Chapter 24
I’m damn near carving a hole in the floor of the courthouse lobby as I pace back and forth waiting for Connor. This is good. I know this is good. That doesn’t stop the nerves from creeping up.
This is Connor I’m talking about. The boy who would look at the stars with me and cheer me on at every one of my games he could attend. This is all going to work out.
After I pour the powder into my water, I screw the top back on and start to shake it. Apparently the lid wasn’t on all the way, because a few droplets spill onto the navy blue dress I’m wearing.
“Damn it.” I try to smooth out the water as if that will do anything to hide it.
I don’t even know why I dressed up today.
This isn’t a real wedding. But when I went to leave the house, jeans and a plain T-shirt didn’t feel right.
So, I sprinted back into the apartment and grabbed a dress from the hall closet where I’ve been keeping my things at Tamara’s.
Now I feel like an idiot for wearing this damn thing.
My hands are still smoothing out my dress when I hear his voice.
“Sorry I’m late.”
I look up, and the sight before me kicks my heart rate back into high gear.
My mouth goes dry as I take in the man standing before me.
Navy blue dress pants hug his muscular thighs in a way that should be illegal.
I almost fall over craning my neck to get a shot of his backside.
I move my gaze upward to see him wearing a white-button down shirt, rolled up past his elbows, showing off the sexiest forearms I’ve ever seen.
He is so damn handsome it literally fucking hurts.
He clears his throat and my eyes shoot up from his arms to his face where he’s wearing a devilish grin. “Nice to see you too, Aves.”
I feel the heat rush to my cheeks so there’s no use in trying to deny that I was checking him out.
“You clean up nice, Superstar.”
Connor rocks back on his heels and splays his hands out to the side. “Today’s a special day.” His voice is teasing but his words still make my pulse quicken.
Not wanting to dwell on that fact for another second, I stand and loop my bag over my shoulder. Connor whistles, and I whip my head toward him.
“You don’t look so bad yourself, Chamberlin. You trying to impress me or something?”
This flirty side of Connor shouldn’t surprise me, he always used to throw compliments my way. But that was years ago. What’s gotten into him?
I must be looking at him with questions in my eyes because he answers before I can even voice my thoughts out loud.
“Sorry. Just trying to lighten the mood. I know what we’re doing is the right call, but I’m still a little nervous.
” He shrugs his shoulders sheepishly and seeing him like this is the cutest thing.
Connor is six foot five and one of the biggest, most intimidating men I’ve ever seen.
Even before big games he was calm and composed.
Seeing him nervous like this is rare, and I take a moment to engrave it in my memory.
“What if I am trying to impress you? Would that be a problem?”
What the fuck am I even saying right now?
Bold, flirtatious Avery is a woman of the past. I haven’t felt like myself in years, and even though it’s come out in the form of flirting with my ex-boyfriend, it feels kind of good to see flashes of my old self come back to life.
“Not a problem at all.” Connor winks and the move does something to me. Specifically, in the area between my legs.
Stupid traitorous vagina.
Doing my best to not let him see how flustered he makes me, I swing my hand in front of me. “Shall we?”
We walk side by side to the main desk in the lobby of the courthouse where an older woman points us in the direction we need to go.
We make our way down a hallway to the room where a judge is waiting for us.
Connor places his hand on my lower back and ushers me inside.
Butterflies take flight the moment I feel his fingers connect with the small amount of exposed skin at the bottom of my spine.
This is all becoming a little too much for me. His chivalry is throwing me off and making me remember promises we made to each other when we were kids. I don’t realize I’ve stopped moving until Connor is in front of me. He places his hands on my shoulders and bends down to look at me.
“Hey, you okay? Do you need to sit for a minute? How’s your heart rate?’
That isn’t freaking helping!
Taking a deep breath, I finally look at him.
“I’m fine. I think.”
His hazel eyes are full of concern as they bounce between mine. “Here, let’s just sit for a second.” He helps me into a chair near the wall and sits down next to me, placing a hand on my knee.
My eyes are focused on his hand, so I’m caught off guard when he grabs my arm with his other one, lifting my wrist, bringing my watch to his face.
“127. Avery, your heart rate is getting too high. What can I do to help?”
You could stop being so flipping perfect, for starters.
“Um…” I have no idea what to say because I’m not sure if it’s my mysterious medical condition causing my heart to do somersaults, or the man sitting next to me, ready to burn down the world to help me.
“Everything all right over there?” The judge’s voice is loud, but kind.
Connor turns to him. “We’re okay. She just needs a minute to catch her breath.”
The judge nods and looks down at something in front of him. I don’t miss the way he keeps one eye on us, though. He probably thinks I’m ready to bolt. Oh god, what if he’s on to us?
“Do you think he knows?” My question comes out in a rush and Connor chuckles softly to himself.
“No, Aves. I don’t think he has any idea. He probably just thinks you’re nervous because you’re about to get married. I think that’s normal.”
It probably should be normal, but when he says it I’m brought back to the obscenely large church with Bryan, even though neither of us were religious, surrounded by hundreds of people I didn’t know.
The signs were there with my first marriage.
No countdown or butterflies the day of my wedding.
Not wanting to write my own vows. Heck, I didn’t even care about most of the details, not that Bryan gave me much freedom.
He and his parents hired a wedding planner, but that didn’t even bother me.
Hindsight is twenty-twenty, but now that I’m thinking about it, I felt like a stranger on the outside looking in the day of my wedding.
Like I wasn’t even there. Maybe mentally, I wasn’t.
Connor must take my silence as a bad sign because his hand finds my cheek, turning my head so I’m facing him again.
“Look at me, Aves.”
My eyes find his again and everything else around us disappears. It’s just me and Connor. Like I always thought it would be.
“Good, now can you name five things you can hear? Wait, shit. I think it’s name five things you can see. Damn it. Sadie taught me this once, but I think I’m fucking it up.”
A laugh bubbles out of me. He has no idea that what he’s doing is exactly what I need. Him, flustered. Taking care of me. I’ve been craving this type of attention.
“Laughing is good. Let’s try it together. Let’s find five things we can see.”
We both turn our attention to the room, and there’s not much to see unfortunately. We take turns identifying things we see until it’s my turn to find the fifth object.
“I see beautiful pink peonies in a vase near the judge.”
Connor turns his head to find them and I watch the corner of his mouth twitch. “That’s definitely better than daisies.”
For a second, I think I misheard him.
Better than daisies?
There were daisies covering damn near every surface at the church when Bryan and I got married. It was gaudy and over the top, and I hated everything about it. How would Connor know that?
The judge interrupts my thoughts. “I don’t mean to sound impatient, but there’s another couple scheduled to arrive soon.
If you’re still planning on going through with this…
” His voice trails off, and I feel Connor grab my hand.
Instinctively, I thread my fingers with his.
“Then we need to get this show on the road.”
We both look at each other at the same time, our fingers still laced together.
“What do you say, Aves? You ready to marry me?”
I want to tell him I’ve been ready for years. That even though life led us along different paths, part of me was always hoping we would find our way back to each other. That even though this isn’t real, I kind of wish it was. But instead, I smile and say only three words.
“Let’s do this.”
Connor stands first but doesn’t let go of my hand.
I follow him to the front of the room, gripping his fingers like a lifeline.
When we stop in front of the judge, he stands and presents us with some paperwork.
We listen as he goes through the procedure on how this will work and explains the legal commitment being made today.
“Will we be exchanging the standard vows or have you two written your own to share today?”
I stand dumbstruck. For some reason, I didn’t think we’d have a real ceremony like this. I thought we’d come in, sign the papers, and be on our way. I open my mouth to ask if we can skip this part when I see Connor move from the corner of my eye.
“Actually, I have something I’d like to say.”
My body moves on its own accord. I turn to face Connor, my eyes assessing the man who never ceases to take me by surprise. He takes my other hand with his, holding both of mine now between us.
“I know we didn’t plan on writing any vows and you probably don’t have anything prepared.” I raise my eyebrow, because no shit I don’t have anything prepared. Connor chuckles at my expression and the sound soothes me. “But I can’t let this day go by without telling you something.”
Connor takes a step closer to me and reaches up to cup my face. His thumb starts moving in slow circles, his eyes locked on mine unblinking.
“Eleven years, and not a day has gone by that I haven’t thought of you in some way, Avery Chamberlin.
You were destined for things that were so much greater than me.
But life is funny, isn’t it? It brought you back to me, and I’m the luckiest guy on the planet to be here with you today.
And I want to make you one promise. Here and now.
” He leans forward and presses his forehead against mine.
In a voice so quiet that only I can hear, he says, “I will stop at nothing to get you the answers you’ve been looking for.
I will tear this world apart to get them if it means you’ll find happiness again. ”
We stay like that, foreheads together, his hand on my cheek, until the judge asks another question.
“Did you bring any rings with you today?”
I’m mid-shake of my head when Connor surprises me for the second time during this ceremony. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a big gold ring.
“I know we didn’t have time to pick out your dream ring”—he winks at me—“but I thought this would do.” He slides the ring he was given in high school for winning the national championship. It’s the same one he gave to me a lifetime ago when he promised we’d have a future together.
Memories of the promises we made to each other back then flash through my mind.
This ring represented so much for us. A promise.
A future. A life together. Then another memory hits, and a swell of emotion claws its way up my throat.
I’m back in front of my dorm, the day he broke my heart and I shoved the ring so hard into his chest, I’m sure it left a mark.
I hesitate for a beat, unsure if I can handle doing this.
But then I look up at Connor, his bright eyes easing the anxiety and allowing me to think clearly.
Therapy has taught me that we must learn from our past if we don’t want to repeat it.
Instead of feeling sad about the future we could’ve had, I feel hopeful, knowing he’s here with me again, determined to help me get the answers I’ve been desperate for.
Connor holds my hand to help keep the ring in place. It’s too big, sliding around on my finger with the weight, but somehow it fits better than my old, real one ever did. Connor’s other hand returns to my cheek, and I look up from the ring to him, my watery eyes finding his.
The judge continues the ceremony, but I barely hear a word. I’m lost in Connor’s gaze as we stare at each other through the rest of it. Standing here with him, I feel myself being pulled back into the nostalgia of it all.
This is just a marriage of convenience. This isn’t real.
I’m busy reminding myself of that when I hear Connor say, “I do.” I don’t even realize I’ve said it back until the judge takes a step back.
“You may kiss your bride.”
His words finally break us apart, but I don’t get far. The hand that was cupping my cheek is now wrapped around the back of my neck. I let go of Connor’s hand I was holding and grab the front of his shirt.
I have no idea what’s happening to me. I’m entering dangerous territory, but I can’t seem to stop myself. The next thing I know, I’m sucking in a breath and bracing myself for impact.
Connor’s lips press against mine in the softest, most tender kiss of my life. There’s no tongue, there’s no desperation. It’s simple. And it’s perfect. We stay connected like this for many seconds until he finally pulls away. My eyes are still closed, his hand still on my neck.
When I finally gain the strength to open them, he’s smiling.
Neither of us say a word as we look into each other’s eyes. A smile of my own matches his before we both break out into laughter. I’m aware of the judge next to us, who is probably looking at us like we’ve lost our minds.
Because we have a little bit, haven’t we?
The judge tells us we need to sign the marriage license, and I look away from Connor for a split second to sign my name. Connor does the same, and then we’re back to staring at each other like fools.
“You ready to go, wife?” Connor asks, cocking a brow.
“I was born ready.”
And with that, we take off running out of the room like two kids ready to raise some hell.