Chapter 18
A week later, Gillian was feeling much more like herself.
The first few days had been rough. She’d been sore and she felt extremely vulnerable.
She hated not being able to remember what had happened to her.
She’d finally been able to recall being at the caterer and tasting the different kinds of cake, but everything after she’d left the building until she’d woken up in the hospital was still a blank.
It felt good to be able to hole up in Walker’s apartment and hide from the world.
She knew without a doubt that he’d keep her safe.
She hadn’t even been upset when his team had shown up with a whole hell of a lot of her stuff from her apartment.
Things were cramped in Walker’s place now, with her stuff comingled with his, but he’d never complained.
For the first two nights, he’d held her all night long, reassuring her when she woke up with nightmares. But after that, she’d gotten tired of him treating her like a fragile piece of glass. She wanted to be Diana Prince for him again. Be the tough woman he’d nicknamed her after.
So the third night, she’d made her move before they’d climbed into bed.
He wanted to continue to coddle her, but she knew she’d get her way when she got down on her knees in front of him, and he didn’t protest. Her face had still been sore, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t show him without words how much she loved him.
He hadn’t let her linger too long, much to her disappointment, but he’d more than made up for it when he picked her up, placed her on her back on his bed, and proceeded to give her two of the most intense orgasms she’d ever had.
Then he’d made love to her…there was no other word for it.
He was tender and gentle, and he looked her in the eyes the entire time he moved inside her.
Her third orgasm had been less intense than the previous two, but just as earthshattering. When he’d finally let himself go, she couldn’t take her eyes away from the pulse pounding in his neck as he’d thrown his head back and groaned through his orgasm.
She’d thought their lovemaking would be a turning point, that things would go back to normal and he’d loosen up a bit on his protectiveness. But she’d been wrong.
Now Gillian was torn. While she loved the fact he was so concerned, he refused to let her go anywhere by herself. She quickly felt as if she was losing her independence.
Ann, Wendy, and Clarissa had visited once, and Walker had only left when her friends had promised not to leave her alone. Of course, her friends had thought it was romantic and sweet, but Gillian was starting to get frustrated.
Yes, she’d been kidnapped and roofied.
Yes, she was still freaked about the whole thing.
But that didn’t mean she’d suddenly turned into a five-year-old who had to be supervised at all times.
As the first week rolled into the next, Gillian became more and more irritated. Walker was being too protective. It was stifling, and even though she knew he loved her and why he was loath to have her out of his sight, it had to stop.
His latest decree was the last straw. He’d overheard her talking to the Howards’ daughter and reassuring her that the party would go on as planned the upcoming weekend. As soon as she hung up, he’d started in.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go to Austin this weekend.”
Gillian did her best to control her temper before she turned to face him. “Walker, I have to. This is my livelihood. I’ve spent nearly three months working on this party. I’m not missing it.”
“You’ve done all the leg work, it’ll happen just fine if you’re there or if you aren’t,” he said in a maddeningly calm tone.
“You have no clue,” she said a little harsher than she’d intended. “You were there at the zoo. You saw what I do. There are a million little details that need to be dealt with. Things go wrong and someone has to be there to redirect everyone.”
“You can hire someone to do that. You should probably hire an assistant anyway,” Walker said reasonably.
“Are you serious right now?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips.
“Yeah. I am. You can’t seriously be thinking about going back to Austin already? Your face is still bruised and you were kidnapped a little over a week ago. Why would you think it’s a good idea to go back there?”
Gillian had been holding back her frustration for a few days—and she couldn’t do it anymore. “I love you, Walker. I do. But I can’t be the kind of woman who’s happy sitting at home waiting for her man to come back from deployment. I need to work. I love what I do. I thought you understood that?”
“I do,” he said immediately, stepping toward her.
Gillian wasn’t ready to be placated, so she backed up so he couldn’t touch her. They both knew that was her weakness. That when he put his hands on her, she melted like a piece of chocolate on a hot day.
Walker straightened and his lips pressed together before he spoke again.
“Fine. We haven’t talked about this, so now’s as good a time as any.
When I realized you were missing, it was the worst day of my life.
Worse than any mission I’d been on. My world stopped.
I didn’t know what to do or where to even start looking for you.
Even worse was the fact that you’d already been missing for a couple hours.
I know better than anyone how easy it is to kill someone.
You might’ve already been dead before I knew you were missing.
I wasn’t there for you when I’d promised you’d be safe, and it almost destroyed me. ”
Gillian’s defenses began to crumble at the evidence of his heartbreak. “Walker,” she whispered.
He shook his head and spoke before she could continue.
“We’d done everything we could and it wasn’t enough.
The Feds had no idea where you might be, the surveillance cameras hadn’t caught anything.
Your phone, purse, and car were still there in the parking garage.
We literally had no clues. Nothing. You could’ve been in Mexico already for all we knew.
Then, by some miracle, we got the call that you’d been found alive.
My heart started beating again at that moment, and I swore that I’d never let you down again. ”
“You didn’t let me down,” Gillian insisted. “There was nothing you could’ve done. Walker, I could get hurt or die walking down the street outside your apartment. Or driving to the grocery store. Or I could have a heart attack.”
“Can you please stop talking about you dying?” he begged. “I can’t take it. Not with you standing there with the bruises still on your face and you not letting me touch you.”
“Okay, Walker.”
“I’m not sure you realize how much of a miracle it is that you’re standing in front of me right now.
Every day, hundreds of people go missing, never to be seen again.
And from everything Agent Tucker has found out, and what me and the team suspect as well, you were taken by the Sinaloa.
The most ruthless and dangerous drug cartel the world has ever known.
They hijacked a plane, for God’s sake, in order to get back at a rival drug gang.
“Not only were you left alive, but they didn’t sexually abuse you, they didn’t break any bones, they didn’t send body parts to me in the mail, threatening to do more if I didn’t do what they wanted. You should not be standing in front of me right now. It makes no sense. None.
“I know I’ve been overbearing and an ass for the last week, but it’s because I love you so damn much, and the thought of someone deciding they made a mistake and you shouldn’t have been set free, and recapturing you, makes me absolutely crazy.
I can’t go through that again. I can’t! It’s unfair for you, and it makes me look like a domineering boyfriend when I can’t leave your side for two minutes without making sure someone is watching over you, but I literally can’t do anything else.
“I’ll get better, I promise. But all I want is for you to be safe.
I want to marry you. Have a family. Grow old with you.
I know you’re independent. I love that you have your own life, that you don’t need me to be happy.
If you ever decided you didn’t love me anymore and you left me, it would suck, but ultimately, I’d be okay…
because I’d know you were alive and well.
But if you were killed, I wouldn’t be able to survive.
“You were meant to be mine, Gillian. I need you like I need air to breathe. You’ve changed my life in such a short time it’s almost unbelievable.
I used to live for the Army. For my teammates.
But now I live for you. Now that I’ve had a taste of what my life can be with you, I can’t go back. Please tell me you understand.”
Gillian’s eyes were filled with tears. She’d known Walker was on edge and worried about her, but she hadn’t realized to what extent. She took a step toward him, and before she realized that he’d moved, she was in his arms.
“I love you, Walker. I understand, I do. I’m not saying I want to jaunt off to Austin by myself.
I don’t think I’ll be able to go there by myself ever again.
I assumed you’d be with me.” She looked up at him.
“I swear I’ll be careful. I won’t complain if you dog my every step during the party.
I just…I’ve worked hard to build up my business.
If I flake out on this event, it’ll hurt.
Clients will lose confidence in me. It doesn’t matter that I was possibly kidnapped by a drug cartel; people are selfish.
They want what they want. They might be sympathetic toward me and what happened, but they still want their party. ”
“I’ll want the rest of the team to be there as well,” Walker said after a moment.
Gillian nodded. “I have no problem with that.”
“And you aren’t to go anywhere without one of us with you.”
“Even to the bathroom?” she teased.