Chapter 25
Cooper
I don’t know when or how, but she’s going to be my wife one day.
My mind has been filled with nothing but Mae. A little part of me feels extremely guilty for it because my focus should be on Naomi, and the situation with Rebekah.
I can’t help it that my brain keeps bringing her up.
What is a man supposed to do when he’s weak for his woman?
I puff out a breath and go back to the text I started to Rebekah.
I decided they need to have another interaction when I’m present.
It’s not because I think Rebekah will hurt Naomi physically.
That has never been the case. But I want to make sure Naomi is comfortable.
Though I have to admit, Rebekah seemed more nervous than Naomi.
I text Rebekah that I’d like her to come over again, and she agrees immediately.
We set up a date and time, and then my mind slides right back to Mae and last night.
Cooper: What are you doing?
Bubbles pop up and then disappear. It’s difficult for me to understand why any man would have turned a woman like her down. It makes no sense. I’m already on my knees and we only got past third base.
The way we left things last night was nothing short of incredible.
Mae: Working in excel …. the bane of my existence
Cooper: Sounds sexy
Mae: HUGELY
Cooper: lol, you’re funny
Mae: So I’ve been told
Cooper: Is it too soon to say I missed you?
Mae: I mean, it’s been less than 24 hrs since you’ve seen me so arguably yes, but …
Cooper: But
Mae: I miss you too, but I wasn’t going to be the first one to admit it
I smile so hard my cheeks hurt staring at my phone. I like that she wants to be around me. It will probably help me on my mission to get her to stay.
Last night while I lay in bed, dazed and drunk on the scent of Mae, I came up with a plan. It is crazy. I admit that, but getting her to agree to stay in Paxton will also prove that there is something so real between us, it’s tangible.
Cooper: I’m happy to be the first to admit it
She types again, then it disappears, then bubbles pop up again. Her indecision is clear on the screen, and I have no idea what to expect.
Mae: I can’t stop thinking about last night
Cooper: Which part …
I know exactly what she’s talking about, but I want to mess with her, anyway.
Mae: Two can play that game.
Cooper: I have no idea what you’re talking about
Mae: So then you’d have no idea what I’m thinking about regarding you
Cooper: Honestly no
Mae: Let me put it this way… it had nothing to do with what you did to me last night
Cooper: I did it with you, stubborn
Mae: Then I was thinking of something else I want to do WITH you
My thighs tense and my stomach clenches. The list of things that could mean are infinite, and I’m hanging by a thread.
Cooper: You’re doing this on purpose
Mae: Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. But you’re busy, so it will have to wait.
Cooper: I will make time
Mae: Just tell me when
Cooper: Here’s a song to hold you over…
I find the one I heard the other day that made me think of her, and saved it for the right moment. This feels like that, and it’s from the 80s: The Cure’s Just Like Heaven.
Mae: You’re not smooth my ass…
I laugh and simultaneously groan, leaning my head back. This is torture. Worth it, but torture nonetheless, and unfortunately, she’s right. What we do with each other will have to wait.
***
I tuck Naomi into her bed, and she yawns, settling back into her covers.
Rebekah came over again, and it went really well.
She seemed to relax a little, and they both wouldn’t stop talking.
Rebekah asked her all kinds of questions, and Naomi was more than happy to tell her.
This time I stayed back, keeping a watchful eye, but letting them do their thing.
My goal is not to make this any harder for Rebekah, but making sure she doesn’t get Naomi’s hopes up is the real concern. But if my sister really has turned a page, then this is the next step into a new chapter for her, for both of them.
It’s gone so well I hesitated to call the lawyer again and withdraw my applications for full incontestable guardianship and adoption.
I’m not sure what’s right anymore. When I talked to Mae about it, she didn’t seem to have a strong opinion either way, but I think she simply held her tongue because she felt like it wasn’t her place to say.
I read Naomi her book and kiss her goodnight.
“Goodnight, Daddy,” she says, half asleep.
“Goodnight, princess. I love you.”
“I love you too,” she sighs.
I gently close the door behind me and plop down on the couch.
It makes sense Mae doesn’t want to give her opinion on something she’s not involved with, and I respect that.
But before I let this get any further, I need to ask her definitively where she’s at with a kid in the picture.
She didn’t give me a straight answer when I asked, but I didn’t want to push.
It’s a yes or no question. The details come after, and because I’m falling for Mae, I can’t afford to be devastated by anyone or anything when I have a child to raise. If she doesn’t like the fact that I have Naomi, then it was never going to work out.
I pick up my phone and dial Mae.
“Hello?” she says in a raspy voice, and it makes goosebumps rise on my skin.
“Hey stubborn, did I wake you up?” I ask her and wonder what it would be like to wake up next to that voice.
“I fell asleep on the couch, so I guess. But that’s okay. Is everything alright? Is Naomi okay?” she asks.
I smile to myself, the question already answered.
“I wanted to talk to you about something, but it can wait. Go to sleep, I’m sure you’re exhausted,” I tell her.
She sighs. “Well, I’m awake now, and you called for a reason,” she says.
“How was your day?” I ask her.
“Busy, I started some arrangements for the lookbook I told you about and did my best to photograph them because I don’t have a dime to spend on a photographer.
Then I called another venue, and they told me their vendor list was full.
I couldn’t even convince them to put me on their back up,” she says.
The defeat in her voice makes me want to take it away and carry the burden myself so she won’t have to. But this is something I can’t change for her, and I hate it.
“I’m sorry.”
She sighs. “Me too, but I’ll keep trying. I’m nothing if not tenacious.”
I chuckle, settling back into the cushions. “I’ve noticed.”
“Cooper?” she says.
“Hmm?”
“Not that I don’t like talking to you, but why did you call?”
I puff out a breath, feeling like an idiot for even questioning my instincts when it comes to her.
“Is wanting to hear your voice not good enough?” I ask her.
She’s silent on the other end, and I wonder if maybe that isn’t enough.
“I like hearing your voice too,” she says.
“Why does it sound like you’re scared?”
“Because I am,” she whispers.
“Remember, one day at a time, stubborn. We’re not thinking about next week right now.”
“I know,” she sighs.
I rub my face and decide I should ask her, even though I already know the answer. “I, uh, I wanted to talk to you about Naomi.”
“Okay, what about her?” she asks carefully.
I puff out a breath, feeling stupid for even talking to her about this. “I wanted to ask how you feel about me having a kid.”
“I, uh, don’t feel any type of way,” she says.
“Mae, tell me, please. I need — please,” I beg.
“Why?” she whispers.
I grit my teeth trying to come up with the right words. This conversation should be face to face, but I’m the one who called.
“I need to know,” I rasp.
“I love it,” she says.
I jerk back at the phone.
“I respect how devoted and protective you are of her. It’s hot, and it speaks to the kind of father you are. It, uh…” she trails off, and I wish she’d keep talking, but that’s probably as much as I’ll get out of her this time.
“You’re not bothered by the fact I can’t be with you all the time and we have to schedule things because I have to make sure Naomi is taken care of?” I ask her.
“Coop, if I wanted constant attention, I’d get a dog.”
“Woof.”
She snorts, and I shake my head.
“You really mean that? You don’t want me to … choose?”
She gasps. “Why in the world would I do that? I would never ask you to choose Naomi over me. If we…” she trails off, and I know she wants to say more, but she’s keeping her lid on tight.
“Thank you.”
“I don’t understand what you’re thanking me for,” she says.
“For being the woman I know you are,” I tell her. I felt it pretty quickly, and this conversation has only served to confirm it.
“Uh, you’re welcome?” she says as if it’s a question.
I smile and wish that things weren’t so complicated, but I know deep down it will be worth it in the end.
“I think I’m going to let Rebekah and Naomi have a sleepover,” I say, messing with a thread on the couch.
“Oh?” Mae says.
“She’s trying, and I think it’s too big a step to let Naomi sleep anywhere other than home. So I figured they can stay here and then I’ll sleep at my aunt’s. That way Naomi doesn’t feel totally like a fish out of water.”
“I know she’s a kid, but have you told her that?”
“No,” I say, toeing the coffee table, feeling antsy. “I’ve thought about it for a while, and I think it’s the best happy medium.”
“That makes sense. And your family will be right there if they need something.”
I nod and remember Mae can’t see me. “Yes, they will.”
“If you’re comfortable with it, you could come over that night.” She offers.
My heart lifts and my stomach flips. “Are you asking me out on a date, stubborn?”
“Don’t push it,” she grumbles.
“I think that’s a great idea and will probably help Rebekah feel like I’m not breathing over her shoulder, but my family will be close by.”
“Mhm,” Mae says.
“Then maybe we can pick up where we left off the other night,” I murmur.
Mae lets out a shaky breath, and I swear I can feel the heat of it through the phone. “I’d like that,” she says.
“I’ll get it organized and let you know.”