Chapter 13 #2
Olivia wrapped her hands around his wrists, holding him in place when he eased back, looking as if he might bolt. She smiled, then tiptoed up—claimed his mouth, this time. And just like that, he was all-in. Tongue battling for control as he slowly backed her up.
He stopped, a breath away from pinning her against the paneling. Chest heaving. Lips slightly parted. “Shit. I didn’t mean to do that.”
Was he speaking in a foreign language she didn’t recognize because it didn’t make sense. “You didn’t want to kiss me?”
“Of course, I wanted to kiss you. I always want to kiss you, but…” He groaned, dropping his hands as he stalked away. Crossing the room before spinning. Looking at her as if she’d sucker punched him. “I’m doing this all wrong.”
Olivia leaned against the wall, arching one brow at him. “Must be another one of those translation things, because I thought you were doing it all right.”
“I didn’t come here to have sex.”
“O…kay.”
He scrubbed a hand down his face, shaking his head before making eye contact, again. “I need to know why.”
“Why you didn’t come here to shag?”
“Why you never called. Told me you were in trouble. Let me know you were alive, and that you’d gotten in too deep with Slader.
Because I know you. I’ve watched you operate this past week, and there’s no way Devlyn got the drop on you at that motel.
You wanted out, and you used her to do it.
Probably thought you’d be safe at the NSA until they’d stopped Slader. Why didn’t you just call me?”
Was this what death felt like? Cold. Suffocating. As if Ethan’s words had drained her will to live. Sucked it dry and left her standing there as nothing more than a husk of her former self.
Olivia opened her mouth, closed it. Tried, again, only to cough. Thankful she still had her weight braced against the wall, otherwise she’d be on the floor. A crumpled heap of dried out bones.
Ethan took a step forward. “I would have come. No questions asked. No limits to what it would have taken. How far I would have gone. Regardless of who you really were. You had to know that.”
She forced herself to swallow. Got her tongue to finally work.
“Don’t you think I wanted to? That it didn’t kill me to have to walk away?
But Slader showed up just ahead of the PJ team.
That’s the only reason he didn’t scour every inch of that crash site.
He only had a couple of minutes lead time. If I hadn’t gone with him…”
She couldn’t say it. Couldn’t go to that place where Ethan was dead because of her. Because of a decision she’d made.
“I know you didn’t have a choice. I see that, now. That you risked your life to save mine and get me clear. But you could have found a way to contact me once you were stateside. I’m pretty damn good at eliminating threats. I would have gotten you out.”
“I didn’t have that kind of freedom. Slader was being targeted. Had us all on lockdown.” She groaned. “You’re missing half of the story.”
“Then, walk me through it.”
“Why? I lied. For far longer than I should have. You’d proven you could be trusted.
Had shown me you cared—beyond what I deserved.
As soon as I realized I was falling for you, I should have come clean.
About MI6, who I really was. What I was doing.
I should have given you a choice. So, why does knowing all of it matter, now? ”
“It matters because I want to understand.” He closed his eyes for a second—took a breath. “I need to understand. So, talk to me. I’ve heard snippets of the story, but I want to hear it from you. Let’s start with why you became Anna Carmichael.”
This was it. What she’d been hoping for, only now, it felt as if she was walking a tightrope. One wrong move and she’d tumble. No net to catch her, just her falling for the rest of her life. Never quite hitting the bottom.
She took a deep breath. Looked Ethan in the eyes. “London wanted me to track down Ian Slader. They’d heard he was searching for a Judas list of sorts, and they wanted me to obtain a copy.”
Ethan nodded. “That Judas list. That’s the one Crow talked about, right?”
“Yes. Slader was working with your former-teammate at the time in one of CIA director, Roger McCormick’s, JSOG teams. Though, Slader had contacts in damn near every forward operating base overseas.
I chose the base you were on because I knew you used to work with Crow, and I thought hanging around one of his former-teammates might give me an in with Slader.
That he was most likely targeting you as his next patsy. ”
A small twitch of his mouth. “And did it give you an in?”
“Better than I expected. The bastard jumped at the chance to have me sign up. I think he was hoping Crow might need your help at some point. Everyone knows that Spec Op guys stick together. Even after they leave. And he thought I might be able to use you to get that list.”
She inched forward. “I know how it sounds, but I swear, getting involved wasn’t part of the plan. I was only going to be friendly. Chat you up, a bit. Make Slader think I could influence certain outcomes.”
That muscle in his temple pulsed, this time. “What happened?”
“You happened. You and your brooding good looks and wounded soul. One smile…” She sighed. “By the time I realized I’d crossed a line, I was too far gone to step back. Had made the critical error of falling for my own con.”
“You could have left. You already had your in.”
“No, I really couldn’t have.”
“Why not?”
“I think you know why. You just want me to admit that I was crazy about you. That leaving wasn’t something my heart would allow, regardless of what London might have wanted.”
“Then, why didn’t you just come clean?”
“Same reason, only I didn’t want you to leave, instead.”
He nodded, glancing away for a moment before rolling his shoulders and meeting her gaze. “Okay, so, how does Smyth figure into all of this?”
“About a week before the crash, I intercepted a communique that suggested someone was neutralizing all of Roger McCormick’s ghost squads.
I wasn’t sure if it was connected to this list Slader wanted, if it was even legit, but it got my attention.
I mentioned my suspicions to him, thinking he’d catch the next flight back to the States, maybe drop out of sight, permanently, only to have him tell me to investigate more.
See if I could come up with a name. That morning, I did.
I notified Slader, and a few hours later, we get sent on a questionable mission where the damn helicopter drops out of the sky despite the fact I’d done a thorough walk-around before we left.
Which means someone tampered with the kind of stuff I couldn’t check. ”
She shook her head. “After that, Slader shifted his focus to Smyth. He wanted to be able to get to the arse before Smyth made an attempt on his life. There was just one problem...”
Ethan sighed. “He didn’t know who Smyth really was.”
“Slader knew there was someone high up that McCormick reported to. But trying to identify him was next to impossible. So, Slader started ransacking all the covert sites McCormick had hidden from the CIA until he found a ledger. I never saw the contents, but I do know it was in some kind of shorthand. There was a thumb drive taped to the back. It seemed logical that it was the code key, but Slader’s techies couldn’t crack the encryption. ”
“That’s when Slader decided to go after Crow.”
“Not exactly...” God she was knackered. As if she were reliving every moment. Feeling that sense of betrayal and loss over and over and over.
She shifted so she could lean against the desk Ethan had bent her over the previous night.
The one that made her heart rate jump and her body weep just looking at it.
“Originally, Slader wanted to initiate a full-scale assault on Cannon’s crew.
Drones. Guns. Enough manpower to crush a small army.
Basically wipe everyone out except for someone named Ellis.
He thought she was the only one who had the skill to decrypt the drive. ”
Ethan’s cheeks flushed slightly as his eyes narrowed. “Slader was gonna take out my team?”
“The man’s insane.”
“What stopped him?”
“I convinced him that killing Cannon and the others would put a giant bullseye on his back. That he’d never live long enough to worry about Smyth killing him. Instead, I gave him an option... A way to get Ellis’ help without compromising his safety.”
“You orchestrated the sting operation that got Crow and Devlyn working together, knowing the rest of the crew would eventually pitch in.”
“Like I said. You Spec Op guys stick together.”
Ethan shook his head. “You should have gotten out. Worried about yourself instead of everyone else.”
“And let Slader decimate your team? Men you considered your brothers? I couldn’t do that.”
His eyes darted to the side as he seemed to work through something in his head before moving closer. “Let me get this straight... You stayed with Slader, risked your life, risked getting outed as an MI6 operative, to save my team?”
“I had to. I owed you that much.”
“You owed me staying alive. Christ, Olivia, that fucker would have shot you on sight if he’d figured it out.”
“That’s why I let Devlyn take me in. I’d hoped I’d done enough, by then. That the plan was already in motion. That they’d arrest Slader before anyone else got hurt. Slader had agreed that me being captured helped sell the ruse. Had promised to get me out. I’d hoped he’d never show up.”
“But he discovered who you were, didn’t he? Because he wanted you back on that pier.”
“Something changed between me getting knocked out by Devlyn and him breaking into their detention site. He knew I wasn’t Anna Carmichael. That I was a plant. He just didn’t know what agency I worked for. What my real name was.”
“You’re damn lucky to be alive.”
“You’re one to talk. You were barely conscious, yet, you took on a full squad of mercenaries? I still can’t believe you didn’t get shot in the head.”
It was her turn to take a step toward him. “But it was my fault you were there to begin with. I had no idea Smyth would use me to get to you. That he’d put you in that kind of position. I would have come clean at the NSA if I’d known you were in danger. I swear. I…”
He kissed her. Again. Only, this one made the other two look tame. As if he’d been warming up. Practicing. Finding the perfect amount of pressure to make her melt.
She smiled when he finally eased up, her back, once again, pressed against the wall. “Are you always going to kiss me in the middle of a sentence?”
“That a problem?”
“Not from where I’m standing, but…we still have a lot to talk about. I know you think everything was a lie, but it wasn’t. Ethan, I—”
His finger over her mouth. “Don’t you British ever shut up?”
She waited until he’d moved his hand. “Perhaps you should find something better for me to do with my mouth, then.”
His eyes closed as his jaw clenched, a low rasp sounding between them. “Olivia…”
“What’s wrong? Afraid you won’t be able to…keep up?”
“Are you seriously challenging me?”
She tiptoed up. Nipped at his lower lip. “Did I stutter?”
He laughed. “Oh, sweetheart, how you’ll eat—”
Ethan froze when someone pounded on the door, palming his weapon a second before Gibson stormed into the room, tucking the copy of her keycard she’d given him into his pocket. He was decked out in his Kevlar vest, with more firepower strapped on it than she’d seen him wear in a long time.
He arched a brow, nodding toward where she kept her lockbox of weapons. “Sorry to interrupt, but Dungeon’s team just got ambushed. So, stop snogging and grab some weapons. Things are about to get bloody.”