Chapter 12
It’s been a little over a month since Connor found me crying in the parking lot of the hospital.
Five agonizing weeks of trying to avoid him at all costs because I don’t want to talk about the tests I need or my divorce.
Which, by the way, has been nearly frickin’ impossible.
You’d think in a big city like Green Bay, we’d rarely cross paths outside the rink.
But for whatever reason, the higher powers above are trying to torture me.
Yoga class with Sadie? He’s there.
Drinks with the girls at The Cracked Mug? He’s there.
The coffee shop near the arena I’ve come to know and love? He’s there.
Eric Church concert with some of the coaching staff? He’s there.
He doesn’t even like country music. Well, at least he didn’t. He never used to like pineapple on pizza either. Maybe I don’t know him as well as I thought I did.
And to make matters worse, every time I’ve seen him, he’s been so nice. It’s annoying the crap out of me. I see him enough at the arena, why can’t the universe just give us some space outside of it?
The most frustrating part of it all is that his kindness is making it harder for me to stay angry and keep him at a distance.
Each time he does something nice, like refilling my water without me asking, or offering me his jacket after I shiver once, it becomes more difficult to keep my walls up.
Which scares the crap out of me. I can’t let him in because I need to protect my heart. It’s all becoming a little unnerving.
I took this job knowing he’d be back in my life, but I was hoping it would just be in a professional capacity.
I didn’t anticipate seeing him outside in my everyday life.
I’m left pondering what I did to deserve seeing his stupid, handsome face everywhere when Ellie’s voice breaks through my thoughts.
“I can’t believe the Olympic rosters will be announced next month. How is it already almost January?” Ellie asks as she leans forward to grab another chip then dips it into the guacamole.
Katie invited us over to her new apartment for a girls’ night.
She actually recently recommended a new therapist for me because it was becoming difficult for her to separate our professional and personal relationship.
I appreciate her honesty, and knowing I can trust her makes it easier to trust the person she recommended.
With that being said, I almost didn’t come tonight. But when Tamara asked me to give her one reason why I shouldn’t, I couldn’t come up with one. Even though I’ve had a couple flare ups recently, I decided to join when Katie said it was just going to be a night spent inside with food and movies.
We’re all spread out around the industrial-style living room, exposed pipes and brick the real center point of the space.
Even though she just moved in, it already feels homey.
Artwork and framed photos line the walls and entertainment center, cute, patterned throw pillows covering the cozy-looking blue couch where Ellie, Sadie, and Katie sit.
Sloane and I are in matching accent chairs, and we’re all tucked in around the coffee table.
“Speaking of the Olympics, what’s this mystery trip you and Lincoln are taking all about? You ever going to let us in on that little secret?” Sadie bumps her best friend in the shoulder.
Ellie wraps her arm around Sadie and pulls her into a side hug. “I promise when I’m allowed to tell people, you’ll be the first one to know, Sades.”
I look around at the group of ladies I’ve come to know, and for the first time since moving here, I’m feeling like I might actually belong here. Even if it is where Connor lives, too.
One of the phones on the table buzzes and lights up. The name Hunter flashes at the top, and a picture of Katie and the handsome Bobcats coach fills the screen.
Sadie grabs the phone and holds it up, accusation coating her every word. “Why is Hunter video calling you? Better yet, why is there a picture of him kissing your cheek as his call photo? Since when are you two so friendly?”
Every head turns toward Katie, her pale cream skin turning the darkest shade of crimson. She flips her auburn hair over her shoulder and confiscates her phone from Sadie.
“Who else am I supposed to hang out with now that you and Ellie are all in love, playing house?”
She silences her phone and flips it face down on the couch beside her. It immediately starts buzzing again with another call, and she quickly hits the side button to send it to voicemail.
Sloane grabs her margarita glass from the table, raising an eyebrow at Katie in the process.
“Um, hi. I’m Sloane. This here is my friend, Avery.
” She does her best Vanna White and showcases her hand next to her where I’m sitting and I wave teasingly.
“We are your very single friends who would love to hang out with you. Isn’t that right, Avery? ”
The girls all snicker. Katie’s phone on the couch buzzes for the third time, causing her to groan.
“I’m the team psychologist, it might be an emergency. I’m going to go take this.” She stands and makes her way out of the living room, our hoots and hollers of disbelief following her on the way out.
“I wonder what that was all about.” Ellie’s eyes are still on the hallway where Katie disappeared down a moment ago.
Sloane shrugs. “Maybe they’re banging.”
In the few months that I’ve been around this group, Sloane is easily the most outspoken. She is not afraid to say what’s on her mind, no matter the circumstances. I kind of envy her for that.
Ellie pretends to gag. “Okay, can we not? Hunter is basically like a brother to me and Katie is practically Lincoln’s sister.”
She’s got a point. Hunter is the other assistant coach on the Bobcats and is best friends with Ellie, Sadie, and Lincoln.
And Katie is Lincoln’s cousin who he grew up with.
I haven’t asked many questions, but Katie told me he was always at her house growing up and he moved in with her during high school when his parents were out of the picture.
“Don’t be such a prude, El. You’re banging your boss. They’re allowed to bang, too. Besides, she could totally do worse. Hunter and his slutty little glasses are nice to look at.”
This time it’s Sadie who gags. “Nope. Can’t picture him like that. He’s my twin flame. Please, can we talk about literally anything else?’
Everyone laughs, and Katie chooses this moment to rejoin us. She flops down onto the couch.
“What did I miss?’
The three of us girls all look at each other, and Sloane is the first to speak. “I was just about to ask Avery what type of damage she did to our star defenseman. I’ve never seen him rock the sad puppy dog face so much. But damn, if it isn’t permanently plastered on his face when you’re around.”
A prickle of guilt slips under my skin, quick but immediate, like a reflex I don’t get to control. Connor’s face flashes in my mind before I can push it away, and it’s the same look Sloane is joking about, the one I’ve seen more than once when he thinks I’m not paying attention.
I drop my gaze to my drink, fingers tightening around my cup as if that alone can steady me. I don’t know if I want to laugh Sloane’s words off or defend myself or just disappear into the chair cushions and avoid all of this entirely.
I glance up to see Sloane’s attention on me now. I don’t miss the pitying look on Sadie and Katie’s faces, though. I have two choices here, I can feign ignorance and pretend I have no idea what she’s talking about, or I can face this head-on and get everything out in the open.
No more running.
I steel my spine and lift my chin. “Connor and I dated in high school. It ended dramatically, but we still stayed civil because we had all the same friends. But a little over two years ago, he basically dropped off the face of the earth. So, it’s a little jarring to see him everywhere, especially outside the rink. ”
Sloane takes a sip of her margarita and then sets it on the table. She swings one leg over the other and laughs. “Girl, you are a better person than me. I don’t think I could handle even being in the same state as my ex, let alone work with them.”
She voices the exact thing I was thinking before I took this job. But I’ve let a man sway my choices before and I’ll never do it again.
“I mean, yeah, I thought the same thing at first. But this job was too big of an opportunity to pass up.” I turn my attention to Ellie now.
“You know what it’s like. You’re only the second-ever female coach in the league.
I’m officially the first full-time female play-by-play commentator in the NHL.
There’s no way I was going to let Connor Smith get in the way of that. ”
“Preach!” Sloane reaches for the table and lifts her margarita in the air.
We all laugh and clink our glasses together.
Luckily, Katie steers the conversation elsewhere after that.
We spend the next two hours laughing and eating all the delicious snacks Katie made for us while Sweet Home Alabama plays in the background.
It’s one of my all-time favorite movies, so I find myself drifting away from the conversation more than a few times to watch.
My eyes are locked on the screen, watching the two main characters kiss in the rain, when I hear Sloane’s excited voice.
“Now, Jake here in this movie is my type of man. I can’t even blame Melanie for blowing up her engagement for her first love. I can’t believe she even left him in the first place!”
Her words strike a chord in me, and my heart begins to ache as thoughts of Connor flood my system.
Our first unofficial date where I got him to try pineapple on his pizza for the first time.
Him ordering my favorite pizza at the bar last month, even though he always claimed to hate it. But that’s not all I’m remembering.