Chapter 19
Jessica
It was nearly nine o’clock when Jessica woke on Christmas morning feeling lonely and sad. She peeked out her window and saw fresh snow covering the ground, the trees, the bushes, and the road in front of her house. A Christmas snow. That was rare for Nashville. Jessica sighed heavily. This would be her first Christmas without Adam in five years.
Still in her pajamas, she padded into her den and stared at her present for her father where it sat on an end table. She sighed. The Brooklyn Bridge replica. What should she do with it now that he wasn’t coming? Maybe she’d mail it to him for New Year’s. Or maybe his birthday. She could have mailed it to him overseas, but she desperately wanted to be with him when he opened it. She wanted to see the look on his face. She would have to keep it for his February visit. Yes, that would be best.
She was prepared with a set of trucks for Dylan, a red helicopter/dinosaur Transformer for Cullen, a spa gift card for Haley, and the latest Fitbit for Lenny, all wrapped in red-and-white paper and accented with bows.
Loaded up with the wine, salad, and gifts, Jessica departed at one thirty. The crunch of salt along the slushy roads made driving slow. Lenny and Haley lived in a thirty-five-year-old two-story home in Crieve Hall, an older section of town with lots of shady trees and a gigantic park that served the neighborhood. The houses each had their own personalities and were built in a variety of styles—from attractive Craftsman bungalows to staid French Country homes, some elegant Colonials and Victorians, and a few brand-new contemporaries. No cookie-cutter subdivisions here which, to Jessica, was entirely refreshing. Driving through their neighborhood, however, she let out a long sigh, her head slumping back against the headrest. She was riding a wave of melancholy. She missed her dad.
She was bundled and layered for the freezing temperature in her warmest red sweater, leggings, a hooded puffer coat, and knee-high fur-trimmed boots. She had on a red knitted Santa hat that her mother had made when they were preteens—one for her and one for Lenny. For a short while, her mother had been one of those Christmas fanatics, playing Christmas songs all over the house, immersing herself in the Christmas spirit, and bringing out a wide assortment of decorations from boxes she stored in the basement. The more she drank through the years, however, the less Christmas cheer she had.
Jessica felt her heart warm up when she approached her brother and Haley’s house, which was decorated to the nines, cute as always. Haley wasn’t as enthusiastic about Christmas as Lenny, but she went along with it to make her husband and the kids happy. Santa stood in front of the house with his sleigh and, of course, Rudolph led the other reindeer. Lenny’s most cherished decoration, handed down from their parents, was standing on the porch: Santa’s elf, a pint-sized elderly man with a white beard and puffed-out red cheeks. He sparkled with multicolored lights, the grin on his face ebullient as he stood there for eternity, presenting a wrapped gift in one hand.
Was life itself a gift? Was that what the elf was portraying? If it was a gift, why were things so hard sometimes?
She was still waiting to hear back from Mr. Buchanan, and the suspense was killing her. Maybe his offer wasn’t going to come through after all, or maybe it was just the holidays—surely it was. She could only hope.
Jessica rang the doorbell, juggling her sack of gifts, the wine, and the salad. Lenny came to the door, crisply dressed in his red hat and a red Christmas sweater that looked brand-new. Neat man. Of course. His cheeks were flushed with color, and his blue eyes were lit with a kind of inner happiness and the brightness of a life well lived. If ever there was a man built for the stay-at-home life, Lenny was it.
“Why, if it isn’t Aunt Jessica!” he exclaimed, roaring just like their dad. “Hello, hello! Merry Christmas!”
“Merry Christmas, Len,” she said with far less enthusiasm.
“The boys are all wound up, so watch out,” he whispered.
She stepped inside, and they hugged, a long, joyous embrace. Dear Lenny. Hugging her twin brother was like coming home.
They were two peas in a pod. “Thing One and Thing Two” was how their mother had referred to them. Once, they’d decided to put a golf ball in the microwave just to see what would happen. The explosion was horrific. Another time, they’d dissected a dead frog on the kitchen table, their mother pitching a fit when she saw it. The frog had been Lenny’s idea, Jessica was sure of it. Her mother had immediately hit the liquor cabinet.
Dylan and Cullen, wearing matching red Christmas sweatshirts with a graphic design of a dog with antlers, raced toward her. “Aunt Jessica!” they cried. “Aunt Jessica!”
“What did Santa bring my favorite little boys?” she asked, bending down to them, trying to force herself out of her sadness—trying, but failing.
“C’mere. C’mere. We want to show you!” they chimed in chorus.
Jessica gave Lenny her bags, then each boy took a hand and dragged her to the pile of toys scattered on the floor in the den. There were Lego pieces, a remote-controlled car and truck, and a train set that was running on a track, making choo-choo sounds.
Dylan went over to a large empty box and began throwing it around like it was the toy itself. “Look what I can do, Aunt Jessica!” he cried. He put the box on as if it were a football helmet and shook his head around inside it.
“Wow! That’s special,” Jessica said, laughing.
“Box helmets.” Lenny was now standing over his son. “It even came with an excavator and a dump truck that you play with for about five minutes.” They smiled at each other. “Let’s let Aunt Jessica take her coat off and relax for a minute, okay? Why don’t you two make an even bigger Lego bridge than you did this morning?”
As the boys scurried to follow their dad’s suggestion, Haley came into the room and gave Jessica a hug. She smelled of vanilla and cinnamon and looked sensational. She had on a reindeer-print swing dress with gold Christmas tree earrings to match. “Jess! How are you? Wow, you’re looking great.” She put her hands on her hips. “You look so healthy. Your skin is glowing.”
“I’ve been eating better. Trying to, anyway.” Jessica shrugged. “Still not exercising as much as I need to, though.”
Haley was in great condition, not an ounce of fat on her, and worked out almost daily at Great Fit Boot Camp, usually going in for the five a.m. class.
“Care for some eggnog? A mimosa? A Bloody Mary?” Haley asked. She gave a giggle of excitement. “After all, it’s Christmas.”
Jessica drew a blank. This was a multiple-choice dietary quiz of the most perplexing kind.
“All of the above?” she said, touching Haley’s arm. “No. Seriously. I’ll start with eggnog. Once a year, it can’t kill you, right?”
“Great! Be right back,” Haley said as Jessica sat down.
A minute later, she returned with the drink and sat on the couch with Jessica. It was a Raj slate-colored leather sectional with metal legs. Gorgeous. Jessica rubbed her hand across it, reveling in its smooth texture. She’d picked it out for them about two years ago and marveled at how clean and pristine Lenny had kept it, even with two boys and their day-to-day messiness.
“I put a splash of rum in it—hope you don’t mind,” Haley said with a wink.
Ah, Christmas. The one time of year when people added alcohol into milk products. So strange.
“Don’t mind at all.” She took the drink and sipped it. Delicious .
Haley and Jessica looked on as Lenny got on the floor and started racing remote-controlled cars with the boys, making all kinds of action sounds: “ Kaboom . . . vrrrroom . . . ratrrrrr . . .” The boys followed suit, and soon it was a cacophony of barks and hoots.
The three of them started wrestling until the boys were on top of their dad, who was pinned to the floor. Cullen and Dylan jumped on him, using him as a bounce house.
“Help! Help!” he said. Then he rose like a giant Gulliver and fended them off. The Lilliputians laughed and giggled as he wrestled them down, the boys pleading to do it again.
Jessica gave the boys her presents, which they opened with little-boy wonder. She sipped on her eggnog and watched them grow excited.
“Thank you, Aunt Jessica!” they both exclaimed after Haley had prompted them.
Then Jessica gave Cullen a good tickle-session and tossed Dylan around as they cried for more. She spun them in the air a bit longer.
But eventually, she had to say it: “Sure wish Dad was here.” She returned to the couch. She leaned back, recalling how her father had played with her as a child, roughhousing and everything. “He loves playing with the kids.”
Haley gave her a sympathetic look and said, “We should call him soon. FaceTime him.”
“Yes. For sure,” Lenny agreed.
“He’s always been with us for Christmas,” Jessica said.
Haley nodded. “He’s such a special man. I love him to death. The boys love him too. They’re crazy about him.”
“Oh well.” Lenny and Jessica spoke at the same time, looked at each other, and then broke out in laugher. Their twin communication had kicked in.
A minute later, Dylan put the box back on his head and shook it around, then fell on the floor with a thump. “Oops,” he said.
“Box Man!” Lenny said in a TV announcer’s voice. “He flies through the air with the greatest of ease, defends the weak, and brings evil to its knees. Coming this summer to a theater near you.”
Jessica and Haley laughed.
“Well, shall we eat?” Haley said a minute later.
“I’m so hungry.” Jessica thought about Paul and wondered how he was doing. Did he have anything alcoholic on Christmas? Did he drink eggnog at all? Mr. Health. Surely there had to be a downside to being so fit. The problem was she just couldn’t think of any at the moment. “I think I could eat a—”
There was a knock on the door. Double raps. Then the doorbell rang and rang again.
Lenny looked at Haley and frowned. “Who could that be?”
Haley shrugged and raised an eyebrow. “Amazon delivery?”
“On Christmas?”
“I’ll get it,” Jessica volunteered with a hint of lament in her voice. But when she opened the door, she froze like a snowman as a flush of adrenaline coursed through her body.
“Dad? I-I . . . Dad!” She blinked rapidly and put a hand to her mouth.
He was wearing his famous long black winter coat, which was dotted with snowflakes. His gray hair was in its usual disarray. Dad. Jessica stood there, wide-eyed, as if he’d somehow resurrected himself from the dead. A smile as wide as the Mississippi River stretched across his face.
Her father laughed his great, joyous laugh, a Santa Claus belly laugh if there ever was one. “Can your old man come in and get a little eggnog?” he said in his rough voice.
She threw her arms around him, unchecked tears coursing down her cheeks as she clung on desperately, as if she were drowning and had finally been handed a lifeline. She inhaled the feel of her father, felt the shape of him.
Lenny came racing into the foyer, a big grin crossing his face. “Dad?” he said. “What the hell? Why didn’t you tell us you were coming?”
The two hugged, clapping each other on the back for a long minute.
Their father stepped over the threshold, taking off his coat and handing it to Lenny. “Just thought I’d surprise you guys. Flew in nonstop from London. Right on schedule.”
Haley came over and gave her father-in-law a long hug. “It’s so good to see you, Ron. Come in, come in! Eggnog for everyone!”
“Thanks for keeping it a secret, Hale,” he said. “You done good.” He winked at her, and they embraced again.
“They didn’t know a thing,” she said, and they high-fived, beaming at her success.
Jessica dropped her jaw. Haley had been in on it? Amazing.
“So.” Her father rubbed his hands together. “Got any Kahlúa for the nog?”
“I just happen to have a bottle with your name on it,” Lenny said, blinking. He looked at Jessica, and they shrugged at each other. A twin flash: Can you believe this?
“Now that’s what I call a first-class son.” Her father clapped Lenny on the back again.
“Grandpa!” The boys raced up to him and ran into his arms. “Hey, Grandpa! Let’s play!” They tried to grab his hands and pull him toward the toys.
“Not now, boys,” Haley said. “Let your grandpa rest a minute. I’m sure he’s tired. Are you hungry?”
Staring at her father as he tousled his grandkids’ hair, Jessica felt her lower lip tremble. She still couldn’t believe it. The family magnet had been too powerful for him to stay away. This family. The original family. The realization made her put a palm to her chest and hold it there as she felt herself sink into a kind of emotional quicksand of love and appreciation.
“Of course. I’m starved,” her father said. “And the breaking news is . . .”
“What, Grandpa?” the two boys asked in unison, looking up at him with eyes of wonderment.
“I’ve got presents for everybody!”
“Yay!” they both exclaimed, jumping up and down. “Presents! More presents! Oh, boy.”
Christmas. What a day it was.
“I’ll bring them inside in a bit,” he said. “They’re in my rental car. Hope you don’t mind giving me that spare bedroom of yours.”
“Are you kidding?” Lenny smiled. “Of course! How long are you staying?”
“I’m here until the thirtieth, then it’s back to London.”
As they all went to the dining room to feast, Jessica could hardly take her eyes off her dad.
She piled her plate with sweet potatoes covered with melted marshmallows, ham and turkey, salads and rolls—the works. If you were going to load up, this was the day to do it. The conversation turned to her father’s latest bridge project, and he spoke with long, sweeping gestures.
“After London, I’m headed to Mexico for a few weeks for a job,” he was saying, sweet potato casserole on his fork. There was always a bridge for him to work on somewhere. “Then it’ll be Roanoke. Did you guys know that Mexico has the world’s highest cable-stayed bridge? It spans a ravine in the Sierra Madre Occidental Mountains. It’s thirteen hundred feet tall. The Eiffel Tower could fit under it.”
Jessica raised a glass of wine. “Here’s to the highest cable-stayed bridge.”
“Cheers!” they all cried.
When the pies came out for dessert, Jessica had a large slice of chocolate pecan with vanilla ice cream on top. Delicious.
After the meal, Haley put Cullen and Dylan in front of 101 Dalmatians . For a moment, even the adults got caught up in the Disney fantasy and the world of talking dogs coming to life, but then it was back to the dining room so the adults could talk without interruption.
“Dad,” Jessica said, getting right into it a few minutes later. “Break it down for us. Why did you surprise us like this? I mean, we’re glad you’re here and all, but why didn’t you just call?”
Her father took a long swig of his coffee. He turned serious, his thin lips pinching together, his brow furrowed. “The truth is that I missed you guys so damn much. Christmas without you and Lenny and Haley and the kids? I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t stay away. I was so torn. London or Nashville. I invited Evelyn and her daughters to come with me, but she couldn’t get away. She has to work in her clinic tomorrow for Boxing Day. And so, yesterday, at the last minute, I just did it—booked the flight and off I went.”
Jessica got up from her seat and hugged her father. “I’m so glad you chose Nashville.”
A minute later, in a sing-songy voice as if he were some TV gossip reporter homing in on a scoop, Lenny prompted, “So tell us about Evelyn, Dad. Inquiring minds want to know.”
At the mention of her name, his eyes lit up and his cheeks colored. For a moment, he looked like a younger man. “She’s the best, guys. She changed my life. I guess that’s what love does to you, even at my age. It’s crazy.” He scratched his head. “I still can’t understand it.”
“How’d you meet her?” Jessica asked. The good thing was she now knew completely that she wasn’t going to lose him to another family, another life. His coming all this way from London proved that.
“Well, I was at this coffee shop in central London called the Little Red Roaster. And the craziest thing—we got our drinks mixed up.” There was a sparkle in his eyes and a brightness in his voice that Jessica had never seen or heard before. “I’d ordered a mocha, and she ordered a latte . . . wait, or was it the other way around? Hell, I can’t remember. The point is that we started talking, and the next thing we knew, an hour had passed. I got her phone number, and things went on from there. I’d never met someone I felt so comfortable with so fast. It’s hard to describe. It all just fell into place. I guess it happens sometimes, doesn’t it? When everything just clicks? Her two daughters seem to like me . . . at least I think they do.”
“That’s great, Dad,” Lenny said. He looked ecstatic.
“I’m so happy for you.” Jessica smiled widely. “You deserve love. And she sounds like the right person.”
Finding love was possible at any age, right?
Lenny arched an eyebrow. “You’re getting serious with her?”
They all leaned forward, waiting for him to answer.
“Well . . .” Her father couldn’t suppress his smile. He blushed like a blooming rose as his shoulders climbed up to his ears. “We have brought up the M-word.”
“Wow,” Haley said.
“That’s great. We’d sure love to meet her,” Lenny said.
“Fantastic, Dad.” Jessica grinned at him again. If her father could find love, surely she could too—if she ever wanted to try again, if she found herself willing to take the leap and to trust her heart.
“Of course,” he said. “That will be arranged in good time. We’ll all get together.”
“What about the presents, Grandpa?” Cullen asked.
“First I have to ask if you two have been good boys,” he said.
“We’ve been good,” they chanted in unison, looking up at their grandfather hopefully.
“Okay, then. Merry Christmas!” He belly-laughed like Santa Claus as a tear welled in his eye. “Be right back.”
“Let me help you, Dad,” Jessica said.
Putting on her jacket, she followed her father out to his car parked outside. She wanted some time alone with him. The cold air nipped at her nose.
“I’m so glad you came,” Jessica said, hugging her father once again.
“I am too, Jess,” he said.
“And I can’t believe you finally found someone.”
“I know. I can’t believe it either. Especially at my age.”
He opened his trunk and withdrew the gifts, then shut the trunk back down. Their footsteps scraped against the snow.
“I’m too scared to love like that, Dad,” she said softly, lowering her eyes, as she admitted her inner fear and the reason she wanted to speak with him alone. “It seems that every time I try, it always falls apart.”
Her father put his hand on her shoulder. He spoke softly. “It has to be the right time, Jess. I think that’s your problem. With Adam, it wasn’t. But you know what? If you just close your eyes and listen to your heart, you’ll find all the answers you need. And before you know it, that right time will come.”
“Really, Dad? Is it that simple?”
“For me it was. And for you too. Yes. It’s that simple.”
Jessica smiled. Maybe real love, forever love, was possible. Maybe trying to protect her heart all the time, no matter what, wasn’t nearly as important as she thought. Like books and gifts, hearts were made to be opened. And maybe it was time to open up hers.
Jessica and her father returned carrying four colorful gift bags with plenty of tissue paper on top, then handed them out to the boys.
“Oh, boy!”
They grappled with the paper, ripping it out, and Jessica and Lenny and Haley stood watching them, the boys’ eyes beaming.
“I’m so glad I came.” Their father put his arms around Lenny and Jessica as the boys uncovered toy trucks and airplanes. “I knew it was the right thing to do.”
“We’re glad you came too, Dad,” Lenny said.
“Definitely.” Jessica eyed her dad, feeling such love for him.
“Football in the backyard?” Lenny asked. “You, Jessica, and Cullen versus me, Haley, and Dylan?”
“It’s a bit snowy,” Jessica said, looking out the window.
“A little snow never hurt anyone. Right, boys?” Lenny said.
“Right!” the two children chimed in.
“And how about a wager?” her father said, rubbing his hands together and giving them all a sly smile as they headed out the door. Like father, like son, for sure. “Losers buy ice cream next time we go out.”
Lenny grinned, quick to answer. “You got it!”