Chapter 12 #3
“And I’m afraid the more time you spend with me, you’ll figure out that I’m not the man you’ve made me out to be in your mind.
I’m not a superhero, Kins. I’m just a guy.
I’ve got flaws like everyone else. I’m bossy, overprotective, and I love watching sports a bit too much.
I’m not going to be able to stomach watching any of those stupid reality shows on TV, even for you.
I have a job that’s unpredictable, and I’ll have to leave you behind to deal with whatever shit crops up more than I’d like.
I want to say I’ll put you first in my life, but the reality is that the Army comes first… at least until I retire.”
He paused as if waiting for her negative reaction. Kinley shrugged. “And?”
“And what?”
“Is that it? Those are all your flaws?”
He grinned and shook his head. “No. That’s just the tip of the iceberg.”
“Gage, I don’t expect you to be perfect.”
“It’s a good thing,” he said quickly.
“Let me talk,” she huffed.
“Sorry, add interrupting to the list,” he said with a smile.
She wanted to be annoyed with him, but couldn’t be.
Not when he was so damn cute. “My entire life…I’ve tried to figure out what’s wrong with me.
Why I wasn’t loveable. Why no one wanted to keep me.
I came to the conclusion that it was my lot in life to be alone.
And I was okay with that, Gage. Then you came along and made me feel…
normal. You didn’t hesitate to help me out in Africa, and you treated me as if I was just another woman.
No, that’s not true. You made me feel special.
“I already told you that it freaked me out. That you must’ve been delusional or something, and that’s why I didn’t write you back.
But then you were just as amazing in Paris.
When I had no one else to turn to, I immediately thought of you.
I prayed the entire way to Texas that you wouldn’t take one look at me and ask me what the hell I was doing here.
I didn’t mean to get sick, but I guess with all the stress and me not eating right and sleeping in my car, it was too much.
And you took care of me. I know you don’t understand what that meant to me, but suffice it to say, no one’s ever done that for me before. And you didn’t even know me.”
“I knew you,” Gage said.
Kinley shook her head. “You know what I mean.”
“I know what you mean, but I don’t email and text every woman I meet while on a job, Kinley. You’re the one and only person I’ve felt that immediate connection to.”
She swallowed hard and finished her thought.
“I can’t promise not to embarrass you, because I say the wrong thing all the time.
I can’t promise to be super social; more often than not I’ll want to stay in rather than go out and hang with others.
But I can promise to always treat you with respect.
To never cheat on you. To be there when you need to talk about work, and to be there when you don’t want to talk about work.
I know I’m not the best catch, but I swear that I’ll do everything in my power to make your life easy. ”
“Ah, sweetheart,” Gage said softly, but he didn’t elaborate.
He pulled her into him, and she went gladly, melting into his chest, curling her arm around him and holding him as tightly as he was holding her.
“I’m not a fortune teller,” he said after a moment.
“I have no idea what’s going to happen with Stryker or the case.
And I’m appalled that no one has seen what a gem you are, but that’s their loss and my gain.
How about we continue taking things one day at a time?
We’ll date, you’ll stay hunkered down here until we have more information, and we’ll just see how things go. All right?”
Kinley nodded. “Okay.”
Silence surrounded them for a minute or two before Kinley said, “Gage?”
“Yeah?”
“I might be a virgin, but I liked our kiss. A lot.”
She felt more than heard him chuckle. “Me too, sweetheart.”
“Dating means we’ll do more of that, right?”
This time his laugh was louder. “Oh, yeah, we’re gonna do more of that. I know you said that you’ve used toys and gotten off before, but exactly how much of a virgin are you?”
Kinley sat up and looked at him in confusion. “I think there’s only one kind of virgin, Gage.”
He was grinning, but the look in his eyes was tender.
“This is a hard conversation for me to have because the thought of anyone else touching you makes me want to hurt them, but…have you seen a cock? Like, in person? Has anyone ever touched your pussy? Made you come? Sucked your tits? I know I’m being crude, but I’m trying to find out exactly how innocent you are. ”
Kinley knew her face was probably flaming, but if Gage could be an adult while talking about this, so could she.
“I’ve French kissed before, although what we just did was, hands down, better than anything I’ve ever experienced.
A guy put his hand up my shirt, but he squeezed my breast too hard so I kneed him in the groin.
Needless to say, he called me a prude and that was the last time I went out with him. ”
At the grim look in Gage’s eyes, she went on quickly. “I had a guy flash me before, does that count as seeing a real dick?”
“No,” Gage said, then closed his eyes and shook his head.
“What about dick pics through social media? Do those count?”
He opened his eyes. “You’re fucking with me now, aren’t you?”
She shook her head. “Actually, no. I’m trying to answer your question but not seem like a total loser at the same time.”
“You aren’t a loser if you haven’t seen or touched a man’s dick, Kinley.”
“I’m twenty-nine and still a virgin. That’s pathetic,” she told him.
“It’s beautiful,” Gage countered.
“I’ve masturbated,” she said, wanting this conversation over with. “I’ve used a dildo on myself, but didn’t understand what the big deal was. It hurt, and it really did nothing for me. I like my vibrator, though.”
“Birth control?” Gage asked in a tight voice.
Kinley shook her head. “No need. My periods are regular, and it’s not like I was gonna need to be on the pill for any reason anytime soon.”
“Are you allergic to latex?” he asked.
Kinley shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Gage nodded. “All right, we’ll check back in on that after our first time. But all that gives me something to go on.”
“You…do you still want to go out with me?” she asked shyly.
“If you think me having to use condoms when we make love, and the fact that I’ll be the first man to touch you, taste you, get inside you, is going to turn me off, you’re insane,” he said, completely seriously.
“Kinley, the more I get to know you, the more interested I am. We’ll go slowly when it comes to being intimate, but you need to know that I want you.
I’ve thought about you for months, ever since I met you in Africa, and getting to know you in Paris and over the last few weeks has only increased my desire to know more. ”
“Okay,” she whispered.
“Just okay?” he asked.
Kinley nodded.
“And for the record…you can touch me anytime and in any way you want. Nothing’s off limits to you.”
She blinked in surprise. “Even your…” She couldn’t say it, using her eyes to gesture to his lap instead.
He burst out laughing. “Yeah, even my dick,” Gage confirmed. “I want you to be completely comfortable with me before we go all the way.”
“Are you going to touch me too?” she asked.
It was a few seconds before he answered. “Eventually.”
Kinley pouted. A hand-to-God pout. And she didn’t even care. “That’s not fair.”
“I’m trying to be a gentleman,” he said.
“This isn’t the eighteenth century.”
“I’m aware. But you haven’t had good examples or role models when it comes to relationships. I want to show you what it’s like to be the center of attention for once.”
Kinley didn’t know what to say to that.
“As much as I don’t want to change the subject, I need to,” Gage said after a moment. “Cruz is right in that you have to be very, very careful. We have no idea how long this case will take, and you could be in danger every minute of every day. You can’t ever take your safety for granted. Okay?”
Kinley nodded.
“You aren’t a prisoner in this apartment.
You’re free to come and go. I would ask, however, that you take my truck instead of your car.
Wear a hat, and don’t talk to anyone you don’t know.
If you can take Gillian or someone else with you, that’s ideal.
There might be a case without you, but it won’t be as strong, and the more time that goes by, the more desperate Stryker is gonna get.
” He touched his lips to her temple and continued to speak.
“I was serious. I just found you, Kinley. I can’t lose you. ”
“I’ll be careful,” she said.
“Okay.”
How long they sat together on his couch, Kinley wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she loved having his hands on her and feeling his hard thighs under her. She might be a virgin, but she wasn’t a nun. She wanted to know how good sex could be. And she wanted Gage to teach her.
When he finally stood, Kinley had her libido under control.
She listened as he called Trigger and told him what Cruz had said.
Then he’d passed the phone to her, and she’d talked to Gillian for a while.
Afterward, he proceeded to call everyone else on his team, informing them that the FBI was now involved and hopefully they’d hear before too long whether they thought there was any kind of case against Stryker and Brown, and if the French authorities wanted to talk to her and prosecute.
They spent the rest of the day holed up in Gage’s apartment. He ordered a couple of security cameras for the inside of his apartment, just in case, and Kinley did her best to lose herself in another book that Gillian had lent her.