11. Thea
11
THEA
A loud bang sounded, and I jumped, almost bungling the frosting I was coloring a light shade of pink.
Walter glanced at me from the wash station, concern written all over his face. “Sorry about that. You all right?”
All he’d done was set a pot in the sink—something he’d done countless times before. But today, it had almost made me give myself a frosting facial.
It didn’t matter that Sutton had told me all about the vandalizing teens on the car ride home and said the tire prank was right in line with the other things they’d done. I was on edge. My gaze jumped from one thing to the next. I analyzed every person who came into the bakery, searching for anything that might mean danger.
I couldn’t turn it off. Couldn’t get my body to simply relax. My muscles felt more like cement than sinew.
Still, I forced a smile for the man who treated me like a granddaughter. “I’m good. I didn’t sleep the best last night. I’m a little out of it. ”
All of that was true. I’d just left out the reasons for it all.
The lines around Walter’s eyes deepened as he squinted, trying to read me. “Make sure you take some of our Sleepytime tea home. That always does the trick for me. Maybe put a pinch of bourbon in it.”
My lips twitched as I moved to cover the icing and set it at Sutton’s decorating station. “I’m pretty sure it’s the bourbon sending you to sleep land.”
Walter grinned and headed back to the stove. “A little bit of the good stuff never hurt anybody.”
It had been so long since I’d had a drink. Even though I’d been in Sparrow Falls for almost two years without any trouble, I still didn’t consume anything that might dull my reaction time. I couldn’t afford to.
My drug of choice was reading. The books I picked up from the secondhand store for a nickel, or the ones I checked out from the library, thanks to Sutton’s library card. The subject matter varied widely: murder mysteries, tales from other planets, and my favorite, epic romances. But I had one rule. There had to be a happy ending. There was enough hardship in the real world. I needed hope in my stories.
So, when I couldn’t sleep last night, I’d picked up a book about a grumpy, single-dad cowboy who was falling for his nanny despite his heroic efforts not to. It had kept me company until three in the morning, when I finally drifted off.
I patted Walter’s shoulder as I moved through the kitchen toward the register. “We all deserve more than a little of the good stuff.”
He grinned at me. “Damn straight, girlie.”
I chuckled as I headed behind the counter. With a quick survey, I found that Sutton was drowning. She was moving from table to table, clearing and wiping, but two other people were in line at the register.
I stepped up and smiled at a woman standing there—the same one who’d been talking with Shep the day I’d dumped icing on him. “Hi, Mara. What’ll it be?”
She smiled, the action full of warmth. Everything about her fit that persona. With golden-blond hair and cornflower blue eyes, she was beautiful. And her delicate features and petite form created the kind of figure that made men want to protect her.
Just looking at her made me feel anything but that. With my long, gangly limbs and dingy clothes, I felt like a shabby giant next to her.
“I’ll take a caramel latte with an extra shot, please. And a slice of lemon poppyseed bread.”
I nodded, selecting the items on the tablet screen. “That’ll be nine fifty.”
Mara pulled out a credit card and held it to the reader. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” I hurried to fill her order, but as I did, I caught sight of a newcomer in the bakery. Rhodes’ wild, dark hair was piled in a knot on the top of her head, and she was dressed in her Bloom T-shirt and shorts. The moment she saw me, her face brightened, and she waved.
I couldn’t help the frisson of nerves I felt as she moved to get in line. I knew she’d planned to talk to Shep and ask him to take pity on me and help with the leak. Part of me hoped he’d said no. Then, I wouldn’t have to wrestle with the beast that was my anxiety about having someone in my space.
The other part of me, the smarter bit, prayed he’d agreed. This morning, I’d had to stop at a campground for a shower. And I was currently flushing my toilets with buckets of water I’d filled in the greenhouse. I needed to find that leak and stat.
Sutton hurried behind the counter, shaking me out of my spiraling thoughts. She squeezed my arm as she passed. “I’ll do drinks. What’d she order?”
“Caramel latte, extra shot.”
“Got it.”
I hurried to hand Mara her slice of poppyseed bread. “There you go. Your drink will be up in just a second.”
I felt her gaze on me, probing. Not in a rude way, but curious. It made sense with the tail end of the fight she’d caught between Shep and me, but I didn’t like the intense focus. So, I ignored it.
“Thank you,” Mara said. Even her voice was musical and delicate .
I headed back to the register and took the order of a man who looked like he’d been hiking all morning. The fact that he ordered half the menu was more proof of that. Once he was settled, I looked at Rhodes.
She grinned at me. “Just gets busier and busier.”
I nodded, thankful no one was behind her, and I didn’t have to rush. “Tourist season is still in full swing.”
“True enough.” Rhodes glanced toward the bakery case. “Cherry Coke cupcakes. I gotta try one of those.”
One corner of my mouth kicked up. “I have to say, I was skeptical when Sutton whipped up that recipe, but they’re amazing.”
Rhodes pulled a small card wallet from her pocket. “I have no doubt. Sutton has a mad genius brain when it comes to baking.”
“I heard that,” Sutton called from the coffee machine.
Rhodes laughed. “I’ll never understand how you do it.”
“One-track mind,” Sutton answered. “Always thinking about sugar.”
“And we’re damn thankful for that,” Rhodes shot back, then turned to me as she paid, a grin pulling at her lips. “Shep said he’s happy to help with your project.”
Relief and panic swept through me in equal measure. “Okay,” I said, my voice tight as if my throat was strangling the word.
Rhodes saw the strain and reached across the counter, laying her hand over mine. “He’ll have it fixed in no time, and then you won’t have to stress anymore. You get off at three, right?”
I nodded quickly. I’d had to take my car today since my bike was still without tires. “I need to grab one thing on my way home, so I’m there any time after four.”
“I’ll let him know,” Rhodes said, releasing my hand.
The fact that I didn’t have a phone to text him with just made me feel like more of a freak. I did have one of those pay-as-you-go deals shoved into my nightstand, just in case I needed the fire department or the police. But it was one I’d bought with cash at a gas station just before I got to the Oregon state line.
I hadn’t powered the thing up since moving to Sparrow Falls. So, who knew if it even still worked. And the fact that it was a flip phone meant sending a text would take a half hour.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
Something prickled on the back of my neck, a telltale sign that someone was watching.
I did a quick scan of the room, and my eyes landed back on Mara. She was staring again as if trying to put pieces together.
Shit.
The last thing I needed was someone digging into me. When I moved here, I’d begun going by my middle name, hoping that would give me a modicum of protection. But it wasn’t like I had some elaborate fake identity to protect me. If anyone had my first name and did a quick Google search, they’d find everything—including the photos that showed it all.
Bile swirled in my stomach as the heat of shame rose to my cheeks. But I shoved it all down. I hadn’t broken yet, and I wouldn’t start today.
Instead, I got Rhodes her cupcake and added a second to the box. “One for Anson. On me.”
Rhodes grinned. “If you’re not careful, the two of you are going to become besties.”
I snorted at that. Rhodes’ boyfriend was as surly as they came, but the way he melted around her was a sight to behold. “I don’t think there’s any risk of that. His communication skills are limited to grunts and scowls.”
Rhodes burst out laughing. “Come on, he’s getting better at using his words.”
That was true enough. Because she’d changed him. Healed something in him that had brought him back to life. And that was the most precious gift.
I handed her the bakery box just as Sutton offered Mara her latte. Rhodes grinned at me. “Thanks, Thea.” She gave the woman next to her a little wave. “Good to see you, Mara.” And then she bowed toward Sutton. “Thank you, supreme queen of all baked goods.”
Sutton burst out laughing. “I love her. ”
“Me, too,” I echoed as Mara followed Rhodes to the door.
Sutton turned to face me. “So, you’re actually going to let Shep help you?”
“Eavesdrop much?” I muttered.
Sutton just grinned. “Gotta get my info somehow.”
I knew she was joking, but I still couldn’t stop a little prickle of guilt from surfacing. She’d been so good to me, and all I’d given her were lies and half-truths.
All amusement fled Sutton’s face. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing.”
She sent a stern look my way. “You look like someone just stabbed you. That’s not nothing .”
I swallowed hard, trying to loosen my tightening throat. “I just…I’m not good with people in my space.”
Sutton’s brows pulled together. “And Shep will have to be in your house to fix the leak and the damage it caused.”
I nodded. It wasn’t the whole truth, but it was more than I’d ever given her before.
Sutton leaned against the bakery case. “Do you know how Shep started helping me with the reno on this place?”
I shook my head.
“He was walking by and saw me trying to lug a section of banquette on my own. He didn’t even pause. Just came right up and said, ‘I’ve got the other end.’” Sutton smiled. “When we got the first one in, he asked where the rest of them were. I was in so far over my head that I didn’t even argue. When we were done, he asked me to walk him through my plans. So, I did.”
Sutton chuckled, shaking her head at the memory. “He didn’t tell me I was out of my mind to try to handle it on my own. He just said, ‘Might help to have two sets of hands for some of this. I can give you my Saturdays this month and have my guys help place the beams when they’re delivered.’”
She turned to me then, and I saw her eyes shining with unshed tears. “Just like that. Never asked for anything in return. Helped every weekend for a month. A few nights, too. Sent over a paint sprayer so I could do the walls ten times faster. He’s a good man, Thea.”
“I know,” I whispered, my throat in a vise grip. “But I thought another man was good once. He turned out to be anything but. Now, I can’t get myself to trust, no matter how much I want to.”
Sutton’s eyes flashed, and her hand snaked out to take mine. She held it so tightly I lost all circulation. “I know how that is, Thea. I know what it’s like to think life is one thing and for all of that to change in a split second.”
My heart hammered against my ribs because there was a fire in Sutton’s gaze—flames of anger and hurt.
“But we can’t let one bad experience sour the rest of our lives. We can’t let the bad win. Make us stop living. If we lock ourselves down, we don’t just keep out the bad. We keep out the good, too.”
My eyes burned, the pain of her words striking deep. Because I knew she was right. I’d locked my fortress up tight. It meant I was safe, but it also meant I was alone.
I paced my front yard. Back and forth, and back again. It was a miracle I hadn’t dug a trench in the graveled dirt with my boots.
I’d done everything I could think to do over the past hour and a half. After stopping to buy a new set of bike tires that put a hole in my reserves, I’d come home, settled the kittens, and played with Moose. Then I’d refilled my hummingbird feeders, but the deft escape artists hadn’t enchanted me like they usually did. So, I’d headed to the greenhouse to water my plants and pull weeds. After that, I’d moved to weed pulling and watering in the flower beds around the house. My gardens were in pristine condition, but I still had more nervous energy than I knew what to do with.
The sound of an engine had my head snapping up. The road leading to my house had plenty of tree cover, but that also meant I couldn’t see who was coming until they were close. But the gravel meant I heard them .
Finally, a silver truck came into view as it rounded the final turn. The way the sun hit the metallic paint made it seem more perfect. Somehow, the vehicle was impeccably clean, despite the fact that I knew Shep drove dirt roads on the regular. Shiny and perfect, just like the man himself.
I glanced down at myself. I was wearing Carhartt overalls with dirt on the knees and smudges across the stomach. The tank top I had on beneath had seen better days, too. I tried to tell myself that my messy state was for the best, but a part of me wished I’d opted for the one pair of nice jeans I had and at least a clean shirt.
A door shut, making my head snap up to see Shep striding toward me. He wore dark jeans that hugged his hips and revealed muscular thighs as he walked. His white tee strained across a defined chest that was all lean muscle. The ballcap he wore read Colson Construction and hid his amber eyes from view, but I felt them on me.
I swallowed hard as he came to a stop a few feet from me. “Hi,” I squeaked.
“Hey, Thorn,” he said, his voice rough.
I let out a breath, trying to calm my racing heart. “Thanks for, um, coming back.”
“It’s no problem. Water still off?”
I nodded.
He frowned. “Have you been staying somewhere else?”
I shook my head. Apparently, I’d lost the ability to form words. Even though Shep was feet away, his scent teased my nose. He smelled like sawdust, cedar, and a hint of sweat. The combination was somehow the best thing I’d ever smelled.
But Shep wasn’t nearly as happy. His mouth twisted into a scowl. “You’ve been staying in a house with no water?”
I tried swallowing again, hoping it would clear my throat. “I’ve still got water in the greenhouse. I’ve been bringing it over to the house.”
A muscle ticked along Shep’s jaw. “We’re gonna get this fixed so you can have water in your goddamned house again.”
The ferocity behind his words had me taking a step back. It was instinct, and I couldn’t have stopped it if I tried. But my action made Shep freeze. Even though I couldn’t see his eyes, I saw pain streaking across his face. He, too, took a step back.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “Not mad at you. Mad at the fact that you’ve got no water in your house. No one should live that way.”
My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth, but I managed to get my vocal cords to work. “It’s really okay. It’s like camping.”
Shep’s mouth looked like it was trying to smile but couldn’t quite get there. “I guess that’s one way to look at it.” His hands moved as he took off his ballcap and flipped it around so I could finally see those beautiful amber eyes. “You think you’re ready for me to go inside and have a look at the bathroom?”
The moment he spoke, I lost the awe I felt at seeing those gorgeous eyes. Because panic was setting in. Memories pounded against the carefully constructed walls in my mind. The aftermath of letting someone into my home before. The voice that echoed in my head. “You ruin everything.”
Shep’s jaw clenched, and then he forced it to release. “Okay, no inside today. There’s plenty I can do out here. I’ll dig around the waterline and see if I can figure out what we’re dealing with. We’ll just take it one step at a time. You’re in charge.”
A burn lit behind my eyes, fiercer this time, and I couldn’t stop the tears from welling. “Why are you putting up with me?” I asked, my voice little more than a hoarse whisper.
Shep’s eyes locked with mine. “Because everything about you screams that you’ve been fighting alone for too damn long, Thorn. You need someone to help carry the weight for a little while. I might not be able to fix everything, but I can help carry the load.”