3. Thea
3
THEA
The bakery buzzed with the hum of the breakfast crowd. This and the lunch rush were usually my favorite parts of the day. They were busy enough that I lost myself in the steady pace of taking orders and delivering food. I didn’t have time to think about anything but the next task.
But not today.
Today, all I could think about was Shepard Colson. The way his eyes twinkled when he teased. How the early morning sun had caught on his hair, making those hints of auburn beneath the deep brown flare to life. And the expanse of muscle he’d exposed as he pulled his ruined T-shirt over his head.
“Earth to Thea.”
I jolted at Sutton’s teasing voice. “Sorry, what?”
She pressed her lips together to keep from smiling. “Walter has an order up.”
The cook in his mid-seventies gave me a wave and a wink.
“Sorry,” I mumbled again.
“It’s almost like something has you off your game,” Sutton singsonged. “Or maybe it’s some one .”
I couldn’t help the slight stiffening of my muscles—the tension that wove through them like strands of steel wool. “I just didn’t get enough sleep last night,” I muttered, grabbing the two plates Walter had waiting.
I dashed around Sutton and moved straight to the table with a couple from out of town. “Here you go. Did you need anything else?”
The woman beamed up at me. “I think we’re good. This looks amazing.”
I did my best to answer her smile with one of my own but was only marginally successful. “Just flag me down if you change your mind.”
By the time I rounded the counter again, Sutton had finished ringing up her customer and turned to face me. “He likes you.”
That tension pulled tighter. “Who?” I played dumb, moving to the bakery case to adjust our stock.
“Thea,” Sutton said, leaning against the back counter laden with completed orders.
“Hmmm?” I kept straightening the pastries until they would’ve passed a drill sergeant’s inspection.
Sutton didn’t say anything. It was the ultimate mom move—waiting me out until I was forced to straighten and look her way. But when I did, it was to find nothing but gentleness and a hint of worry on her face.
That was worse. I didn’t want Sutton looking deeper. I knew she already saw more than I should’ve allowed. But that happened when you started letting people in. She and Rhodes had both seen the cracks in my fa?ade.
“He’s a good man,” Sutton said softly. “Did you know he helped me with a few things around here for nothing just because he saw me struggling with the reno on my own?”
My stomach twisted. I hadn’t known that, but I wasn’t surprised. Rhodes had shared more than a few stories about the ways her brother went above and beyond for the people he cared about. But I didn’t want to know. Not when I already felt the buzz of attraction. That hum was dangerous, potentially lethal. Which meant one thing: I needed to stay far away.
“I’m not interested in dating,” I told Sutton. “Not Shep or anyone else.”
She sighed. “I get it. I really do. I know what it’s like to get burned. It makes you hesitant to put your hand anywhere near the stove again.”
Understatement of the century. “I’m good, Sutton. Really. It’s just not something I’m looking for.” And I was good. Having Brendan destroy so much only made me value what I had now all the more. Moose, my home, my garden, even the tendrils of friendship I’d found with Sutton and Rhodes. I didn’t need more.
Sutton’s lips pressed together as if she were holding back something she desperately wanted to say. Then she gave in to the temptation. “I just don’t want you to miss out on something amazing because you’re scared. Men like Shep are one in a million.”
I studied her for a moment, something that felt a whole lot like jealousy flaring to life. “Do you like him?”
Sutton’s eyes flared. “No! Not like that. He’s a friend. That’s it. But I’ve seen the way he watches you.”
I stiffened again, and Sutton saw it.
“Not in a creepy way. Like he’d give anything to simply have you look his way.”
I bit the inside of my cheek. I knew I had to give Sutton something, or she’d never let this go. And I desperately needed her to set it down. “I just can’t.” I let my eyes bore into hers, imploring. “It’s not in the cards for me.”
Because even if a man were the best person on the planet, my mind would play tricks on me. Wonder when he’d turn. I’d constantly be looking for the ulterior motive beneath the kindness. And always asking how he might eventually destroy me.
That wouldn’t be fair to anyone. And it wasn’t something I wanted to live through either. Not again .
Sutton’s expression fell, but she reached out and squeezed my hand. “Okay. But I’m always here. Whatever you need.”
I nodded. “Thank you.”
“Can you take the counter? I think my cake has cooled enough for me to frost.”
“Of course.” Guilt surged at the rush of relief I felt at her distance. But I needed some time to shore up my defenses. They had gotten perilously thin.
As Sutton disappeared into the kitchen, she and Walter started singing along to an old Tim McGraw ballad. I wiped down the counters and the bakery case, scouring every speck and spot and trying to think about anything but the fact that I was lonely. There was no way for me not to be when no one in Sparrow Falls knew who I truly was.
The sound of footsteps had me straightening and tossing the rag into the sink. I forced a smile, greeting the regular. “Morning, Raina.”
She gave me the same hesitant smile she always did, her light brown hair sweeping her face as if shielding her from the world. “Morning.”
“Nutella muffin and an Earl Grey tea?” I asked.
Raina nodded, her hair shifting to reveal more of her hazel eyes. Her makeup was subdued, but she clearly had an expert hand in applying it. Still, I could see the hint of a bruise beneath the concealer, right across her cheekbone.
A burn lit in my throat. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen something like this: a bruise on her arm peeking out from under her sleeve, a scattering of discoloration on her wrist as she paid. But I’d never seen anything on her face until today.
Raina handed me a ten-dollar bill. “Keep the change.”
“Thank you,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady as I hit buttons on the cash register. A buzz flared in my ears, and my mind raced. Maybe I was seeing zebras when the truth was horses.
I didn’t know the first thing about Raina, other than the fact that she was about my age, quiet, and ordered the same thing every day. Maybe she was into kickboxing or had taken a softball to the cheek. Or…it could be something darker .
Possibilities swirled as I picked up a muffin with the tongs and slipped it into a bag. It only took a matter of seconds to prepare her tea after that. Turning to face her, I pasted a bright expression on my face. “Here you go.”
Raina answered with that same tentative smile. “Thank you.”
I tried to read beneath her words and see if there was some silent cry for help, but I couldn’t read anything as she took her breakfast and headed for the door. There was nothing but the calm, quiet exterior I saw most mornings.
But I knew what it was like to paint a picture for the outside world that was so opposite of what you actually felt. I’d been so good at it that I sometimes believed the lies. Until it all came crashing down.
Only Brendan’s weapons hadn’t been fists. They’d been words and manipulations. He’d left no bruises. And the scars burned into me weren’t anything the eye could see.
Which only made me feel crazy, just like he’d said I was.
And it was all a reminder of why I needed to stay far away from Shep Colson—or any man like him. Because if something seemed too good to be true, it usually was. And even if it wasn’t, I’d be too scared to reach for it anyway.