Chapter 11
Delilah
After Dean and Matteo finish making breakfast, we head out. I leave Dean, and head to my first class.
Matteo doesn’t walk with me, and I haven’t spoken to him again since we left the room. What do you even say in this situation? Thanks for being my safe place, until you weren’t.
I’m a short girl, barely five-two, and at sixteen, Bunny, in his Wolf form, had been as tall as I was.
We had lain in the sun by the river for hours.
I had curled into his side, just listening to the water.
My busted lip and aching jaw, making me quiet.
I had asked him to shift. I needed a friend, and I wanted to be held, just once.
But he refused. I understand now, but at the time it hurt me.
I had gotten into the water, trying to escape the stormy feelings inside my chest, and drifted too far out.
Bunny saved me from drowning, but still never shifted.
He growled at me so aggressively that I thought he was going to hurt me.
I stopped going into the woods after that.
I wanted to know who the boy behind the Wolf was, but he didn’t want to show me.
He didn’t trust me, or care for me, like I had cared for him.
At sixteen, I was still stupid enough to believe in fairy tales, naive enough to think that the white Wolf might be my white knight…
Rather than continuing to have my heart broken, I stopped going to see him. Told myself, if he wanted me, he’d come for me.
My gloomy thoughts are derailed when Coal snaps at me from the back of the room. I head over to him, taking my seat beside him. Today isn’t his day, but I’m not going to argue.
“What happened yesterday? You missed class, and instead of tending to me in my room, you were nowhere to be found.” The way he growls at me is angry, but the look in his eyes almost resembles concern.
“I woke up in the woods outside the Academy. My shoes were gone, and my head was pounding. I’d been knocked out sometime after I left the dining hall.
I spent a while walking back to the Academy, barefoot.
If you don’t believe me, I’m sure there’s a trail of blood from last night,” I respond.
Pulling out a pen from my bag, I motion for him to hand me whatever work he’s about to make me do for him.
He ignores my hand and turns to face me fully.
“What?” he asks, eyes wide. We’re the only ones in the room right now and having his full attention focused on me makes me squirm.
“What, what?” I frown. “You're not the one responsible? I was told Jessica was overheard bragging, and she’s your fuck buddy or whatever.” I was kind of betting it was his doing, even if he didn’t do it himself. He sneers when I say the girl’s name.
“No, Delilah. Were you hurt anywhere else?” he asks, looking over my body closely, making me fidget. When Matteo walks in, Coal straightens, and when I look back at him, he’s got a scowl firmly in place.
“No,” I answer, but Coal only nods.
Was he worried about me?
The rest of my Tuesday classes were pretty calm. At lunch, I ate with Dean in his room, and it was awkward and quiet without Matteo there.
I was scolded in combat and forced to run, with no breaks, for missing it yesterday; but thankfully, because Dean was there, he informed the teacher I had been doing something for him.
That was a lie, but the truth wouldn’t have done me any good.
I’m on my way to meet Dean in his dorm now since the day is over.
I’m showered and wearing regular clothes.
I look down, running my fingers over the old cotton material.
There are a few holes in this shirt, considering it used to belong to my mother and is probably older than I am.
I decided not to wear my nicer clothes since I’ll likely just be making dinner, and then falling asleep on Dean’s couch. I lift my hand to knock, feeling a bit self-conscious now because of my raggedy clothes.
The door swings open, and Matteo grins brightly, and I can’t help but smile back. I saw him around in the halls today, but we didn’t talk, and I can’t lie, the way the she-wolves flocked to him made me want to gouge out eyeballs. Dean is quiet and a bit closed off, which confuses me.
When it’s just us, he’s still quiet, but he smiles more. He’s friendlier. But when other Wolves, not from his own pack, try to talk to him, he just ignores them.
“Hey gorgeous,” Matteo reaches out, grabs my wrist, and yanks me into the dorm.
I was not expecting it, so I tripped, falling into his arms. The grin on his face as he holds me tight could melt the sun.
I suck in a breath, holding it, trying not to breathe in his sharp winter scent, but it’s too late.
“Let me go,” I whisper, pushing his chest to escape him. He frowns but does what I ask.
“Dean is making a pasta dish his great grandma taught him.” Matteo watches me closely, and I wish I could just hide. His full focus is on me, and I can’t take it.
I reach up, tugging at the damn necklaces. I feel like I can’t breathe around the bitches, and I guess both men notice because Dean nods his head at Matteo, who steps behind me.
It startles me when Matteo lifts my long red hair off my back and pulls the strands aside, so he can undo the clasps of the chokers.
“I hate that old fucker,” Matteo grumbles, as he tosses the necklaces onto the kitchen counter. I rub my aggravated skin and smile softly.
“Thanks, and which old fucker are you talking about?” I ask, and Matteo heads to the small fridge, opening the door, his head dipping low.
“The Headmaster. The old bastard shouldn’t have given into Coal. Dean requested you first, but because Coal was seconds behind and pitching a fucking fit, he gave in.” Matteo returns to my side, handing me a small block of cheese.
“Do you want me to slice this?” I ask, holding it up.
“No, it’s a snack. Dinner won't be ready for a while, and after the workout you got in combat, which is just a fancy word for gym, I figure you could use something to get your energy back.” He points to the couch and motions for me to sit.
Once I do, I pull my legs up to my chest, staring at him as he grabs a glass and fills it with water.
“Here.” Matteo hands me the drink, and I shake my head even though I take it from him.
“This is…”
“Strange?” Dean fills in for me, and I nod.
“Very. Why are you guys being so kind? Serving me cheese and water? You’re cooking while I sit here…
I don’t get it. Is this some kind of prank?
Once I let my guard down, you’re going to lock me in a basement and laugh at me for trusting you?
” I don’t ask what I really want to know. Why didn’t he come back for me?
“I already told you this morning.” Matteo shrugs, and I shake my head.
“No, don’t do that. Don’t tell me two percent of the story, and then dismiss my concerns.
I know you remember all those times I ran to you in the woods, crying.
All the times you comforted me while I vented about what the others were doing to me.
You might have been someone I trusted four years ago, but I’m not a naive teenager anymore, Matteo.
Fairy tales aren’t real. No one is going to save me.
So what’s the truth?!” Okay, I snapped a bit.
Well, a lot. The hurt in both of their eyes almost makes me feel guilty.
Until I remember, I have no power here. So fuck them, and fuck guilt.
“I’m just a Human. You’re both future Alphas. The most I can ever be to either of you is an Avowed. A servant. I’m nothing, no one. I don’t matter.” I don’t bother wiping away my angry tears. No Wolves have ever stopped hurting me, just because I cried. Not even Bunny.
“Delilah, I-”
“No. Don’t. I was just a kid back then, Matteo. But I’m not anymore, and I need you to tell me what the fuck is going on!” I demand. Fuck the consequences. If they truly mean me no harm, now is their chance to prove it.
“It’s not that simple. There are things we can’t tell you because it’s not safe for you, or for us. Your life isn’t the only one in danger here, Delilah. So please, just give us time to show you that we’re here to help you.”
“Why?!” I shout, jumping to my feet, pointing my finger at Matteo. “I begged you, begged! For you to shift. To just fucking talk to me after six years. I needed you, and you just… refused.” My last words are whispered. The anger and heartbreak I’d felt leaking out.
“Because I was in love with you! Because I was a fucking kid too, Delilah, and I was scared. I was worried you’d compare me to the others if I shifted, and I wasn’t this amazing person you made me out to be in your mind!
Because, even though you’re Human, your sweet honey scent drove me crazy, and I wanted to claim you, and if I had, then there was a good chance you’d be dead right now!
” Matteo shouts right back, spinning away from me.
He’s tugging on his dark hair, and I can see the way his body shakes. His words sink in, and I just stand there, staring at him.
“Do it now, then,” I whisper, and Matteo spins around, frowning. “I’m going into the bathroom, and when I come back, there better be a Wolf so white he looks like a bunny waiting for me.”
What am I doing? I ask myself, rushing through the bathroom door. Slamming it shut, I lean back, taking a deep breath, and blowing it out slowly. I turn to the mirror, fix my messy red hair, and wipe the tears away.
This is a mistake, but here I am, making it anyway.