CHAPTER ONE #2
Thad crowed about it until Graham threatened to smother him with a pillow. “I don’t even know why you root for New York,” he said, disgusted. “You grew up in Pennsylvania and live in Boston now, you tool.”
Thad shoved the pillow away. “Give me the remote.”
“No!” Graham protested. “You’re going to put on that stupid show again.”
“What do you care? You said you were going to leave!” Thad darted forward, sliding his hand between the loveseat arm and Graham’s thigh, reaching for where he’d stashed the remote. “Give it to me!”
“I am! Just not yet.”’ Graham said with a laugh, trying to shove Thad away with his right shoulder while simultaneously keeping his weight on the left side of the cushion so Thad couldn’t wedge his hand under it and get the remote.
“Who invited you here, anyway?” Thad grumbled, leaning in farther.
“You,” Graham reminded him.
“Yeah, well, we both know I make bad choices,” Thad countered, sounding a little breathless as he rooted his hand around, fishing for the remote.
Laughing, Graham shifted his weight even more heavily to the left, sending Thad sprawling into his lap, his thigh slipping between Graham’s.
Graham tried to compensate by shifting to the right but only succeeded in tangling their bodies further and allowing Thad a chance to get his hand on the remote.
“Ah-HA!” he said, brandishing it as he pulled his arm free.
But his shoulder was still pressed against Graham’s chest, pushing the air from his lungs. Surely that was why Graham suddenly felt a little breathless, even when Thad pulled back far enough to look him in the eye.
Their faces were still very close, and Graham noticed the little flecks of silver in Thad’s dark beard for the first time. For all his clowning around, he was forty-two. A very fit, youthful looking forty-two, but still sixteen years older than Graham.
Thad was still laughing and smiling, his thick dark hair mussed from their tussle and his hazel eyes creased at the corners.
Graham liked it when he was like this, liked when he looked genuinely happy and carefree, because for all Thad pretended to be someone who was lighthearted and didn’t care about much, Graham always got the sense everything that lurked under the surface was very, very weighty.
That he cared deeply but was afraid to show it.
He was good-looking too.
Graham didn’t have to be attracted to men to see that. He was handsome, especially up close like this when Graham could see the flecks of green in his hazel eyes.
Oddly, Graham still felt like he couldn’t quite draw a breath all the way and his heart was going a little too fast, thudding against his breastbone, his nose filling with the dark, spicy scent of Thad’s cologne with every strained inhale.
Thad braced his arm on the sofa, making Graham suddenly aware he was pinned in place by Thad’s position. Thad’s knee had settled between Graham’s thighs, the fly of his jeans pressing against Graham’s right hip.
Graham could hear the too-loud rasp of his own breathing and the low sound Thad made in the back of his throat.
He couldn’t seem to move, to breathe, to push Thad away. All he could do was stare at his face as the laughter faded from it and turned into something sharper.
Hungrier.
A shiver snaked its way down Graham’s spine, like someone had trailed a cold finger along the damp heat of his skin. He could feel the flush crawling up his neck and settling in his cheeks, his fair skin probably turning the mottled red color he’d always hated.
“Fuck, your lips,” Thad murmured.
Graham blinked, not sure what he meant. Sure, he’d been picked on about them when he was growing up, his features mocked for being too pretty for a hockey player.
The teasing had pretty much stopped after his draft, after he’d bulked up and started playing collegiate, then pro hockey, although he still occasionally got chirped on the ice when the refs weren’t watching.
It didn’t bother Graham anymore.
But he—he didn’t know how he felt about it when Thad was staring at his mouth like that, tongue trailing out to swipe across his own lower lip.
Unconsciously, Graham did the same, mirroring the gesture.
“Yeah?” Thad’s voice sounded almost shaky as he slowly brought his hand up to cup Graham’s cheek.
His palm was broad and calloused, warm against Graham’s skin. He leaned in a little, his breath a little spicy from the Indian curries they’d eaten earlier.
Graham blinked, his head spinning, not sure why he wasn’t pushing Thad away, why he wasn’t …
Graham closed the distance between them, his aim a little off, his lips glancing across the corner of Thad’s mouth.
He closed his eyes as Thad tightened his grip on Graham’s jaw and aligned their mouths.
He brushed their lips together in a surprisingly soft gesture, almost tender, before he tilted his head and dragged the tip of his tongue against the seam of Graham’s lips.
And Graham inhaled sharply, letting Thad inside his mouth because he felt hot all over.
He wasn’t pushing Thad away. Was, instead, fisting his hand in Thad’s shirt to hold him close as the kiss deepened.
He needed something to hold on to, something to anchor him because he felt so lightheaded.
His head spun and he still didn’t have enough oxygen, but he did have Thad’s tongue in his mouth.
And it was good. Better than good.
Thad skillfully tangled his tongue against Graham’s, coaxing him to kiss back, nipping at his lower lip to urge him on. And Graham kissed him deeply—he couldn’t seem to stop—his lips tingling as Thad let out a low groan against his mouth.
He shifted, pulling Thad closer, needing more …
And then Thad’s thigh pressed gently against his cock. Even through the fabric of their clothing, it sent a sudden, dizzying bolt of lust through Graham.
And a corresponding wave of confusion.
Because Graham knew this feeling, but he wasn’t used to feeling it with men, with Thad of all people.
Graham suddenly thought of the last time he’d kissed Madison like this and the reminder he had a girlfriend sent the equivalent of a bucket of cold water over his head.
He pulled back, pushing Thad away as he swallowed hard, his lips still tingling. “What was that about?” he rasped.
Thad shifted, pulling away, one eyebrow raised. “I don’t know. You tell me.”
Graham laughed, looking away. “I mean, it was a mistake, obviously.”
“Was it?” Thad reached out, dragging a finger across his cheek and drawing his attention back. “Because it didn’t feel like a mistake to me.”
“I’m straight,” Graham said, ignoring the shiver that went through him at the touch.
Thad let his hand fall back into his lap, his expression filled with disbelief. “Look, I’m never gonna tell a guy how he should identify, but … that didn’t feel like the kind of kiss a straight man gives his buddies.”
“I’m dating Madison!” Graham stood, suddenly feeling sick.
“Don’t get all self-righteous now. You kissed me.”
“I’m not—look, it doesn’t matter.” Graham walked to the front door, pulling on his sneakers with sharp, jerky motions. “It was … a mistake.”
“Okay.” Thad was still on the couch. He lay sprawled out now, denim straining across his muscular thighs, shirt clinging to every line of his upper body. His hair was a mess and God, Graham had done that to him.
Graham was the one who put the heavy-lidded look in his eyes and, oh fuck, made his cock thicken a little and push at the fly of those jeans.
Graham could still smell Thad’s cologne and feel the scrape of his short beard hair against his cheek and chin. They’d kissed and it had been unbelievably good. Unbelievably intense. Unbelievably right.
“It’s a little hard to believe you mean that when you keep looking at me like that,” Thad said huskily.
“I’m not looking at you—look it doesn’t matter,” Graham said, stepping forward. “It was … I … we’re friends, okay?”
“Okay.” Thad sat up slowly. “If that’s what you want.”
“Of course it’s what I want! I have a girlfriend. I feel guilty enough for—for kissing someone else. Anyone else while I’m with her.”
“And you’re straight, right?” Thad’s tone was a little mocking.
“Yes!” Graham said, because he was. He’d never … “I—I had a weird lapse in judgment or something.”
Madison had been away and they’d both been busy. It had been difficult to connect with her lately. Graham was feeling a little tightly wound. That was all.
“Okay,” Thad said, his tone easy. He rose to his feet and sauntered over. “So, when you go to bed later tonight, you definitely won’t think about what it would’ve felt like if I’d gotten on my knees and sucked your cock.”
“I won’t,” Graham protested.
And he didn’t.
He did wake in the early hours of the morning, heart pounding, cock hard, yanked from a dream about a warm mouth on his and the scent of Thad’s cologne in his nose, but it didn’t mean anything.
How could it?
Graham was an ally. The kind of guy who genuinely wanted to support his friends and the community. The kind of guy who had noticed other men, but only in an abstract way.
A non-sexual way.
He had always dated women, he had a girlfriend who he was going to have to apologize to, and this stupid kiss with Thad was nothing but a weird, flukey little thing they’d laugh about later.
Wasn’t it?