Chapter 6
Felix sent his grown sons and kinsmen out to secretly watch the Lindsays to see where they'd gone and report back.
For hours, Alec and his men searched from one end of town to the other and back again.
Mairiana and Darack could not venture outside, lest they be seen.
Felix's son had told them that, at dark, Alec and his men had retired for the night at an inn some distance away.
At the tavern, Mairiana and Darack lay on separate pallets a few feet apart on the kitchen floor near the hearth, the low flames the only light in the room.
Felix and his wife had offered to give up their bed for her, but she'd refused.
She would much rather stay near Darack at all times, in the event they had to flee at a moment's notice.
Too restless to sleep, she lay watching Darack.
His eyes were closed, his face shadowed by his dark hair.
Was he asleep? She wished she knew him better, but at least she knew him well enough to trust him...
she thought. When she remembered how long and completely she'd trusted Alec, she felt sick to her stomach.
Her heart still ached because of his lies and false front.
Questions ran through her mind constantly.
Had she truly loved Alec? What was love, anyway?
He had told her countless times that he loved her, but he'd obviously lied from the outset.
She no longer knew what was true and what was false.
Never in her life had she doubted herself so much.
She would never marry... never have a family of her own.
Never know what true love was. Tears burned her eyes.
She had always believed herself fortunate, for the most part.
'Twas true she had lost her parents too young, which had been devastating to her because she'd been so young, too.
But her brothers had filled the gap, and—she now knew—mollycoddled her.
No doubt her father had ordered them to. Although, she was sure they loved her.
Still, she didn't want to live at Rornoch Castle the whole of her life with Dugald and his family and Tòmas and his family, once they eventually married...
unless Tòmas moved out. She shook her head.
What did it matter? She closed her eyes and tears dripped onto her makeshift pillow.
If she could have a warm bed and food to eat, what did it matter about the rest of it?
She would have the basic necessities, even if she had no other reason to live.
No purpose. Mayhap she could find happiness in helping care for her brothers' children.
"What's wrong?" The deep, dark murmur seemed a part of the night surrounding her.
Wiping the salty tears from her eyes, she opened them to see Darack observing her. Though he was blurry, his eyes glinted in the firelight. "Naught," she said.
"'Twill do you no good to pretend you're not crying."
"You wouldn't understand."
He grunted. "So, I'm daft, then?"
Annoyance flashed through her. "Why must you take offense at everything I say?" she snapped.
He remained silent and turned on his back to stare at the ceiling.
"'Tis because you're a man," she said. "That's why you wouldn't understand."
He turned his head toward her.
"I have no future," she said, her throat tightening.
He frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I'll not be getting married. No one will have me."
"Why wouldn't they? Surely you can find a far more worthy man than Alec Lindsay."
She shook her head. "Dugald will never allow me to choose again. He'll make me marry whomever he chooses. And if I refuse, I'll be stuck there with him and his future wife and their passel of children. I'll be the maiden aunt who makes herself useful by changing nappies."
"Good God," Darack muttered. "I never took you for a lass who would ever feel sorry for herself."
"Blackguard," she muttered, fury driving her to her feet. She strode from the kitchen, through the door and into the common room. Anywhere to get away from him. She wanted to scream and cry and throw things. Men could understand nothing. Why did she even bother talking to Darack?
"Where the devil do you think you're going?" Darack grumbled low and clamped a hand onto her shoulder, stopping her.
"Leave me be." She jerked away from his grasp.
He lifted her and carried her back into the kitchen, closing the door behind him.
"Put me down!"
He did but held her shoulders. "Keep your voice down. Some of Felix's kinsmen are sleeping in the common room," he whispered.
She did not wish to wake anyone, but she did want away from Darack in the worst way. He had irritated her beyond bearing. She tried to twist from his grasp but he tightened his hold.
"You're naught but a wee brat throwing a tantrum," he said.
Anger flashing through her, she swung her open palm at his face. He caught her wrist and squeezed. Not hard enough to hurt, but she could not draw her hand back.
"Turn loose," she hissed.
"When will you learn I don't take orders from you?"
"Bastard."
That derogatory term twisted through Darack like a huge rusty corkscrew.
People had been saying he was a bastard since he could remember, and he had been for the first ten years of his life.
They claimed his father hadn't married his mother before his death, but he had.
He remembered their wedding ceremony at the wee kirk in the wood.
'Twas to protect his mother and him in the event his father never came back from the battle with Clan Colquhoun.
Darack would be his heir as long as his parents were married, no matter how late.
But not many people knew of the secret wedding.
There were documents proving it, but many said they were falsified after his father's execution in Edinburgh so that the clan would one day have a chief.
"What is wrong with you?" Mairiana demanded, yanking at her hand.
He released her and turned away, then paced to the hearth. He knelt down and stirred the glowing coals with the poker. "I'm not a bastard," he said more calmly than he felt. "My mother and father were married."
"'Tis not what I meant," she said, sounding more reasonable now, contrite even. "I only wanted to insult you so you would turn me loose. I don't know anything about your parents."
"Aye, well, they married when I was ten years old. Late, but not too late. 'Twas just before his final battle and his execution. Not many people know he has a direct, living heir. Lot of good it does me now though; there is no longer a clan. And the king granted the castle to another clan."
"I'm sorry," she whispered, sitting down on her pallet.
Annoyance grated at him. "I don't want your pity."
"'Tis not pity. I simply wish things could be much better for you and your clan."
He nodded, appreciating the sincerity of her tone. "The MacGregors' battle skills were too good. They defeated the Colquhoun clan so thoroughly the king felt a need to wipe us from the face of the earth."
"I have always wondered about the lads," she said.
He turned to her. "Which lads?"
"The schoolboys who stopped and watched the battle? 'Tis said the MacGregors murdered them outright."
"Some said 'twas Da's half-mad, foster brother who did it, acting alone. Others said the few remaining members of the enemy clan killed them to make the MacGregors look even worse. Either way, the students' murders were not a part of the charges brought against my da and my uncles."
He couldn't sense whether she believed him or not, but he knew his father wouldn't have killed the unarmed youths.
When she didn't respond, he went on. "My father was a fierce warrior, but he was also kind.
Even before he married my mother, he visited me often and gave me things.
He had me come to the castle for sword practice. "
"What was the cause of the battle?" she asked.
"Two MacGregors had been traveling for a long while and were passing through Colquhoun territory in winter.
They were, no doubt, near starving, but the Colquhouns refused them basic hospitality and food.
The two MacGregor men killed a sheep to eat; 'twas either that or starve to death.
Once the Colquhoun chief learned of it, he had the MacGregors arrested and executed.
When my da heard what happened to his two kinsmen, he was furious.
'Twas murder, pure and simple. If the Colquhouns had followed the Highland code of hospitality, none of it would've happened.
'Twas a matter of honor and justice that Da and his garrison marched against them.
'Tis said the Colquhouns and their allies outnumbered the MacGregors and their allies two to one in Glen Fruin.
But Da was intelligent, cunning in battle.
Too smart in dividing his forces, one to meet the attack head on, and the other to circle around and attack from the flank.
Though carrying out the king's orders to suppress us, the Colquhouns were ill prepared, and they underestimated Da.
But the MacGregors should've seen their fate coming, as well.
Though they survived the battle, most of them were executed by the king's order. "
"I'm so sorry. Were you there... during the battle?" Mairiana asked quietly.