CHAPTER SIXTEEN #2
Jesse was studying his face intently and Graham flinched and had the urge to wipe at his face in case he’d gotten something on it.
He drained his drink and stood instead. “I’m gonna, uh, use the restroom,” he said. “Be right back.”
“Sure,” Connor said absently, his gaze trained on a couple of the rookies who had overindulged when they were in New York. Only Erik had gotten sick enough to warrant calling Dr. Pope in, but they were all in deep shit.
Graham thought about their stupidity as he pushed through the crowd of people to reach the bathroom.
Most of the rookies who’d gotten in trouble were of legal drinking age, all of them twenty-one or twenty-two, but Erik was only eighteen.
The older guys were the ones who’d been passing him drinks all night and no one in the organization was happy with them at the moment. They weren’t happy with Erik, either, but were cutting him a little bit of slack because of his age and inexperience.
The team culture Declan O’Shea had established so many years ago had been for guys to enjoy a few drinks out with the boys if they wanted, but to always be in control. No drunk driving, no hangovers at practices and games, and definitely no drinking to the point of needing medical intervention.
Honestly, Graham was a little surprised any of these guys had even indulged that much. Most players knew by now the league was far too fast-paced to allow for that type of behavior and there were plenty of other young, hungry guys looking for a spot on the roster.
If they fuck up again, there are plenty of others eager to take their places, Graham thought as he slipped into the bathroom.
In this case, the guys had been given a stern warning. Gavin, the coaching staff, Connor, Graham, and Mickey had all agreed that while mistakes had clearly been made, they were the kind the rookies could learn and grow from.
So far, they’d been nursing a single drink all night. But Graham, Connor, and Mickey had all agreed to keep an eye on them tonight.
But Jesse had been watching Graham, which made him a little nervous. Why? Had he picked up on something different about him?
Jesse was typically cheerful off the ice, his blue eyes warm and full of laughter.
On the ice, there was an intensity to his stare as he tracked the puck, the same with most goalies he knew. That same stare could be a little unnerving off the ice though.
Graham would swear it was like goalies could see right through you. Deep down to your soul.
Or maybe that was Graham’s slightly guilty conscience talking.
Would Connor notice Graham and Thad were dating? Probably not, because he wouldn’t be looking for it. Would Jesse? Well, he probably wouldn’t be looking for it either but Graham certainly wouldn’t put it past him to notice.
“You okay?” Anker Henriksen asked.
Graham glanced over at his teammate who stood a couple of urinals over from him. “Yeah,” he said automatically. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
“Because you’ve been standing there fully dressed staring at the flier for the South End Oktoberfest event for like … five minutes, dude.”
“Oh, right.” Graham let out an awkward laugh and unzipped. “Lost in thought, I guess.”
“Sure.” Anker laughed too and zipped up, walking away to wash his hands still shaking his head like he thought Graham had lost his marbles.
He might be right.
Graham’s excuse for using the bathroom had mostly been to get away from Jesse’s intense scrutiny but thankfully he did actually have a semi-full bladder.
So, like Anker, he did his business, tucked himself away, then washed his hands.
A band was playing tonight so the pub was extra loud as Graham left the bathroom. They sounded fine but for some reason it was grating on his nerves.
Instead of heading back into the thick of it, he pushed open the door to the patio.
There were people out there too, mostly seated at small tables or around the firepit. But along the far side of the courtyard was a long, narrow bar-type setup with stools spaced evenly along it.
A couple sat at the far end, engrossed in their conversation—or each other, Graham thought wryly as he watched the guy settle a hand on her thigh—that they were paying no attention to anyone around them.
At the other end was Thad. He appeared lost in thought, fiddling with a pack of cigarettes but he looked up when the door shut behind Graham.
A jolt of something went through Graham, so quick he wasn’t even sure what it was. He felt like he should walk away, pretend like he hadn’t seen Thad or something. Not because he didn’t want to talk to him but because he wanted it so much.
Too much, maybe, he thought ruefully as he walked over to Thad anyway.
He’d felt anxious since Thad left the other night, wondering exactly where they stood. Had Thad decided this whole dating idea was too much for him?
Except … there was so much heat in his gaze as the stood there, pack of cigarettes frozen in his hands, staring as Graham walked toward him.
He looked fucking sinful tonight in a pair of black jeans, a simple white T-shirt, beat-up black leather jacket, and Harriers’ baseball cap. The jeans molded to his thighs and ass that rivaled nearly any pro hockey player’s, and his chest looked so broad and firm under the white T-shirt.
Graham wanted to press his hands to Thad’s chest and lean in to kiss him.
He wanted to feel the rasp of Thad’s facial hair against his cheek and the strength of his arms as he hauled Graham even closer. He wanted Thad’s naked body against his, and …
Damn it, there were people around and he couldn’t do any of that.
Graham hadn’t seen anyone from the Harriers’ organization out on the patio, but it was still a public space, and one surreptitious photo from an eagle-eyed fan could blow up everywhere.
Most people here were respectful of players, but the risk of someone seeing an opportunity to out a player who’d never dated a man publicly before was too high for Graham to risk.
They all knew what could happen if something hit JockGossip.
“Hey,” Thad said huskily when Graham stopped an arm’s length away. “What are you doing out here?”
“It was a little loud in there,” Graham admitted. “I needed a break.”
“Yeah, same.” Thad licked his lips, fidgeting with the pack of cigarettes.
“You can smoke if you want,” Graham said with a shrug. “You look like you need it.”
Thad looked surprised. “Yeah? I thought you hated it.”
“I do but you seem kinda … antsy,” he pointed out, suddenly wishing he too had something he could fiddle with. Like a drink. Even a glass of water would be fine.
Anything to keep from reaching out and touching Thad like he wanted.
Thad glanced down at the slightly mangled pack. “Yeah.”
But he made no move to light one up. Instead, he glanced up, his brow furrowed, and said in a low voice, “We should talk tonight.”
A flicker of worry went through Graham. “Is that as ominous as it sounds?”
Thad looked confused. “Ominous?”
“Never mind.” Graham waved off the questions. Okay, so maybe Thad wasn’t planning to break up with him. And since he’d never really dated anyone, he probably didn’t know the terror that came with the words, ‘we should talk.’ “Yeah. We can do that.”
“Your place?” Thad asked, still so quiet Graham had to strain to hear him.
“I’m fine with that.”
“Think we can get away with taking a ride share there together?” Thad asked.
“Yeah,” Graham said, and he probably shouldn’t be so cavalier about it but damn Thad looked good. He looked good and he smelled good and fuck, Graham wanted him.
And if Thad didn’t want to end their relationship then he probably wanted to talk about why he left.
Graham knew they should talk about it.
He’d been thinking about it a lot in the past few days. But right now, he didn’t want to be responsible and talk through whatever had made Thad leave his condo in the dead of night.
What he wanted was to grab the front of Thad’s shirt and slant his mouth over his. He wanted Thad’s hands on his skin and scent in his nose. He wanted Thad’s name on his lips as he came and to hold him close after.
He knew Thad was going slow for a reason and Graham didn’t want to push him but fuck, it was hard to think of anything but sex when a simple handjob had felt so good.
Graham shivered and wet his lips. “I’ll head inside and tell the guys I’m tired and am heading home now. You follow a little later. Act like you’re planning to get laid tonight.”
“Aren’t I?” Thad asked and the look in his eyes made Graham’s skin flush with heat.
“Yeah, you fucking are,” he rasped and turned on his heel before he could do something even stupider than what he was already doing.