Chapter 18
One week.
Seven long days. That’s how long it had been since Brain had seen or talked to Aspen.
He’d been held in the hospital for four days because of an infection and concern over the swelling of his brain.
When he’d gotten back to his house, he’d had a constant stream of guests to look after him…
but not the one person he most wanted to see.
He’d thought about calling her, but didn’t want to risk her hanging up on him before he could say what he needed to. He couldn’t just drive himself to her apartment because he hadn’t been cleared to get behind the wheel of a car until today.
But what he did have was a lot of time to think.
Think about what happened down in Houston with Spence. How he’d clearly snapped.
Brain hadn’t wanted to get into the boat, but he’d done it anyway. It had been stupid to put his back to the man, but he literally had no clue Spence would’ve tried to fucking kill him.
He’d felt some kind of sixth sense and turned at the last second, only to find the oar coming right at him. Brain hadn’t had time to duck, and he didn’t remember actually getting hit. He’d been immediately knocked unconscious and didn’t recall anything until he’d woken up in the hospital.
But his friends had been happy to give him all the gory details.
He knew he’d been floating facedown in the floodwaters when Aspen had jumped in after him.
Brain ached to see her. To apologize. To beg her for forgiveness.
But he’d been biding his time, hoping to be one hundred percent better before he went to her.
The last thing he wanted was to blurt out more bullshit and ruin his chances of winning her back.
Brain had no idea if she would even take him back, but he was going to do everything in his power to convince her that he’d been an idiot, and that he loved her.
And today was the day.
The memorial for Spence was being held this morning.
Under any other circumstance, Brain wouldn’t have gone anywhere near the chapel.
The man had tried to kill him, after all.
But Grover had told him Aspen was going to attend.
He had no idea why she’d want to go, but he did want to support her however he could.
He’d finally been given approval by the post doctor to drive, so after Brain put on his dress green uniform and the sunglasses he wore because of the constant headache he still had, he climbed into his Challenger and headed for the base chapel.
The parking lot was full, but not overly so, and Brain easily found a space to park. Taking a deep breath, and knowing the next half hour wasn’t going to be easy, he walked into the chapel.
It looked like the service had just started, and Brain immediately spotted Aspen. She was also wearing her dress green uniform and was sitting in one of the back pews, behind the rest of the mourners. She sat alone, her spine ramrod straight as she stared at the chaplain.
Brain slipped into the pew and sat next to her, holding his breath. But other than a quick sideways glance, she didn’t acknowledge him in any way. Not that he thought she’d make a scene; that wasn’t her way. But Brain hadn’t been sure of his reception.
The next twenty minutes were tough. Listening to the post chaplain praise Spence, talk about what a good man he was and how his death was a great loss to both the Army and his family, was a joke.
It was a hard pill to swallow that the man who’d done his best to kill him was being lauded as if he were a hero.
But finally the service was over. And Brain turned to Aspen. “Hey.”
“Hi,” she said evenly, no emotion showing on her face.
“This is the last place I expected you to be this morning,” he said.
She shrugged.
Brain took her in. She looked rough. Her face was pale, and she still had circles under her eyes. If he wasn’t mistaken, her heart rate was too fast. He could see it pulsing in her neck.
“Can we talk?” he blurted, wanting more than ever to take her in his arms and comfort her.
Aspen nodded, and Brain sighed in relief.
“But not here,” she said.
“Of course,” he said immediately, standing and holding out a hand for her.
To his surprise, she took it.
He’d never felt relief as great as he did right at that moment. She hadn’t slapped his hand away. Didn’t tell him to get lost.
He began to hope that maybe, just maybe, he hadn’t lost her forever.
The second she was standing, Aspen dropped his hand, and Brain tried not to be too disappointed. He gestured for her to precede him out of the pew, and she slipped by him into the aisle. She didn’t indicate in any way that she wanted to wait and talk to Spence’s relatives, which was a relief.
Once outside, Brain slipped his sunglasses back on his face, wincing at the bright sunlight and how it made his head throb. “Do you want to grab a coffee with me?” he asked, feeling out of his depth and awkward, which he hated.
But Aspen shook her head. “No. How about meeting back at my place…say in about twenty minutes? That will give me time to get there and change first.”
Brain nodded immediately. “Sounds good. I’ll run home and change myself, if that’s all right.”
“Of course. See you soon.” Then Aspen turned away from him and walked to her Elantra.
Brain had to force himself not to go after her when she staggered a bit, then straightened and unlocked her door. He had no idea what was going on with that small stumble…but he didn’t like it.
He drove home as fast as he could and threw on a pair of jeans and an olive-green button-down shirt.
It was a shirt Aspen had said she liked…
before he’d been an idiot and pushed her away.
She’d said it brought out the green in his hazel eyes.
He was willing to do whatever it took to remind her how good they were together. That at one time, she’d liked him.
He was five minutes early when he pulled into the parking lot at her apartment, and Brain forced himself to sit there until their arranged meeting time came around. Then he practically jogged into the building and to her apartment. He knocked, then heard her shout that the door was open.
Frowning at the fact she’d not only left her door unlocked, but that she hadn’t even checked to make sure it was him before telling him to enter, Brain pushed open the door. He shut and locked it behind him, taking a deep breath for courage before walking inside.
Aspen was sitting on her couch wearing a sweatshirt and cuddled under a fuzzy blanket. He took in the box of tissues, a glass of orange juice, and a stack of books on the table next to the couch, and asked, “Are you sick?”
Aspen’s lips twitched. “Can’t get anything by you, can I? Sit, Kane. We need to talk.”
Those four words had struck terror in the hearts of many men over the ages, but Brain had expected them.
That was why he was there in the first place.
He steeled himself, and instead of sitting in the chair across from the couch, which seemed as if it was too far away, he took a seat on the couch next to her.
Not touching, but being this close to her after everything he’d said seemed like a miracle.
Taking a deep breath, Brain blurted what he’d been thinking for seven long days.
“I love you.”
Aspen felt like crap. After leaving the hospital in Houston, she’d been shell-shocked.
Hurt, confused, and even a bit angry. The rain had finally stopped and the water had begun to recede.
She’d gone back to the tent city, changed into a spare pair of BDUs that she’d brought, helped break down the tents and pack the trucks to go back to Fort Hood.
She’d kept to herself and spent the ride back to Killeen going over and over everything that had happened. Every muscle she possessed hurt, and she knew she’d have bruises springing up all over her body.
After helping unload the trucks, Aspen had gone back to her apartment and slept for twenty hours. When she woke, she’d felt even worse than when she’d fallen into bed the day before. She’d called her major and told him she was sick and had slept for another twelve hours.
After five days, she was finally feeling better, but her body wasn’t quite back up to fighting form. She’d forced herself to get up and go to Derek’s memorial service, but had planned to come straight home and back to bed.
Seeing Kane had been a surprise. Even more that he’d sat next to her and asked to talk.
She was all for that.
She’d changed into the most comfortable fat pants and sweatshirt she owned and waited with bated breath for him to arrive. It was past time to talk about everything that had happened. Clear the air.
Kane sat next to her on the couch, and just when she opened her mouth to speak, he blurted out, “I love you. And I’m sorry.”
Aspen blinked in surprise. “What?”
“I love you,” he said again, firmer that time.
Aspen’s heart was beating out of her chest, but she did her best to keep her emotions under control. “Last time I saw you, you broke up with me. I’m getting whiplash from your signals, Kane.”
He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I know. And the only thing I have to say for myself is that I wasn’t me in that hospital a week ago.”
Aspen raised an eyebrow.
“I know that sounds like an excuse, but it’s not. I’d just woken up, and was confused and depressed and hurting. I was so fucking happy to see you, but then the doctor kicked you out and began to inspect me.”
“Inspect you?” Aspen asked with a small chuckle.
Kane’s lips twitched, but he nodded. “You know what I mean. It felt like an inspection. I was relieved when I seemed to remember everything, but when he told the nurse something in Spanish, and she responded…I realized that I couldn’t understand them.
It completely freaked me out. Then I realized I didn’t remember any of the languages I’d learned over the years.
Not one. The words were just gone. It felt as if I had a hole in my head.