CHAPTER 11
Having the next day off is as much a burden as a relief.
I badly need time to relax, but I’m so anxious I can’t find peace in anything. My entire system is in fight-or-flight mode. I constantly feel like danger is lurking right around the corner, and my head keeps conjuring terrifying images of yet another nightly visit. Because I am convinced it will happen at night. Like Janos said, play at night. Gabor seems to keep up his proper politician fa?ade during the day and lets the beast loose after dark.
Knowing this, it’s easier to keep the worries down during the day, but come night, the anxiety rages through me with a tearing force. I trot back and forth in my small apartment, jumping at the tiniest sound and checking the peephole every five minutes.
After two hours, I’m exhausted and realize I can’t keep doing this. Refusing to stay victim to this fear, I slip into bed and turn on the TV. It’s a poor distraction. I keep scanning the room every other minute, and it’s a struggle to keep from darting to the hall to check the peephole. It takes another two hours before I’m so depleted that I drift off.
***
A hand touches my shoulder gently and rolls me onto my back. I hum at the soothing feeling as I reach for the comforter. I can’t find it though, and when two warm hands slide up my stomach, I stop searching. I don’t need the comforter when these hands are on me.
A new pair of hands grabs my ankles. These are cold and rough, and when they yank at my legs, I realize something is off—very off.
Snapping my eyes open, I stare straight into Janos’s eyes. They shimmer coldly, like the blade of a knife. Not even the soft glow from my nightlight can ease the startling severity. It’s not just his eyes, though. Everything from his blank expression and sharp features to his tailored suit and broad shoulders makes him look callous. But when he pushes up my T-shirt, his hands are gentle. It makes me forget I should be scared, and I find myself so mesmerized by his ruthless beauty that I willingly lift my arms.
A forceful jerk on my pants snaps me out of the trance, and the urge to fight kicks in with a shot of adrenaline through my veins. I throw myself across the bed, but Janos is just as quick as he jumps onto the mattress, grabbing me by the waist and hauling me into the restrictive band of his arms. I writhe against him, yet it only takes him seconds to tug my T-shirt off.
When he presses me back down on the bed, I send him a plea through my eyes as I beg, “No, not again.” But there’s no help. He’s as uncompromising as he’s gentle as he presses his palm to my chest, and the dichotomy is a cruel mind-fuck that has me drawn to him even as I push at his arm.
His partner, on the other hand, is mechanical aggression incarnate. He’s in such a hurry to get me naked that he gets in his own way. When my pants lodge around my ankles, he keeps yanking, getting nowhere.
“Get off her,” Janos orders with an irritated edge as he moves to the foot of the bed to shove the scrawny man away.
Taking advantage of the short reprieve, I scramble toward the headboard. Once again, Janos makes me feel like a clumsy puppy as he grabs my ankle and hauls me back with a single tug. He’s not even annoyed. He’s pure, calm control, and it scares the shit out of me.
I push up to sit and lash out at him, even knowing it’s useless. I need to fight or I won’t be able to live with myself tomorrow. Flailing my hands wildly, I go into full attack mode, but Janos freezes me with a feral growl as he jumps onto the bed. In the blink of an eye, I go into defense mode, scooting back as he crawls over me like a hungry lion.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt as he settles his large body over mine, rendering any movement impossible. My arms go slack on either side of my head as he pins me with his sharp stare. There’s no resistance left in the face of his mighty dominance.
He scoffs. “You’re too submissive for your own good.”
I squeeze my eyes shut as shame crashes over me. His words are like a cut to an already deep gash. My chest tightens, and all I want is to draw in on myself and disappear from the world, everyone in it, and myself.
But a swipe of his thumb across my cheek pulls me back. It holds a startling gentleness, and I open my eyes to find something like curiosity flickering in his gaze as he studies me.
“Pretty and vulnerable,” he whispers, as if mesmerized by my helplessness.
I part my lips, stunned by his words, and close them again, gulping when I can’t find any words of my own.
I don’t move when he crawls off me; I barely even breathe when he grabs the hem of my panties. I just keep staring at him as fear and desire pound through my system, crashing against each other. He stares back, keeping my body loose and pliant with the sheer force of his gaze as he removes my last scraps of protective fabric.
His expression is cold again, bordering on cruel with the scar slicing through his brow. But as he stands up and takes in the full length of my body, something I didn’t expect flickers in his eyes. Concern.
I glance down my torso where his eyes linger, and there’s the source of his reaction. Protruding ribs and small breasts have me squeezing my eyes shut and pushing air through rounded lips. I know I have lost weight, but I haven’t been able to face the full brunt of it by studying my body. Now, the tiny flicker of concern in this hard man’s expression throws the ugly truth right back in my face.
A couple of fingers nudge my chin, coaxing me to open my eyes. Hesitantly, I do so and look up at Janos.
“We’ll fix this,” he says, or rather, promises as he shrugs out of his suit jacket.
Curiosity makes me glance down as he rolls up his sleeves to reveal a canvas of intricate tattoos on his left arm. But despite wanting to inspect the patterns and shapes on his arm, I keep looking back up. When he turns to rummage in his duffle bag, I realize it’s because his eyes are my anchor. Without them, I start to drift, and a black fog creeps around my brain as I watch him procure a vibrator egg and two bundles of rope.
I badly want his eyes back on me when he starts tying coarse jute ropes around my ankles. But the ropes tug me back to reality, sending cold truth slithering down my spine. I shouldn’t want anything from this man. This is not an intimate moment between the two of us. No matter how skilled or gentle his hands are as they coil the rope into perfectly aligned rows, this is not a rope scene meant to titillate and excite. This is a ruthless criminal preparing me to be used by a corrupt politician who has me trapped in this city as a convenient target for his sadistic whims.
Silent tears trickle down my temples, and a desperate whimper escapes my mouth when the first rope tugs at my foot as Janos ties it to a corner of the bed. I burrow my face into the pillow, trying to shut everything out. But Janos won’t allow me to forget. He rubs the pad of his thumb in circles on the small indentation above my heel. The movement is slow and gentle as if it’s meant to soothe, but nothing will ease the chilling fear constricting my chest.
I remain still as Janos ties both my legs to the corners of the bed, spreading them apart to force my pussy on full display. I hate myself for not resisting more, but all the fight is gone. I’m so paralyzed I can’t even reach for the sheets to cover myself.
When he has tied my legs, he leans over the foot of the bed to push the vibrator egg inside me. He wastes no time teasing or touching—just shoves it straight in without even lingering at my opening. And there’s no need for more. My fucked-up body has provided enough lubrication to allow the intrusion.
Once the toy is in place, it’s easy enough to ignore it if I don’t clench my inner muscles. But when it comes alive with buzzing vibrations, I shoot my horrified eyes up to Janos. He doesn’t see me anymore, though. His eyes are fixed between my legs as he presses a button on the small remote in his hand. The vibrations intensify, more and more, until my entire body twitches with the need for release.
I kick against the ropes, refusing to give him this, but I can’t control anything. An involuntary moan slips past my lips, and I shove my hand down to rip the toy out and stop this degrading pleasure. But Janos slaps my hand away before I can even reach the toy, and then the vibrations stop.
Pressing my head into the pillow, I let out a pained wail. I’m not sure if I hate him more for cutting off the orgasm or forcing this need upon me in the first place. I’m not sure who I hate more—him or myself. I should know for sure when he drags a finger through my slit and dries it off on the sheets like I’m some dirty thing he doesn’t want on his hands. But my brain and emotions don’t cooperate. Instead of directing my anger at my perpetrator, it shoots straight back at myself, filling me with a feeling of being stupid and na?ve for having thought there could ever be more to this man. Whatever connection I’ve felt between us is a hoax.
The hoax continues as Janos lifts me up to sit and scoots in behind me. It takes all I have to resist the illusion of comfort when he wraps an arm around my waist and holds me close. It’s only a means to restrain me.
“Please, just tie me up instead,” I beg. “I can’t take this.”
“Gabor wants it like this,” Janos whispers, nudging my hair off my shoulder. “I do too.”
“Please,” I repeat, but my words fade into the silence as a new warped intermission begins.
Needing to escape the feigned intimacy, I lean forward against his arm, but there’s no escaping the warmth of his strong body. It seeps into my back even as I strain to create distance, and when the front door at long last opens, I’m quivering with the effort and weeping quietly into my hands.
I don’t have to lift my head to see who enters. I know it’s Gabor who starts taking off his clothes—folding them neatly. He takes his time, and the shaking in my body grows as I struggle to reel in the tears.
“Is she ready?” Gabor asks.
Sometimes, he speaks Hungarian to Janos, other times English. It seems random, but I have a feeling it’s as calculated as everything else. He wants me to hear him speak of me like an object—poke at my fear by hinting at what’s to come.
I feel Janos nod behind me.
“Great.” Gabor crawls up between my legs. His eyes are almost palpable on my pussy, and I jerk, trying to close my legs.
“Be still,” Janos orders, tightening his grip around my waist. He clearly thinks I’m about to burst into another fit of struggling. But that’s not what it is. Jerking my legs is simply an automatic reaction. There’s no fight left. Only hopelessness.
The need to succumb to his deceptive embrace grows stronger by the second, but I keep leaning forward, hiding my face in my palms, refusing to take his false comfort.
Long fingers slip between my dripping folds. “Look,” Gabor demands.
Before I realize the order is meant for me, Janos wraps his large hands around my wrists, pulling them aside to uncover my eyes.
“Nooo,” I whimper at the sight of Gabor’s fingers dragging a string of moisture from my pussy. I glue my eyes shut, refusing to face my body’s betrayal.
“Look at me!” Gabor’s booming command makes my eyes fly open. “You’re begging for my cock.” His eyes go wide with scornful arrogance, but the vile expression does nothing to lessen the magnificent power radiating off him as he looms over me.
My submissive soul holds no logic or self-respect. My inner muscles contract around the egg in response to his dominance. An involuntary whimper falls over my lips as the vibrations begin anew, shooting into my sensitive nerve endings.
I hate myself.I hate myself so, so much for being this sick. I shouldn’t want any of this. I shouldn’t be wet. I shouldn’t want the vibrations to keep going.
Yet part of me does.
Gabor’s brown eyes narrow as his mouth pulls up into a wide smile, as cruel as it is charming. “You like this.”
My eyes fall in lowly submission, landing on his cock that rises merrily into the air, glistening with precum at the tip. A cold shudder runs through me, and more tears fall from my eyes. Tonight, it won’t just be his fingers. Tonight, he’ll consummate the violation—mark his ownership over my body and tarnish my soul.
And there’s nothing I can do about it.
The realization hits me like a fist in the gut. I can’t accept it. I can’t sit by and watch as he degrades me in the worst possible way and makes my body turn on me. So I start to thrash anew. Furiously and mindlessly. Fueled by adrenaline and driven by instinct.
I throw my head to the side and sink my teeth into Janos’s arm. A rusty taste of blood trickles onto my tongue just before he digs his hand into my hair and wrenches my head back. Ignoring the explosion of pain in my scalp, I writhe and yank at my head, straining the muscles in my neck.
I kick my legs into the mattress with a fury unlike anything I’ve ever felt and jerk my body from side to side like I’m undergoing an exorcism. I pull with all my strength, but the ropes and Janos’s arm offer little leeway. So I throw my arms back, grab a fistful of Janos’s thick hair, and feel a tuft loosen at the roots.
An angry groan rumbles in his throat as he grips my wrist, squeezing until the strength drains from my fingers. They pop open, and I whimper as I lose my grip on his hair.
But I also have two hands, and I grab a new fistful with my free hand.
I barely notice Gabor’s chuckle. I don’t care about him. I only care about getting some small sliver of revenge on this man, who delivers me straight into the claws of the devil.
We fight like this for a minute, and a small sense of pride stirs in me at managing some fruitful resistance.
But my fight only delays the inevitable. After a few minutes—or maybe just one—Janos traps both my wrists in one hand while fisting my hair in the other. Thus, the battle is lost.
“Get to it already,” Janos hisses at Gabor.
Gabor laughs and directs his cold smirk at me. “Am I not allowed to enjoy the entertainment that presents itself before me?”
I seethe and try to yank at my head, but Janos has twisted it back at an awkward angle that allows no movement. All I can do is pant into his neck as Gabor starts slapping his cock against my pussy.
I give a final feeble jerk when Gabor pulls out the egg. But it’s useless. Everything is. Horror constricts my chest as I helplessly watch Gabor shove my hips into the mattress and adjust his hard length at my opening.
When he slips the tip between my slick lips, I deflate. Every last ounce of resistance fades, leaving a hollow void.
I’ve never given much thought to how I’d react if someone forced himself upon me, but I’ve always thought of myself as someone who’d fight until the end—scream at the top of my lungs and cry for help. But now, as Gabor breaches my opening with the head of his cock, all I can do is cry. Tears seep from my eyes in unstoppable streams, and loud sobs escape my mouth, broken and wretched. Just like I feel.
Janos releases my hair and pulls me closer with both arms. His movements are slow and gentle, like he’s trying to comfort me. But I know he’s not. So I block out the feeling, just like I try to block out the intrusion between my legs. I succeed for a minute, but then Janos starts rocking me—his upper body going in tiny movements from side to side—and I’m done for.
I can’t resist anymore. I need this fucked-up sense of comfort. So I press my cheek against his chest and drape my arm over my head to shut everything else out as I weep into the fabric of his white shirt.
Gabor pushes deeper, stretching my inner walls, refusing to let me forget, and I grab onto Janos’s arm for dear life. It’s all I can do to hold the final pieces of myself together. But even that becomes impossible when Gabor suddenly slams inside, all the way to the hilt. I wail into Janos’s chest as burning pain flares through my abdomen, spreading like poison into my soul where it festers and multiplies.
Gabor pulls out to repeat the devastating thrust. Again and again. With each thrust, a little part of me dies, leaving me hollow and empty—worthless and meaningless.
I sag in the arms holding me, thinking this can’t get any worse.
But then something vibrates against my clit. The egg, I realize. I jerk as the silicone dances over my sensitive bundle of nerves, and when Gabor pushes in again, my system goes into overdrive. I writhe in Janos’s arms and kick against the ropes. But it’s no longer despair that has me in this feral state. It’s overstimulation. Something is about to explode inside me, and I can’t control it.
“That’s it. Make her squeeze that pussy around me like the little whore she is,” Gabor growls as he picks up speed, and I realize he’s not the one holding the egg. It’s Janos.
Betrayal burns hot inside me, but somewhere in there, there’s also a small sense of relief. It’s not Gabor who’s making me come. Not truly. So I give up the fight and let the pleasure tear through me with a force that shatters everything in its way.
Janos clamps his hand down over my mouth as I scream, trapping the sound inside me.
The vibrations continue, and the orgasm keeps rolling, almost painfully.
Gabor’s cock makes a few telltale twitches as he comes inside me. And then everything ends. I collapse, lifeless and broken, my erratic breathing the only sign of life.
Janos scoots down to half lie against the headboard, taking me with him to rest against his chest. He holds me like he has just made sweet love to me, and I badly want to believe that’s what has transpired. But the illusion shatters when something wide presses against my opening. It’s bigger than the cock that was inside me minutes ago, stretching me painfully. I try to jerk up to see what’s going on, but strong arms keep me down, and I only catch a glimpse of the massive dildo breaching my opening.
I can’t take it.My mind is wrought with overstimulation and panic, teetering on the edge of insanity, and my body trembles from sensory overload and exhaustion. I don’t know how I muster the energy, but I scream into the hand that has predicted my reaction, clamping down over my mouth once again.
Gabor leans down and slides his tongue over my overly sensitive clit, and my screams morph into hysteria as he keeps licking.
When I’m right at the edge of another orgasm, Gabor draws back, leaving me a needy, whimpering, and screaming mess. I look into his hazel eyes, which shine triumphantly, taunting me with the power he holds over me.
“Beg me for permission to come,” he entices with a cruel smirk.
Janos releases my mouth, giving me the opportunity to oblige, but I just stare like an idiot. The orgasm may have ruined my ability to think, but my instincts still work well enough to know I’ll never ask this man to use my body.
Gabor gives Janos a nod, spurring him to clamp his massive palm back on my mouth. I stare into the ceiling as I try to block out the heat flaring at my core as Gabor continues licking me and pumping the dildo in and out. But I can’t ignore the stimulation for long, and when an orgasm brews deep within my belly once again, he stops and repeats his cruel demand.
“Beg me for an orgasm.”
My answer remains the same. I shake my head, and Gabor continues licking and pumping, dragging me into an endless spiral of needy frustration and utter humiliation.
Finally, my mind caves in, reduced to a useless mush of demented desperation. I try to scream—hurl profanities—but the only things coming out are pathetic whimpers and garbled pleas. My body is so taut with the need for release that it hurts, and I buck with violent jerks that cripple my limbs and spasm in my muscles.
“Give in. Be a good girl and let go for me.” Janos’s words are a low whisper against my ear. They seep straight into me with a startling gentleness more effective than the sternest of commands. I want to expel them, but Janos’s voice keeps swirling in my mind, almost loud enough to block out Gabor’s cruel mockery.
“Are you ready?” Gabor asks.
I stare up at him like an idiot. When my brain finally makes sense of his words, I think I’m going to refuse once more, but Janos’s gentle urge echoes in my ear like a spell wrapped around my brain.
It’s not a conscious choice when I nod.
“Say it,” Gabor demands.
Janos releases my mouth, and I stutter the crushing plea with a hoarse sound. “C—can I come?”
Gabor’s eyes narrow like it’s not good enough, so I force out one more word, breaking the promise I made myself.
“Please.”
“Alright then.” Gabor leans down to lap at my clip with renewed vigor, slamming the toy back in with a force that rings through my pelvis. But the pain morphs into something else—a warm throbbing that sends me straight onto the edge.
“Good girl,” a warm voice whispers, only for me to hear. And it’s those words that throw me over, shattering me in the most painful, violent, and wonderful orgasm I’ve ever had.