Chapter 3 #2
Kinley studied the man in front of her. He seemed sincere.
She didn’t have a lot of experience with men though.
Hell, she had no experience with men…except for politicians.
And every word out of their mouths was a lie.
Pretty words to sway others into supporting them with their vote or with their wallet.
Gage didn’t seem like that. At all. She wanted to believe him…but he had to understand she wasn’t like most women.
“I’m a virgin,” she blurted.
The three words hung in the air between them during a long pause, and Kinley wanted to die. It was what she’d been thinking, but she hadn’t meant to just blurt it out.
“I mean…I’m not like the women you’ve known in the past. I’m a nerd.
I go out and do stuff, but it’s generally by myself and not with friends.
But I like being by myself. I don’t get depressed if I sit in my apartment all weekend and don’t do anything or go anywhere.
I’m perfectly happy with my own company.
Most people think I’m weird. And I am weird.
I’m not good with relationships. I never had anyone to watch growing up to show me how they’re supposed to be done.
I say the wrong thing all the time—like just now—and I’m embarrassing.
“I just…I didn’t write you back because I knew after a while, you’d realize exactly how strange I am.
Then you’d have to figure out a way to distance yourself from me.
I figured I’d wake up one day and realize that I hadn’t heard from you in a while, and when I asked you about it, you’d tell me you’d just been busy and that would be that. ”
Kinley realized she was out of breath by the time she’d finished speaking, in her rush to get the words out, but she wanted to be as honest as possible with Gage. “If you’re spending time with me because you want to sleep with me, it’s not going to happen.”
“Breathe, Kinley,” Gage said calmly, reaching over and taking her hand in his.
“First of all, I’m intrigued by you because you’re not like any woman I’ve known before.
I think it’s great that you’re happy with your own company.
You don’t need anyone else to validate your likes and dislikes.
You are who you are, and that’s really refreshing.
I don’t give a fuck if you’re strange. In fact, I like your kind of strange.
“I’m not going to wake up one day and try to figure out a way to get out of our friendship.
Honestly, I figure that you’ll be the one who’ll get tired of me.
Kins, it’s more than obvious that you’re smarter than me.
You’re nicer, more patient, and most definitely a better person.
Why you’d want to even entertain the prospect of being my friend is beyond me, and yet I want that more than I can explain.
“Also…do you think it’s a turn off that you’re a virgin?
” he asked, his tone dropping. “It’s not.
But for the record, right now, I just want to be your friend.
Am I attracted to you? Yes. But my days of one-night stands are over.
I want to get to know a woman before I share my body with her.
I want to know what makes her happy, what movies she enjoys.
I want to meet her friends and family and feel a bone-deep connection before we hop into bed.
Maybe that makes me sound like a pussy, but I don’t care. ”
“I don’t have any friends or family,” Kinley admitted softly.
She couldn’t read the expression on his face, but she didn’t want his pity, so she continued on.
“I already told you I was an odd duck. I wasn’t lying.
I was raised in a series of foster homes and none of the adults ever wanted to adopt me.
Probably because I spent most of my time hanging out in my room reading rather than interacting with anyone in the house.
I was able to get some scholarships to college—being a foster kid helped with that—and when I left my last foster home, I took all my stuff and never went back… not that I was invited.
“I spent all my time studying in college, and when I graduated, got a job in DC, thanks to one of my internships. I tried to make some friends, but everyone’s too interested in moving up the political ladder, and I learned, after a few painful mistakes, that in order to have friends, I have to be someone I’m not.
” She shrugged. “It was easier to hang out in my apartment by myself.”
“Listen to me, and listen good,” Gage said, putting a hand on the side of her neck and leaning into her.
Kinley stilled. His hand on her skin felt good. Really good. Her nipples puckered under her white cotton utilitarian bra, and she was genuinely shocked by her body’s reaction.
“Are you listening?” he asked, and Kinley could feel his warm breath against her cheek.
She nodded.
“I want you to be exactly who you are with me. I like you, Kinley. So you aren’t like other people, who cares?
That makes you unique. I’ll share my friends with you.
And my family. I don’t have any brothers or sisters, but my parents would love you.
I’d say that they’d be happy to adopt you, but the last thing I want is for you to be my sister… even if it’s only on paper.”
Kinley barely dared to breathe. All she could do was stare into Gage’s brown eyes and wonder how the hell she’d been lucky enough to catch his interest.
“Just give me a chance,” Gage said. “We’re all strange in our own ways. You know what it is I do, there’ll be times I’ll be out of pocket and can’t communicate with you. It might be a week, or it could be two months. But don’t give up on me, okay?”
Kinley nodded. “Okay.”
“I thought I’d done or said something that pissed you off,” Gage continued.
“I wracked my brain to try to figure out what it was that I’d done to cause you to ghost me.
I hated the feeling…because I like you, Kins.
I like your innocence, and I’m not talking about sex—although again, it is not a turn off to know no one has ever touched you before—I’m talking about the way you see the world.
It’s as if you see straight to the heart of people.
You can see through the bullshit. I think that’s what intrigued me about you from the start.
You looked at me and didn’t see a tall, scary soldier, you saw Gage.
And no one ever sees me the first time they look at me. ”
“You didn’t say or do anything wrong, it was me,” Kinley said softly.
“Okay,” Gage said. They stared at each other for a heartbeat before he asked, “You feel it too, don’t you?”
She’d never heard him sound so unsure before. But she didn’t have to ask him what he meant. She knew. Kinley nodded.
His thumb brushed against the underside of her jaw once, before he dropped his hand and sat back in his chair. He nudged her arm and said, “Eat up, Kins. We’ve got a lot of walking to do this morning, especially if we’re gonna see everything before I have to get you back to the conference.”
Kinley picked up the croissant sitting on the plate in front of her, but before she took a bite, she said, “If you want to take another chance and email or message me…I’ll answer.”
She liked the smile that crossed his face. “I’d like that,” he said simply.
But for some reason, Kinley couldn’t leave it at that. “Sometimes I forget to check my messages, because it’s not like I have anyone who emails me other than Walter, so if I don’t get back to you right away, don’t think I’m ghosting you again. Okay?”
“Okay, Kins. I don’t expect you to get back to me within ten seconds or anything. Just don’t shut me out again.”
“I won’t. I swear.”
They gazed at each other for another long moment. Kinley felt as vulnerable as she’d ever been. She tried to let Gage see her sincerity. Finally, he nodded then gestured to her food. “Eat, Kinley.”
“Bossy,” she muttered.
He grinned. “Yup.”
Grinning, she ate.
A few hours later, after visiting the Champs-élysées and the Arc de Triomphe, taking a few pictures outside the Louvre, and eating macarons until their stomachs hurt, they’d made their way to the Eiffel Tower.
“Want to go up?” Lefty asked Kinley.
She had her head tilted back, and she was staring up at the iconic French landmark with wide eyes. “No.”
“No?” Lefty asked in surprise.
“No,” she confirmed. “I researched it before I left DC…not that I thought I’d have the chance to see it up close like this, but…
just because. Anyway, the third floor isn’t super big.
There’s not much room. I don’t think you’d like it up there and you wouldn’t fit very well at all.
And…I don’t like being that close to people.
I just…it’s beautiful from down here, I wouldn’t want to ruin that by going to the top and seeing the graffiti that I’m sure is up there. ”
“Okay, Kins. We can stay down here,” Lefty said.
He wanted to help her get over her obvious fear of the tower, but in truth, they didn’t have a lot of time to wait in the long line for tickets.
He didn’t know if she was scared of heights or if it truly was just being so close to others, but he wanted to help her get over any fears.
Baby steps, he reminded himself. Today was about Kinley having fun, not banishing all her fears in one day.
She hadn’t looked away from the tower, and Lefty grinned. He took her elbow and carefully led her to a bench nearby. She sat, still looking up, and Lefty didn’t interrupt her thoughts.
She was right, she didn’t talk much, but when she did, he always seemed to learn something.
She hadn’t wanted to go into the Louvre because she’d said it was the biggest museum in the world and, in order to do it justice, she’d need hours and hours to take it all in.
She’d also informed him that a mummy named Belphegor was said to haunt the museum.