Chapter 23
23
AINSLEY
A fter the rehearsal dinner, the wedding was quite tame. I showed up, stayed sober, and watched my brother marry Claudia. She didn’t even seem that into it; I’m not sure why I had to pretend to be. But I did, even if it was only for Grayson’s sake. I’m finding that this man can pretty much talk me into anything, and not just things of a sexual nature.
Once we get back to the hotel after the wedding, I’m up half the night. I haven’t done one thing about my wedding, yet here I am worrying about it. I just can’t get over the fact that my dad won’t be there. I tried to talk to him about it at the wedding, but every time I got the chance, my mother pulled him away from me. He just kept giving me a sympathetic smile and told me we’d talk later.I couldn't care less about my mother; Grayson told me what she said. I never realized how jealous she was of me until that comment. Thankfully Grayson knows the truth, because he's all that matters.
At 5:30 in the morning, I can't take it anymore so I get out of bed and head for the couch. Luckily Grayson is out cold so I don't have to explain anything to him.
I grab my phone from the charger and call Bella. As I dial, I’m slightly aware it’s still pretty early in the morning for the girls, even if Chicago is an hour behind Maine.Kylie answers on the second ring. “Ainsley?” I hear the grogginess in her voice, knowing I’ve woke her up.
“My dad's not coming to my wedding,” I blurt out before she can even put Bella on. And then the tears stream down my face. In an effort to contain my sobs so Grayson can’t hear, I end up snorting instead.
“Oh, sweetie. What happened?” she asks, sounding a little more awake.
“Put it on speakerphone,” I hear Bella call out in the background, her voice scratchy as if she was suddenly awoken too. I just need to talk to someone, someone other than Grayson.
“So apparently, I was ‘showing off’ my ring at the rehearsal dinner, and it upset Claudia. And my brother said some shit and Grayson let him have it. Then my mother made up some bullshit to feed Grayson about me being a gold-digging whore and said they weren't coming.” It all comes out in one breath. And once it's all out, the tears start again. “Oh, and did I mention Jordan was there too? Yeah, that was fun,” I blubber through my tears.
Bella is the first to speak. “Okay, all of that sucks. But, let it go, babe. You’re so much better than all of them. And Grayson knows the truth. You must know that.”
“Of course I do,” I confirm, wiping my eyes. And I truly do. It’s amazing how she and Grayson are so much alike sometimes.
“Okay, good. Then wipe those tears, pack up your shit, and come home. We’ll be over for dinner tonight, but seeing as you are in another state, we’ll bring dinner.”
I love how she's so matter-of-fact about everything. All I can do is laugh. “Yeah, okay.” I wipe the last of my tears and chuckle again. “Love you girls. Thanks for talking me off the ledge. See you soon.”
“Love you, too,” they both manage to say at the same time.
“Bye.” I hang up. As much as it sucks that my dad won't be there, I guess I really can’t let it bring me down at this moment, considering I don’t even know when it’s going to be. I have time to change his mind, once we are back home, and I can get in an actual conversation with him. If not, it’s his loss. I have better things to focus on. Like actually planning said wedding. I was never one of those girls who planned out her dream wedding. I never fantasized about Jordan and I getting so far as marriage, and after him, there was never anyone else who got more than a few months of my time so thinking about a wedding and marriage was the furthest thing from my mind.
With Grayson, it’s been so quick, like six months or so, and I wasn’t lying when I told my friends Grayson and I hadn’t discussed marriage. We really hadn’t. His proposal came as a shock to me, not that I have ever regretted saying yes. I know for certain we are meant to be together. It’s the whole “wedding” that has me caught up. I truly don’t have many opinions one way or the other. Some days, I’m ready to just hand off the entire planning to Grayson who clearly has opinions on what he thinks we should have. And every time I’m just about to give in and hand him the reigns, something stops me, but hell if I can explain what it is or have any clue what I want for the wedding. In a way, I’m just glad Grayson has let me get away with ignoring it for so long so far. I have a feeling that’s going to change once we get home.
On the way to the airport, I inform Grayson of the plans for dinner with the girls. He has nothing to say about it, not that it’s a surprise. “Do we really have to go home today?”
“Um, one of us has a job to report to tomorrow. You know, someone has to work to support your lack of income.” He smirks at me. He knows that I know he doesn't have to work. But he actually likes his job so he keeps it.
“Can you take a few days off soon? Like for a real vacation?”
“What do you have in mind?” He keeps his eyes peeled on the road, not bothering to look over at me.
“Somewhere tropical, where there are boats, colorful fish, beaches.”
“You in a bikini,” he drawls.
“That too.” I chuckle. “So can you? Can we?” He’s still focused on the road, but I turn to face him, giving him my best puppy dog eyes. Then I just go for broke. “Grayson, I don't work. There are only so many Netflix shows I can binge watch or books to read. So I get bored and research stuff for our wedding, new recipes, places to visit. In addition to all the porn I watch.” His head whips around at that one. Luckily we are already in a spot to drop the rental car off.
“You do not,” he mumbles, eyes wide, brows furrowed.
I smile and nod my head. “I have to keep up with you. You have quite the browser history when it comes to porn, Gray.”
His eyes go wider. And then he denies it all. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“Yeah, okay. Did someone else use your computer?”
And then he deflects. “What was wrong with your laptop?”
I’m actually surprised he’s giving all this info up. I have no idea what's on his history. But clearly he watches the porn.
“So, yeah. I didn’t know you watched porn, so thanks for confirming that.” I chuckle to myself. And prepare for a verbal attack.
But it doesn’t come; he stays silent instead. After a few minutes, I can't take the silence. “Really, Gray? Nothing? And I finally thought we were over the whole ‘man of few words’ thing.”
He runs his hand through his hair. “I'm impressed, I gotta tell you. And yes, I do watch porn. Got a problem with that. He finally directs his gaze back over to me, although his expression gives nothing away.
“Absolutely not. I would be more shocked if you didn’t.”
He sighs audibly, saying “Come on,” finally making a move to get out of the car. “We have a plane to catch and places to be.”
He gets out of the car and goes around to grab the bags. Today’s flight isn’t nearly as difficult as the one the other day, but I still can’t completely shake the fact that my dad isn’t coming to my wedding. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t upset and disappointed. Clearly I’m having a hard time letting it all go. I guess once he’s home from Chicago, I’ll go over and have dinner and talk with him. It’s the best I can do for now.
When Grayson comes over to open my door, he reaches in and grabs my hand to pull me out. As if he knows I need to be close to him, he wraps me in a tight embrace. “I love you, my girl.”
“You always know when I need something.” I nestle myself into the comfort of his chest.
“I just get lucky you happen to need what I need too,” he tells me, kissing the top of my head. “Let's go hop that plane.”
W hen we arrive home, Bella and Kylie are already at our house with dinner. Grayson takes our bags to our room as I share hugs with the girls.
“Bella invited Caleb and Nat too. Hope that’s okay.” Kylie looks a little unsure.
“The more the merrier, of course. Too bad it’s too cold for a firepit.”
“Well, that’s probably not a good idea anyway.” As she speaks, Kylie looks over to Bella for confirmation to go on. When Bella nods, she continues. “So, Nat may have been a tad bit hungover last night and Caleb wasn’t too happy with her being hungover and when she puked all over herself, he let her have it. He's probably sulking at home and I wouldn’t actually be surprised if they don’t show. Bella already warned both of them not to come if they are just going to argue all night.”
“Ugh, that sucks. Hopefully she feels better and can come for dinner.”
“We’ll see.” Bella joins in the conversation as Gray comes walking back down. He’s changed his clothes and I’m kind of wishing I hadn’t agreed to dinner with our friends. I mean, his sweats are hanging low on his abs, his T-shirt pulled taut on his broad muscles. Licking my lips, I hear Bella clear her throat. Loudly. I reluctantly tear my gaze away from Grayson and over to her.
“You woke me up at the ass crack of dawn this morning. The least you can do is have dinner with us without eye-fucking my brother.” Her tone is serious, serious enough for me to question if she’s kidding or not. Even Grayson’s eyebrows rise as he watches our interactions. “Hell, who am I kidding? Eye-fuck him all you want, but I’m eating dinner.” She makes her way over to the table and starts pulling things out of the bag. Kylie joins her as we hear Natalie and Caleb come in through the front door.
Kylie is right about Caleb. He’s done nothing but snip at Natalie, grunt, and grumble, and he’s been here all of five minutes. Natalie looks miserable. When I hug her, she says, “I'm sorry. I just need some coffee, ibuprofen, and some sleep.”
“It’s okay. It's not like I've never been in your situation before.” I start to laugh but stifle it when she gives me a sad look. She looks like she’s going to cry.
“What's wrong?” I ask, realizing there’s more at play here.
“Not today,” she returns, wiping at her eyes with her sleeves.
“Is everything okay?” When she shakes her head no, I pull her into me and feel her body shake with sobs. “Come with me.” I throw a look over to Grayson and mouth, Be right back . He nods his head. I lead her into the closest room to us, which happens to be the bathroom.
Locking the door behind us, I turn to face her, and order, “Spill, girl.”
She takes a breath. “Caleb and I had a fight yesterday. We both said some nasty things, and he got pissed. I walked out and ended up at the bar. I got more wasted than I ever thought I would.” She stops talking, contemplating whether to say anything else. She lowers her voice as she continues. “I think I may have kissed a guy too. I can't remember.”
I gasp, but if I'm truthful, she doesn't look remorseful. “Are you and Caleb having problems?”
She glances down at the floor. “You can't tell Grayson,” she starts. She keeps her head glued to the floor and lowers her voice, even though it’s only me and her in the bathroom. “There's this guy at work that's been flirting with me. At first, I thought it was just innocent since he knew I was with Caleb. But then he didn't stop, and I eventually stopped telling him to.” She stops and looks at me. Her eyes are wet and definitely a little regretful now.
I hesitate a minute but have to know.“Did you cheat on Caleb?” I hold her gaze, hoping she tells me the truth.
“Not physically,” she tells me, keeping her gaze locked on mine. “But emotionally I did.” And then she looks back down.
I'm more than a little shocked but hopefully I hide it from showing on my face. “Does he know? Is that what your fight was about?”
She nods. “That was part of it.” She pauses and when she raises her head again, a lone tear is slipping down her cheek. “Then we fought about marriage.”
“What about marriage?” I question. But thinking that it really doesn’t matter what the fight was about exactly, I quickly add, “That man loves you. He’ll forgive you. If it's over with that other guy.” Caleb and Grayson are very similar, and they are very forgiving people. “Wait, is he the guy you may have kissed last night?”
She slowly nods. “I so fucked up!” She buries her head in her hands. “I love Caleb. I want to fucking marry him, and I'm flirting with some guy at work. What is wrong with me?”
I don't know how to answer her. I've never experienced this Natalie before.
She lifts her head from her hands. More tears fall down her face. “What would you do?” she whispers.
Not wanting to give a knee-jerk reaction, I think about my answer for a moment. “I would be honest about my feelings. I think you first need to ask yourself why you flirted back. That’s about you, not Caleb.” It comes out a little harsher than I mean it to. But she’s a big girl and can handle it.
“I know you’re right. Thanks for not being judgmental. ”
I have no other words to comfort her right now, so I stay quiet about the subject. “Come on, let’s get back out there and eat some dinner.”
We wash our hands, Natalie freshens up her face as best she can, and we exit the bathroom. Back in the kitchen, I watch as Natalie looks over to Caleb, but he barely acknowledges her. Grayson takes in the same exchange with a perplexed look. “Not now,” I mouth to him.
Grayson has made me a plate of food, and he makes me sit next to him, practically on top of him. As I look around the table at the people gathered here, I know I’ve finally found a place to truly call home.