Chapter 19
“Don’t tell me he put out a reward for this ghost?”
“He did. We reckon it’s the same fellow. Posted two-thousand pounds and a phone number.”
“Ever think about calling it and asking him to leave you alone?”
“Calls can be traced.”
“Not necessarily.”
He fell quiet.
“We could hire some high school hacker to help us hide the call. Reroute it through other countries and stuff. Like they do in the spy movies.”
“Auch, I watched a movie once, on John’s telly.”
“One movie? That’s all?”
“He promised it was the best one.”
He couldn’t see me roll my eyes. “I can’t imagine. What was it? Star Wars? Jaws? The Hobbit?”
“Nay. It was called The Highlander, but I have read those other books. In the last house down the lane, I built a library.”
“Of course the Yeti-man would have a library. The Beast preparing for his Beauty. If you could just get her here, why would she ever want to leave?”
“I have read that one as well.” I could hear the pout in his voice.
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t mocking you. I just… You know, nobody wanted the Beast to stay alone in that castle.” I bit my lips together. I wasn’t helping. But I wasn’t any good at keeping my mouth shut if something wasn’t fair. “What about changing your name? Not wearing your MacInnis plaid?”
“Wouldnae matter. The traveler saw m’ face. Not for long, but somehow he remembered it clearly enough to render an accurate portrait. John says he’s seen copies of it attached to boards and poles and things from here to Inverness. Help us identify this hero, it says.” He snorted. “He mocks me.”
“Calling you a hero?”
“Aye. A hero wouldnae have fled the battlefield and left his fellow Jacobites to die.”
“You didn’t know he would take you away from the fight—”
“But I hoped, aye? If he was saving Simon, I wanted him to save me as well.”
I shook my head. “And what if he could have saved everyone? Would you have wanted him to do that?”
“Certainly.”
“If there was only one ticket out of there, would you have taken it? Or would you have given it to someone who needed it more?”
“Lass. Dinnae guan so. There was no time—”
“Exactly. There was no time to think about anyone else. You had enough time to wish you didn’t have to die.
You had enough time to reach out and help catch him after he was shot.
That was it. The next choice was out of your hands.
” Something clicked. “Hey, you know, when you reached out to help catch him? That might be the heroism he’s talking about.
Maybe he just really wanted to thank you but didn’t get the chance. ”
“You reckon any man has ever been two thousand pounds grateful for a simple act that made no difference at all?”
Cian could read the woman’s every thought, though she struggled to keep them to herself. She fussed around the place, turned the clothes to dry on the other side, and took a cloth from one of his legs to wash her face with the melted ice.
Suddenly, she looked stricken.
“What is it, love?”
“I need to pee. I mean, I need to visit the outhouse.”
After kicking free of all the spare cloths, he found the bucket and set it in the middle of the floor. “For the sake of all that is good in this world, use the pot.” He swung the blanket over his shoulders, and stepped into his house boots. “I shall give ye some privacy.”
“Where are you going?”
“Tae color the snow.”
“What?”
“Lass. Use the pot, and be quick about it so I needn’t freeze m’ nethers.” He opened the door and stepped outside.
Giggling, she called after him, “Don’t forget! You’re not wearing pants!”
He closed the door.
“Again!”
He picked his way through the snowdrifts to piss to the right side of the house so the silly woman wouldn’t see the yellow snow and comment.
Her entire body flushed red when he stepped back inside, picked up the pot, and took it back out to empty it.
He wiped it out with a handful of snow, then took it inside and slid it beneath the bed.
He pointed at it to make good and certain she knew where to find it in the middle of the night.
She headed for the water bucket with her little cloth again, likely to stop the burning in her cheeks.
“Dinnae do that.”
“Why?”
“What do ye suppose woke yer bladder the last time?”
She grimaced, then tossed the cloth on the ledge. When she faced him, her gaze got caught on his bare legs once more. “Um. I’m ready to go to bed.”
“As am I.” He left the heaviest blanket on the bed for her and took everything else that was dry to make a pallet for himself on the far side of the table before tending to the fire.
“If ye get chilled, call out and I will add a log. We must keep the wee door closed whilst we sleep, but I shall leave open the shutter.”
She deftly wove her hair into a single braid for sleeping, as his gran had always done.
The tilt of her head and the peace on her face whilst her fingers danced down the length of her hair brought a pang of sweet memory to his heart, and a rightness to his soul.
Saints help him, he wished she would stay.
She noted his attention and blushed anew. “If you can’t stand the floor and need a turn on the bed, we can trade.” Like a nervous mouse, she turned and scurried under the blanket and between the two flowered cloths she called sheets. “Goodnight, Cian.”
“Sweet dreams, Matty lass.” He moved around the room to douse the candles he had lit in the windows to use the glass to amplify the light. “Easy now. Just dowsing the wee flame,” he purred, when he stretched over the bed to blow out the candle above it.
She had the blanket pulled up to her nose and closed her eyes, sorely tempting him to leave a kiss on her brow. But he resisted. Once he was settled, he listened for her breathing to change, sure he couldn’t sleep until then. And after a long while, the bed gave a small squeak.
“Are ye awake,” he whispered softly, careful not to wake her if she slept.
“I am,” she whispered back.
“Warm enough?”
“Yes. You?”
“Aye.” Though they both needed their rest, he wished they could haver for hours. There were words, however, that he didn’t wish to leave unsaid. So, he summoned his courage and spoke quietly. “For all my days, I will remember kissing ye in the snow…”
After a stretch of silence, he worried she hadn’t heard him, that perhaps she had fallen asleep after all. When she finally answered, his heart soared into the rafters on childish wings.
“I will never forget it either, Cian. How could I possibly? It was the most romantic moment of my life.”
He held his breath, waiting to hear more.
After a wee sniff, she breathed, “Goodnight.”
Hours later, he was pulled from a sluggish sleep when Mattie called out to him.
“Cian?”
“Aye, lass. Are ye cold?”
“Freezing.”
He climbed to his feet and blinked to see his way. “I’ll stir up the coals and add some wood. It willnae take long.”
“Cian?”
“Aye?”
“It’s not that kind of cold.”
He chuckled. “There’s another kind?”
“I’m…I’m freaking out.”
“Aw, lass. Have ye not slept at all?”
“I have. But…would you mind…just holding me?”
He didn’t make her ask again. Scooping up his pillow and blanket, he strode to the bed and joined her. Before pulling her back against him, he placed his pillow between their hips.
She wrapped her arms over his and held tight. “Sorry,” she whispered.
“Not a’tall.”
“I just felt like I was lost, like I was treading water, and I could go under any minute.”
“Ye’re safe now. Be at ease. The morrow is still a long way off,” he lied. He could already taste the dawn coming. And no matter how the day went, he knew how it would end—with him back on that bed, forever and truly alone.