Chapter 12 #3
“Do you think…this is going to make them sad?” Noah asked, but at Rachel’s furrowed brow and Talia’s blank look, he realized that wasn’t quite the right question. “I mean…do you think I can still make them happy?”
Rachel pursed her lips, but it was Talia who spoke first. “With almost no context about what you’re asking, let me just say this.
I don’t think we can make everyone happy all the time,” she said, hopping back up onto the counter and swinging her red Converse back and forth.
“We weren’t put on this earth to please others.
There are going to be people who have expectations and desires of us that we can’t meet.
That’s not your fault, though. If a person, or people, genuinely love you, they’re just going to be happy that you’re sharing your true self with them. ”
The pink party hat Rachel had on her head bobbed up and down as she nodded.
“I think in your case, sweetie, that applies tenfold to your parents.” Noah grimaced, but Rachel didn’t back down.
She crossed her arms over her chest and fixed him with her most serious look.
“I think that even if you were the most heteronormative person on the planet, your parents still wouldn’t be happy, because their unhappiness has never been about you.
They’re just unhappy with their own lives. ”
That…probably wasn’t terribly far from the truth, but it wasn’t his immediate concern. “I meant—”
“I know you meant Aspen and Charlie, but I thought it was important to say that.” Rachel’s face softened, and she walked across the kitchen to place a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“As far as Aspen is concerned, I know they love you, are probably in love with you, and are going to be thrilled to hear that you’ve learned so much about yourself as your trial comes to an end.
I think they will continue to love you whether you feel romantic, romantic-ish, or platonic love for them, and now you can start to figure out what the next phase of your relationship will look like. I imagine Charlie will feel the same.”
As if in agreement, he felt a twinge next to his heart, as if someone had just strummed their chords in his chest. “So, basically, they’ll be happy with whatever I am, because at least it means I’ve finally figured my shit out?”
Rachel patted him gently on the cheek. “Well, you said it, not me.”
Noah gaped at her, and Talia burst out laughing. Rachel was always so nice! It must really be true if even she agreed.
“Babe?” Aspen called from somewhere deeper in the house.
Rachel quickly handed him back his folder, and he tucked it and the card safely into his backpack. He had just finished zipping it shut when Charlie emerged into the warm kitchen.
“Hi, peanut,” Charlie said, opening his arms, allowing Noah to step into his cold, somewhat wet embrace.
“Hi. Happy Valentine’s Day.”
Aspen appeared on Noah’s other side and wormed their way under his arm. They clung to him like they hadn’t spent the entire afternoon with Leon before parting ways for all of fifteen minutes to get dressed and ten minutes to help Charlie park the car.
“Happy Valentine’s Day to all of us!” Aspen said brightly. “Whatcha got there, Talia?”
Noah squeezed Aspen’s shoulders before releasing them to go help Talia mix an alarming amount of booze into the pitcher.
“It’s good to see you, Rachel,” Charlie said, tipping his head towards her, all the while still keeping a solid arm around Noah’s back.
Rachel came over and exchanged pleasantries with Charlie, and within a few minutes, she was inquiring about Princess.
Noah couldn’t help but smile, and he kept smiling the entire night, through several glasses of the many different bottles of rosé, listening to some surprisingly decent love song karaoke, and playing a rather violent game of ‘musical hearts.’ Noah watched from the sidelines, but Aspen seemed to have an amazing time.
They even somehow managed to convince the entire room that it was a tie when they landed on Rachel’s lap on the final cushion.
Charlie wasn’t a social butterfly by any stretch of the imagination, but as all of the hands on Blair’s very sapphic-looking geode clock approached the 12, he seemed to have befriended Rachel and was joking with Talia.
When Noah accidentally locked eyes with Talia, she shot him two thumbs up, and he nearly choked on his final few sips of wine.
“You okay, babe?” Aspen asked, clapping him on the back, and using the gesture as an excuse to grip his shoulder and then slide into his lap.
Noah obediently wrapped his arms around their waist and kissed the warm crest of their cheekbone.
Their face always flushed when they got drunk, and they’d had several cups of the “love potion” they’d made with Talia.
“I’m fine, just–” he interrupted himself with a yawn, and Aspen tried to stick their fingers in his mouth. Noah pushed away their hand, and when they tried to do it again, he captured their wrist and held their hand in his lap.
“Tired?” Aspen asked innocently, batting their sparkly lashes up at him.
At some point in the night, someone had gotten into the craft supplies, and Aspen had pink and red glitter all over them. The last time Noah had been near Charlie, he’d noticed hints of glitter in his beard as well.
“I’m a little tired, yeah, but it’s a Saturday, so I don’t want to cut anyone’s night short.”
“I wouldn’t mind getting out of here,” Aspen said, their voice dropping to a sultry whisper.
Noah nuzzled his nose into Aspen’s bubblegum pink hair. “I think we’ve all had a fair amount to drink. I don’t think we’ll be getting up to too much tonight.”
“Maybe not anything sexy, but the night is still young. I’m sure we can get up to something.”
Aspen smacked a loud kiss on his lips before waving at Charlie. He tilted his head in question, and Aspen gestured at the door with their thumb. Charlie’s dimples were visible, even from across the room, and he turned to presumably wish Rachel and Talia a goodnight.
They got up and gathered their things, wishing everyone a Happy Valentine’s Day and thanking all the roommates for hosting.
It was quite grotesque out, and even though Charlie’s car could probably handle it, they opted to walk back.
Charlie had two umbrellas in his trunk, and he took one, and Noah took the other.
Aspen spent the walk pinballing back and forth between them, regaling them with all the latest gossip they’d gathered at the party.
Noah didn’t absorb most of it, too busy trying to keep Aspen from slipping on the icy ground, but he did pick up that apparently Rachel had begun dating her former next-door neighbor.
As far as Aspen knew, it didn’t change their arrangement in the slightest, but Noah added it to his mental to-do list of things to figure out.
“Oh! And I can’t believe I completely forgot to tell you both, but I might be making a breakthrough for the shelter!
” Aspen said, clinging to both Noah’s and Charlie’s arms so they were forced to walk practically on top of each other.
Charlie’s umbrella smacked into Noah’s, and a sheet of icy rain cascaded off the umbrella, narrowly missing Noah.
They were close enough to their building that Noah opted to close the umbrella and crowd in with Aspen under Charlie’s. Charlie took this in stride, extending his arm out to wrap around Aspen and rest his hand solidly on the back of Noah’s neck.
“What’s the breakthrough?” Noah asked, once it seemed like none of them were in danger of getting rained on.
“I don’t want to jinx it,” Aspen said, slotting their hand into Noah’s back pocket. “But Susie wants to meet with me first thing Monday morning!”
“That sounds promising,” Noah said.
“I really appreciate it, pumpkin. You’ve been such a big help.”
Aspen bounced on their toes the rest of the way, and when they got to their floor, they shouted, “I’ll be right back!” before skipping down the hall to their apartment.
Noah led Charlie to his place and set a pot to boil to make them all some of Aspen’s leftover peppermint hot chocolate from Christmas. He figured since it was pink, it would pass the Valentine’s Day vibe check.
“Do you think they’re going to come back with gifts for us even though we all swore we weren’t doing gifts?” Charlie asked as he pulled out two envelopes from his back pocket. “Because I sort of hope they do, so I don’t have to feel bad about this.”
With a laugh, Noah pulled out first the folder and then the card. Charlie pursed his lips at the folder but didn’t comment.
Noah had just finished pouring milk into the final cup when Aspen burst into the apartment. They had changed into Valentine's Day pajamas and were holding two packages wrapped in fabric identical to the pants they were wearing.
“Surprise! I got us all Valentine's PJs!” they said, waving the two packages in the air as they joined Charlie and Noah at the kitchen island.
Aspen looked absolutely adorable in their pair, and the thought of Charlie looking all soft and snuggly made Noah’s cheeks heat up. Aspen took this in with a small smile, but their face dropped when they looked at Charlie. His expression was pinched, almost as if in pain.
“Are you…mad? Cause we said we weren’t doing gifts?” Aspen asked.
Charlie’s hand slid into his pocket, probably finding his worry stone.
He stared at the packages in Aspen’s hand for a moment before finally shaking his head.
“No, I…sorry. I’m not mad, pumpkin. That’s really sweet of you, actually.
I was just remembering how one of my earlier foster moms used to buy us all matching pajamas for the holidays–not because she cared, but because she liked to send out Christmas Cards to all her business associates of what a ‘happy family’ we were. ”