Chapter 43 #2
“Maybe, I mean, it’s Nash, but her painting being destroyed on its own would be upsetting without all the other stuff that’s gone on. Man, I’m kicking myself for not forcing her to let me in last night. Maybe I could’ve prevented this.” I ran a hand through my hair as I mentally berated myself.
“Naw, I’m pretty sure she would’ve just knocked ya out and still left.
Hey, Liam, yeah, man, I need yer help to track Ren.
She’s taken off on foot. What do you mean not until the mornin’?
But we can’t leave her out there all night, no man.
What if somethin’ happens? We can get night vision crap from the Army surplus store.
Fuck, fine. I’m going out myself then if yer not going to help. ”
“Myles, don’t you dare go out alone. If I have to hunt your ass down, then it will take time away from finding Ren safely. Think, man, think.” I heard Liam yell.
“I can’t leave her out there all night alone.”
I grabbed Myles’s shoulder. “You said it yourself. Ren is resourceful, strong, and smart. If anyone can strike out and make it to Canada walking cross country, it’s her, but Liam will find her long before that, and we can talk her into coming back.
Listen to him,” I said, as Myles looked like he was ready to run outside and not stop until he found her or died trying.
He growled and stomped away, marching in a small circle.
“Fine, but we are leavin’ at the ass crack of dawn, and if she’s injured, so help me god, someone is gonna pay…
.” Myles hit end on his phone and then sighed.
“I’m not lettin’ ya get away, Snowflake.
I just can’t let ya go,” he said, facing her bed like he was talking to her.
I was just as worried as Myles was, but right now, he didn’t need me adding to his fears by dumping my growing anxiety on top of it. It wasn’t just words. I believed that if anyone could make it, it would be her.
MARCH 7 – TUESDAY 6:03 PM
Ren
I pushed the final peg into the ground and stood back with a smile on my face.
I’d been mapping out the guard rotation, which made it easy to sneak off campus in the early morning hours.
I’d made it a lot further than I thought I would, and now I had a small fire going next to my tent. This was a proud moment for me.
Most people wouldn’t want to be out here in the wild alone, but I loved it.
Every year, I spent two weeks at survival camp, learning how to find water and what foods were safe.
I’d learned how to hunt small game like rabbits and fish with just fishing line and a single hook.
I could remember clearly arguing about going the first year.
It was the year my mum was diagnosed with cancer, but she had said that I needed to get out of the house and do something.
She thought that I would learn a lot. I think she just wanted me in the middle of nowhere so that I couldn’t call or easily come home.
Whatever the reason was, I ended up loving it.
Glancing around at my small campsite, I decided that cooking one of the soups would be best. The night that Myles had taken me shopping, I’d picked up a box of food provisions.
They tasted like crap but were loaded with nutrients, and that was all I needed.
Unclipping the small pot on the outside of my pack, I poured in some of the water I’d already collected and dumped in the instant soup before carefully sliding it into the fire to sit on a rock.
Plunking myself down, I pulled out my phone and stared at the black screen.
I couldn’t turn it on. If I did, I’d see a million messages from Myles and Blake, and my resolve would weaken.
They were the only two reasons that I’d been torn about leaving.
I loved them, and if they really loved me, then we would find a way to make it work.
The thought of them moving on hurt, but I couldn’t let that stop me.
I had it all planned out. I was going to get Lizzy to pick me up in Seattle.
Then, once across the border, I would live with my Aunt Nadia and re-enroll in my old school.
I knew my father hadn’t sold the house. He hadn’t said anything about wanting to, but I’d seen my mum’s will when the lawyer came to speak to us after her death, and her half of the house she left to me.
If he wanted to sell he needed my approval.
Maybe I could rent it out for some money and then I’d eventually move back home.
Once summer break arrived, I could meet up with Myles and Blake if they were speaking to me and had forgiven me for running off.
We could spend all summer together, and then we could finish our senior year and decide what we wanted to do afterward.
This didn’t mean we were over. Right? God, I hoped it didn’t mean that.
I hugged the phone to my chest and prayed that they knew I didn’t want to leave them, just the place.
I wasn’t even sure I could make it through a week without Myles.
He’d become part of me. Blake was getting there, but that slight Irish accent and mischievous smile, as he called me Snowflake, would never leave me.
Even if he told me he wanted to move on and I never saw him again, I knew that I’d still wake up in the morning and hear, ‘Good mornin’, Snowflake. Yer so freakin’ beautiful.’
Wiping away the tear sliding down my cheek, I stuffed the phone back into my pack.
The sun was quickly setting, and it would be dark soon.
I wanted to be curled up in my sleeping bag not long after.
Tomorrow was going to be a get-up early and push-hard day.
I flipped open a front pocket on my backpack and pulled out the small notebook I was using to keep track of how far I’d gone.
Then I made a tiny X of where I’d stopped for the night.
I loved the mile tracker on my wrist, it showed every step and had a compass.
I’d hiked twenty miles, and it didn’t look like I made a dent on the map.
Eight to nine more days if I could keep this pace and the weather stayed decent.
Stuffing my paperwork away, I pulled my soup off the fire and carefully poured it into my cup.
I didn’t have a ton of room in my gear, but I’d managed to steal three apples, four dinner rolls, six protein bars, and one muffin from the cafeteria before I left.
The muffin was more to make me feel like Myles was close, so I promised myself to only eat one mouthful a day until I got home.
An owl hooted in the distance, and I could hear the other nighttime animals beginning to move around.
It was nice to have silence. Taking a deep breath, I took another sip of my soup and let it warm me from the inside.
Out here, I was alone with my demons, but it gave me the time I needed to process all that had happened, and I didn’t have to put on a brave face.
Out here, I was the closest I’d be to my mum until I saw her again.
After putting the fire out, I crawled into my tent, pulling my pack behind me. With everything zipped up tight, I snuggled into my sleeping bag, staring at nothing in the complete darkness. “Goodnight, Myles. Goodnight, Blake,” I whispered, hoping one day soon I’d get to say it in person again.