Chapter 13 #2
Turning his head, Trigger kissed her forehead gently and stared back up at the ceiling. He wasn’t sure what he needed to learn in this lifetime, but he hoped it involved loving unconditionally, and wasn’t something about dealing with loss or something equally depressing.
The last thought he had before he fell asleep was that he hoped Gillian was as strong as she seemed.
It was inevitable that he and his team would be deployed again.
Very soon. In the past, women couldn’t deal with not knowing where he was going or how long he’d be gone, and their relationship had ended as a result.
He didn’t want that to happen with him and Gillian.
Gillian felt as if she were being pulled in a thousand directions at once…but she loved the adrenaline rush she got from seeing all her hard work come together. She’d woken up that morning in Walker’s arms and the day had just gotten better from there.
Seeing her man in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt did something to her insides.
He was good-looking no matter what he wore, but seeing him dressed so casually was a huge turn-on.
He seemed to know; it felt as if he touched her way more often that morning.
A brush of his fingertips against her waist as he passed her in the kitchen, a light kiss before she headed to get ready for the day, his arm touching hers as they drove into Austin.
He was driving her crazy, but she liked the anticipation.
“Ms. Romano,” a man called out as he fast-walked toward her.
She turned away from admiring Walker standing near a group of men, women, and children waiting for the zoo to open its doors to the man coming toward her.
“We need to change the time the food trucks will arrive because I was just informed the monkey demonstration will be starting at eleven.”
“It’s fine,” Gillian informed the harried man who’d been assigned to help her. She thought he was the company president’s assistant, but wasn’t sure. “Not everyone will want to see the monkeys, and there will be plenty of food for those who do.”
“If you’re sure…” the man said, his tone indicating that she was wrong.
“I’m sure,” Gillian said firmly. “If you can please go tell the employees at the ticket counter that we’re all ready out here and it’s two minutes past nine. It’s time for the doors to open.”
“Yes, ma’am,” the man told her, then hurried toward the main gate.
Taking a deep breath, Gillian tried to tell herself that she’d done all she could to make sure everything would go off without a hitch.
She felt an arm go around her waist and with one quick inhale, she knew it was Walker.
“Breathe, Di. It’s gonna be perfect.”
She chuckled. “You’re just saying that to calm me down.”
“Nope. You’ve done the work for weeks. Little things might go wrong, but no one’s going to care. They’re excited about seeing the animals and having a good time. They won’t even notice the little shit.”
“Thanks,” Gillian said, leaning into him for a brief moment.
She was used to being on her own at these things.
She occasionally might have assistants and people helping her, but ultimately, everything fell on her own shoulders, as it should since it was her business.
But still, having Walker there supporting her made everything seem so much easier.
As the day progressed, and Gillian dealt with putting out small issues that kept popping up, she knew that no matter where she was, if she looked around, she’d see Walker.
He was giving her space to work, but staying close.
He’d brought her water several times, and around twelve-thirty, he’d made her take a short ten-minute break to wolf down one of the tacos he’d gotten from a food truck.
Gillian usually skipped eating altogether at events like this, but couldn’t deny she felt a hell of a lot better after getting some calories in her.
Around two, when she was standing at the back of one of the auditoriums watching the president of the company give a short speech to his employees about how thankful and proud he was of his work family, Walker came up and bent down to whisper in her ear.
“Can we talk for a second?”
Surprised, she looked up at him. He looked somber and serious, and she knew immediately something was wrong. Nodding, she let him lead her out of the auditorium to a relatively quiet spot nearby. “What’s wrong?” she asked anxiously.
“I need to leave,” he said.
“Now?”
“Unfortunately, yes.”
“Is everything okay? Your friends? They’re all right?”
“They’re fine. It’s a mission. I need to go.”
A mission. They hadn’t talked much about his job, more because Gillian wasn’t sure what she was allowed to ask and what he was allowed to tell her, but now she was kicking herself. “Okay. When will you be back?”
A pained expression crossed his face. “I don’t know.”
“Can I ask where you’re going?”
Walker pressed his lips together and shook his head.
Well, shit. She’d known this time would come, and Gillian did her best to keep everything she was feeling off her face.
She had to be strong about this. It wasn’t as if she didn’t know that Walker and his teammates did some pretty serious shit…
look how she’d met him. And she’d known all along that he most likely wouldn’t be able to tell her where they were going. She just needed to suck it up.
Giving herself some time, Gillian went up on her tiptoes and hugged him, hiding her face in his shoulder.
His arms banded around her, and she thought he held onto her just a little tighter than usual.
She forced herself to relax her arms, but she kept hold of his shirt at his sides. “Be careful,” she whispered.
Walker looked down at her for a long time, his expression inscrutable.
“What?” she asked. “Say something.”
“You don’t want to ask me anything else?”
“I want to ask you a million questions,” Gillian admitted. “But now isn’t the time, and you probably couldn’t answer them anyway. Just please…come back to me. I can’t have found you now, only to lose you.”
“You’re not losing me,” Walker said confidently. “I wish I could tell you everything about where I’m going and what I’m doing, but I can’t. I can’t ever tell you. Even when I get back. You understand that, right?”
She thought she had, but now, faced with his first mission since they’d started dating, it was hitting home exactly how secret Walker’s work life was.
She nodded. “I admit that this isn’t easy for me, but it’s harder for someone else out there.
Someone who needs a champion. And maybe where you’re going isn’t a rescue.
Maybe you have to go and take out a terrorist or something, but eventually, you’ll head to some foreign country to rescue a woman who thinks she’s gonna die.
And then you and your teammates will be there, giving her another chance at life.
I can deal with not knowing because I know what you’re doing is important.
Maybe not to me, but to someone who might feel just like I did back in Venezuela. ”
“Fuck,” Walker muttered, before leaning down and kissing her as if his life depended on it.
Gillian held on to his shirt and let him take what he needed. She’d give anything to this man; anything he needed from her was his. No questions asked.
The kiss gentled, and Gillian couldn’t help the small moan that escaped from deep within her as he nipped her lower lip then pulled back. “Give me your phone,” he ordered gently.
Feeling off-kilter from his kiss and the thought that he was leaving, Gillian did as he asked, unlocking it with her thumbprint before handing it over.
He clicked the buttons for a short moment before handing it back to her.
“I put Fletch’s number in there. He’s Annie’s dad.
He won’t tell you where I am or when I’ll be back, but he can reassure you if you need it.
If too much time goes by and you panic, call him.
He’ll make some inquiries and let you know what he can. Okay?”
She knew what he was saying. They weren’t married. The Army didn’t know anything about her. If Walker was hurt or killed on his mission, she’d never know. But his friend Fletch would.
Feeling thankful he’d given her some way to check on him, Gillian could only nod. The lump in her throat threatened to cut off her air along with her words.
Walker took her head in his hands and gently tilted it so she had no choice but to look at him. She loved how he did that all the time. Even more so because it was a very real possibility this might be the last time she’d experience it. She knew more than most how dangerous his job could be.
“I’ve never regretted anything more in my life than not knowing how it feels to be inside you.”
Gillian huffed out a small chuckle. “Then I guess you’d better make sure you come back in one piece so we can get on that, huh?”
He grinned, and Gillian’s knees got weak.
“Yeah, I guess so. I’m coming back, Gilly,” he said seriously. “I need you to believe that.”
“I do.”
He stared at her for a long moment before nodding.
“Okay. I’m proud of you, you know. Watching you today has given me a new appreciation for what it is you do.
You’re a jack of all trades and you’ve handled every crisis that’s been brought to your attention with ease.
You’ve come up with creative solutions to issues that would’ve broken some other people when faced with the same thing.
You’re able to pivot when needed, and you do it with a smile on your face.
I’m fucking impressed, Di. You are Wonder Woman. ”
“Thanks,” she whispered.
Walker leaned down and pressed his lips against hers once more.
It was a chaste kiss, no tongue involved, but it was just as intimate as if he’d plundered her mouth once more.
“Be safe,” he warned. “The seventh hijacker is still out there somewhere. I’m not happy that they haven’t figured out who it is or what his next move might be.
Same rules apply when I’m gone as when I’m here.
Don’t go out alone if you can help it, don’t take a fucking Uber, and let your friends know where you’re going if you leave the house. ”
“And don’t go to the grocery store after eleven at night, right?” she teased.
“Exactly. Nothing good happens after that time, and if you need a head of lettuce, you wait until it’s light outside.”
Gillian grinned up at him and somehow kept the tears she could feel at the back of her eyes from falling. “Got it. I’ll be careful.”
“I need to go,” Walker told her.
Gillian nodded, and he gave her one last long hug.
“Ms. Romano?” someone asked from nearby, and she recognized the voice of the young man who’d been bringing issues to her attention all day.
“Be safe,” she whispered to Walker.
“I’ll let you know the second I get back,” he said with a nod.
Forcing herself to let go and step back, she gave him a lame smile and pantomimed shooing him away. “Go on. Git. Before I latch onto your ankle and make you drag me along the sidewalk as you try to leave.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “It’s never been this hard to leave before,” he admitted.
“What’s the saying?” she asked. “The sooner you leave, the sooner you’ll get back? Go kick some bad-guy ass, honey.”
“Honey,” he said quietly. “I like that.”
Gillian rolled her eyes. She wanted to tell him she loved him, but felt awkward about it, so she kept quiet.
Walker backed away from her, not taking his eyes from hers until the very last second before he had to go around a corner. One second he was there, and the next he was gone.
Gillian wanted to fall apart, but the man who’d been helping her all day was there with another issue.
“One of the guests’ teenage daughters is freaking out in the bathroom because she just got her period and thinks she’s dying. The mom isn’t dealing well, and…um…do you think—”
“I’m on my way,” Gillian said, thankful for the distraction. She’d have time later to break down over Walker leaving. For now, she needed to put her event planner hat on and make sure the rest of the day went off without a hitch.