Chapter 25 – Avery
Chapter Twenty-Five
Avery
“ H ave you guys been getting things ready? How far along are you?”
“I’m about twenty weeks along. We haven’t done anything yet, but I’m sure we will once we know if it's a boy or a girl,” I tell her as I help Lyla and Emmie clear the table, ignoring them telling me to go sit down and let them clean.
Not a chance. I’m pregnant, not broken.
“When do you go back to the doctors?”
“The day after tomorrow. We have the full anatomy scan and then hopefully find out why I’m still nauseous every day.”
“My guess is you’re constantly sick because it’s a boy. I’m not saying there is science behind my reasoning, but I was perfectly fine when I had the girls. When I was pregnant with Harris, I was sick every single day until I delivered him. It was hell, but thankfully he was the best baby.”
“Who knows, but I definitely wouldn’t mind a baby boy. I’ll be thrilled regardless if it’s a boy or girl, but I’d love to watch Harris with a little boy.”
“It’s so wonderful to watch, and as his mom I would love to watch that as well. Especially hoping he gives his dad a run for his money as much as Harris gave his own dad.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Mom,” Harris says as he throws his arm over her shoulder. “I was perfect, a damn angel and you won’t convince me otherwise.”
“Whatever you say, son. You were an angel baby but as a young kid and a teen, you were the sole reason I had grey hairs by the time I was thirty-five. “
“Facts. But you’ve done good for yourself, son, I’m proud of you both,” his dad says, smiling as he looks at Harris. There’s so much love in both his mom and dad’s eyes, and I’m a little jealous. I wish this was the response I had gotten when I told my family, not just that they don’t care and have no interest in being involved.
I’m sure they would have if it was Peter’s, but if it was Peter’s I wouldn’t be nearly as excited.
“We are actually going to be bouncing back and forth between the city and Ivy Falls these next few weeks. We are getting ready to start remodeling the house and have to meet with the designers every couple of weeks. Please keep us up to date on how everything is going. Okay?”
“Promise. As soon as we know what we are having I’ll make sure to call you.”
“Okay. We love you. Both of you,” his mom says before giving us each the best hug of my life.
A mom hug, and I melt.
After the rest of our goodbyes and promises to get together soon, his family heads out, leaving Harris and I alone.
“Can I show you something?” Harris asks quietly once we have settled back in.
“Of course,” I say. “What is it?”
“Come on,” he says with a smile before walking down the hall with our rooms in it.
Even though we spent the night together the other day, I’ve spent the rest of the nights in my own bedroom because I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing. Does he want me to stay with him? Does he want me to kiss him? Hold his hand?
Or does he want me to stay in my bedroom, read my spicy books, and take care of my needs on my own.
I don’t know and I hate it.
“Where are we going?” I ask when he passes my bedroom and moves to the door in between our two rooms.
“Go on in,” he says with a smile, his hand gesturing out for me to lead the way into the room.
Nervously, I walk in, my eyes widening when I realize what I’m looking at.
There was an entire pile of magazines on the small table in the room, there had to be at least ten of them from all different stores, but they all had one thing in common.
Baby stuff.
There were magazines for clothes, for furniture, for carrying gear, sleep gear, car seats, you name it. The sight of the magazines brings tears to my eyes, my hand coming up to my stomach on instinct as I realize that it’s no longer an if I become a mom.
I’m becoming one.
Years ago, long before I’d become so bitter on what it meant to be happy, I had dreamed of becoming a mom. I thought about what it would be like to have a little mini me, or a little mini version of my husband, who I’d always hoped would be Harris. But after our relationship died, so did my dream of becoming a mom.
“You did all of this?”
“Yeah… I only ordered the furniture because I know it takes forever to get and I didn’t want you to stress out about it. But if you hate it, we can return it. I left all the magazines out for you to look at so you can change anything you want. I know this is me being a little pushy, I was just trying to help because so far you’re doing most of the hard work.”
Looking at Harris, it’s so weird to see him so uncomfortable, so unsure with a decision he made to do something nice for me, especially when doing this makes it so obvious to me that I don’t like Harris.
Like is such a basic, simple term for what I feel for this man. He is everything to me. He’s a support system, my friend, the man who has held my hair back every time I’ve thrown up. The man who brings me bagels before I get out of bed to make sure I’m not nauseous first thing in the morning. The man who will hold my hand while I deliver our baby. Our baby who was created on a night I thought was a mistake, but I think it was fate.
I knew he was the love of my life six years ago, but found myself trapped—but now, I’m exactly where I want to be.
With a man I’m still in love with.
Walking forward tentatively, I try to build up my courage. My courage to make a move—to push us in the right direction. His eyes widen the closer I get, darkening with question as my eyes fall to his lips. The second I’m within touching distance Harris’s lips fall to mine.
Crashing down, his mouth feasts on mine, hungry for my kiss, my taste, as our tongues twist and tangle together, both desperately separately searching for more. Wrapping my arms around his neck, he takes a step forward, pressing his body into mine, his hand gripping my hips roughly as he walks me backward until my back is against the wall, never once breaking the kiss.
Pinning me against the wall, his hips holding me in place while his erection pushes against me, against my core where I’m desperate for more connection. More friction. More everything until he has nothing left to offer me.
The grip of his fingers push into my skin till it nearly painful, but it only makes me crave more. With his hands on my hips, he lifts me up, my legs wrapping around him like I’m climbing him like a tree, desperate to get as close to him as possible. Pulling back, he looks at me, his eyes wild, an untamed desire burning inside him that mirrors my own, which is both incredible and terrifying all at once. But we’ve always been so in tune, whether using our words to communicate or our bodies, it’s always been flawlessly understood. The reflection is somehow terrifying and incredible all at once, knowing just how deep we are in these rushing waters of emotions.
It’s never mattered that this marriage was “fake”. It’s never mattered that we said we weren’t going to act on our feelings or pursue something because of our baby. Not because it wasn’t important, but because our bond is too damn strong for us to ignore, especially not when the pieces are falling into place so beautiful this time.
“I need you in my bed,” he growls, his voice gravely and seductive I can’t help but shiver at his words, holding on for dear life as he maneuvers us out of what will be the nursery to his bedroom.
I’ve been in this room plenty of times, even slept in the bed before, but being in this room knowing we aren’t just toeing the line anymore, we’re long jumping across the bitch so it feels intimidating.
But not in the way where I want to run away. No, I want to run and leap across that line, just praying that when we end up on the other side, we somehow land together. Laying me down gently, he crawls over my body, a knee on either side of me as he leans down to kiss me, his mouth immediately claiming mine, dominating, a kiss that was hot and heavy before has been turned up a million degrees as his movements become less practiced and more desperate.
I fucking love it.
Pulling back, he looks at me, sitting back on his heels with a boyish grin on his face, looking at me like I’m his damn prize. But it’s in this moment that it hits me I’m about to be naked in front of Harris, and not like I am at the doctor’s office, this is different.
I’m about to be naked with Harris to have sex, and I’m honestly terrified of him seeing my body. What if he’s not attracted to me? What if the second my clothes are off he changes his mind? What if he can’t get it up because I’ve gained a few pounds and my stomach is getting rounder and rounder by the day, proven by the fact that I have to go maternity clothes shopping ASAP.
“What’s wrong,” he says, his face immediately falling, concern written in his eyes.
“I—” I start, but look away, too nervous to talk to him and make eye contact with him. It’s embarrassing. “I don’t look the same anymore. Things look… different.”
“Okay?” he says slowly, obviously confused.
“I don’t look like I used to, and I sure as hell don’t look like the girls you’re used to—” I can’t even finish my sentence before he’s kissing me quiet.
“I don’t ever want to hear you compare yourself to anyone ever again. Especially not another woman when you’re the only one I want in my bed,” Harris says, his eyes flashing with anger, and I feel like I’m being chastised, but in a way that’s hot because he’s standing up for me at the same time?
It’s confusing.
“But what if you don’t think I’m attractive anymore,” I groan, throwing my arms over my face to hide, but he immediately pulls them away, bringing one hand to his cock.
His very big, very hard, cock.
“Does this feel like I don’t find you attractive, Avery?” Harris says, his tone edgier than usual and I can tell he’s being serious. “Do you think I’d be this fucking hard for you if I didn’t think you were the sexiest woman in the entire world? Do you think I’d be going out of my mind with you in my bed, desperately trying to figure out what I want to do first because it’s been way too long since I’ve sunk my cock inside your sweet, little pussy?”
“No… I guess not,” I say, trying to sound convincing but it’s hard to believe.
It’s hard to believe a man this attractive thinks I’m hot. That he would want to be here with me instead of some hot model wannabe who probably doesn’t have a single stretch mark.
That’s just not me, especially not while I’m pregnant.
Lifting my chin with the crook of his finger, he forces me to look at him.
“Let me show you. Let me fuck my wife, make love to her and show you just how perfect I think you are while making you feel so good you’ll never want to leave my bed,” he says, desperation in his tone that is just enough for me to agree.
“Okay,” I say quietly—and with that, it’s go time.
Reaching behind him, he pulls his shirt over his head and tosses it to the ground, leaning forward and stripping his pants off until he’s completely naked, obviously wasting no time.
Leaning forward, he presses a gentle kiss to my lips before pulling me forward and sliding my shirt off. Then, he reaches behind me and unhooks my bra with a move he’s always been impressively fast at, leaving me in front of him topless, my breasts rounder than before, but instead of being self-conscious, I choose to see the desire in his eyes.
Reflected at me.
“Lift up,” he growls, tapping my hips, and I do. Lifting my hips just enough for him to slide off my pants and underwear.
My clothes haven’t even landed on the ground before he’s on me, one hand moving into my hair as he brings our mouths together in a bruising kiss that’s more of a claiming than affection. Harris is showing me who I belong to, and the way my body is reacting to him, he might be right.
Kissing down my body, he presses open mouth kisses to my belly, looking up at me with so much love.
“This is our baby—who we created. How could I ever think you’re anything less than perfect for growing this inside of you?” he asks incredulously, like it’s the most ignorant thing I could ever say, and I know in that moment he’s telling me the truth.
Filled with emotion, I try to look away, but instead he moves back up to me, kissing me, while one hand moves between my legs as he slides his fingers through my wet heat.
“I need to fuck you. I’m desperate to fuck my wife for the very first time,” he says, and I’m done for.
“Fuuuuck,” I groan, and he just chuckles as he slides two fingers inside me.
“So fucking wet, wife. Do you like the idea of you husband fucking you? Of me claiming you in what should be our bed?”
“Yes,” I moan as he pumps his fingers slowly in and out of me.
“Then tell me you’ll move into this room with me. That you’ll sleep next to me every night like you’re meant to.”
“I—”
“Tell me or I swear to god, Avery, I’ll edge the fuck out of you over and over until you agree. We both know you want to be in here, and we both know we are going to give into this, so let’s just say fuck it and do it already.”
“O-Okay,” I stutter, and I expect to feel anxious, but instead I’m excited.
Slowly sliding his fingers out, Harris climbs back over me with a smile he couldn’t hide if he tried. One hand gripping his cock, he slides it slowly through my core, coating himself in my wetness, every brush against my clit like little shockwaves of pleasure. Slowly pushing the tip in, he looks down at me, my eyes wide at the intrusion but it feels so good.
“Are you sure?” he says, and I know he doesn’t mean just about moving in. He means about this, about us.
“Yes, Harris. I’m sure,” I say, gripping his hips with my hands and pulling him down toward me, forcing him to slide in just a bit further. “I want you to fuck me. Fuck me like you?—”
“Like I love you? Fucking easy,” he says as he slides deep inside of me, feeding me every last inch of his cock until I’m completely full of him. Pulling back out, he thrusts back in slowly, starting off at a pace that has me desperate.
My hands find his back, searching for purchase as my nails claw down his skin. With every thrust he’s slowly building me up, pushing me inch by inch closer to orgasm, a journey so intense that each thrust in almost too overwhelming.
This man is building my orgasm from scratch, brick by brick he’s putting in the work, teasing my body in only a way he can, his words just as erotic, just as sensual as his touches, together working in tandem to overwhelm my senses as everything works in overdrive.
I can feel every touch. Taste the tension in the air. Taste him. Fireworks are dancing around my body, around my vision as little flashes of white and black start to cloud my vision.
With his thumb now on my clit, his pace picks up as one hand slides beneath my ass and lifts me, just enough to change the angle perfectly.
“Holy fuck,” I groan out.
“Everything okay, wife?” he asks, and I feel my pussy pulse at his words, involuntary clenching that he obviously feels. “You’re suffocating my cock right now. Do you like it when I call you my wife?”
Nodding, I pull his lips down to mine and kiss him, his pace picking up quickly, no longer unhurried. My toes start to tingle and in one split second I’m drowning, overdosing on pure ecstasy of this orgasm, clawing at his body as my entire body clenches, I feel like I’m floating. Like I’m having an out of body experience where I’m watching this all happen to me and can’t quite get grounded.
Immediately after I fall over the edge, Harris follows, pounding in me wildly as we both freefall through pleasure, until finally he’s still. His forehead falls to mine, his eyes closed, as we both bask in silence, attempting to catch our breath.
It’s intense, intimate, and full of the emotions we’ve shoved down that are no longer fine with being ignored. The love I have for Harris is no longer fine being pushed down, it wants to be front and center where I can no longer ignore it.
Reaching up, I run my fingers down his cheek, loving the way his face melts into my hand, his eyes fluttering open with the sweetest smile on his face.
“Hi,” he says quietly, before rolling off me, pulling me along with him.
“Hi,” I say, the words I want to say on the tip of my tongue, but I’m scared. I’m scared that I’ll say the words and maybe, just maybe, he’s changed his mind and then I’m going to feel like an idiot because I’ve ruined everything.
But it doesn’t feel like it’s one sided.
Leaning forward he presses a kiss to my lips, a soft, slow kiss that’s tender and sweet and I’m filled with so much love that I can’t hide it. I can’t not tell him.
“Harris, I—” I start, but he beats me to it.
“I love you, Avery,” he says with a smile. “I never stopped loving you, not one single minute have I ever felt anything but pure love for you, even after everything that happened between us. I couldn’t bring myself to be mad or hate you, I just wanted you to be happy. For the longest time, I thought you were. I thought you were in love and living the life you chose. Knowing we wasted years away from each other because of some dickwad makes me crazy, but being here with you, our baby in your belly, my ring on your finger… there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I’ll continue to love you more and more every day because you’re it for me.”
My eyes brimmed with tears and my heart racing a million miles an hour, I smile so big there’s no chance he doesn’t realize how happy he just made me.
“I love you too, husband,” I say, leaning down to kiss the ring I bought him even when I thought this was all a joke. “More than I ever thought possible. You’re everything to me and all those years we spent apart, there was always something missing in my life. You.”
“Always,” he says, his eyes sparkling with pure uncontained happiness that reminds me of all those years ago before life jaded us.
“Want to see something?”
“Yeah?” he says skeptically.
“Take your ring off.”
Slowly he slides his ring off and places it into my hand. With a smile, I spin it around until I point out the simple engraving I begged the guy to do the same day.
Always.
He stares at it for a moment, and I swear I see his eyes fill with tears before he blinks them away. The quote we always told each other every time we said I love you. Always. I couldn’t not put it on his ring, real or not, he deserved to know the truth.
I’ve always loved him, and I always will.
In a flash, he’s sliding his ring back on his finger and climbing back on top of me.
“What are you doing?”
“Fucking my wife this time. I’ve gotta a lot of time to make up for.”
“Good thing we’ve got a life time to get there.”