Chapter 8 #3
“He swore he was fine, that he was going to pay me back for the stuff he was stealing. Then insisted he’d score big one day, and I’d regret laughing.
He’d have millions of dollars and he wouldn’t give me a dime.
I told him that I didn’t want his money.
That I just wanted to spend some time with him without having to worry if he was going to rob me blind! ”
Remembering what happened next made the first tear leak out of her eye. It was nearly impossible to believe what was happening then, in the middle of their fight, and now, over a year later, it was still hard.
As Devyn was trying to get herself under control and not become a sobbing mess, she jerked in surprise when Angel hopped up onto the couch next to her.
The scruffy dog nuzzled her hand, and dutifully, Devyn petted her head.
Angel plopped her butt down and stretched out, resting her head on Devyn’s leg.
Looking up at Lucky, she whispered, “Has she done this before?”
“No,” Lucky said softly. “She’s never demanded pets like that with me before.”
Devyn looked back down at the dog practically sitting in her lap.
Her fur was still a mess, she looked like she’d just woken up from a particularly hard nap, with hair sticking up all over her head.
But her soulful brown eyes looked into her own, and Devyn wanted to melt.
She petted the dog with one hand while Lucky still held the other.
“I don’t think she likes it that you’re upset,” Lucky said. “Can’t say I do either.”
Whiskers was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, looking up at her protector with concerned eyes. It was obvious she was trying to decide what to do. In the end, she hopped up onto the couch and settled in next to Angel.
“Now you’re all sandwiched in,” Lucky said with a smile.
Devyn nodded and took a deep breath. She wiped away her tears and continued with her story.
“Right. So, Spencer thought the next big win was just around the corner. He had the balls to ask me for a thousand bucks. The box of my shit—which he was going to steal—was sitting on the floor next to him, and he wanted to borrow money. I laughed again. I couldn’t help it.
Told him that even if I had that kind of money, I wouldn’t give it to him to throw away.
“He didn’t like that. Said I was selfish and always had been.
Ranted about how I owed him, that I took away his childhood, since Mom and Dad were always with me in the hospital.
We got into a big fight, screaming at each other.
I said things I regret now, and I’d like to think he regretted saying what he did too.
At one point, I tried to push him toward my door, to get him to leave, and he shoved me back.
Hard. I stumbled and lost my footing, and I fell against my table.
That’s how I really got that nasty bruise Kinley saw when you guys were helping me move into my apartment. ”
When Lucky didn’t say anything, Devyn risked looking up at him.
Shit. He looked absolutely furious.
“Your brother put his hands on you? He hurt you?”
Devyn shook her head. “It was an accident. He didn’t mean to push me so hard.” She wasn’t sure why she was trying to protect her brother. She knew in her gut his push was intentional.
“Bullshit. He knew what he was doing.” Lucky said, his tone tense. “I wouldn’t care if you guys were twins, it’s never okay to put your hands on someone else.”
Devyn couldn’t deny that Lucky’s anger on her behalf, and his support, felt damn good. “Anyway,” she said. “I fell, and he left without another word. I knew I couldn’t stay in Missouri after that.”
“Because you were afraid he’d hurt you again,” Lucky interrupted.
“No. Because I knew he’d never stop asking me for money.
He was desperate, Lucky, I could see it in his eyes, and sneaking into my place and trying to steal my shit made it abundantly clear.
I called him later that night and begged him to get some help.
To go to Gamblers Anonymous or something.
But once again he denied that he had a problem.
Told me that if I wouldn’t help him, he’d find the money somewhere else.
I didn’t like the sound of that, but was kind of relieved I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore.
Still…I made up the story about my boss hitting on me and left within a few days.
I didn’t want Mom and Dad to know about Spencer. ”
“Why not?” Lucky asked.
“Because it would devastate them. He’s always tried so hard to get their approval.
I think because he felt somewhat lost in the shuffle growing up.
I had their attention because of the leukemia, my sisters were older, and so they had plenty of attention from their friends and boys, and Fred honestly didn’t care one way or another.
But Spencer always cared. He craved their approval.
I didn’t want to tell Mom and Dad about my suspicions because they’d be disappointed in him.
They’d already almost divorced because of the stress over me being sick, and I don’t want to add any further stress to their lives. ”
“Why not tell Grover all this when you got here?”
“Because he’d get really mad at Spencer, and I didn’t want that either. They’ve always had somewhat of a competitive thing between them, more on Spence’s part than Fred’s. He was always trying to live up to his big brother’s sterling reputation…and falling flat.
“Don’t you get it, Lucky? I don’t want to be the reason my family splinters,” Devyn said, finally admitting her deepest fear.
“And if Fred knew Spencer was on my case about money, he’d lose his shit.
He’d tell Mom and Dad, they’d be upset, my sisters would hear about it and yell at Spencer… it would be a disaster.”
“So you’re trying to deal with it on your own,” Lucky said. “Upending your entire life to protect your brother.”
Devyn shrugged. “Yeah.”
“And now he’s calling you again. I’m guessing he’s harassing you for more money.”
Devyn nodded and refused to look up at Lucky. She didn’t know why she felt ashamed, when Spencer was the one who should feel bad.
“Look at me, Dev.”
Taking a big breath, she did.
“Thank you for telling me. I know that couldn’t have been easy.”
“You can’t tell Fred,” she said, biting her lip.
Lucky pulled her lip out of her teeth with his thumb, then palmed the side of her neck with his huge hand. “I won’t. As long as Spencer doesn’t do anything dumb, like break into your apartment, steal from you again, or put his hands on you.”
“He’s still in Missouri, he can’t do any of those things.”
“I know. Even still. You know you can’t help someone until they truly want to help themselves, right?”
“I know. But…he’s gotten worse,” Devyn admitted.
“How so?”
“He called me recently and said he needed fifty thousand dollars,” Devyn said.
Lucky shook his head and blew out a breath. “That’s a lot of money.”
“I know. He begged me to help him. Said he was in trouble. That if I could give him five thousand, he knew he could turn that into the fifty he needed.”
“You know the odds of him being able to do that are extremely low, especially considering his track record,” Lucky said.
“I know. He said more nasty things, then told me that when his dead body turned up in a cornfield somewhere, it would be all my fault.”
“Come here,” Lucky said, reaching for her.
Devyn ended up sitting across Lucky’s lap, with Angel pressed against her legs resting on the couch cushions. She lay her head on Lucky’s chest and held on to him as tightly as she could. His arms around her felt amazing. Safe.
“I’m sorry, Dev. It must’ve been so hard keeping all this bottled up inside.”
She nodded.
“You can always use me as a sounding board. I might not like everything you say, but that doesn’t mean I won’t listen, or won’t do everything I can to help solve whatever you’re worried over. Okay?”
“Okay,” she said softly.
“It sounds like your brother borrowed money from the wrong people.”
She nodded again.
“Do you think he was bluffing?”
“I don’t know. It’s possible. I think he’d do or say anything to get money to gamble with. It really is an addiction, like drugs. I don’t think he can help himself. He truly believes he’s just one bet away from hitting it big.”
“What do you want to do?” Lucky asked.
Devyn appreciated him asking more than he could know.
He didn’t try to take over, tell her what she needed to do, or tell her that Spencer was a lost cause and she should write him off.
She was upset with her brother and couldn’t believe he’d gotten himself into the situation he had, but she was still worried for him.
“Honestly? I want to give him fifty thousand dollars then force him to go to rehab. But one, I don’t have that kind of money, and two, like you said earlier, if he doesn’t want to get help, it won’t do any good. ”
“What do you need from me?” Lucky asked.
“This,” Devyn said immediately. “Holding me when I’m sad. Letting me borrow your amazing pets to make me feel better. And supporting me without being judgmental or trying to take over.”
“I have to admit, I’m not doing very well in the judgmental category,” Lucky said into her hair. “But I’m trying. Like you said, I don’t have any siblings, so it’s hard for me to be as easygoing about this.”
Devyn looked up at Lucky. “You really aren’t going to tell Fred?”
He sighed. “No. Not at this point. I don’t like how much money we’re talking about here.
If Spencer wasn’t lying, fifty G’s is a lot of cash and a loan shark may very well resort to violence to get it from him.
But as I promised you, unless your life is in danger, or you’re sick, what we talk about stays between the two of us. ”
“I’m sorry,” Devyn blurted.
Lucky frowned. “About what?”
“About you having to keep this from Fred. I know you guys are super close and your first instinct is to talk to him about it, but…I don’t want to hurt my family.”
Lucky kissed her forehead. “Your compassion is one of many things I love about you. Your compassion for animals, for your friends, and your family.”
Devyn’s heart stopped beating in her chest for a moment. Had he said what she thought he’d said? She was too chicken to ask him to say it again, so she just burrowed her head back into his chest and held on tight.
Could he really love her? They hadn’t even been dating very long. But it wasn’t as if they’d just met. She knew a lot about the man whose lap she was sitting on, simply from hanging out with Fred and his friends for so many months.
They were friends long before they’d started dating, which was why she knew without a doubt that she’d have a hard time finding someone more amazing than Lucky. He was one of the biggest reasons why she hadn’t left town to start over somewhere new.
Devyn loved this man. She did. And she couldn’t imagine not seeing or talking to him every day. She’d already been planning on making love with him, but now with him all but admitting he loved her back? She couldn’t wait for this evening.
After a few minutes, he asked, “You okay?”
Devyn nodded.
“If he calls again, you’ll let me know?”
“Yeah. But I’m not planning on taking his call if he does try to get in touch with me.
Spencer is an adult, and I can’t bail him out this time.
It’ll kill me if he gets hurt…but maybe this is the push he needs to straighten his life out.
I feel horrible saying that, and I’ll drown in guilt if something actually happens to him, but I’m done. ”
“I’m proud of you,” Lucky said. “How about we take Angel and Whiskers for a walk? Or at least attempt to. I’m not sure how it’ll go. Then you need to shower and get ready for work. I can make lunch before we have to go.”
“How’d I get so lucky?” Devyn asked.
Lucky grinned. “Did you mean that as a pun?” he asked.
Devyn laughed. “Actually, no, but if the shoe fits.”
“You got me because you’re cute, and compassionate, and because I blatantly used Angel and Whiskers to lure you into my lair,” he said.
“You think a guy hasn’t tried to use a pet to pick me up before?” Devyn asked.
Lucky scowled. “They have?”
“Down, boy,” Devyn said, patting Lucky’s chest. “And of course they have. They bring cute little puppies into the clinic and then proceed to flirt their asses off as I’m doing the pre-exam on their pets. The looks of devastation when they strike out are so amusing.”
“You’re a hard woman,” Lucky teased.
“Eh. It’s not hard to figure out the owners who are genuinely in love with their animals, and those who are using them to try to get laid.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask where I fit in that crowd.”
Devyn smirked, feeling so much lighter now that she’d told Lucky everything.
It was amazing how talking about your feelings and shame somehow made that burden lessen.
“You love Angel and Whiskers, that’s easy to see, but I have to admit…
you’re totally gonna get laid as well.” Then before he could respond, she scooted off his lap and stood.
“Let me get some real clothes on, then I’ll go get their harnesses. ”
“Shit, woman, that was cruel,” Lucky said.
But he was smiling as he said it, so Devyn wasn’t too worried. “Cruel would be using you for your adorable animals, but since we’re both gonna get what we want, I think we’re both gonna come out on top in the end.”
“Oh, we’re both gonna come, all right,” Lucky muttered as he stood.
Devyn couldn’t keep the smile off her face as she headed for the bedroom to put on something other than her pajamas.