Chapter 6 #2
What if this was their last time with Noah?
What if they messed this up so badly that they were never invited back?
It was fine if they never topped. They could just keep doing what they were doing, and maybe one day Noah would want more from them, or maybe they just weren’t worth more, and they’d keep having sex the same way, as friends, until the end of the trial, and that would still be a gift, because Noah was a gift, and–
“Asp, look at me, sweetie,” Noah said.
Aspen blinked a few times and found Noah leaning down, their faces only an inch apart as he cupped Aspen’s overheated cheeks.
“Sweetie?” they rasped, because sometimes all they were capable of was a D or possibly even an F-game of communication.
Noah’s lip quirked up in a tiny smile. “I don’t know, it felt right in the moment, and it got your attention at least.”
Aspen scrunched up their brow, and Noah soothed his thumb over the wrinkles in their forehead. “I don’t know if I’m a ‘sweetie.’”
“Alright,” Noah said with a breathless-sounding huff. “The next time you scare me shitless, I’ll come up with a new one, okay?”
Aspen pulled out of his grasp. “How did I scare you shitless?”
Noah scowled as he stood back up to his full height. “I tried to ask you what was wrong, called your name three times, and you were sort of just staring at nothing.”
Oh. Well, damn. That did sound kind of scary.
“Sorry, I…was sort of…” they rolled both hands on their wrists in a “I have no fucking idea” gesture.
“Yeah, I got that. Come on, let’s sit down.”
He led them over to his plush couch, and Aspen climbed into his lap because, as far as they were concerned, until they fucked this up irrevocably, they had a standing invitation to do so. Affirming their belief, Noah wrapped his arms tightly around their waist and kissed them.
They were tempted to sink into the kiss, to let all their worry and any hope at communication float away, but this was too important.
“I’m scared,” they finally said, and Noah’s face settled into a serious expression.
“You’re not going to mess anything up between us if we have a bad time,” Noah said, and Aspen buried their face in his neck.
“What if I…hurt you, or…disappoint you.”
“The only thing that would disappoint me is if you’re only doing this because you think I want to, and you don’t actually want to try it.”
Aspen sat up so fast they nearly cracked Noah across the chin. “I do want to try it!”
Noah studied their face. “Do you think you’re just nervous to try, or are you not ready today?”
Aspen bit their lip and did their best to answer honestly. “I think I’m ready. Just really fucking nervous.”
Noah’s eyes softened, and his lips curved up into one of Aspen’s favorite smiles.
It was just for them, and it held so much of their history.
“It’s okay to be nervous, and to be frank, a lot of first times are awkward and uncomfortable and yes, even painful, but I would never hold any of that against you.
Thankfully, this isn’t my first time, so I think we should be fine on the pain front. ”
He soothed a hand down their back, and they shuddered, pressing impossibly tighter against his chest. “And you really want to do this, too…right?” Aspen asked.
“I’m sure I don’t have to sell it to you, but it can be fun when I do it with someone I trust. And, Asp?” he said, stroking his fingers back through their newly dyed green hair. “You talking to me about your worries makes me trust you even more.”
Aspen grasped two fistfuls of his sweater and pressed their foreheads together. “Okay. I trust you, too, and I believe that this is truly what we both want to do tonight.”
Noah kissed them, and when they opened to his kiss, he turned and pressed them into the sofa as his hands skimmed up the back of their shirt. “If we get halfway in, and you’re not feeling it, we can do something else,” he said between kisses. “I want you in any way I can have you tonight.”
Aspen desperately wanted him, too. Having fully exhausted their list of worries—and any other reasonable way to stall—Aspen allowed Noah to lead them into the bedroom.
They undressed each other, something they didn’t often do, and it was the tiny, eager grin on Noah’s face that finally settled their nerves.
They’d never seen him look so adorable and horny at the same time.
Getting him prepped was, as Aspen had predicted, uncomfortable and awkward at first. Aspen had never touched a back hole before, and it was mildly terrifying.
Noah was slow and patient as he walked them through it.
Once Aspen got the hang of the differences between Noah’s hole and their own, they enjoyed the way their different movements made Noah either sigh or whine in pleasure.
They liked that second one a lot, and by the time they had three fingers inside him, they were starting to enjoy themself.
It felt like they were crossing into a new stage of their arrangement, where Aspen could give pleasure as much as take it.
When it was time for the strap, Aspen had been practicing putting it on and taking it off until they could do it almost as easily as getting dressed.
They used an obscene amount of lube, which made Noah roll his eyes, but that smile was still on his lips, so Aspen figured they were doing the right thing.
The initial entrance felt strange, a different kind of resistance on the dildo than Aspen had experienced with Noah’s hand and mouth.
Then there was Noah’s reaction. His shoulders pulled back under his body, and he arched off the bed, slowly taking in each inch with stilted breaths.
Aspen tried to be as patient as they could, focusing on every twitch of Noah’s lips and clench of his muscles as they bottomed out.
They wanted to buck and thrust and make him scream their name, but that clearly wasn’t how this was going to go.
When they were finally able to move, it became abundantly clear that Blair had been right. Aspen needed a lot of practice on their stroke game. It was surprisingly challenging to move their hips while also holding Noah’s legs open and aiming.
“I used to practice…with music,” Noah panted, as Aspen’s hips stuttered for the fifth time. “Do you want me to put something on with the tempo I like?”
Aspen nodded desperately, sweat dripping down their sides and sticking their hair to their forehead.
Noah made this look easy, but it was anything but.
Thus far, Noah had been nothing but sweet and patient, but Aspen was starting to feel hollowed out, and if they didn’t figure this out soon, they might actually cry.
It felt a little like when they were trying to figure out a math problem in school, and no matter what they did, they just couldn’t seem to get it right.
Their skin felt too small, like they were going to bust out of it.
Noah put on a familiar pop song and began tapping out the beat on Aspen’s thigh. This sort of worked, but what finally got them in the zone was when Noah started stroking his dick. He made these happy little noises in the back of his throat that Aspen wanted to tattoo on their eardrums.
“Feel good?” Aspen asked as their hips finally settled into a pace they could sustain.
Noah moaned and raised his arms above his head, grasping at his headboard with his eyes screwed tightly shut.
He was quite possibly the sexiest, most attractive man Aspen had ever known.
They wanted to lick the corded muscles in his throat and kiss every single rib.
They wanted to spend the next four and a half months memorizing every freckle and mole on his body, hoping that maybe it would be enough to keep him forever.
After several minutes, which Aspen would call some of the most fulfilling sex they’d ever had, Noah instructed Aspen to go harder and gave them a few tips on how to angle their hips every few thrusts.
Aspen followed every direction and understood, with startling clarity, what Noah meant about this not being about their pleasure.
They were focused entirely on getting Noah off.
If they had put the vibrator in their harness, they’d probably be ignoring it, like they were ignoring the slick and sweat accumulating on the straps between their legs.
“Oh, Asp… So good… Thank you,” he moaned after several more minutes.
Aspen lost their rhythm for a second before picking it back up. “You’re so ridiculous. Who says thank you for being fucked?”
“Pretty sure you thanked me when I played with your tits.”
“I was thanking you for naming them!” Aspen said, slamming into Noah and rolling their hips a few times, the way he seemed to like.
Noah brought one hand down and began stroking his dick. His eyes rolled back, and a small smile curled his lips. “Oh…okay, well…you’re welcome then.”
“For getting to fuck you?”
Noah whimpered as Aspen thrust into him with a few quick strokes. “Ahhh…ahh, yes.”
Aspen laughed, and it was as light as the butterfly wings fluttering in their chest. “Okay, babe. Thank you, and you’re welcome, too.”
Noah’s smile was like cotton candy. Sweet and wispy. They wanted to consume it, and consume him, pulling him inside them to rest right next to that happily fluttering butterfly.
“Come for me, babe,” Aspen whispered, and they bottomed out and bent over him, capturing his mouth in a kiss they didn’t release until he cried out one final time.
Noah drifted for a while, as he always did after finishing. Aspen had noticed after their first time together that he seemed to want to be held and caressed after sex. So, Aspen held him in their arms, alternating between drawing patterns on his back and stroking his corn silk hair.
“Are you happier now?” Noah asked, his voice laden with sleep.
Aspen kissed his forehead and went back to drawing an ugly school bus on his back. “I’m definitely not nervous about it anymore. I’d love to do it again, either with the same strap or a different one.”