Chapter 36 #2
“Let go for me, Mae,” he whispers in my ear, and it launches me over the edge. I feel as if lightning struck, and I can feel the shock in every inch of my body.
“What I wouldn’t give to see that face every single day,” he mumbles into my skin.
Barely lucid, his hands grip at the edge of my panties, pulling them off before he tosses his boxers and takes his wallet out of his jeans.
He rifles through it until he finds a condom and sets it on the bed before coming back between my legs, sitting back on his heels.
“This could be—”
I stop him, and he stares at me. “Cooper, you don’t have to explain this to me. I’m well aware. We’re not nineteen and experimenting in my dorm room.”
He chuckles and drops his eyes. “I’m sorry, I … it’s been a long time and the last thing I want to do is hurt you, or make you feel uncomfortable.”
“I’ll tell you,” I whisper, sitting up.
He cups my face, sweeping his lips across mine, teasing me until I open my mouth, seeking more. Our tongues brush and his hips drop between my thighs.
He grazes my center, hissing, and I moan at the sensation.
“Please,” I whisper.
“I’ve got you,” he says gently, pushing my messy hair out of my face.
He reaches back for the condom, and my heart pounds at the sight. His abs contract and his eyes finally meet mine again. I spread my knees wider, and he aligns his hips to mine. My lower lip trembles, and he kisses me fervently before he drops his hand between us, fitting us together.
“Okay?”
I nod, and he stares at me as I breathe quickly in anticipation.
“Deep breath, baby,” he whispers as he gently rocks into me.
My head drops back on a sob.
I whimper, lifting my hips. He groans, pinning my hips down, and I reach for his mouth again. Our kiss feels primitive, full of wanting. Every graze and dip of his tongue sends warmth flowing through my sternum, down to my toes. I understand why people chase it now. But this is more. It’s deeper.
“Breathe with me, Mae.”
I inhale as he does, and the pinch disappears.
Cooper curses and grips the sheets in one fist and my thigh in another.
I link my fingers through his hand on my thigh, digging the heel of my foot into his muscles, begging him for more.
No words can form on my tongue. I’m purely reactionary, on the edge of pain and pleasure, too concentrated to do nothing but feel.
“Damn, Mae,” Cooper grunts, squeezing my hand.
I whimper, and he groans at the same time. “Are we—” I gasp as his hips roll.
“Yes, baby, yes,” he grunts.
I lift my hips, testing, finding the right angle, and he grunts, breath ragged, kissing my neck and coming back to my lips.
Every thrust is slow, deep, and intentional. My heart squeezes and my stomach hollows out as a tear escapes my eye.
I open my eyes, and I swear he sees my soul. He sees the way I feel about him, but never said.
He knows.
“You’re doing so good, Mae.”
I whimper.
His hand drops mine and grips my thigh, nearly lifting me. I wrap my arms around his neck as he thrusts into me. A whole-body shudder runs through me, making me gasp into his skin, digging my nails in.
“Look at me,” he growls, breathing roughly into me.
I obey, dropping my head back.
He groans, keeping our slow, languid pace, refusing to break eye contact.
Sweat coats our skin, and our breaths the only rhythm that matters as thunder rolls outside.
“Coop,” I cry.
He curses. “Stubborn, I don’t know how long I can …”
“Please,” I whimper pulsing my hips up.
I grab the back of his neck, desperate to hold on as our bodies move and mouths groan. “Coop, I’m—”
He hums, cutting me off, rubbing his thumb between my legs, and I detonate, crumbling the cliff I was about to fall over. My heart lifts from my chest as he chases his orgasm, catching himself as he moans into my ear, and the vibration alone sends shivers over me.
I keep driving my hips to his, and he slows.
Hearts thudding, bodies still, breath pulsing. “You okay?” he asks.
“Yes,” I rasp dipping my nose into his neck.
He pulls away, and I lock my ankles, keeping him from leaving.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Don’t … please stay here,” I whisper.
He pulls me tighter into his chest, and the soreness doesn’t negate the steadily increasing — possibly insatiable — hunger I have for Cooper.
“Give me a minute. I’ll be right back,” he says.
I reluctantly let him go. He runs to the bathroom and comes back to bed.
“How are you feeling?” he asks, snuggling us together.
“Sore, but good,” I rasp.
He hums, and our comforting silence makes my eyes drop.
***
I don’t know how long I was asleep, but Cooper is still out, and the storm is still raging. I barely move and his eyes open on me.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks, pressing a thumb between my brows.
I shake my head, throat too clogged.
“Are you feeling okay?” he asks.
“I’m perfect,” I rasp.
He hums and kisses my forehead, lingering there.
We’re wrapped in each other, his thigh over my legs.
I pulse my hips and he groans.
He leans back with a sleepy smile. “You sure?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
Cooper grabs my side, flipping us so I’m straddling him, and I catch myself, gripping the headboard.
“Oh,” I groan.
“Take your time,” he whispers.
I nod, shifting my position.
His hands grab my chest, pinching my nipples as I connect us.
We groan at the same time, and I drop my head back, giving myself a moment to adjust while Cooper massages my hips.
“Good?” he asks.
I mewl, rolling my body, chasing the feeling again.
He moans, staring up at me. “How—”
I cut him off, swiveling my hips, struggling to find the right delicious angle, and when I do, I lean into it.
“That’s it, baby, just like that,” Cooper grunts encouragingly.
This time we’re faster, more direct. Hungry.
I whimper, biting my lower lip, and as he thrusts up as the wave crashes, and as I ride it out, Cooper chases after me, squeezing my hips so tight I’m sure I’ll have bruises tomorrow.
I collapse onto his chest, resting my ear over his rapidly beating heart and focus on it as it slows, and we catch our breath.
“Damn, baby, are you okay?” Cooper croaks.
I nod against him, and gently lift myself off, both of us wincing in the process. He hops up and goes to the bathroom and comes back with a smile on his face.
He slips back under the sheets, pulling me into his arms, and I smile into his skin, kissing his chest.
“Are you sure I can’t get you something?” he asks.
“No, I’m fine, happy even,” I sigh.
“I’ll take the happy,” he chuckles.
I lift up on my elbow to look at him, and he grins widely. “Pretty proud of yourself, aren’t you?” I ask him with a raised brow.
He makes a face and shrugs. “I mean, can you blame me?”
I snort and shake my head, and he pushes my hair back. “I love your hair,” he says, staring at it.
“I don’t think a guy has ever told me that.”
“Well, I’ll be the first and the last,” he says seriously.
“I don’t know why, though. You can’t exactly run your fingers through it. They’ll get caught,” I mumble.
He hums and kisses my temple, taking a strand, winding the curl around his finger. I reach across him for the candle on my side table and the lighter in the drawer.
The flame creates a warm glow in the room as rain still pelts the windows. I laugh and Cooper frowns at me.
“What?”
I shake my head, trying to stop. “We had a tornado warning, and neither of us paid any attention to it.”
He shrugs with a grin. “I can’t think of better ways to go than being with my woman.”
My breath hitches, and I stare at him. The flame dances on the side of his mustached face, and I don’t know what to say.
He clears his throat and sits up with a serious expression as he reaches for my hand to hold it in both of his. “I’d marry you today in the middle of this storm, if you’d let me,” he says.
I gawk at him.
“But I recognize you’re probably not ready for that since you just decided to stay. I want to give you everything you thought you’d never have. But I want you to be sure, and I know you might need a little more time.”
I swallow thickly, wishing I had some water. “I’m not sure I have that kind of time,” I rasp.
Cooper sighs and rubs his mustache. “You have it with me, Mae. I’m not going anywhere. Okay?” he says.
I nod. There are things I want to say. But Cooper is definitely right about one thing.
I’m not ready to say them. Call it fear or reluctance, but if something broke between us, I know without a shadow of a doubt it would be the greatest, most devastating heartbreak I’ve ever experienced.
It would be something I don’t think I could ever recover from.
“I have a question for you.”
I lift a brow, thankful for the change of subject. He pulls the sheet over me, and I lie my head on the pillow.
“Is your mom the reason you’re struggling to stay?” he asks.
I take a deep breath. “She was diagnosed when I graduated college. Long story short, I stayed home to help her. It was … a big adjustment for all of us. Then I never left, but I knew it was a lot for my dad. So I was happy to help.”
“How have they managed without you all this time?” he asks.
“When I talked to her, they said they’re fine.”
“Why does it sound like you don’t believe it?” he asks.
I shrug and skim my thumb over his hand. “She doesn’t want to be a burden to anyone, and I get that, but MS steals from you, and it’s painful and frustrating. I know she gets angry, but I also know unless I can see it plainly on her face, she might not tell me.”
Cooper nods thoughtfully.
“So you feel like you should go back to Colorado to help them?”
“I do, and I feel like I’m being split in five different directions.”
Cooper sighs. “Well, you’re still here for a while.”
“I am.”
He hums. “Can I ask you something else?”
“Now I’m really nervous,” I mutter.
He takes my hand, and I keep my attention on how they’re linked together.
“You mentioned that you didn’t know if being a mom was in the cards for you. Would you … uh, could you see yourself being one?” he asks.
This was not the change of subject I was hoping for.
My chest splits, the open gaping hole that’s been filled with other things still remains. Small things, tiny wins, ease the ache for a short time until it comes back, over and over again, until you feel so ragged, so beat up that it’s hard to keep hoping.
“Yes, it’s something I’ve always wanted. I’ve done many other things in my life, but I think it might all pale in comparison.”
Cooper nods. “Naomi might not be my daughter by blood, in a manner of speaking. But that’s true, everything in life has paled in comparison to her.”
The storm finally passes. It’s quiet, and a part of me feels like I’m an entirely different person. Everything has altered; I’ve changed and my feelings have deepened for him, this town, and my life here.
“I don’t want to leave you,” he rasps taking my face between his palms, kissing me so passionately I want to cry. He rests his forehead on mine.
“I don’t want you to either, but you need to get back to Naomi.”
He reluctantly agrees and works on putting his damp clothes on.
I follow him to the door. Before he grabs his hat, he pulls me into his chest, dipping his nose into my neck. “I’ll call you later and we’ll go get your car tomorrow, okay?” he says against my shoulder.
“Okay.”
He groans and kisses me one more time. “I’m going to miss you,” he murmurs.
I giggle against his lips. “We’ll be apart for a handful of hours.”
Cooper smiles and kisses each hand. “I guess I’m a stage-five clinger then.”
I roll my eyes and push his chest playfully. He grabs his hat and instead of putting it on his own, places it on my head.
He takes a step back, scanning me from head to toe. “Yeah, I thought so,” he says.
“Thought what?”
“You’d look good with my hat on.”
I frown. “Um, why?”“Because that means you’re mine.”
“Maybe I’ll just have to get my own hat,” I tell him saucily.
“You’d still be mine, stubborn.”