CHAPTER FIFTEEN
A little while later, Graham rested his forehead against Thad’s shoulder, panting, his body trembling with the aftershocks of pleasure as he came down from another incredible handjob from Thad.
The heat of the water from the shower made him even more light-headed and combined with his exhaustion, the release hit hard.
After the haze finally cleared, Graham lifted his head. “Hey. Why won’t you let me do anything for you?”
“What?” Thad frowned.
Graham resisted the urge to smooth away the furrows that crossed his forehead. “You always … you always get me off. But you haven’t let me get you off.”
During the handjob, he’d reached down to try to stroke Thad’s cock or at least feel it in his hand, but Thad had distracted him with a searing kiss, then grabbed his wrist and pinned it against the shower wall.
That had been hot as hell and Graham had felt too good at the time to argue, but it was starting to make him wonder.
“Oh.” Thad let out a shaky exhale. “Well, it’s only happened twice; I don’t know that you can really say there’s a pattern there from that. But, uh, I don’t know. I guess I hadn’t thought about it? I’ve been focused on how much I’m enjoying getting you off.”
Graham wondered if there was more to it, more than Thad even realized, maybe.
“Are you sure it’s not because you’re afraid if I do touch another man’s dick for the first time, I’ll change my mind?” he gently teased.
Thad winced. “Well, I can’t say I ever thought that exactly, but maybe that’s somewhere up in my head.”
“Okay.” Graham leaned in. “But just so you know? I meant what I said the other night. I want to jerk you off, suck you … at some point I want to fuck you and see if I’m into you fucking me. Maybe I won’t like certain stuff, I don’t know. But I want you to let me try.”
“Shit,” Thad rasped.
Graham laughed because he sounded so wrecked about it and all Graham had done was say what he wanted to do. “Why is that so hot to you?”
Thad shrugged. “I don’t know. There’s something about how … buttoned up you seem and hearing you say what you want to do gets me really fucking hard.”
“I can tell.” Graham shifted, letting his thigh brush Thad’s dick.
Thad shivered. He reached out and took Graham’s hand, guiding it down, his gaze never leaving Graham’s.
The eye contact … the warmth of Thad’s hand wrapped around his, the even warmer skin along Thad’s shaft as Graham wrapped his fingers around his length …
One of them moaned and Graham wasn’t sure who it was as he lightly explored. It was so incredibly hot to touch Thad this way.
He dragged his fingertips up and down, taking note of the places that made Thad’s eyes flutter or his lips part.
Eventually, Graham grew bolder, circling him in a loose grip and stroking harder. Thad gasped, head thudding back against the tiles.
“Oh fuck,” he whispered.
The angle was awkward, sure, but it made Graham feel powerful to have someone like Thad so affected by his touch, gave him a burst of courage to stroke harder, faster …
“Yeah, yeah,” Thad said tightly. He wrapped his hand around Graham’s again, increasing the pressure. “Just like that.”
“You want something for lube?”
Thad shook his head. “No, no. Keep going. It’s perfect.”
So Graham kept going. He leaned in until his forehead rested against Thad’s, transfixed at the sight of his own hand, sandwiched between Thad’s cock and hand.
Maybe it should be jarring or strange to see when Graham had spent his whole adult life having sex with women, but it wasn’t. It was simply hot.
It made Graham’s skin heat and his mouth water as he imagined dropping to his knees and taking Thad in his mouth for the first time. It made him wonder if he’d like the feel of Thad pushing inside him.
He’d thought about it a lot lately. More than he’d felt comfortable admitting this summer, even to himself.
And now he wanted to know.
This was a whole new side of himself he knew nothing about. A whole new world opening up to him. He didn’t want to hover in the doorway and wonder. He wanted to plunge forward and discover new things.
Thad’s grip tightened and he moaned. “Fuck. Almost there.”
“Yeah,” Graham whispered. “Come all over me. Make me dirty. Make me yours.”
Thad shuddered and a moment later he came with a low groan, painting Graham’s skin with his cum. The water washed it away immediately and Graham hated that, but he did love the way Thad seemed weak in the knees as he slumped against the shower wall and breathed heavily.
For a few moments, he lay there, eyes closed, while Graham gently washed his cock, then stroked his hand up Thad’s stomach and chest.
“That was so hot,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to Thad’s throat. To his jaw. “I want to do more of that.”
“Yeah,” Thad said, still sounding weak. “Whatever you want, baby.”
Graham laughed and kissed him, pleased by Thad’s reaction.
They spent the next few minutes soaping up, then rinsed and turned the water off.
Graham handed Thad a towel, sneaking glances at him in the mirror as he dried his body. Sometimes he had to pinch himself to believe this was real.
“Hey. There’s one more thing,” Thad said as he scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Before we go any further with this, I should—I should get tested.”
“Tested?” Graham frowned. “Oh, STIs?”
“Yeah.” Thad looked uneasy. “I’m pretty religious about condoms but … you know what my history’s like. I should be sure everything’s okay.”
“Honestly, I probably should get tested too,” he admitted. “I mean, Madison and I were together a while, and we did stop using them …”
Thad looked almost relieved. “Yeah, good call.”
But that quickly faded as he frowned. “Uh, I should be honest. I did have the clap in prison. It went away with treatment and there shouldn’t be any risk to you or me anymore or anything. Once it clears up, it’s gone. But, uh, I felt like I should be up-front about it.”
“The clap. That’s, um, gonorrhea, right?”
“Yeah. It’s … uh, I got it from Teddy when we first started screwing around in prison. Like I said, no access to condoms and—”
“Dude, you don’t have to explain anything,” Graham said, waving his explanation off. “I mean, you can if you want, but I’m not going to judge you for it.”
“Yeah, well, most people would,” Thad said, a little bitterly, then his expression softened. “But you’re not most people, are you?”
Graham shrugged because, well, he was just … himself. And he didn’t really understand why most people were so fucking hard on everyone else about the choices they made.
Yeah, he could be hard on himself about the way he played, but that was different. That was hockey. He had certain standards for himself, and he knew sometimes they were a little ridiculous.
He was working on it, okay?
Thad leaned in and kissed him again. Graham melted into him, kissing him back until he started to shiver.
“Shit, we should get in bed,” he said with a laugh. “I’m getting cold.”
“I guess I’ll have to warm you up then,” Thad said with a crooked smile.
In the bedroom, Thad dug through his suitcase and pulled out a pair of briefs. The really snug kind in a bright red that made Graham suddenly reconsider what he found hot in underwear on men.
Or, really the fact he found underwear on men hot at all. He was learning all sorts of new things about himself these days, wasn’t he?
Graham nodded at the bed as he tugged on his own boxer briefs and sweatpants. “You can get in. I need to take Murphy out for a quick pee since we’ll probably sleep in late tomorrow.”
“Sure. I’ll keep the sheets warm for you.” Thad winked.
To retaliate, Graham reached into Thad’s suitcase and grabbed a hoodie, watching with satisfaction as Thad’s lips parted.
The sweatshirt was a generic Harriers pullover with the hawk logo on the front. Graham had a few like it in his own closet. But this one hung a little loose on him, the shoulders a touch too wide, the sleeves grazing his knuckles instead of his wrists.
“Damn,” Thad whispered, and it was so quiet Graham wondered if he’d meant to say it aloud at all.
He strode over, wrapping an arm around Graham and giving him a deep, filthy kiss he felt all the way down to his toes.
Graham was just reaching for Thad to yank him closer when he pulled away, giving Graham’s ass an affectionate squeeze before he walked back over to the bed.
Lips still tingling from the soft abrasion of Thad’s stubble, Graham’s heart stuttered at the sight of Thad making himself at home. For a moment, he stared as Thad settled onto his bed, plugged in his phone, and got comfortable.
Thad smirked at Graham when he caught him staring. “Better go quickly if you want me to still be awake to warm you up when you get back.”
Heart pounding as he wondered what that would entail, Graham turned away and made a beeline for the door.
Murphy was asleep on the couch, and he made a disgruntled noise when Graham roused him.
“Potty?” he said, walking toward the door. He rattled the leash on the hook by the door and a moment later, Murphy trotted toward him.
After shoving his feet into slides, Graham grabbed his keys and left the apartment. Murphy knew the way to the first-floor courtyard as well as Graham did, so on the elevator ride down and to the exit door, Graham’s mind was free to picture Thad in the shower and in his bed again.
It was … God, this was good.
Graham could get used to this. Get used to Thad being in his life this way.
Outside, the air was cool and damp and he shivered as wet grass brushed the bare skin on his feet.
“Make it quick,” he told the dog with a yawn as Murphy nosed at the grass, trying to figure out the best spot to pee in.
Graham hugged the slightly oversized sweatshirt tighter around him, the scent of Thad’s cologne lingering and making him smile.
A part of Graham wished he could tell someone about the relationship. If only because he wanted to say how good it was. To gush about how happy and excited for the future he was.
Even if he didn’t know exactly what kind of future that would be.