Chapter 5
R en
The sound of a door closing made me jump from the bed.
Shit, I was running late. My ass was already dragging, and I still needed to get in an hour of studying before class.
Myles had started texting at one in the morning and didn’t stop until four.
No matter how many times I said I needed to sleep, he sent another message.
Maybe I should mute his adorable ass, but he’d think something was wrong and come knocking.
Glancing at the closed bathroom door, it was clear I had missed my chance to get in there before Vicky. Yesterday had been a weird ass day all on its own, but adding in the drama with Vicky was like going down a slide covered in diarrhea—a horrible visual first thing in the morning.
I pulled out my uniform and my toiletry bag—I never knew when I would get locked out of my bathroom—and padded down the hall. A couple of girls, looking about as awake as I was, came out and said hi as I walked in. My spirits lifted when I spotted Ivy in front of the mirror, blow-drying her hair.
“You get kicked out, too?”
Ivy laughed. “No, Chantry and I take turns. One week, I get the bathroom for three days, and the following week, two, and so on.”
“See now, why couldn’t Vicky do something like that,” I asked, not expecting a response. The answer was obvious. Vicky was a raging bitch. Ivy rolled her eyes, and I had to agree. “How was your Christmas vacation? It was weird without you around here.”
“It was great, actually. I’m tired today. My plane landed late because of the bad weather. I would’ve come to say hi and that I was back, but I ended up passing out.”
“It’s all good. Sleep would’ve been nice. I’m tired today, too.” I hung up my bag and uniform and then set up the bottles the way I liked before stepping into the stall to strip.
“That wouldn’t have to do with a certain Irishman, would it,” Ivy asked. She’d voiced her mistrust of Myles before she left for break, but I didn’t detect a disapproving tone now.
“Yeah, he’s obsessed with texting me all night long.
I think he’s a vampire,” I said, and Ivy giggled and shut off the hairdryer.
The water was cold, and it made me jump as it hit my bare back.
I preferred the stalls with the changing area attached to the shower, but there were only two, and they were occupied.
“He wuvs you,” Ivy teased, and I rolled my eyes, but the flutter in my chest betrayed how much I liked the idea.
“I’m just the new shiny toy,” I said instead.
“Uh-huh. I don’t think I’ve ever heard another girl say that Myles McCoy was texting them all night long. You’re in a league of your own.”
“Let’s change the subject. Tell me all about your trip to England. I’ve never been,” I said, squirting the shampoo in my hand.
I hadn’t been anywhere until now. I was born and raised in Alberta, on a large piece of property outside of Calgary.
I’d been sheltered in many ways, but I didn’t mind.
Not that I didn’t want to see other parts of the world, I did, but it hadn’t been something I craved to do.
Part of that was probably due to my mum being sick for much of my life.
I smiled and laughed as Ivy chatted about her adventures with her sister, and it made me miss Lizzy that much more. She was another one who loved to text me in the middle of the night. It's too bad I couldn’t switch my whole schedule around, so I didn’t need to sleep when my night owls were awake.
Sticking my arm out of the shower, I fumbled with the hook and then realized I’d forgotten a towel. Shite, as Myles would say.
“Ivy, can you grab me a towel? I forgot to bring one.”
“Sure, I’ll be right back.”
I was drip-drying in the shower when I heard the door open. A voice I didn’t recognize spoke and stopped me before I called out.
“At least you don’t have three classes with Ren Davies,” the girl said. I froze and didn’t dare take a breath. Two girls came into view between the slim crack of the curtain and the shower stall. I didn’t recognize one of the girls, but the other was Sandra. We had calculus together.
“She seems nice,” the girl I didn’t know said.
“Are you kidding me? She’s so stuck up.” Sandra sneered as she talked about me.
“She started a war with Mr. Willis the first day she arrived, and now I’m stuck tutoring for the rest of the year.
My grade is literally tied to idiot Josie.
Unbelievable, and here I thought Canadians were supposed to be nice. ”
“I think you’re being too harsh. I heard a rumor that her mother died just before her father dumped her here at the school. That has to be rough.”
My chest constricted at the mention of my mum. The last couple of weeks had felt almost normal, and I didn’t cry myself to sleep or jump at every noise. But now I felt guilty for feeling anything close to normal when my mum didn’t have another day.
“See, that proves my point. I wouldn’t be surprised if her mother died to get away from her. Her father probably couldn’t stand to be alone with her and pawned her off on the school. Trust me, she’s that insufferable,” Sandra said and then laughed.
“Don’t say that. You don’t know any of that, and you shouldn’t speak of the dead. They’ll make you pay.”
Large tears welled in my eyes, and I pressed a hand over my mouth to keep myself from bursting into sobs as the sadness pressed in on me. I could hear the click of lipstick and then water running, and I just wanted them to get the fuck out.
“Oh my god, when did you get to be so superstitious and a snooze fest? Let’s go. I’m hungry.”
The door opened and closed again, and as soon as I was sure I was alone, I let the tears fall.
My eyes shut, and I placed my hand against the wall for support as images of my mum’s smile filled my mind.
She didn’t know my mum or me. Mum was the sweetest person, and she loved me, but my dad…
. What they said was true, or at least what it felt like.
I was a burden to him, and he had decided he would rather not deal with me.
He hadn’t called over Christmas break and not even a single text.
The only thing that arrived was a generic card wishing me a Merry Christmas.
He could’ve gotten it anywhere. It didn’t even say to my daughter. Was I really a snob?
“Ren?” I was startled at the sound of Ivy’s voice. “Are you okay? You sound like you’re crying.”
“I’ll be okay. Thinking about my mum always makes me sad. It was my….” I stopped as I got choked up, waving at my eyes that wouldn’t stop leaking. “This was my first Christmas without her. It’s just hitting me, is all.”
“Oh, Ren, I’m so sorry. I’m such an inconsiderate friend. I shouldn’t have gone to England,” Ivy said, pushing her hand through the edge of the curtain with two purple towels in her hand.
I took the towels and wiped my face. “Don’t be ridiculous. I didn’t need you to stay here, and besides, getting to go to England was a massive opportunity. I’m happy you went.”
Wrapping myself up in the softness that smelled like flowers, I composed myself and stepped out of the shower.
I gave Ivy a brief smile, quickly looking away from the sad look on her face as I dug around in my bag for underwear.
I’m not sure why I bothered since it had no crotch, thanks to Nash, but they were all I had and I just couldn’t bring myself to go commando.
There was no way I was asking Myles to buy me underwear.
Not only would it be weird as hell for a brand-new relationship, but he’d probably get me a leather G-string with spikes or something.
“Are you sure? You look so sad,” she said.
I smiled at her and knew it wouldn’t reach my eyes, but it was the best I could muster. “I will be. Grief is weird, right?”
The door opened, and Chantry poked her head in, saving me from having to convince Ivy that I was fine. I wasn’t, but I would be.
“Hi,” Chantry said softly, making me smile. “You two ready?”
I looked at myself in the mirror, and other than the redness around my eyes that I could blame on the cold weather, I looked decent. There was no time to dry my hair, so I put it up into a funky twist on my head.
Today was one day closer to leaving this place for good. That was all I needed to keep reminding myself, just like putting one foot in front of the other.