Chapter 5 #2
"Daniel, I'm freaking out. I have this gala event tomorrow and I don't think I can do it.
What if I make a mistake again and embarrass myself and my family?
" Harald's text reads, the words practically vibrating with his anxiety even through the screen.
My heart clenches in sympathy, remembering how he described the last event and the mistake he'd made.
I want nothing more than to wrap my arms around him and tell him it'll be okay, that he's stronger than he realizes.
I quickly type back a response, hoping my words can provide some measure of comfort and support, even from an ocean away.
"Hey silly, take a deep breath. You've got this, Harald. I know it's scary, but you're going to be great. "
Harald's response comes a few moments later.
"I just keep thinking about the last event.
I completely blanked on my speech and said the wrong thing.
Everyone was staring at me, judging me. I felt like such a failure.
The press will probably have a field day with this too, they always do. I can already imagine the headlines..."
That sensation hits close to home for me. I've definitely been through times when I disappointed both others and myself. Though I'll admit, dealing with reporters isn't something I've ever faced.
"I get it, trust me. But that was one mistake. It doesn't define you. You're smart, sexy, capable, and you care about these causes. That's what people will see when you speak from the heart."
We continue messaging back and forth, with Harald listing off his various anxieties about the event. From worrying about tripping on stage to forgetting his lines, he seems to have thought of every possible worst-case scenario.
But with each fear he shares, I counter with a reassurance. I remind him of his strengths, his compassion, and his ability to connect with people. I tell him that even if he stumbles, what matters most is that he's trying his best to make a difference in the world.
As our conversation winds down, Harald seems to have calmed down a bit. "Thank you, Daniel. I don't know what I'd do without you. Talking to you always seems to make me feel better."
I smile at my phone, feeling a warmth spread through my chest. "Anytime, Harald. Now go get some rest. You've got a big day ahead of you, and I know you're going to crush it."
My phone chimes one more time, and my cheeks flush as I read Harald's latest message. "So on another note, you think I'm sexy, huh? ??"
I stare at my phone, my mouth suddenly dry as I try to formulate a response. Did I really call him sexy in my pep talk? I scroll back up through our conversation and sure enough, there it is in black and white. "You're smart, sexy, capable..."
I groan, burying my face in my hands. I can't believe I let that slip out. It's not that I don't find Harald attractive - quite the opposite actually. But we've never really flirted like this before. Our conversations have always been strictly in the friend zone.
My mind races as I try to figure out how to respond. Do I play it off as a joke? Pretend it was a typo? Or do I lean into it and flirt back?
After a few moments of internal debate and sheer panic, I decide to go with a lighthearted approach. "Ha ha, very funny," I type back. "I think someone needs to go to bed before they get too cocky. Wouldn't want that ego of yours getting any bigger ??"
I hit send before I can second guess myself, my heart pounding in my chest. I'm not used to this kind of playful banter with Harald, but I have to admit, it's kind of thrilling.
I don't think I've felt my heart beat this fast since I was with Alex, and that realization both excites and terrifies me.
After everything that happened with my ex, I swore I wouldn't let myself get caught up in these butterflies-in-the-stomach feelings again.
Yet here I am, grinning at my phone screen like a lovesick teenager.
A few seconds later, his response pops up on my screen. "Oh, I'm definitely cocky now. But you're right, I should probably get some beauty sleep. Gotta look my best for all of the adoring public tomorrow ?? Night, Daniel. And thanks again for everything."
I can't help but grin at his message, shaking my head in amusement. "Goodnight, you dork. Sweet dreams," I reply, adding a kissy face emoji for good measure.
My heart does a little flip as I hit send, and I can't help but wonder if maybe I'm being too forward.
But something about Harald just makes me want to let my guard down, even though every rational part of my brain is screaming at me to be careful.
I set my phone on my nightstand, still smiling like an idiot in the darkness of my bedroom.
Who would have thought a simple slip of the tongue could lead to such a fun, flirty exchange?
I close my eyes, replaying our conversation in my head. For the first time in a long time, I feel a flutter of excitement in my chest - a hint of possibility that maybe, just maybe, there could be something more than friendship between Harald and me.
But for now, I push those thoughts aside, content to bask in the warm glow of our playful banter. Tomorrow is a new day, and who knows what it might bring?