Chapter Seven Taryn
The Fourth of July was the big holiday in my hometown when people held class reunions and everyone came back to celebrate and see each other. Even though my class had only graduated three years before and Danny’s four years ago, there was a surprising number of our classmates in town, especially with the holiday falling on a Thursday. Danny sat with my family in our prime viewing spot on the corner of Broadway and Second Avenue North, but he didn’t seem to see more than two or three floats with all the people stopping by to talk to him.
I played my usual part of wallflower like a pro and wondered why he wanted to sit with me at all since we’d barely exchanged two words from the moment he joined us. Another of the perks of being the most popular guy in school was that all he had to do was hang out in one spot, and like a black hole, everyone gravitated to him.
A glaring absence among the friends who stopped to talk was Derek Watson. Guess they’d had their moment at my house on the night Danny returned. I couldn’t be sad about that. The less time I spent anywhere near Derek, the happier my life was. Especially since Danny told me Derek had entered the transfer portal in the spring with his sights set on Mountain State. If the Wildcats would have picked him up, I would have had to look for a new school.
As it was, Danny was going to be enough of a problem for me. After only spending only two evenings and a day with him, my heart was in serious danger of falling off a cliff named Daniel Thomas Chambers. I didn’t need a crystal ball to see that if I let myself fall, I’d land in a boulder field not on a cloud bank.
When he texted me after he arrived on campus, I was at work. I didn’t see that text or the next one until the end of my shift. At the picnic on the Fourth, he’d mentioned something about maybe hanging out once he arrived on campus, but we didn’t make a definitive plan. The fact he thought I’d be readily available the second he arrived spoke volumes about the imbalance in our friendship. My fault. In high school I’d never said no to any adventure he suggested no matter how short notice. If it meant spending time with him, I was in.
Did I mention how pathetic I was when it came to Danny Chambers?
Since it was after seven and he hadn’t texted again, I was pretty sure he’d given up and found something else to do. Knowing him, he’d already made six friends and snagged some girl’s number.
That second thought made me throw up in my mouth a little.
The Wildcats were perennial contenders for the conference championship. They regularly sold out the stadium on Saturdays, and the players were all local celebrities. Being a student at Mountain State made it impossible to avoid the team.
Because they were such a big deal, the players’ practice schedules were listed online. After I returned to my cubicle of a studio apartment following my shift, I pulled out my laptop and checked when the team would start drills. The perfect time for me to text Danny back would be when he was too busy to return my text. That way I wouldn’t be ignoring him per se, but he wouldn’t expect me to text back and forth with him until he convinced me to hang out.
Despite my long-standing feelings for him, after what I’d learned about myself during the mess with Aaron, the less time I spent in Danny’s presence, the better. If he’d given me any clue at all that he planned to attend Mountain State and join the football team, I maybe could have prepared myself for it—for the possibility of seeing him on campus occasionally, of maybe hanging out a time or two until he drifted away to hang out with the athlete crowd and the cool people (and team groupies) who were always around them. Even with the Coffee Kiosk located a couple blocks off-campus, I’d observed the lives of enough of the athletes who were among our regulars to know the score.
Instead, he’d sprung it on me the night he returned from active duty, leaving me no choice but to pretend I was excited to return to old times—studying together, grabbing a pizza, listening to his struggles with the team and his dad, Danny making me laugh through all of it. And watching from the sidelines as he dated every hot girl in school. At Mountain State, that part might actually challenge him.
It wasn’t something I wanted to watch.
As though I’d conjured him with my morose thoughts, my phone alerted me to an incoming text. For a second, I stared at it as if it were a coiled snake. But when I picked it up, it wasn’t Danny, but rather my friend Zoe Lampee.
Zoe: I’m bored. Want to grab a drink?
Me: It’s Sunday night, Zo-Zo. And we have class in the morning.
When Zoe saw the business administration class offered over summer, like me, she’d jumped on the chance to take a super-challenging class during the laid-back summer semester. So far, it was paying off for both of us—but not if we showed up on a Monday morning hungover.
Zoe: Come over and eat popcorn and watch a movie with me then. We’ll find something campy and make fun of it.
That actually sounded like a great idea. If Danny happened to text again, I wouldn’t have to lie to him—something he’d know I was doing the second I said I was busy. He had a weird radar when it came to catching me in a lie. Except for the biggest lie I’d never stopped telling him: that I was happy to be just his friend.
While Austin Powers in Goldmember played on the TV, my friend and I chowed on cheesy popcorn and cheap wine.
“So your high-school crush is now playing for the ’Cats.” Zoe tossed a popcorn kernel in the air and angled her head beneath it to catch it in her mouth. “The plus of this is you’re not in high school anymore.”
“What does that mean?” I asked as I popped a couple of popcorn kernels into my mouth like a normal person.
“You won’t see him in the halls at school, and since you’re not a cheerleader, you don’t have to attend the games if you don’t want to.”
Tucking a foot under my thigh, I faced her on the couch. “How was it you never went out with him when we were in high school?”
She waved a hand in front of her face. “Blond-haired pretty boys who live in the gym aren’t my type. I’m more into nerdy dudes with dad bods.” Another popcorn kernel took flight and landed perfectly on her tongue. “Not as much competition from other women, and they always make me laugh.” She waggled her brows. “A sense of humor is sexy.”
Danny makes me laugh all the time .
“Yeah, well, that’s not a bad thing considering the last few months you were with Aaron you hardly cracked a smile.”
Huh. Guess I’d said that out loud.
Slanting me a censorious stare, Zoe added, “But watching Danny with other women makes you sad and not much fun to be around.”
I gave her a slow blink.
Zoe continued as though I hadn’t responded at all. “So I agree you need to limit your time with him. Lucky for you, college athletes practice all the time—like, all the time. Between classes and football, he’s going to be super busy. Plus, you having a job and classes means you’re busy too. By Thanksgiving, the two of you will probably be like ships passing in the night.” Patting my knee, she said, “It might be good he’s here.”
I gave her my best Austin Powers raised brow. “How do you figure?”
“You’ll see he’s just another hotshot athlete, no one special, and you’ll finally move on.”
Her breezy tone said me getting over Danny was all but a done deal. The hard lump of my heart turning over in my chest, however, said it disagreed with her. Vehemently.
But my friend was right. I needed to get over Danny. Be his friend for real rather than having more-than-friendly feelings for him. It wasn’t fair to him to freeze him out because it was easier for me. Though he hid it well, I could see that he was lonely. It came out sometimes when he talked about all the moving he and the captain did while he was growing up. He’d always called me his best friend. Now it seemed I should live up to that.
Pulling my phone out of the pocket of my hoodie, I shot off a quick text.
“Are you kidding? We’ve been discussing how you need to distance yourself from him, and you’re texting him?” Zoe’s incredulous tone bordered on a screech.
Having been friends since we were eight, she knew me all too well.
“I was being polite and replying to a text he sent hours ago. With his schedule, no doubt he’s already in bed and won’t even see it until tomorrow.” Emphasizing my nonchalance, I picked up my glass and tossed back a healthy swig of stick-your-tongue-to-the-roof-of-your-mouth wine.
My phone pinged with a text.
Wrinkling her nose, Zoe sneered. “He can still text in bed, apparently.”
I shrugged and ate more popcorn, my eyes straying to the TV where Dr.Evil had gathered his gang of misfit criminals around his silly silver table.
“Go ahead and look at it. I know you’re dying to.” Zoe tossed back her wine and headed into the kitchen for the bottle.
Danny: If I knew where you worked, I would have stopped in for coffee at your place.
Me: That’s okay. I can’t visit when I’m on shift anyway.
Danny: I ended up meeting some teammates.
Me: That worked out then .
Danny: We start practice at six in the morning, but I could still meet you for a beer or something now.
Me: Negative, Ghost Rider. I have a class tomorrow at eight then I work a double. I’ll catch you later in the week.
The dots pulsed across the corner of the screen, then:
Danny: You avoiding me for some reason, T?
I covered my hot cheeks with my hands, my eyes sliding from side to side even though I knew he couldn’t see me. Sucking in a deep breath, I steadied myself and typed back:
Me: Nope. Just busy with work and school like I told you I would be.
Zoe rejoined me on the couch, giving me the dead-eye glare from beneath her brows. “You’re ridiculous—you know that?”
My phone buzzed in my hand, but I studiously ignored the temptation to read Danny’s response. Instead, I stuffed my phone into the front pocket of my hoodie and grabbed the remote to turn up the sound on the movie. Austin Powers was in yet another pickle for which he needed Basil’s help, and as expected, Basil was no help at all. I settled into the cushions and stuffed popcorn into my mouth while my friend shot me a death glare to rival Scott Evil’s and downed more wine.
By the time the credits were rolling across the screen, we’d killed the bottle of wine (Zoe drank most of it) and a massive bowl of popcorn. After the initial discomfort of Zoe’s attitude toward my crush, we’d laughed ourselves silly at how many penis puns one movie could portray with a relatively straight face. I was sleepy and yet wired. Despite Zoe’s stance on my relationship with Danny, that unread text explained why I felt simultaneously sleepy and wired.
After a long stretch, I unfolded myself from the couch and headed for the door.
“You sure you’re okay to drive?” Zoe asked with a yawn. “You’re welcome to camp out on my couch.”
Smiling, I said, “I had a glass and a half of that ‘tasty’ wine you bought, and my last sip was over an hour ago. I’m good.”
She stood and joined me at the door. “See you in class tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow, chicka. Thanks for the distraction—and the tough love. I needed both tonight.”
“A dollar says you won’t wait till you get home to read that last text.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief.
Holding my hand out, I said, “You might as well pay up now.”
“Uh-huh.” She smirked. “See you tomorrow.”
I actually made it all the way to my apartment before I pulled my phone from my pocket. Technically, I was home, but I was still in my car parked in the street out front, so I guess that meant neither of us had won.
Scrolling my phone open, I saw three new texts.
Danny: Kinda feels like you’re avoiding me.
Danny: You’re not texting back. Definitely avoiding me.
Danny: Tina says you work at some place called the Coffee Kiosk. I’ll catch up with you there tomorrow.
Crap.
My little sister had a very big mouth.
So much for putting him off about where I worked. I didn’t need Danny doing me any favors like leaving me a big tip for serving him when he stopped in with his latest conquest. Hopefully he’d be too tired after practice to make good on his threat. But now that he knew the name of the coffee shop, it was only a matter of time before he showed up there.
Get a grip, Taryn. You can be his friend for the next six weeks , I admonished myself.
Once classes started, both of us would disappear into our routines and eventually drift apart. He could pursue his football dreams and I could finish up my undergrad and prepare for grad school without seeing him. We might cross paths occasionally, but we could just say hello, and it wouldn’t be a big deal.
A stab of heartburn had me pushing the heel of my hand into my sternum.
Okay, so maybe it would be a big deal to only see him on occasion as the semester wore on, but I’d yearned for him for long enough. For my own mental health, I had no choice but to convince my heart that we were friends. We’d been friends for five years. Sure, the past four were mostly via email, which was easy, but I could do this. I could show him around campus, take him to some of the more fun bars, hang out with him sometimes. Who knew? Maybe he’d introduce me to another football player who could light up my world.
At the thought of dating someone, a vision of the disgust on Aaron’s face the night he walked out blew up in my mind. Hot on the heels of that vision was another from New Year’s Eve my junior year of high school when I thought Danny and I were on a date at a house party until I saw him walk out of Kaitlyn’s bedroom zipping the fly of his jeans and heard her whine for him to come back as he closed the door.
I was the friend, not the girlfriend. My entire life experience had made that clear. Besides, what would I do with him if he ever showed a romantic interest in me? He ran hot, but even his brand of heat couldn’t thaw a bonafide ice queen who literally froze up whenever things started to get intimate. No doubt Danny would be nicer about it than Aaron, but his pity would be worse than Aaron’s disgust.
If I kept my own flaws front and center in my head, I could do it. I could be Danny’s friend. Maybe if I spent more time with him rather than avoiding him, I’d outgrow my feelings and actually become a mature adult capable of loving him as only a true friend could without all the angst and drama of romance.
Those bees buzzing around in my belly every time I saw him would just have to find something better to do.