CHAPTER 31
“Take This Life”
by In Flames
Janos is in the apartment, as expected, when I get home. But he’s not his usual stoic self. The moment I step through the door, he comes storming out of the living room with fury burning in his eyes. I’m barely inside before he slams the door shut and shoves me up against it. Smacking his hands into the wood on either side of my face, he cages me in and leans down and sneers into my face, “Are you fucking your boss?”
I shake my head as I stare up at him with shock. “What? No!”
He pulls his phone from his pocket and shoves it into my face. “Then what the hell is this?”
My eyes go wide as I watch a video of András sitting close to me, holding my hands. “Are you following me?”
Janos huffs. “It’s ridiculous how easy it is to hack into a surveillance camera.”
I notice the angle in the picture. It’s taken from a corner in the ceiling—where a camera would be placed. Gulping past the lump in my throat, I shake my head, unable to find the words.
“Have you fucked him?” Janos slams his hand into the door, making me jump. “Huh?”
I’m not sure what it is, but something inside me snaps. “He was just being nice to me,” I snarl up at him, unheeding his flaring nostrils and threatening eyes. “He’s the only person in the world who shows any real care for me.”
He flinches like he wants to say he does, but he knows real care would exclude all the abuse he exposes me to, so he ignores my words. “Where else has he touched you?” he demands.
Dormant anger bursts up with a fire I can’t control, and tears stream down my cheeks as I shove at his chest. “You don’t have the right to be jealous.”
His hand shoots to my neck, wrapping around it in a tight hold as he leans so close I can feel his breath puffing against my lips. “Are you fucking him?” Pressing his body into mine, he growls, “Tell me!”
Either I’m incredibly reckless or I trust him—which would make me the first, anyway—because I spit my next words with vehemence. “I’m Gabor’s little whore. Not yours.”
He draws back like I’ve just slapped him. It’s no more than an inch, but for Janos, the small movement says everything. His eyes flicker back and forth between mine as the air rushes in and out of his nostrils.
I take the opportunity to deliver my next blow. “And when you’re a little whore, it’s all about getting as much dick as you can, right?”
In the blink of an eye, Janos has me on the floor beneath him and is ripping off my clothes. I flail, throwing up my hands to stop him, but as usual, I don’t stand a chance in hell against this beast of a man. Fabric tears as he rips my shirt open, and then he drags my pants down with a force that burns against my skin, freeing my pussy in a matter of seconds.
I put more strength into my struggles when he positions his hard length against my opening. “No, Janos. Stop,” I beg, panic drowning out my anger.
He doesn’t listen. He slams straight into me, making me buck off the floor as raw pain tears through my pelvis.
“Stop it,” I cry. “You’re hurting me.”
I shove at his chest, but he simply grabs my arms and slams them into the floor. “Good,” he growls into my face as he repeats the motion.
Leaning his head into mine, he sneers, “If the little whore wants cock, she shall get it.”
I scream and whip my head back and forth, refusing to look at him. But not even this reprieve do I get. Gathering my wrists in one hand above my head, Janos fists my hair, forcing my head in place. My eyes fall into the trap of his forceful gaze. He watches me like I’m the only thing in the world that matters, and my screams die out. Soft sobs take their place, mingling with the sounds of flesh hitting flesh as I stare up at him. Suddenly, I don’t need the anger anymore.
I just need him.
Straining against his grip in my hair, I try to lean up against his chest. “Please,” I whimper as I try to reach for him with my trapped hands. “Please hold me.”
Surprise flickers across his features, and his eyes soften. Releasing my hair, he cradles the back of my head against his chest. He keeps up the punishing thrusts as he holds me there, brutal yet gentle. It’s a dangerous concoction that hurls me straight toward an earth-shattering orgasm. I come apart in his arms, still weeping as I jerk and spasm through my climax.
Janos keeps pounding and groaning even after the ripples of my orgasm die down. The tension in his arms tells me he’s holding back—prolonging the pleasure. I want to say something, tell him how badly I need him. But I don’t dare to. It wouldn’t change a thing. Hearing the hopelessness in the words would only escalate the pain.
But Janos does that for me when he suddenly pulls out of me and grabs my chin, saying the words that shatter my world. “I do care about you, Rebecca. You’re the only fucking woman I’ve ever cared about, and I can’t stand the idea of another man touching you.”
Before I can respond, he flips me onto my stomach, pulls my ass cheeks apart, and spits onto my narrow opening. Every word and thought I ever had dies as he pushes into me, past the tight ring of muscle, invading me in the most dirty, humiliating, and intimate way he ever could. Even the painful onslaught of emotions that’s about to crash over me draws back, and I’m reduced to moans and screams as he fucks me in the ass.
Within seconds, he reaches the cusp of orgasm, and so do I. “You’re my little whore,” he sneers against my ear, and those words throw us both over the edge.
***
We both collapse, panting hard. Janos supports most of his weight on his elbows as his head hangs on my shoulder while we both come down from the high. But even as our breaths settle, neither of us moves. We both know the smallest movement would break the spell and make the world come crashing down.
I’m completely encased by him. His hands hold my arms close to my sides, and my legs are pressed together between his strong ones. I feel utterly small—like a tiny human in the claws of a supernatural warrior. But no matter how easily he could snap my neck or crush me with his weight, I feel safe.
This is where I belong. We both know it, and we both know there’s no way for me to stay here.
All too soon, Janos gets up and starts pacing the hall. The air becomes fraught with his frustration, and I sit up to hug my knees in front of me.
Janos just did the one thing he’s not supposed to do. He fucked Gabor’s whore. Janos has never outright said he can’t fuck me, but the boundary is glaringly clear—all those times I’ve felt his cock swell when he held me and all the times he drove me to the brink of orgasm and left in frustration. But most of all, it’s what happened after the kiss that bears testament to the severity of this transgression.
We’ve never talked about it, but suddenly I need to know—I need to know if I’m right.
“Why did you”—I look up and meet his eyes, feeling achingly vulnerable as I finish the question—“disappear after the kiss?”
Janos stops dead in his tracks. “Because this couldn’t happen.” A world of emotion flickers across his face as he watches me for a frozen moment—it’s pain, regret, fear, and lust. It’s everything he’s never said and probably never will say. Janos is caught in Gabor’s sick game too. He might not be a victim, but he has as little way out as I do.
I gulp and say in a hoarse whisper, “What will happen if he finds out?”
He starts pacing again as he drags his hands through his hair. “He won’t.”
I bury my head against my knees, knowing the right answer might very well involve someone dying. I don’t think Gabor would kill Janos—he seems to hold him in high esteem. But he’d surely kill me. Or have Janos do it.
Would he do it if Gabor told him to? I have no idea how far Janos’s loyalty reaches, but I have a feeling it runs deep.
“Fuck!” The sound of splintering wood pulls me out of my thoughts. When I look up, I find Janos’s hand bleeding and a large dent in the bathroom door.
I wish I could make it all better for him, but there’s nothing I can say or do that will change this hopeless situation. There’s only one thing I can do—the same thing he’s done for me countless times.
Crawling across the floor, I kneel beside him and lean into him. I can’t take away his pain, but I can ease it by being there for him.
Janos tenses and I think he’s going to push me away, but then his fingertips touch my hair, and his palm slowly settles on top of my head. I wrap my arms around his legs, and in turn, he starts stroking me. Gradually, his hard breaths settle into a steady rhythm, and the tension drains from his muscles.
“This can’t happen again,” he says, voice thick with regret.
“I know,” I say, squeezing him tighter. “I know.”