Chapter 12 Serafina
SERAFINA
My second day at university is mostly spent in the dorm. More specifically, locked in my room, unpacking and decorating. Considering this is home for the next few months, I may as well make it comfortable.
Besides, after waking at three in the morning rattled by memories of a strange warehouse and Ivan Volkov’s cruel face laughing with bitter breath, being alone and not having to pretend everything is dandy is preferred.
Even if it is alright. Or will be, anyway. The dreams are only occasional, so I know they’ll fade with time. Ideally, as will the memories. Stuff I tell myself to believe.
I leave twice for the dining hall with my loyal follower; well, following.
He sits two tables away, only once getting food for himself.
I nearly offer him to join me but don’t.
Being friends with my security isn’t really the point of university, and when he’s done the job for my brother and leaves, being attached would make it harder to get used to being without.
Amara is strangely absent, and her explanation is basic at best.
I’m fine, but I have to go home for a bit—family drama. Message you in a few days. I hope to return in time for the party. Have fun with classes…and your hot stalker.
Maybe this is more reason to probe into her family. All she’s ever mentioned are their high expectations for her and that they drive her nuts.
After lunch, I video chat with Madre, keeping updates to a minimum. She’s interested in hearing about campus and my room’s décor. She also asks how Lev’s settling in, which I find difficult to answer when realizing I never asked him.
My afternoon call with Zeno informs him all is well, though I’m certain he’s aware through the updates Lev undoubtedly sends him.
My texts with Alessio have been sporadic.
He hasn’t committed to getting together tonight, which would be nice before classes kick off and school keeps me busy.
Once it picks up, if he thinks I can drop anything at any time, that won’t be happening.
Hangouts will only occur when my workload and studies allow it.
All in all, as eager as I was to start this chapter of my life, day two’s been a bit disappointing. No boyfriend, no best friend, just boredom.
By the time evening comes, I park myself in front of the TV for the newest episode of one of my many reality shows.
Beside me, Lev’s tapping on his laptop. I’m starting to think the guy never gets off the damn thing.
I sneak a peek, spotting a map on the screen but not exactly what he’s searching for.
Probably planning his getaway.
“Another one?” He scowls at the show.
“Yes, I have four different shows in circulation right now. Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays.”
“Great,” he mutters in a tone implying it isn’t that at all.
“Not asking you to watch them with me.”
“And what—hide in my room and have you sneak away? I enjoy my life. Fuck knows what your brother would do if you got away.”
I’m about to make a joke about Zeno’s behaviours, but his words strike a deeper wonder, one that isn’t my business. “Do you? Enjoy your life, I mean.”
Lev stares stoically. His finger begins his tapping on the side of his leg.
What are you doing? Why even ask something like that?
“You didn’t know me, but you took a bullet with what seemed like little thought. Then, you agreed to leave behind everything to hang out here. Seems like you’re punishing yourself for something.”
His eyes narrow. The tapping continues, and I should probably shut up.
“Look up the term duty and study the definition.” He slams his laptop closed and pushes it onto the floor before swiftly standing. “I’m going to shower. Do not consider leaving this room.”
“My show,” I remind him, crossing my legs. “I won’t be going anywhere.”
After Lev disappears into the bathroom, stick firmly up his ass, I get the sense it was the wrong thing to say, and immediately, my stomach twists with guilt.
He mentioned something weird yesterday: that he feels like a resource, and my point—which I didn’t manage to get to—was that I never asked him here for his usefulness.
Only the fact that I trust him and feel safer.
And I do. Maybe it’s stupid to feel that way about a near-stranger, but it’s the truth. Lev’s presence isn’t stressful like Zeno’s, or chaotic like Amara’s, or tense like Alessio’s. He’s just…calm. He’s the kind of person I need in my life but haven’t been lucky enough to find.
Amid watching peoples’ survival instincts kick in to win a ton of money, Lev exits the bathroom, sweatpants low on his waist, plus a plain black shirt tight in places still damp from his shower.
Amara often comments about men dressed in sweatpants making everything more obvious…
and now, I get it. I fucking do, because he looks—
I break my stare, returning to my show, my phone, anything but him, to avoid eye-stalking him to his room, where he tosses his dirty clothes. As if seeing him pass the first time wasn’t bad enough, he does it a second time, to reclaim his seat on the opposite end of the couch.
We don’t talk, and once my show finishes, I gather my phone and escape to my room with a muttered, “I’m showering too.”
Inside the bathroom, I try not to picture the person last in here. My shower is quick, and soon, I’m passing Lev without looking his way—especially since I’m a moron who forgot clothes. I’m now only wrapped in a towel, my hair a wet clump down my back.
“Night. Class is at nine tomorrow. Leaving around eight-thirty.”
“Sounds good.”
My bedroom door shuts, letting me breathe for the first time since Lev exited the bathroom. Everything after that’s been half-functioning lungs and a head trying to stay straight.
After drying off and dressing, I slip into bed as my phone vibrates.
<3
Sleep well. Have fun tomorrow. You’ll have to let me know how your first day goes.
Me
For sure. Maybe in person?
<3
I’ll try. If not tomorrow, definitely soon.
Me
Okay. I’ll miss you.
<3
I know. Me too. My absence doesn’t mean I love you any less. You know that, right?
My lungs stop. The words clear across my screen aren’t there, right? Only imagined? But no, they’re there, forever immortalized.
He’s never said that before.
Hell, pretty sure I don’t feel that way. Everything seems too new between us. Our relationship has been limited to the occasional date and texts, since our lives are so different, and if Madre knew the ‘friend’ I hung out with was a boyfriend, she’d lose her mind.
It’s way too soon for the I-Love-Yous. But he said it and is waiting for a response. Do I lie and say I do too? Ignore it entirely and pretend it doesn’t exist?
Thankfully, another message pops up, saving me from responding:
<3
I have to go. Sleep well.
Me
Night.
A deep, appreciative breath helps me shut that text thread and open the one with Amara.
Me
Hope everything’s okay.
After five minutes, there’s still no response, so I plug my cell in for the night, flick off the bedside lamp, and settle in to sleep, waking only for the morning—for my future.
He is taking so fucking long.
It’s like he’s doing it on purpose, the dick. Since when has a man taken this long to get ready?
When Lev finally emerges from his room, he’s in his standard cargo pants and black shirt, only this time with the addition of sunglasses resting on his head. One hand grips his phone, the other a black backpack, which he slips his laptop into before tossing over his shoulder.
“I’m shocked you didn’t take off without me.”
“Almost did,” I grumble. “Also, you don’t look like a student.”
“No?” Perfect brows arch up, and he scans himself. “Tell me what to fix.”
Nothing on him needs to be fixed, per se. If anything, he’ll become the prototype for how every other male should dress.
“Trust me. There’s no fixing this.”
He scowls, clearly taking my comment the wrong way. “Considering I’m older than you and everyone else here, there’s only so much I can do. Deal with it.”
Outside, he falls into his normal pattern of allowing me to lead. I head for the building my first class, Introduction to Biology, is listed as being in. It’s a mandatory course, which means it’ll likely be boring.
Wishing we toured the buildings yesterday to scope them out, I finally find the correct room. Beside it, crisp caffeine wafts from a student-run coffee shop, which taunts me with the fact I skipped breakfast, and thus, coffee.
Zeno keeps my accounts topped with more money than I know how to spend.
Most of the euros the Cosa Nostra brings in are tainted with crime, but that hasn’t stopped me from spending when necessary.
Necessary, because it’s also not something I enjoy tapping into.
Zeno’s the only reason I’m able to afford school, but I’m aiming to limit my spending until getting a job and trying to live how normal students do—without that extra leg up.
So, with those stupid morals, I skip the much-needed coffee and enter the building behind a stream of people.
The day’s barely started, and my backpack, stuffed with my laptop and textbooks for this class and my next, pulls down on my shoulders as I ascend the stairs with a speed people really need to adopt.
Finally, I reach the lecture hall, and everything from the past few months falls into place.
It has about two dozen rows, each one on a new level, putting the top row halfway between me and the ceiling.
People are scattered everywhere in no particular pattern, and until determining if I prefer the back or front of the room, I take the stairs to the midway point, claiming the first seat of the row.
As I settle, Lev passes, his dark gaze emotionless and empty, leaving me to wonder what’s in his head, how much he’s about to regret being here.
He settles in the seat one row behind me. Without looking behind, his laptop flicks open. Whatever secretive shit he does inside the dorm, I doubt he’ll be able to do it here. I’m curious how he’s about to play student.
Day one…