CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Thad worked late that night.
And the next.
He told himself it was because Andrea was still out and they were trying to get a temp hired, plus, it was still an incredibly busy part of the season.
But truth be told, he was fucking terrified.
Terrified he and Graham would get caught. Terrified he’d lose his job.
Although the closet incident had been hot, they’d nearly been discovered.
Jesse finding them would’ve been bad enough, but his brother had walked by. What if Gavin had come by a few minutes earlier? What if he’d opened the door and seen them?
It felt like Thad and Gavin were making progress but what if this relationship with Graham derailed all that?
He said as much to Harlan, his therapist, who gave him a long, searching look and said, “What if it did?”
Thad floundered for a while, not sure what to say. Not sure how to explain. Then the asshole asked what if he lost Graham and that sent Thad’s thoughts into more of a tangle.
Finally, they dug into the shit he and Gavin had talked about, which left him feeling raw and reeling with questions and worries.
After his appointment was over, he left Harlan’s office and went straight home to think.
It wasn’t until he got a message from Graham asking if traffic was bad that he realized he was already twenty minutes late to their date.
The plan had been casual enough, dinner at their favorite sports bar, but it was all the way across town and Thad was tired and his head ached, and he couldn’t seem to nail down his thoughts in any way that made sense.
There was definitely no way in hell he had the energy to go all the way across town, much less try to pretend like it was a normal date night.
Still, he was a dumbass when it came to relationships, but not so much of a dumbass he didn’t know canceling via text was not the way to go.
So he called Graham.
“One sec,” Graham said when he answered. “Let me go outside, it’s too loud in here.”
It was loud, Thad could hear the babble of background noise through the phone, so he said, “sure,” and waited until the muttered, “excuse me’s” ended and everything went silent.
“I’m outside,” Graham finally said. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Well, not really.” Thad sprawled on his loveseat and rubbed his forehead. “I’m going to have to cancel on you.”
“Did something happen to your car or something?” Graham sounded worried.
Thad had gotten the car back but the mechanic had warned him there was a lot more work he could’ve done. And at some point soon, Thad was going to have to decide if it was worth continuing to invest in the old thing or if he should give up and buy something new.
Well, used. But new to him.
Something slightly less decrepit than his current car but still affordable, anyway.
“The car’s fine. I …” Thad rubbed his temple. “My head is pounding.”
“Oh shit.” Graham’s tone immediately turned concerned. “Is there anything you need?”
“Nah, I’ll be okay. Thanks though.”
Graham was silent and, for a moment, Thad listened to him breathe. He finally said, “Is that the only reason you stood me up?”
Thad winced. “Honestly, I forgot we had plans tonight. I had a therapy appointment, and it was … heavy, I guess. I don’t know. I was on autopilot when I headed home. I am sorry though.”
“No, I get it,” Graham said. “I mean, I am a little disappointed. We haven’t had a lot of time together in the past few days.”
“I know.” Guilt washed over Thad. “I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. How about that?”
“Yeah?” Graham said, his tone warming a little. “What were you thinking?”
“Well,” Thad said, kicking off his shoes and settling back on the loveseat. “They’re feeling guilty for overworking me, so I have the day off. And you have an optional skate, right?”
“I still have to go in for a few things, but yeah. It should be a pretty short morning for me.”
“So how about this?” Thad offered. “I’ll get to your place kinda early. I’ll suck your dick before you head to practice, then hang out at your place while you’re there, if you’re cool with it, then I’ll make you brunch, and we’ll go out and do something.”
“Like a date?” Graham said, his tone very warm now.
“Yeah. Like that.”
“Sounds good to me.” Graham was definitely smiling now. Thad could hear it through the phone.
Relieved, Thad said, “Good. Let’s do it.”
“You sure you don’t want me to come over there now?” Graham asked. “I know your head hurts and you’re not feeling super great right now, but I could always suck your dick.”
Thad absently palmed his cock through his jeans. “That’s definitely tempting,” he admitted.
But he thought of everything his therapist had said and sighed. “But, honestly, I could use a little time to think.”
“Sure, okay,” Graham said.
He didn’t sound upset but Thad still winced. He rubbed a hand across his face, feeling like he was letting Graham down left and right.
“I’ll make it up to you tomorrow,” Thad promised.
“Deal. I should probably get back in there. I ordered food.” Graham sounded almost apologetic. “I wasn’t sure when you’d get here, so ….”
Thad winced. “Yeah, go eat. And I’m sorry. I really am … I want to do better. You’re—you’re important to me, Graham. You know that, right?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“I did warn you I’m new at this and I’d probably be kinda shitty at being someone’s boyfriend, remember?” He said it not as an excuse for his behavior, but more as a reminder he was trying but still figuring things out.
“I remember.”
Thad couldn’t really get a read on Graham’s mood at the moment, and he suddenly hated that they were talking on the phone. Hated he couldn’t touch Graham.
“I miss you,” he admitted.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to come over?” Graham asked. “I could get this to go and order something for you …”
“Thanks, but no,” Thad said. “I really do need some time to think. I promise, we’ll spend tomorrow together though. All day.”
“Okay. Sounds good. Night.”
“G’night,” Thad said.
He hung up the phone, tossed it beside him on the couch, and stared up at the ceiling.
Maybe someday he’d figure out this relationship shit. He just hoped he didn’t lose Graham before that point.
The following day, Thad awoke to the sound of barking.
He blinked, confused and annoyed and ready to stumble out of bed and yell at his stupid neighbor with the annoying dog.
Thad lifted his head, squinting around him, and abruptly realized he wasn’t at home. The wide, comfortable bed with the mountain of pillows and luxuriously smooth sheets were a far cry from his shitty small mattress and bargain bedding in a bag.
The annoying dog didn’t belong to his neighbors, but to his boyfriend.
Thad buried his face in the mound of pillows around him and smiled. They smelled like Graham.
He had come over early, before practice. Graham had answered the door in nothing but a sheet. Thad had immediately dragged him to the bedroom.
He’d fingered Graham while he sucked his cock, half-tempted to give in to the urge to fuck Graham for the first time, but there hadn’t been enough time, and it wasn’t something he wanted to rush.
Graham had given him a handjob, cleaned up, then left Thad in his bed with a kiss. Thad must have fallen asleep after.
Through the half-open bedroom door he heard Graham hiss, “Cut it out, Murphy!”
He must be back from practice now.
Thad yawned and stretched, taking in the tangled sheets and the time on the clock across the room. Damn, he’d slept for a while too. That was a good sign, wasn’t it?
He’d finally managed to get some sleep at Graham’s place. Maybe not overnight and not with Graham here, but a couple of hours wasn’t nothing.
Maybe the talk with his therapist had helped.
For a few moments, he lay there, listening to the low rise and fall of Graham’s voice, though his words were indistinct.
Thad yawned and rolled onto his back, debating if he should haul himself out of bed and go in search of Graham or wait here for him. If he waited here, maybe he could drag Graham into bed again.
He could pull him down, strip his clothes off, and kiss him. See where that went.
Sure, there were things they’d talked about doing today, but nowhere they had to be at a specific time. Maybe Graham would want to spend a few hours in bed first. Thad could lay him out, get his hands and mouth all over his body.
He could get his fingers in Graham’s hole, or, better yet, his tongue. He could roll Graham onto his belly and lick his ass open until he was right on the edge of release, then slide his cock inside.
He palmed his dick through the soft fabric of his underwear, squeezing a little, half-hard already at the thought.
Fuck, Graham would be so tight around his cock.
Thad shifted, deciding he would get out of bed and go in search of him. No point in waiting when he could go after what he really wanted.
He threw back the covers as Murphy barked and Graham clearly said, “Sorry, the dog won’t shut up.”
Thad frowned, a little confused. At first he’d assumed Graham was talking to the dog, but was Graham talking to him? He pushed up on one elbow, intending to call out and ask, when he spoke again.
“Yeah, no that sounds good,” Graham said. “I mean, the schedule will be tight, but we can make it work. I mean, I can.”
Ohh, he must be on a phone call.
Thad sat up.
There was silence for a moment before Graham laughed awkwardly. “No, I mean I broke up with Madison not that long ago so I can’t imagine I’ll have a plus-one by then.”
Silence again. “I do not! And I’m—I’m taking a break right now, okay?”
Another beat, then, “Ugh, shut up. You sound like Connor.”
Thad stretched, smiling. Yes. Clearly Graham was on the phone with someone. A close friend maybe?
He stumbled out of bed and dragged his ass into the kitchen wearing nothing but a pair of underwear, attempting to smooth down his hair before he let Graham know he was up.
He found him in the kitchen, food spread out but the burners turned off like he’d been in the middle of starting breakfast when the call came through.