Chapter 8
CHAPTER 8
S uzi jerked awake when her world shifted left. She gripped the soft leather armrest on her right to keep from falling. Why was she in a car?
“Sorry about that. Clementine Montgomery’s bull charged the car again. Remind me to call Ezra. That woman’s menagerie is a menace.”
“Where are we going?” she croaked out. She was so thirsty she might even be willing to drink water.
“My house,” Deke said.
Short and to the point. He must really be mad at her. She raked her bottom lip with her teeth. She hated it when people were mad at her. And she really hated when Deke was mad at her.
Of course, this time, it was totally deserved. He’d tried to tell her the information Rickson had sent her was dangerous. She hadn’t listened. Why didn’t she ever listen? It was like something inside her swelled up and screamed, “I can do it myself!”
She’d have to face Deke’s wrath soon enough. Right now, she wanted to melt into her leather seat. It was the softest, dreamiest leather she’d ever felt.
And it wasn’t just the seats. She’d never in her life been in a car like Deke’s. It wouldn’t surprise her if he could launch rockets for NASA from the back seat. It was huge. A wet bar like the pictures she’d seen of limousines extended down one side. A television as big as the one in her living room was centered behind the front seats. Deke said no bullets on earth could penetrate the plating on the sides, and even if they ran over a bomb, it couldn’t penetrate the floor. No wonder he got sent to guard so many rich and famous people.
The minute she’d heard his voice earlier, she knew everything would be all right. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her. A shiver raced through her at the memory of how he’d taken control. She shivered at the thought, and not in a bad way. What would it be like to have Deke guard her all the time? It seemed she was about to find out.
He had handled her like she was made of glass, talking to her softly and telling her he had her and he’d keep her safe. She’d leaped into his arms without a second thought, and he’d caught her, just like she knew he would. Even with everything they’d been through, maybe because of what they’d been through and how he’d handled it, she trusted him.
He'd carried her to safety, and now he was taking her to his house. She didn’t know what his house looked like, but she wouldn’t be surprised if it were a castle with a moat and dragon. He was bigger than life, and she didn’t mean physically. Nothing got to him. He stayed in control and knew what to do in every situation.
“How are you feeling, Rosebud?” His eyes were filled with concern and something else. Wait, that couldn’t be guilt, could it?
“I started feeling better as soon as I saw you,” she said.
He grimaced. “You shouldn’t have had to call me. You know what happened was my fault, right?”
Was he crazy? “How can you say that? You saved me!”
“I shouldn’t have left. You wouldn’t have needed saving if I’d been there in the first place. I didn’t count on the Warriors finding out you had those files so soon, but I should have. I was the one who was supposed to keep you safe, and I let you down.”
Oh no. No, no, no, no. She couldn’t let him take the blame for something that was clearly her fault.
“That’s not true. I shouldn’t have been there either. I should have listened to you and given you the files when you asked for them, or at least a copy.”
“Maybe,” he agreed, “but that wouldn’t have stopped them from breaking in and ransacking it looking for them.” He gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles bleached white. “Are you feeling more settled now? I have something I want to talk to you about, but it can wait if you are too upset.”
She might be if she weren’t with him. But he had a way of settling her in a way no one had ever done before. “I’m not too upset. What do you want to talk about?”
“Why didn’t you answer your phone this morning when I called you? We discussed how important it is that you keep your phone charged and with you just yesterday.”
Suzi immediately reached for her phone. “You didn’t call me,” she assured him as she started scrolling through her call log. “Wait. Did you call me at five o’clock this morning? I think we should talk about phone etiquette.”
“Yes. And the only phone etiquette we’ll be discussing is answering your phone when it rings, little girl. And if you tell me you had the ringer turned off again, I’m pulling over and spanking your butt right now.”
Her pussy spasmed at his threat. “I didn’t turn it off. I promise,” she assured him.
“I drove all the way out to your house at five o’clock this morning.”
Oh dear. She knew that tone. That was his “I talk, you listen” tone of voice.
At least he’d waited to start lecturing her until after she’d stopped shaking. Those crazy bikers breaking into her office was the scariest thing she’d ever experienced. And that included almost being hit with a stray bullet last October at the drug deal that Sabre had stopped.
She hadn’t heard her phone ring at five that morning, which said something about how tired she was. She’d practically been using it for a pillow. “Why were you at my house at five o’clock in the morning?”
“Because that’s where you told me you were going to be.”
She scrunched her nose. She was usually better at sidetracking people when they questioned her. Given the morning she’d had, it wasn’t surprising. “Oh,” she said.
“Yeah, oh. You lied to me about where you were. I can’t keep you safe if I don’t know where you are.”
“But–” She tried to interrupt, but he kept going.
“Do you have any idea how dangerous that was? What if the Warriors had been coming after you instead of looking for the files? They could have kidnapped you or hurt you. Or worse. We would all be looking in the wrong place because you lied about where you were. I think we already covered how I feel about lying, but just in case you’ve forgotten, let me remind you. I hate lies. Your first rule is no lying to me. Ever. I will bust your backside every time.
Her bottom and pussy clenched in twin motions. Was she nervous or turned on? Both, she decided. She was definitely both.
“You can’t—wait, what?” They had talked about rules before, but he made it sound like this was different.
Deke glanced at her, and she couldn’t help but notice his grip on the steering wheel continued to tighten. He was going to break his pretty car if he wasn’t careful. That didn’t bode well for her.
“You texted me just after midnight to say you were on the way home.” The growling tone of his voice made another shiver dance down her spine, only to turn into tingling when it settled between her thighs.
She needed to come up with a reasonable explanation, and fast. “Well, yes, but–”
“And did you go home?”
Her tummy flipped, which made sense, but the need to squeeze her thighs together was harder to explain. She didn’t like disappointing people, especially him. “I mean, well, not exactly,” she said, focusing on keeping her lips from trembling. “I didn’t think you’d really care. I mean, as my Training Daddy, I guess, but not truly, deep down care like a real Daddy would. I thought you wanted to just be friends and help me get in touch with my Little. Isn’t that right?”
“I don’t want to be your friend, Rosebud. I only said that so that I could stay close to you.”
A stabbing flash of pain pierced her chest. He couldn’t have hurt her more if he’d slapped her. It wasn’t like she didn’t know, but now he’d taken away all hope of more. Yeah, she’d been fooling herself. It was something she was good at. No one as experienced and handsome as Deke would be interested in someone like her. Someone who wasn’t even really a Little.
He studied her like she was a bug under a microscope. Something that passed as confusion crossed his expression, though she had no idea why. She’d understood his words well enough. Surely he did, since he was the one saying them.
He shook his head. “Wait a minute. I didn’t mean that like it sounded. I meant I don’t want to be just your friend. I am so damn thrilled you let me back in your life. Let me start over. I want to be so much more than friends, babygirl. And you should know, Rosebud, I always get what I want.”
She opened her mouth to speak but then drew a blank on what to say, so settled for pressing her lips together. The hope that she’d lost seconds before sprang back to life.
“But you said… I thought you… I don’t understand. You want to be more than friends? I thought you were only keeping close to me because you’re taking over as my Training Daddy to help me learn how to be Little.”
“Oh, I’m taking over all right, but I’m not going to be your Training Daddy.”
What the heck? He needed to make up his mind. Did he want to be in her life as a Daddy or not? “Oh, well, okay then. I, um…”
He interrupted her before she could let him off the hook. Again.
“I’m fucking this up. I’m not a damn Training Daddy. Your Little isn’t a puppy. She doesn’t need training. She needs trust. We’ll be working on making your Little comfortable, Rosebud. I want her to spend time with me. All the time she wants. I want all of you.”
The relief that swept through her didn’t slow, even when he added, “But I’m still going to bust your ass. You know better than to lie to Daddy.”
“I thought I was taking up too much of your time. That you thought telling me you’d help me was a mistake.”
“I can see we have work to do in the area of communication. For the future, I don’t ever say anything I don’t really mean. You don’t have to guess. I wanted to do what I thought you needed me to do.”
She grinned. The weight pressing down on her lightened even more. “So, you’re saying it wasn’t just me. That we’ve both been enjoying the time we’ve been spending together.”
“I think you said that perfectly, Rosebud. The months we weren’t talking were miserable. I like spending time with you.”
He liked being with her? His words were a soothing balm to the bruises that Don had left behind. She grinned. If he hadn’t fastened her seatbelt on so tight, she’d be floating around the car. But he wasn’t finished.
“What I’m trying to say is the most important thing I’ve ever said to you is I want to be your Daddy, sweet girl. We can take it as slow as you need for you and your Little to feel safe. Would you be open to that?”
Would she be open to that? The question made her stop and think. What if he was wrong? What if she didn’t have a Little at all? He seemed very sure. Did she dare take the chance? At least the way she was now, she could cling to the hope of one day having a Daddy. If he tried and failed to find her Little, that would be the end of everything.
She had a choice. She could be brave, or she could be lonely. She knew what loneliness was like. She’d lived with that her entire life. But in the past, even in her loneliness, she’d had hope. If she trusted Deke and he couldn’t find her Little, she would lose hope. That would be much, much worse.
But what if he could reach the Little he believed she had deep inside her? Then she could have everything she’d ever wanted. She would have a Daddy to take care of her, that she could take care of, too. Was life without that really the life she wanted to live if she didn’t have to?
No. For the life she’d always dreamed of, she could be brave. But he had to promise her one thing first because she couldn’t take it if her happiness came at the expense of someone else’s. She already knew Deke was a Daddy. She couldn’t ask him to give that up. She wouldn’t do that.
She turned to watch him so she could read his face. “I would like that very much. But if I don’t ever get to the point where my Little is comfortable, or if it turns out she’s not really there, you have to promise you won’t stay with me just because you feel sorry for me. I want you to be happy, too.”
Deke smiled. “It may be hard for you to believe, little one, but of all the hurdles we have to overcome, that is the one I am worried about the least. I like big girl you, too. If you were to find you didn’t have a Little, I would never leave big girl Suzi. Both of you are amazing. The idea that Little Suzi isn’t there doesn’t worry me, though. I’ve told you before. I see her peeking out at me through your eyes. One day, I promise she will come out and introduce herself to me.”
How did he always know what to say? If anyone could help her find her Little, she knew it would be Deke.
“That’s good,” she said. “I hope you’re right. I hope she’s really there.”
He placed a warm hand on her thigh. “Let me assure you, Rosebud, she’s there. She waves at me when you smile. You just wait. Soon, she’ll be out all the time.”
She couldn’t help but believe him. His faith was contagious. With his help, she would be the best Little in the whole world.
Deke
His words seemed to satisfy her. She was practically glowing. She’d tucked her hands underneath her legs and swung her feet as she stared out her window. He wanted to pull her to him and kiss her silly. But first, he needed to get her settled in her new home. At least, he hoped she would consider it her home one day soon.
He knew he was moving fast, but he needed to get her set up in his house to keep her safe. The thought of her staying alone on her uncle’s ranch gave him nightmares. Anyone could get to her there. She could be in trouble, and he wouldn’t even know. No one would know until she didn’t show up for work.
No, he needed her in his home in Arcadian Hills. First, it was a gated community, so it was safer. His house was fitted with a state-of-the-art security and alarm system. No one could get inside without his knowledge and permission.
Add to that the fact his subdivision had been designed for people in the DDlg lifestyle. There were activities and events going on almost every week. He and his brothers all had homes there, and several of the Musketiaras already lived there.
She’d stopped talking when they pulled through the gates.
He couldn’t see her face, so he didn’t know if her silence was a good or bad thing.
When they arrived at his house, one look at her face told him his girl liked it, too. “Come on, Rosebud. Let’s get you inside.”
She continued to stare through the windshield. He’d never been one to care about the price of something. He knew what he liked, and that’s what he bought. If he had to wait a while to afford it, that was fine.
She jumped when he opened her door.
“I’ve looked at your house so many times from Breezy’s window,” she said. “I never thought I’d ever see the inside.”
“I always watch for you when Breezy mentioned the Musketiaras are coming over. The months that you did come over almost killed me. I felt so damn guilty that you couldn’t enjoy your time with your friends. I’m glad that’s behind us now.”
A shy smile warmed her face. “Me, too.”
It was all he could do to stop himself from carrying her over the threshold. He had to remind himself to go slow. She was so young, and all of this was new to her. He should let her find someone her own age to learn and grow together, but the time when he’d been capable of that was gone.
Taking her by the hand, he led her through the house to the lanai built onto the back side of his house. Since he’d picked a lot at the top of a hill, the views of the surrounding mountains were breathtaking. He sat down on the sofa and pulled her onto his lap.
“Look at me, Rosebud,” he said and waited for her to comply. “I want to go back to what we were talking about before. There will be rules for you to follow. I don’t have many, but the ones I have are important. If you don’t follow them, there will be consequences. Do you remember what I said about lying?”
She nodded. “You said lying won’t be tolerated.”
“That’s right. I’d like to know why you weren't honest about going back to your house last night. Just so we’re clear, if that happens in the future, you will be sitting on a hot, sore bottom.”
It was hard to decide which was cuter, her wide eyes or the even wider circle her lips formed. “No, you don’t understand. I only did that because I was looking out for you.”
“Let me get this straight. Didn’t lie to me. You lied for me?” he asked. When she gave a relieved nod of her head, he added, “And how do you suppose not being honest was looking out for me?”
She looked at his feet before she answered. And his left ear. And her fingernails. She looked pretty much anywhere except his eyes. He fought to keep his lips from twitching. Life with his Little girl was going to be a lot of fun.
“I wanted to make you feel better,” she said. “You would have tried to make me go home for real if I hadn’t. Even though we both know I’d be perfectly safe at my office. Then you would’ve been all stressed out on your job and not been able to concentrate. Someone could have gotten hurt, and that would have made you feel guilty. I wouldn’t want that. So, I looked out for you by telling you what you wanted to hear.”
He needed to stop her before she dug that hole she was standing in any deeper. “First of all, it is absolutely not safe for you to be there alone at night. You will not be doing that again. I understand there may be a rare exception, but in the future, you will be closing shop and leaving work by six in the evening. Are we clear?”
“Six o’clock? There’s no way I’ll be done by six. I can’t even focus on what I have to get done until everyone else goes home. Six o’clock is when I get started.”
“I believe what you meant to say is six is when you used to get started. Now it’s when you finish. If you don’t take breaks from that place to get some rest, apart from the danger of your being there at night, your health will suffer, and so will the paper.”
“Deke! That’s not fair.”
“That’s not what you call me anymore, is it, babygirl? Who am I now?” When he held her gaze and raised one brow, she ducked her head. He still didn’t miss her smile.
“Daddy,” she said. “I meant to say Daddy.”
“Damn straight,” he growled before capturing her lips with his own.
He needed to know if the memory of her soft, luscious lips was true or exaggerated by his desire to have her as his Little girl. The first time he’d kissed her, he’d been gentle, wooing her into relaxing her walls. This time, he didn’t have the restraint. He took her lips, demanding and passionate. He wanted her to have no doubt who was in charge.
His lips explored hers, sampling the sweet taste of her. He nipped her bottom lip, and when she gasped, he took the kiss deeper, his tongue exploring and learning her mouth. She needed to know who was in control of her passions from the start.
At least that was the plan, but when she melted into him and returned his kiss with a fire that matched his own, his control almost snapped. A craving to taste every inch of her pulsed through his body, settling in his swollen cock.
He had to stop while he still had the presence of mind to do so. He had started out intent on showing her who was in control, but now he was no longer sure it was him.
Reluctantly, he broke the kiss and rested his forehead on hers. “Say my name again, Rosebud.” His voice was husky with desire.
“Daddy,” she answered immediately. “Your name is Daddy.”
Finally. Fucking finally. Hearing her call him Daddy was worth the wait. She could talk all she wanted about him having the ability to leave if her Little didn’t appear. Although she didn’t believe it yet, he’d never be leaving her again.