Chapter 15 #2
A comfortable silence stretched between them.
Her fingers traced patterns on his skin, relishing the solid thumping of his heart, while he continued dragging her hair over his mouth and along his cheek.
The hand that had been stroking her breast merely held it now in a way that wasn’t sexual yet was more intimate somehow.
She was bobbing along in a stream of dreamy thoughts when he next spoke. “Angie, I am so, so sorry I treated you the way I did. If I could go back, I would, and I’d set everything right.”
She needed a moment to gather her thoughts—and her breath. “What would you have done differently?”
He expelled a massive exhale. “First of all, I’d have woken you up so I could at least kiss you good-bye.
Then I would have called you when I got there.
To find out how you were doing back home and let you know I was okay and to share the crazy excitement of it all.
And that first time I got sent down, when I had to clear waivers and I was destroyed by the experience and nervous as hell, I would have called you because I know you would have been in my corner.
You always were. What I’m trying to say is, I would have shared the highs and the lows with you.
As it was, I had my dad, but I only wanted to tell him the good stuff because he was still dealing with depression after Mom’s death.
And Joe, well, he was just a punky kid who only cared about me getting autographs for him.
” She could hear a sad smile in his voice.
“And you know what else I would have done?”
She shook her head, grateful she didn’t have to utter a word.
“I would have asked you to come live with me.”
What?
Utterly gobsmacked, she spluttered, “But we were kids who didn’t know each other.”
He craned his head, and one side of his mouth curled up in a wry smile.
“Seriously, Ange? Being friends and neighbors for four years doesn’t count for anything?
And being twenty is hardly being a kid.” He lowered his voice to a sexy growl.
“As far as knowing each other, that one night told me everything I needed to know about us being compatible in bed. So yeah, I’m pretty confident I had plenty of empirical data to go by.
” His tone shifted, and something akin to regret shot through it.
“I just never acted. Never considered acting, to be honest, because it would have been selfish and unfair as hell. And nothing says you would have agreed anyway.”
Would she have agreed? Yes, Past Angie shouted in her head. She had been young and unguarded, and she’d been blinded by all the stardust in her eyes when it came to Sam back then. All he would have had to do was give a jerk of his chin in a come-on gesture, and she would have followed him anywhere.
A beat later, she recovered her voice. “How would asking me be selfish or unfair?”
“I’d be asking you to bounce around with me. Never knowing how long you were going to stay in one place. Here today with friends and a job and roots, yanked out tomorrow because I got traded or someone picked me up off the waiver wire. There’s a lot of uncertainly when it comes to this lifestyle.”
Hoisting herself onto an elbow, she looked down at his handsome face. “When it comes to where you live, maybe, but that’s temporary. The part that is certain is that we would have been together.”
Surprise danced in his navy blues. “You would have signed up for a nomad’s life?”
“If that’s what you want to call it. It depends on what your definition of home is, Sam. Wherever you would have been would have been my home because you would have been my home.”
“How come when you say it out loud, it sounds so … simple? Reasonable, even?” His eyes slanted down, lending him a sad look.
“What are you thinking?” she ventured, undecided if she wanted to hear his answer.
He traced his forefinger along her jaw line, and his eyes followed the path.
“I don’t know. I guess the fact that we’re lying here talking in coulda-woulda language makes my head hurt a little.
” He rubbed his sternum. “It all sounds so … final. Like there’s no chance of ever going back and starting over again. ”
Angie was going without filters now. “Do you want to go back and start again?”
His lips quirked, but he didn’t answer. Did that mean, “Hey, the sex is great, but long-term isn’t for me”?
She settled back against him, unsure whether she was comforted or disturbed by the surprising exchange.
Pulling her to him, he dropped a kiss on her head. “Angie,” he whispered, “has it ever occurred to you that there’s some kind of fate thing at work here? Like me showing up at your work and you becoming my therapist is no coincidence?”
She sat fully upright and clutched the covers to her chest. “What does that mean?”
He waved two fingers between them. “What if it was supposed to be you and me all along, and Brianna was a detour that never should have happened? What if we were supposed to get together, and this is a second chance? Another bite at the apple?”