Chapter 20
Kinley felt like she was going to throw up.
It had been over seven months since she’d seen or talked to Gage. Two hundred and fifteen days, to be exact. And she’d thought about him every last one of those two hundred and fifteen days. Went to sleep with him on her mind and woke up missing him.
She hadn’t made any friends while she’d been living in New York City. Not only that, but she hadn’t been able to sleep with the windows open, listening to the sounds of the cicadas. All she’d heard was horns, sirens, and people. She’d missed Texas and couldn’t wait to get out of the city.
As part of her relocation, she’d been given a job at the New York Public Library on Fifty-Third Street, and had spent most of her days stocking shelves. A perk of the job was that she could read as much as she wanted, but that only made her miss Gillian and everyone else all the more.
Her studio apartment was stark and bare, and completely fit her mood most days. When she’d heard Simon had been killed, she’d had the fleeting hope that she could go back to Texas, but her handlers had quashed that hope by telling her she was still in danger.
Testifying in Stryker’s trial had been terrifying, but having Merlin, Woof, Jangles, Zip, and even the dour Duff at her side every step of the way, went a long way toward making her feel better. She knew them from her old life, and even that small connection was enough to calm her.
Stryker had been found guilty on charges of child pornography but, more importantly, he’d been convicted of killing émilie Arseneault.
He wasn’t charged with the murders of the other teenagers who detectives believe The Alleyway Strangler had killed, because there wasn’t enough evidence, but his sentence of sixty years without parole might as well have been a death sentence.
He wasn’t ever going to get out of the French prison, and Kinley couldn’t have been more relieved.
While in Paris, she’d met émilie’s parents, and while she couldn’t understand them, or vice versa, they’d still somehow clicked. It had felt good to make a difference at that trial. Her testifying wouldn’t bring their daughter back, but it had prevented another family from suffering as they had.
Kinley had thought maybe she’d leave Paris and go straight to Texas, but that wasn’t the case. Apparently, the government moved very slowly, even when it came to letting someone go back to their old life.
Her handlers had suggested that maybe she stay in New York and not try to reintegrate back into the life she’d left behind, for her own safety, but Kinley knew she had to try.
Gage might not be able to forgive her for leaving like she had.
It had been cowardly of her to not talk to him about her decision, but at the time, it had felt like her only choice.
It had taken a while for her to heal from her injuries, but just as she’d done in that ravine, she’d taken things one minute at a time. One day at a time. One week at a time.
And now she was here in Killeen.
Merlin had told her that he and his team would be moving to Texas, and he’d given her his number. Kinley knew she could’ve called Trigger, or anyone else on Gage’s team, but she was too scared.
Merlin was safe. He’d stayed up with her one night and listened to her entire sob story.
From being an unwanted foster kid who’d never been adopted, to when she’d decided to enter witness protection.
He hadn’t interrupted or told her she was crazy.
He’d simply listened. Then he’d given her a hug and said Gage was one lucky man.
He’d given her his number and told her to call him when she was ready to return to Killeen.
So she had.
And he’d managed to set up this meeting tonight.
Standing outside the bar, Kinley was having second, and third, thoughts. This was a stupid idea. What if she went inside and saw Gage flirting with someone else? What if he’d found another girlfriend by now? Her return would make things awkward for everyone.
Then she took a deep breath. She wasn’t the same person she’d been seven months ago.
Or even nine months ago. Living what she’d lived through and loving Gage had changed her.
She felt stronger. She no longer cared that she was weird.
She was who she was, and if someone didn’t like her, it didn’t matter.
Gage had shown her that there wasn’t anything wrong with her. He and his mother had done what no one had been able to do in twenty-nine years…shown her that she was loveable exactly as she was. Made her like herself.
She straightened her shoulders and took a deep breath. What was the worst that could happen? Gage could’ve been so mad that he’d fallen out of love with her and found someone else. Right?
Of course, that would devastate her, but no matter what, she’d be all right. She’d lived through everything else life had thrown at her, she’d survive this too.
She marched up to the door of the bar and opened it before she chickened out.
The noise level inside was insanely loud, and Kinley’s head immediately began to pound. Ever since her concussion, she’d found that she was much more sensitive to loud noises, but she refused to back down now.
The room was dim and the flashing lights on the dance floor made it hard to recognize anyone, but she pushed forward toward the bar area.
Merlin had texted and told her that’s where everyone was hanging out.
Kinley had waited seven long months for this day, and she was more than ready to get it over with. Whatever happened, happened.
But the second she caught sight of Gage, her bravado disappeared as if it had never been there. She felt like she was seven years old again, and she was waiting to hear from her case worker on whether the current family she was living with wanted to adopt her (they hadn’t).
One by one, the men standing around Gage saw her and stilled. It would’ve been comical if it wasn’t her life. Trigger elbowed Brain, who nudged Oz. Slowly but surely, Gage’s entire team had turned to stare at her.
Then Zip saw her, and he got Merlin’s attention. Then Jangles and Woof smiled huge when they noticed her. But it was Duff who made the first move. He walked up to her, leaned down and kissed her cheek.
“’Bout time you got here,” he said gruffly as he curled his arm around hers and turned them to face the group.
“Kinley!” Gillian gasped, tears already coursing down her cheeks.
Kinley barely noticed Devyn, Ann, Wendy, and Clarissa standing there…
Her eyes were glued to Gage’s.
But then he turned his back to her, placed his drink on the bar, rested his hands on the oak, and dropped his head.
Kinley’s stomach plunged.
She hadn’t known what to expect as a reaction from Gage, but that wasn’t it.
She tore her arm from Duff’s and turned to stumble blindly for the door.
She’d been wrong. She couldn’t handle Gage’s rejection. Not after everything she’d sacrificed. All her pep talks about accepting whatever happened were bullshit. It was hard to breathe, and she knew if she didn’t get out of there, she was going to seriously embarrass herself by bursting into tears.
She’d barely gone a few steps when someone took hold of her arm. She was spun around, and the next thing she knew, her face was planted in Gage’s chest.
For a second, she stood there stock still, frozen, but at the first inhale of his familiar woodsy scent, she melted.
She felt his arms tighten, and hers did the same to him.
She pressed against him harder, wanting to fuse her body with his.
They stood there, in the middle of a crowded bar, music blaring and people bumping into them, without saying a word.
Simply clinging to each other. Kinley couldn’t make herself let go.
After several deeply emotional moments, Kinley finally realized the jostling against her wasn’t other people…but Gage’s body heaving with sobs.
Feeling him lose it made her lose her own battle against tears.
After a few more moments, Gage whispered into her ear, “You came back.”
Kinley nodded. “It was my plan all along. I was going to come back as soon as you were safe.”
“Don’t leave me again!” he pleaded. “I can’t go through that again.”
She pulled back until they were looking at each other eye to eye. “I won’t,” she told him.
“Promise me,” he ordered.
“I promise,” she repeated.
“Marry me,” Gage blurted.
“What?”
“Marry me,” he said again. “If we’re married, no one can separate us ever again. Not without a hell of a fight.”
Kinley’s stomach rolled. “Is that the only reason?”
“Fuck no!” Gage said without hesitation.
“I love you. I think I love you more today than I did the last time I saw you. I’ve had a lot of time to think about what you did, and your strength amazes me more with every passing day, Kinley.
I’m not nearly as strong as you, but I’m hoping you might rub off on me even just a little bit. ”
Kinley snorted and shook her head.
He brought his hands up to her face and held her still as he leaned down and gently kissed her forehead.
Then her nose. Then her cheeks. Then finally he brushed his lips against hers.
“I love you, Kins. I didn’t ever expect to feel this way about someone.
You leaving made me realize how much I’d come to rely on having you in my life.
Even after only a few short weeks. Make an honest man out of me? ”
As wedding proposals went, it wasn’t exactly the most romantic. They were standing in the middle of a crowded bar with a nineties boy band playing in the background. But as far as Kinley was concerned, it was the most romantic thing that had ever happened to her.
“I don’t think I can answer that until I find out what kind of lover you are,” she teased, feeling brave and happier than she’d ever been in her life.
“I mean, what if we aren’t compatible in bed?
I love you and all, but that would make getting married awkward and extremely disappointing in the long run. ”