Chapter 21 #2
I didn’t wait for him to respond. I hurried to my room and searched out my bag.
I wanted to laugh at the fact that I still hadn’t managed to do laundry, so I had nothing clean to change into.
But I supposed it didn’t matter if I showed up at the police station in sweats and a T-shirt.
My political career likely wouldn’t survive any of this anyway, so potentially having a picture snapped by reporters in the casual attire seemed pretty irrelevant at this point.
As soon as the story got out that I’d been attacked in my own home, my opponents would make sure the public was wondering what skeletons in my closet had triggered the incident.
The good news was that if I dropped out of the race now, my party could still nominate someone to put on the ballot in my place.
It wasn’t ideal, but they’d still have a chance of running a successful campaign against the Republican candidate.
I waited for the disappointment to hit me as I considered what giving up my career in politics would mean, but surprisingly, all I felt was a lingering curiosity about the whole thing.
Like what my life would have been like as a U.S.
Senator. But along with that feeling came an odd and completely unexpected sense of freedom.
I didn’t even know how to process that.
Before I could give it much thought, I sensed a presence and turned to see Vincent standing in my doorway, his hard eyes on the bag I had in my hand.
“I’m almost ready,” I said as I wondered if I’d been dallying too long. The man hadn’t actually barked out a time limit like he usually did, but the hard set of his jaw was telling me he was pissed just the same.
I turned to head towards the bathroom to grab my toiletries, but just as quickly I was spun back around as Vincent wrapped his hand around my elbow.
“Vincent-”
“Shut up,” he snapped, and then he took the bag from my hand and flung it to the floor. Then his fingers curled around my hand and he led me from the room. I held my tongue as I realized our destination.
His room.
I hated the shimmer of hope that went through me at the prospect of getting to be with him one last time. It was pathetic that I would take even the crumbs he threw my way, but I wasn’t going to try to deny it. Or pretend I was somehow strong enough to say no. Or that I had enough pride left.
Because I didn’t.
I expected him to lead me to the bed, but he surprised me when he shoved me up against the wall next to the door and pinned my arms next to my head. The move hadn’t actually hurt me, but it had caught me off guard.
“Vincent, what-”
“If this thing is going to work, Nathan, you need to stop assuming things and actually stop running long enough to give me time to think…and speak.”
I wanted to laugh at that, because the man had never had an issue with telling me what he thought before.
“You had plenty to say downstairs,” I reminded him.
He eyed me for a moment, and then he released me and dragged me over to the bed. I was on my back beneath his heavy body in one swift move. He ground his very hard cock against mine and I cursed the fabric that was separating us.
“Maybe now you’ll shut the fuck up and listen,” he groused. His lips fell to mine, but he didn’t actually kiss me. “This is the only place you said you’d take orders from me, right, Nate?” he drawled.
I nodded, though he knew very well what kind of orders I’d been talking about. The get naked kind. I thought back to the very inexperienced blow job I’d given him this morning. Maybe I’d get a chance to improve on my earlier score.
“Nathan, focus,” Vincent growled, and I realized I’d dropped my eyes to where our hips were grinding together.
“Stop humping my dick and I will,” I bit back. “Or shut the hell up and just kiss me already.”
He did neither of those things. Just continued to hold me pinned to the bed as he studied me.
“You’re not the only one I don’t want reading too much into what all this means,” he finally admitted. His words were enough to help me focus on what he was saying instead of what his body was doing to mine.
His lips finally brushed over mine and he settled more of his weight down on me. “I knew the second the words left my lips this morning that I wouldn’t be able to do it, Nate.”
“Do what?” I whispered.
“Let you go.”
Heat lanced through my body and my chest felt insanely tight.
“Vincent-”
He kissed me to shut me up again and then he was pressing his forehead against mine. “I can’t want this, Nathan. Do you understand me? Not don’t…can’t.”
I nodded and squeezed my eyes closed because I did understand. “You won’t lose me, Vincent. I promise,” I whispered desperately.
He kissed me again. “Baby, you know it isn’t about making me that promise.”
I wanted to cry because I knew he was right.
And I wanted to curse whoever was hunting him that had taken his ability to choose me away.
I wanted to tell him it wasn’t fair, but he’d had his share of not fair.
His career stolen, his lover lost to him forever, his brother brutally murdered…
I didn’t hold that same station in his life, but maybe I could have.
“Nate, open your eyes.”
I did as he said, and furiously blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall.
But I knew he could tell what I was doing because he shook his head slightly and let out a soft sigh.
Fortunately, he didn’t comment on it. Instead he said, “We’ll go to the rally on Saturday and try to draw the fucker out.
But when you’re safe, Nathan…when this is all over, I need you to promise me you’ll walk away. I need you to do that for me.”
I wanted to rant at him that it wasn’t fair for him to ask that of me.
But the fact that he’d had to make the request in the first place told me where he was at.
And as good as it felt to know he was in this thing as deeply as me, I still cursed the unseen circumstances that were bent on keeping us from figuring this thing out between us.
“Promise,” I said hoarsely.
His lips found mine and he kissed me reverently.
He spent an endless amount of time worshiping my body with his mouth and hands as he plucked my clothes from me piece by piece.
I was boneless when he stood up and pulled his own clothes off.
By the time he slid into me, I was desperate to come, but Vincent tortured me with slow, deep thrusts meant to keep me on the edge.
Only when I was begging him to send me over the edge did he shift his hips so he could hit my gland on every stroke.
As the orgasm crashed over me, he ordered me to keep my eyes on him and I was helpless to do anything else.
But instead of following me over, he began his sensuous torture all over again, and when I came for the second time, he was right there with me.
I couldn’t say how long we lay there trying to catch our breath, but when we were finally forced to move, it was only long enough to take a quick shower where we washed each other, and then he was leading me back to his bed.
As I curled into his side, my eyes fell on the bookshelf opposite the bed.
“Will you tell me about him?” I asked as I ran my hand up and down Vincent’s chest.
Vincent didn’t need to ask who I was talking about. “What do you want to know?” he asked after a few moments.
“The books – they were his?”
I motioned towards the bookshelf with my chin.
“Yes. He started collecting them when we were kids. He had a learning disability that made it hard for him to read, so his teachers suggested his parents find books that really captured his interest. As hard as it was for him, he was always reading. When I would spend the night at his house, we’d lie in his bed and I’d spend hours reading to him. ”
Vincent fell silent for a moment before saying, “When we got kicked out of the army, he started selling some of his older books that were worth money because they were first editions. It broke his heart, but we were desperate for the money. So when I started working again, I began buying them back for him. The look in his eyes every time I brought him another one…”
I pressed a kiss against Vincent’s shoulder when his voice cracked. “It’s okay, you don’t have to go on,” I murmured.
He shook his head. “No, he…he deserves to be remembered more often.” Vincent’s fingers trailed up and down my back as he continued. “Even after he died, I kept buying the books for him. I only have a few more to find. Not sure what I’ll do then.”
The heartbreak in his voice tore at me. I sat up and leaned across him to turn on the light next to the bed. I let my fingers skim over his cheek. “Which one was his favorite?” I asked.
“The Outsiders.”
I glanced at the bookshelf. “Can I read it to you?”
Vincent sucked in a breath and then nodded. I didn’t care that I was naked as I climbed out of the bed and went to the bookshelf.
“Right side, third shelf. All the way to the right,” Vincent said.
I found the book and returned to the bed.
I leaned back against the headboard. Vincent sat up and did the same as I flipped the book open.
I was about to start when he put his hand on my wrist. I watched as he reached over into the second drawer of the nightstand and pulled out a small picture frame.
I knew without needing to ask that the picture was of David.
Vincent handed it to me and I studied the smiling face looking back at me.
He was a beautiful young man with bright green eyes, light blond hair and a wide grin that lit up his entire face.
I couldn’t even fathom the demons that had consumed him.
“That smile,” I said softly.
“Yeah,” Vincent agreed and then he was taking the picture back.
He held it reverently for a moment before standing it up on the nightstand.
He straightened and then nodded at me. As I began reading, Vincent’s fingers curled around my free hand which I had resting in my lap.
When it came time to turn the page, he did it for me.
My heart skipped a beat as I realized how easily I could get used to this.
Except that I’d promised him I wouldn’t.
How the hell was I ever going to be able to keep that promise?