25. Thea
25
THEA
What the hell was I doing? Apparently, I had no control over my vocal cords because they just spat out words like stay here . That was a horrible, no good, very bad idea.
I’d be on edge the whole time. Or worse, I’d throw myself at Shep.
Because watching him walk around in those white tees that hinted at the planes of muscle I’d stalked through my window as he worked in my yard would be more than I could take. And what if he wore them with gray sweatpants around the house? Good God, I’d be powerless.
Shep stared down at me, those amber eyes searching. “Thorn. You only let me in your house for the first time a few days ago. Not sure you’re ready for that.”
God, he was such a good guy. Which was why I took a deep breath and said, “I’m sure.”
He kept watching me for a moment .
“Really,” I pressed. “It’ll be nice to be able to pay you back for a fraction of what you’ve been doing for me.”
That was apparently the wrong thing to say because Shep scowled. “You don’t owe me anything.”
I pinned him with a stare of my own. “I know you’re charging me about one-tenth what you should be.”
I’d gone to the hardware store on my break from Bloom the other day and perused the aisles. The prices were a heck of a lot higher than what Shep had said. Way more than a discount could make up for.
His gaze shifted to the side, and I knew I was right.
“Let me do this for you. I’ve got a guest room with your name on it. We’ll have to share the bathroom, and I know it’s not as fancy as you’re used to, but?—”
Shep’s eyes shot back to me, cutting off my words. “If you think there’s anywhere I’d rather be than here, you’re dead wrong.”
My breath hitched at the fire in his eyes, a mixture of annoyance and something else that had warmth stirring low. Shep had parts of me I hadn’t been sure still existed coming back to life. Parts I only remembered when I was reading an especially good romance—one that reminded me there were still happily ever afters out there, even if they were just in the pages of a book.
“Is that a yes?”
He grinned. “It’s a hell yes.”
A laugh bubbled out of me. “Okay, then.”
My hand started to slip from his chest, but Shep caught it, pressing it against his pec. “Thea, I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable. So, you set the rules. I’ll follow them. Whatever you need.”
Such a good guy. Too good for me to reach for, but I was doing it anyway.
“You don’t make me feel uncomfortable. You make me want…more.”
Those amber eyes flashed gold. “More.”
I nodded.
“I like more.” Shep’s fingers curled around mine. “Thank you, Thea. ”
“You’re welcome.”
He squeezed my hand. “Now, how about I take you to dinner?”
“Dinner?” I squeaked.
“Nothing fancy,” Shep assured me. “What about The Pop? The food’s a hell of a lot better hot off the grill.”
I’d never eaten at The Pop. I’d gotten takeout or stared at the adorable interior through the windows, but I’d never actually sat in one of the red booths. I’d never wanted to risk people making small talk or getting curious about me. But I was done with that. If I wanted more, I had to reach for it. Which meant I could only say one thing.
“Okay.”
Shep pulled his truck into a parking spot in front of the fifties-era diner with a neon-accented teal and red sign that read The Soda Pop . It wasn’t packed since it was still early, but it wasn’t empty either. I rubbed my suddenly damp palms on my jeans.
They were the nicest pair I had. I’d asked Shep to wait while I got cleaned up. He’d said I could go just like I was, but I wasn’t about to do that. So, after I got Moose and the kittens situated, I’d done the best I could in twenty minutes.
Dark jeans and a white, cap-sleeve blouse with little lace accents. I’d even slicked on a little eye shadow, mascara, and some lip gloss. And yet again, I’d decided to leave the contacts behind. Because I wanted to be brave. Wanted to be me . When I stepped outside, Shep had done a head-to-toe scan and said, “If this is what you do with twenty minutes, I’m in trouble.”
My stomach had done a series of acrobatics befitting a Cirque du Soleil show at that. But now I wondered why I thought I was so damn brave. What if someone recognized me as Brendan’s ex, or worse, from one of those sites ? Bile surged, but I swallowed it down.
A hand slipped around mine, fingers weaving. The action was so simple but grounding, making us stronger together than either of us was apart. “If this is too much, I can call in a to-go order and we can take it on a picnic somewhere quiet.”
My gaze moved from the diner to Shep. There was so much understanding in his face. “I want to go inside. I’ve always wanted to eat here. They have those little jukeboxes on the tables.”
A grin pulled at Shep’s mouth. “I think I’ve even got a few nickels to put in a song request or two.” He studied me for a second. “Here’s the deal. If it gets to be too much at any point, just say you need to go. I’ll get the check, and we’ll be gone. We’re going for more but not at the risk of pain.”
There was pain right then. But it was the beautiful kind. The kind that came from a man giving you the sort of understanding you didn’t ever think you’d get. “Sometimes, it’s worth it. Because what’s on the other side is that much sweeter for what you’ve gone through.”
Shep’s thumb swept back and forth across my hand. “Love the way you see the world.” He gave my hand one more squeeze and then let go. “Stay there.”
My brows pulled together as Shep hopped out of the truck and rounded the front. Then he opened my door and smiled.
That flipping sensation was back in my belly. “Such a gentleman.”
Shep’s hand closed around mine again the second my feet were on the pavement. “Sometimes,” he whispered in my ear.
A shiver skated over my skin, the kind that held all sorts of promise. Get ahold of yourself.
If I couldn’t even make it inside a diner without jumping the man, how would I handle living with him?
As if reading my mind, Shep’s grin only widened as he led me toward The Pop.
“It’s not nice to gloat,” I snapped.
He barked out a laugh. “I like knowing I affect you.”
I gave him my best glare, and Shep only laughed harder.
Just as he was about to reach for the door handle, it opened. Shep took a step back to let the person out.
Mara.
Her blue eyes brightened as she caught sight of him, but that brightness dulled the instant she took in our joined hands. “Shep,” she croaked. “Thea. Good to see you.”
I didn’t miss the wince on Shep’s face. “You, too,” he said. “Takeout?”
Mara forced a smile. “Movie night with the girls. I’m on food duty.”
“That’ll be fun,” Shep said.
“Yeah.” Mara’s gaze slid to me and then back to Shep. “You guys have a good night.”
“You, too,” I mumbled.
Then she was gone, as fast as her feet could take her.
I looked up at Shep. “I feel like I just stabbed her.”
He shook his head quickly. “She and I haven’t been together for a really long time, and it never got serious.”
“She wanted it to.” It wasn’t a question. I’d seen the longing in Mara’s eyes, both when she and Shep happened to be at the bakery at the same time and now.
“Maybe,” Shep said honestly. “But I didn’t feel that way about her. It wasn’t…more.”
My breath hitched at that. But I understood.
He squeezed my hand. “Don’t let that run-in ruin our night. We need to eat our weight in fried food and milkshakes.”
Shep was right. This was supposed to be a good time. The first step toward normal. Toward a life . “That sounds perfect to me.”
He led us inside and toward an empty booth. I slid across the red leather, taking in the fifties charm as a woman in an era-appropriate pink dress with red accents approached. “Shepard Colson, as I live and breathe. I was starting to worry you’d forgotten all about us.”
“I’d never, Miss Sally.”
The woman with gray threaded through her hair laughed as she turned to me. “This one’s too charming for his own good.”
I couldn’t help but answer her smile with one of my own. “And cocky, too.”
Another laugh burst out of her. “I like you. Thea, right? You usually come in for takeout, though. Partial to the onion rings. ”
My body stiffened, but I breathed through it. This was normal. Small-town life. “Thought it was time to really get the full experience.”
“Love that,” Sally said. “You kids know what you want to drink?”
“I’ll take an Arnold Palmer,” Shep said. “What about you?”
“Diet Coke? I need time with the milkshake list.”
Sally grinned. “I’m partial to the birthday cake one. Sounds weird, tastes delicious.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Sally slid two menus onto our table. “Take your time. I’ll be back with your drinks.”
Shep didn’t look at the menu. His eyes stayed right on me. “Good?”
I nodded. “She’s nice.”
“She’s friends with my mom, so I know I’ll be getting a call from her, asking all about this.”
I tugged on the corner of my lip with my teeth. “Is that a bad thing?”
“Only that my mom will have eighty-two million questions, and I wouldn’t be surprised if she stops by the bakery.”
More deep breaths. Small-town life. Family that gave a damn. They were good things. I just had to reframe them in my mind. “If she does that, at least I can win her over with baked goods.”
Shep barked out a laugh. “Not a bad plan, actually.” He inclined his head toward the menu. “What are you thinking?”
I started to look down at the options, but something caught my eye across the way. The person stood down the street a little ways and wore a hoodie pulled up so you couldn’t see their face, but I swore they were staring right at me.
“Thea?”
My gaze jerked back to Shep. “Sorry, what?”
“Are you okay?” He turned to see what I’d been looking at, but when I followed his line of sight, no one was there.
“Fine. I just thought I saw…” I shook my head and took a deep breath. “Jumping at shadows. ”
Shep reached across the table and linked his fingers with mine. “Might be that way until you get used to this sort of thing.”
I nodded, looking over his shoulder. That was always the problem. I never knew when my mind was playing tricks on me and when it was right and telling me to run.