Chapter 39 #2
Nash and I didn’t speak as we drove back to the academy.
Now that Axel was dead, all I wanted was to hold Ren, but I didn’t know if she’d even want me to.
A new dread settled on my chest like a boulder threatening to crush me.
The guard opened the gate when we pulled up, and as soon as we drove onto school property, I couldn’t get upstairs fast enough.
The text from Blake saying they were back from the hospital with nothing broken and no internal bleeding was the only thing that had kept me from slipping so far down the dark rabbit hole that I couldn’t come back.
We wheeled up to the back door, but Nash grabbed my arm before I could hop out. “If the Curators come for us, keep your fucking mouth shut.” My eyes narrowed as I glared at him.
“Ya think I’d actually say anythin’?”
Nash snorted and shook his head. “Why do you always think that I don’t trust you? Fuck, man, check that shit. I mean, I’ll take the fall.”
“Naw, we’re in this together, strength in numbers.”
“That wasn’t a question. I’m ordering you to stand down and walk away,” Nash said, letting go of my arm.
“Why?”
“The why doesn’t matter. Just do what I fucking ask. They knock on your door, point them my way. Got it?”
“Aye, but….”
“Good, then get the fuck out of my car. I have damage control to do tonight.” He looked away from me, and I knew there was no point in arguing with him about it right now.
Stepping out, I held the door open and peered in at Nash. “Sorry about thinking ya were questionin’ me. I…I do trust ya. My heads all fucked up at the moment.”
“Yeah, I know. Now go and remember what I said.”
As soon as the door was closed, he flew around the loop and out the way we came.
I could worry about what he was planning later.
Jogging to the door, I took the stairs three at a time until I got to the senior’s floor and burst out into the hallway.
When I reached into my jeans, I remembered that I’d been in such a rush to kill Axel that I didn’t have my keys on me.
I shot Blake a text and told him I was outside the door. He sent me back an emoji with one eyebrow up and a question mark.
M: Just open the fucking door. I forgot my key.
The second the door was open, I stepped inside and froze when I found Snowflake.
She was lying on her side, curled up in a small ball on my bed.
She wore a yellow hoodie, and I could hardly see her face with it pulled up.
I sucked in a deep breath like my lungs had forgotten what it was like to breathe without the weight.
I didn’t deserve to be with her. What I just did proved that, but the way my heart felt having her in my life was something I wasn’t willing to give up.
It was selfish, but I couldn’t bring myself to care.
“She’s going to be okay.” Blake gripped my shoulder, and I quickly wiped away the lone tear running down my cheek.
“Maybe physically, but I’m worried. Snowflake was already dealing with so much.”
Blake picked up his guitar from my desk and placed it on the stand. “She’s stronger than you’re giving her credit for,” he whispered.
“I know yer right, but seeing her like that and thinkin’ about her fightin’ that piece of trash….” My hand clenched into a fist. Nothing that I did to Axel before he died would ever make up for what he did to her.
“Then stop thinking about it and go to her. She’s been worried since she realized what you were all up to.”
I glared at Blake. “Did ya tell her?”
He rolled his eyes at me. “Like I needed to? She knows you and Nash better than that.” I ran my hand through my hair. Was she going to be okay, knowing I killed Axel? “I’m assuming he’s dead?” I nodded. “What about the school?”
I tore my eyes away from Snowflake’s sleeping form. “Nash said he would deal with it. I don’t know what that means, but he said he doesn’t want us involved.”
“Fuckin’ ass is going to take the hit. I swear Nash doesn’t care if he lives or not.” Blake shook his head, voicing what I’d already been thinking. “We’ll figure it out.” Blake yawned and collapsed on his bed.
Kicking off my shoes, I crawled in next to Ren as gently as I could.
Facing her, but too scared to touch her.
I didn’t want to hurt my Snowflake and definitely didn’t want to scare her now that she was asleep, but I’d no sooner gotten into position when her eyes opened, and my heart stopped.
There were no words to describe what she did to me.
Ren’s complete control over me made zero sense.
But when those silvery eyes locked onto mine, I knew that my heart only beat for her.
What I’d been doing before she came along wasn’t living. It was existing.
“I was worried,” she said.
“Naw, ya never need to worry about me. I’m like a stray cat. I just keep comin’ back,” I whispered, and the corner of her mouth pulled up.
Ren looked away. “Is he gone?”
“Aye. Do you want to know what I did?” I held my breath.
She shook her head. “No.”
“Are ya upset with me for taking the law into my hands?” She lifted her gaze to mine again.
“No. Not sure what that makes me, but no.” We stared at one another, the odd tear slipping from her eye and sliding off her nose. She licked her lips and looked away. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to be together anymore. You didn’t sign up to deal with this,” she said.
I couldn’t hold back and cupped her face, running my thumb over her cheek.
“Snowflake, what are ya even sayin’?” Her bottom lip trembled.
“Did ya sign up for my da to do this?” I pulled up my T-shirt and then pointed to my cock.
I was scared for her to see it with the scars lining it like tiger stripes.
“That’s different.”
“Naw, stop.” I grabbed her hands and brought them to my lips to kiss.
“I love you. That’s not a conditional thing.
Do ya understand?” She nodded but broke down, and I slid over and held her as she buried her head into my chest. She was crazy if she thought I was going to leave her.
Ren gripped the front of my sweatshirt in her fists.
“I got ya, Snowflake. I got ya, and I’m sorry I didn’t make it to ya faster.
I will never forgive myself for that,” I said, kissing the top of her head.
She didn’t say anything but held me tighter.
Once her tears had slowed, I kissed her forehead. “Do you want Blake to join us,” I asked softly, and she nodded. Scooting closer to the edge of the bed, Ren wriggled with me like she was glued to my body, and some of the trepidation eased. “Blake, man, are ya still awake?”
“Yeah.”
“Come join us.”
“You sure?”
“What Snowflake wants, she gets, so get over here,” I said. This was the moment of truth. It was one thing for me to say that I was okay with Blake or anyone else in the relationship, but for it to be literally in my bed….
Blake pulled on a T-shirt as he walked over, and I pointed to the wall side of the bed.
Crawling onto the mattress, he settled on his side before Ren reached back and grabbed his hand, pulling it around her waist like a blanket.
I expected to feel a spark of jealousy, but none stirred.
Sighing, she put her arm around my waist, and within seconds, I felt her body relax as she fell asleep.
I felt Blake staring at me, and when I glanced up at him, his eyes silently asked if I was good. Nodding, I kissed the top of Ren’s head and closed my eyes. I would do anything for her.