Chapter 6 #3
“I think you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met,” Kinley told Gillian honestly when she was finally done telling her story.
Gillian shook her head. “I’m really not.
I mean, I’m an event planner, for God’s sake.
I spend my life planning parties and celebrations.
I’m no hero; I’ve never even held a gun.
I like people, but I also like sitting at home reading a book.
Though…it’s my belief that everyone is stronger than they think.
We never know how strong we can be until it’s our only option.
If you had told me that I would someday be in the middle of a hostage situation, I wouldn’t have believed you.
If you’d told me I would’ve been able to stand in front of a woman holding a gun on me, refusing to get into her car, I would’ve laughed in your face.
I’m a people pleaser. I do what I’m told.
But at that moment, I knew if I got in that car, I would’ve ended up dead. ”
“I wish I was stronger,” Kinley admitted.
“I don’t know you, but I have a feeling you’re a hell of a lot stronger than you’re giving yourself credit for.
Again, no one asks for shit to happen to them in life.
No one wants to have a chronic disease. Or to have their child die.
Or have their lover killed in battle. No one asks to grow up in poverty or to be homeless.
No one wants to be born with a disability that makes them struggle every day of their life.
We learn how to be strong because we have no other choice.
“And when we’re put in situations where we have to be strong, we downplay what we did and how awesome we were. You might not feel as if you’re brave or strong, but I have a feeling you’re probably on the top of the heap when it comes to strength.”
Kinley was speechless. She wasn’t sure what to say to that.
First, it was the best compliment she’d ever received.
She thought about her life, about how hard it had been, and realized that Gillian might be right.
It wasn’t easy growing up without parents or affection, but somehow she’d managed.
It hadn’t been easy working in Washington, DC, but she’d done that too.
She had no idea if she’d make it out of the mess she’d somehow found herself in just because she’d looked out her hotel window at the wrong time (or was it the right time?), but she had to have faith that she would. “Thank you,” she said after a long moment.
“You’re welcome,” Gillian said easily. “I know you said you have to go, but maybe you wouldn’t mind sticking around for a while?
It’s been lonely with Walker gone. I have to make some calls this morning still, I’m planning a two-year-cancer-free celebration for an Army spouse, and I’d love some company. ”
Kinley knew she should say no, that she had to get going, but she found herself nodding instead.
“Great!” Gillian said with enthusiasm.
Three hours later, Kinley looked up from the book she’d been reading and blinked in surprise. Gillian had told her to help herself to whatever she wanted to read from her bookshelves, and after finding a romance that looked interesting, Kinley had settled onto the couch to start it.
She’d only gotten up once—to fold her laundry and change back into clothes of her own—and then she’d dived back into the book.
Looking to her left, Kinley saw Gillian sitting on the other end of the sofa, reading her own book.
Kinley couldn’t help the smile that crossed her face.
“What?” Gillian asked after looking up and seeing it.
“I…we’re just sitting here next to each other, reading. Not talking.”
“Oh. Sorry, are you bored?” Gillian asked, closing her book.
“No!” Kinley exclaimed. “It’s not that at all.
I just…this is perfect. All my life I’ve been made fun of for being able to tune everything out around me while I’m reading.
The foster parents I had made it seem like I was being rude, and when I did have friends and we hung out, I always felt as if I had to talk. ”
“Oh my God, me too,” Gillian said with a smile.
“I mean, I admit that I like to talk, but I’m also happy to sit and just be.
Besides, I’ve been binging this one author’s books.
I forced myself to get some work done first, but I’m happy to get the chance to just sit here and read.
It’s nice to have you here, even if we don’t talk. ”
Kinley smiled at the other woman. She looked at her watch and realized that it was past time for her to go. She put the book down and stood.
“You’re going?” Gillian asked.
“Yeah.”
“Okay. But you’ll come back tomorrow, right?”
Kinley blinked in surprise.
“I mean, I don’t know when Walker and the others will be back, so you need to come back and see if Lefty’s here, right? I’d love to hang out again.”
“I…I’d like that,” Kinley told her.
“Great. It’s a plan. Do you have a phone? I can call you if I hear from Walker.”
Kinley shook her head. “No. I had one, but I lost it.” That wasn’t exactly true, but it was as close to the truth as she was willing to admit to Gillian at this point. She had a throwaway phone, but she still didn’t want to have an electronic tie to anyone Stryker and Brown could use against her.
“That’s okay. Feel free to take the book you were reading with you,” Gillian offered.
Once again, Kinley felt like she was going to cry. She’d known this woman for only a few hours, and she’d treated her better than any of her so-called friends had over the years. “Thanks,” she said. “I promise not to mess it up.”
Gillian waved her hand. “You can’t mess it up,” she said breezily. “I mean, it’s a book. The pages might get dirty and the cover torn, but it doesn’t change what’s inside.”
And that right there seemed to be a metaphor for Kinley’s own life. From the outside looking in, she was a hot mess. Small, odd, standoffish…but inside, she was a good person, longing to show the world she could be the best partner and friend if she was just given a chance.
“Be safe out there, okay?” Gillian said as Kinley picked up her duffle bag and headed for the door.
“I will,” Kinley said. She had no problem with Gillian not asking her to stay.
She was a stranger, after all. It wouldn’t be smart or safe to ask her to spend the night.
It was crazy enough that she’d invited her inside her apartment in the first place.
But Kinley would never forget Gillian’s kindness.
Before she left the apartment complex, Kinley knocked on Gage’s door, not expecting him to answer. When he didn’t, she walked to her car and put her bag in the backseat. She had nowhere to go, but at least she was clean and wasn’t hungry anymore.
She just had to bide her time. Gage would eventually return, and she would talk to him and get his advice.
Things might not work out the way she wanted, he might say he couldn’t help her and she’d be on her own again, but for now, she felt good. She’d made a new friend, and she’d do whatever she could to keep Gillian safe from the danger she felt was right on her heels.
Eventually, whoever had tried to kill her would find her, and the last thing Kinley wanted was to put anyone else in danger.