Chapter 52
"There are darknesses in life and there are lights; you are one of the lights, the light of all lights."
Brooks
4 years later
Where the first couple got hitched
I shook my head as I drained my champagne flute. “They are so ridiculous.”
Tilian was slightly tipsy and he was cracking up. I was pretty sure he hadn’t stopped laughing since the T-rex incident during the ceremony. Now, with West and Linc making out on stage during the reception, he was done for.
“They’re engaged,” Tilian crooned. “That’s so cute.”
“Is it?”
“Don’t be moody.”
“Baby, I’m not.”
He wrapped an arm around my neck and hung in front of me while he peered into my soul.
“Grumpy.”
I tried not to smile. Sen was the one who kept encouraging him to drink. Even at his own wedding, the guy wanted to cause destruction.
Dipping close to Tilian’s ear, I grazed it with my teeth. “We should go.”
“But it’s not over.”
“People will be here for a while. All the important stuff happened. Besides, we’re all getting together tonight before Sen and Kai leave tomorrow.”
“Fucking Spain. That’s a dope honeymoon.”
I hummed my agreement as I dragged him toward the exit. Kai shook his head as he watched me. After I flipped him off, I pushed the doors open and ushered Tilian to the car.
“You’re so pushy,” he grumbled.
“I didn’t expect you to be drunk.”
“One, I’m not drunk. Two, what does that mean? Do we have plans?”
“Shh.”
He huffed and leaned against the door while I drove. When I pulled up to the university, he looked around curiously.
“Shit. You’re doing something weird.”
I couldn’t hide my smile. “Am not.”
He whined like I was asking him to scale Mt. Everest. It was just the courtyard, but drama was necessary, obviously.
I led him to the stadium and didn’t answer any of his questions. Only when I found the correct row did I turn to him.
“Go sit up there.”
His brow furrowed as he stared at the stands. “Where?”
“You’ll figure it out.”
Looking so nervous that it was impressive, he climbed the steps. I sat on the lowest one and watched him. When he saw a joint on one of the seats, he cocked his head.
“Here?” he asked. I just gestured for him to get on with it. He picked up the joint and lit it, taking an extra long hit. “Now what?”
“Remember when I turned around and looked at you, then you turned into a scared little cat?”
He glared at me as he smoked. With a laugh, I stood.
“Do that. What you did then.”
“Why?”
“Just do it, Tilian. Close your eyes.”
“You can’t surprise me with another car. I don’t want it. I didn’t want the first one.”
“This isn’t one of those things.”
His defiance was clear, but he dropped his face into his lap and covered his head with his arms. Quietly, I climbed the steps until I was standing two below him, just like the first time. I’d been nervous as hell approaching him, which had been the first sign that I was in over my head.
After looking at the ice cream cone with a smiley face that he’d drawn on my forearm this morning, I took a deep breath and shoved my hands into my pockets. He’d know that it was because they were shaking, but that was okay.
“Hey, Tilian?”
“Hm?”
“Look at me.”
He did and he immediately broke into a smile. I wasn’t even doing anything but standing here. God, I loved this man.
“Remember when we met here?” I asked.
“Yeah, it was traumatizing.”
“Shut up.”
He zipped his mouth, then tossed the imaginary key behind him. Shaking my head, I scooted in front of him, then I dropped into a crouch between his legs and put one hand on his thigh.
“Are you gonna suck my dick?”
“Oh my god,” I groaned. “I forgot the ball gag.”
“I need a week between using it or my mouth hurts.”
“Okay,” I said, trying to bring us back to the topic at hand. “The first time I saw you in person was in class, but you were in your own little world. The second time was here and I just thought it couldn’t be random coincidence. Harmon is huge and you could be anywhere smoking. Why would you be here?”
“Hot football players.”
“Mm. I was dying for an excuse to talk to you, so I made one up. This is where everything started. Then, it was here that we first hung out. It led to our first kiss in your dorm. You may think it was just a game and it was meant to be, but once it started, it scared the shit out of me. Baby, you planted yourself inside of me and you just wouldn’t stop growing.”
He just stared at me, finally silent. I reached up to brush his hair behind his ear. When his eyes started to shine, I smiled at him.
Pulling my other hand from my pocket, I set a ring on his thigh. It was a black band with three amethysts set into it. His breath stuttered as he ran his hands through his hair. I watched him, letting him work through it. He shook his head, then looked at the ring, then back at me.
“Are you mute?” I asked.
He let out a choked laugh. “Fuck you. Brooks. What the fuck are you doing?”
“There’s no way you’d want a public proposal like those dramatic fuckers.”
“No,” he whispered. “I’d kill myself.”
“I know. That’s why I’m asking you to marry me in the place I first got to hear you speak, where I saw those beautiful blue eyes in person and decided it was my new favorite color.”
“Basic,” he whispered.
“You’re anything but.”
“Are you sure you…”
“Don’t you know? You make my darkness disappear and no matter how many times it comes back, you’re right there to do it again. I still can’t promise you everything, but I promised you three things in that frat house. I promise I’m not going to drop you, I won’t get tired of you, and I’ll try not to ever hurt you. I still love your personality and the way you smile for me. Those things are never going to change. I have one more promise to make.”
“What is it?”
“I promise to give you my forever. You are my forever.”
“God damnit, Brooks. I’m so glad I have this joint.”
“It wasn’t just for the memory.”
He shook his head and set it aside before he grabbed my face and pulled me into a kiss filled with every promise I’d ever made to him and all of the ones we’d make to each other for the rest of our lives.
I slipped the ring onto his finger and looked at it fondly. “I love you, Tilian Holoway.”
“This might’ve been where it happened.”
“What?”
“I think I started falling in love with you the moment I saw you standing there, looking at me with expectations that scared me at the time. You came up to me lit my world on fire. The light isn’t just mine. It’s yours. You lit the fucking match.” He kissed me again, then knocked me onto my ass to crawl into my lap. “I love you. I fucking love you. So fucking much.”
Thank the universe for colleges away from home. For sociology class. Football fields. Dimly lit dorm rooms. Bars with pool tables. Broken bongs. Sushi restaurants. Ice skating rinks with arcades. Frat parties. Lakes in the countryside. Long drives to nowhere. Sharpies and tattoo shops. Waterfalls and hiking trips.
Most importantly, thank the universe for this man who refused to give up, even when he had every reason to, the one who fought for me.
He made me brave.
He changed me.
He defended me from all of the things I couldn’t take on alone.
He made the silence less quiet.
I told him to never give me his heart. He took it a step further and traded his for mine.
I was going to keep it forever.