21. Thea
21
THEA
I stared out Shep’s truck window at the fields stretching out around us. Ones that led to forests and then mountains. The way the grasses moved in the breeze was soothing.
I let myself be swept away as Shep drove. He didn’t push or ask questions. He didn’t speak at all. He simply let me be, seeming to understand that I needed the quiet to recover. My head pulsed with a low-grade headache, and my eyes burned so badly I’d had to take out my contacts.
But it didn’t matter. Shep knew who I was now. There was no need to hide. I saw better without them anyway. They weren’t bad to wear, but they occasionally distorted my vision. Now, I could see everything clearly.
The majestic beauty of Castle Rock and the Monarch Mountains. The way the land dipped and rolled, leading up to them both. I’d never get tired of looking at it all. So different from the gridlock of LA.
Shep flipped on his blinker, even though no one else was on the road as far as the eye could see. It made my lips twitch. A rule-follower. A good guy through and through.
We stayed on the gravel road for about five minutes before coming to what looked like a brand-new gate. Shep rolled down his window and punched a code into a keypad. A second later, the gate swung open.
The moment it did, I caught sight of something in the distance. The house looked as if it had taken a beating by wind, rain, and snow. Even this far away, I saw the sort of grayish brown that spoke of standing through trial after trial.
The color fit. It made the house almost melt into the golden grasses around it. Especially since there wasn’t another structure for as far as I could see.
“What is this place?” I asked, my voice sounding rusty like I was sure the hinges on every door of this house were.
“It’s mine. My latest project.”
I forced my gaze away from the home and back to Shep. “You bought it?”
He nodded. “Closed a couple of weeks ago. Been starting rehab with Anson, but it might take us a decade.”
“You’re flipping it?”
“That’s the plan. Though I think it’s gonna be hard to say goodbye to this one. She’s got a pull.”
My focus moved back to the house. She sure did. There was a majesty to her that mirrored the breathtaking landscape. And the closer we got, the more I was entranced. “How old?”
“Around the time the area was settled. Mid to late 1800s.”
“Wow.” It was more sound than word. So much history. How special to be a part of that.
The moment Shep put his truck in park, I was out of the vehicle and moving to get a better look at the place. I edged closer. Not able to help myself, I put a palm directly on the siding. It was rough, the wood almost peeling in places. And I could see now that it had been white at one point in time .
“Gonna have to redo all this siding,” Shep said, moving in next to me.
“The color suits her.”
I felt his gaze dip to me. “I think you’re right. Makes it feel like the house just sprouted from the earth itself.”
I nodded, trailing my fingers over the wood planks. “Like she belongs.”
We were quiet for a moment, and then Shep asked, “You want to go inside?”
The corners of my mouth pulled up in a hint of a smile. “What do you think?”
He chuckled. “I was hoping that would be the answer.”
Shep led me across mangled landscape and to the broken front steps. There was a combination lock affixed to the door that he quickly sorted, then he glanced over his shoulder. “Brace. She looks a little rough in her current state.”
He shouldn’t have warned me because the moment I stepped inside, I was awestruck. Even beneath the dust and peeling wallpaper, I saw the beauty in her bones. The rich woodwork, the ornate staircase, the high ceilings.
But there was a closed-in feeling. A formality that came with lots of rooms for countless purposes the rich likely had back then.
“I see the doubt in your face, but listen to my plan.” Shep was already moving deeper into the house before I could argue. “We’re knocking out all these walls.” He tapped on one where some drywall had already been taken down. “Look what’s on the other side.”
I followed him through a set of open double doors to a large, formal living room with endless windows.
“We’re taking these old windows out and putting in new, energy-efficient ones. This whole back wall will be glass, like you’re living on top of that field back there. Then this wall goes down, too, because the kitchen is on the other side. Then you suddenly have an open-concept kitchen and living room, and all you see when you walk in the door is nature. ”
I could see the picture Shep painted with his words. And it was breathtaking. “You’re melding the old with the new.”
He nodded, a smile on his face like a kid at Christmas. “I’m keeping all the old woodwork. Upstairs, we’re knocking out a few walls to expand some of the smaller rooms. There were thirteen bedrooms.”
My eyes went wide.
Shep chuckled. “I know. What would anyone do with thirteen bedrooms nowadays?”
“Have a lot of kids?”
He grinned. “That’s one way to deal with it. But I’d prefer fewer, more spacious rooms. And I’ll probably take some of them out to expand the bathrooms and build out some closets. They weren’t much for closets in the 1800s.”
I made a humming noise. I didn’t give a damn about closets, but bathrooms were another thing altogether. “You need a bathtub in front of a massive window with this view.”
I always knew when Shep’s eyes were on me. I could feel the smoky heat of the contact. But this time, that connection burned a bit hotter.
“Bath girl, huh?”
I moved to the window. “Nothing feels better after a long day. But a tub with this view?” I let out a low whistle. “I’d never get out.”
“Good to know,” Shep said, his voice going a bit husky around the edges.
I turned to face him and got caught in the hold of his gaze. I’d been right about the heat. I swore I could see golden flames flickering in those amber depths. But Shep didn’t move. Didn’t approach. He just watched me, letting that beautiful burn skate over my skin.
“Thanks for bringing me here.”
The heat in his gaze melted into gentleness. “Had a feeling you might like it. I also thought you might want to help me break some shit after a day like today.”
That startled a laugh out of me. “Break some shit?”
Shep nodded. “What do you say, Thorn? Want to help me tear down this wall so we can build something better? ”
A memory flashed in my mind. One of Shep and me on my back deck, him telling me about how his dad had taught him to process his feelings. Through hands-on work. He was trying to give me the same thing.
“I could smash some walls.”
A grin spread across Shep’s face. “Let’s do some damage.”
He crossed to an organized pile of tools and various construction gear. Rummaging through some things, he came back with a pair of goggles similar to what I’d worn in high school chemistry class. He pulled them over my head, settling them in place, his hands stilling.
I sucked in a breath as I took Shep in, all that strength and tenderness. Then his hands were gone, pulling his own goggles into place. He handed me a sledgehammer. “Aim this at anything along this wall.” He gestured to a wide expanse of exposed beams and drywall. “We’ve already cleared any pipes and electrical.”
Standing there for a long moment, I took it all in. Force and violence had never been things I’d been comfortable with, especially after my time with Brendan. But I also knew I needed to let some of the ugliness bubbling inside me out—release it before it swallowed me whole.
I moved before I could stop myself, swinging my sledgehammer with all the force I could muster. It landed with a vicious thwack against a two-by-four. The board cracked and splintered.
Power surged inside me as the anger and fear I’d shoved down for so long spilled out through my limbs. I hit the wood again, over and over, until I brought the beam down altogether. I moved on to the next and the next until my arms ached, and my breathing became ragged.
Slowly, I came back to myself and turned to seek out Shep.
He beamed at me. “How do you feel?”
I took a mental survey, and shock settled into me. “I feel amazing.”
But it was so much more than that. It was Shep being there for me. Listening without judging. Trying to understand and help.
If I wasn’t careful, I could fall for a man like Shepard Colson. I just wasn’t sure if he’d do the same with me. Not if he knew everything.