Chapter 23 #3
I pursed my lips, wishing I understood his response, but I’d already pushed him today. I needed to lay off. I swallowed my unease and accepted my new temporary fate.
My entire existence here depended on how a man felt when he woke up. I couldn’t fucking believe it. If I weren’t so busy, I’d be angry.
My second work-study kicked in, taking away what little time I had with Cayden in the evenings.
Instead of messing with my magic, I oiled leather saddles and other bits of horse tack until ten at night.
Only to sleep for a few hours and go back to the train at five.
Ezra’s version of ‘experiencing everything’ was more tag-alongs.
In his defense, observing other people working did help me understand some basics.
But watching three dudes use a combination of magic and good old-fashioned sewing to make enforcer uniforms taught me nothing.
After each ‘tag-along,’ one of Ezra’s five questioned me on what I saw, as if the task of observation was beyond me.
It was maddening.
My only two breaks were breakfast and dinner. I spent breakfast washing dishes to peek at my TB. Fortunately, nothing impeded dinner. I hated how much I relied on my friend's charity, but Everly always had a second portion of whatever she ordered waiting. I existed for that single hour.
Three days ticked by with four to go. I ached, body and soul. This wasn’t sustainable.
On the fourth morning, I dragged myself into my train work-study ten minutes late, too tired to care. Rowan was waiting at the bottom of the stairs, dressed in simple brown trousers and a gray hoodie, his presence cutting through my exhaustion like a jolt of cold air.
He held up a massive breakfast sandwich for us to split. “Andy’s covering for you. Do you have a minute?”
I almost cried with relief. Rowan guided me toward a little picnic he’d set up, complete with a little sculpture, glowing with his white magic, on a thick gray blanket to give us more light.
He helped me sit and shoved the massive breakfast sandwich into my hands.
The aroma of coffee cut through the harsh smell of oil and train permeating the tunnel.
He poured two cups out of a large mug, and homesickness hit me hard.
Until this new schedule, I’d honestly been so excited about magic that it outweighed everything. But lack of sleep and grueling work took all the magic out of existence, literally. Horses were dirty, and leather tack was way more fun to watch gleaming in movies than oil myself.
I missed my local coffee shop and my dad’s French press. I missed movie night and mindless social media scrolling. Most of all, I missed my dad, who always had a minute to talk to me. No matter how stupid the question or how long-winded my story.
“It’s on Angela,” Rowan said while I held my coffee and desperately tried to pull myself together. “Speaking of.” He took a bite of his half. “I need to vent.”
I finally took a sip. It was basic, but still coffee, and I loved it. “You and me both.”
Rowan’s gaze lit up. “You go first.”
I let another sip of coffee slide down my throat. Rowan wouldn’t understand my homesickness, but the cause of it was vent-able.
“This schedule is killing me,” I said dramatically. “I’m the only one this overloaded as far as I can tell. Why do I need to shadow someone fixing the plumbing? Or sit in Hope’s office and read over old housing disputes, while Brody stares at me?”
Rowan scowled. “Brody’s the kid that was bothering you the other day, right?”
“He was the first person I met after you.” I rubbed my arms. “The minute he figured out I was a girl, he got really pushy.” I took a breath to say more and jerked back.
Rowan wasn’t dressed as an enforcer right now, but he still was one. He’d been part of the group that carried out the ‘stress test’ at my placement. I shouldn’t be this comfortable talking to him.
“Sorry, you wanted to talk about Angela, right?” I picked up my half of breakfast and took a bite.
“Quinn,” Rowan held my gaze. “We don’t know each other well, but if someone’s bothering you, you know you can trust me, right?”
I chewed and swallowed, all the while locked in a staring contest with the giant of a man.
Even seated, he towered over me. His gray sweater and sweatpants didn’t hide his bulk; if anything, they accentuated it.
His square jawline was sharp enough to cut glass.
Tousled white hair framed his face as if he’d just walked through a storm and come out looking the better for it.
I took a deep breath and looked away from everything that was him, only for my gaze to land on his little breakfast picnic. He brought all of this down here for me. And now, instead of talking about whatever he needed to, he was listening to me like my dad used to.
Rowan was under contract. He was safe, except I didn’t know that for sure. He worked for the Architect. Ezra forced our friendship by making Rowan teach me.
Never in my life had I so badly wanted to trust someone.
Never in my life had I had so many reasons not to.
I took another bite of my breakfast sandwich and let his question die.
Rowan started to speak and stopped before picking up his coffee. “Angela has seven suitors now.” He took a sip. “I’m number six.” A slight blush rose to Rowan’s cheeks. “Um, I need to give you some background. And please, don’t talk to anyone about this.”
I put my hands in the air. “I hate her. I only met her once, but I meant what I said. Capital B bitch. You’re safe with me.”
Rowan grinned, and the past minute vanished as if it had never happened.
“So, this is what it’s like.” Rowan pointed at his throat.
“She had leather necklaces made.” He made little quotation marks as he said the word necklaces.
“And had all of us wear them to seven balls to celebrate. I had just become one of Ezra’s Generals and missed four of the balls, so she cut me out of all activities for four months.
I’ve not bonded with her other suitors, which I guess doesn’t always happen, but it was something I was looking forward to.
Especially because Jax is a Windsor. Do you know your London families? ”
I blinked at him. “Do I know my Edinburgh families?”
Rowan grunted. “I don’t know how you exist.”
“Welp, I don’t pick my girlfriends based on their connections to start with.” I poked Rowan in the stomach, only to stub my fingers on his crazy hard abs. Yummy. “But honestly, Mr. Tate, I don’t have a family name to support, so existing is simple. I do stuff and hope for the best.”
Rowan laughed before sobering. “Just do stuff and hope for the best. And how has that worked out for you?”
So many emotions crashed into me, I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to cry, laugh, and scream all at once. I still didn’t know what ‘this’ was. I could be drooling in an asylum with my mind trapped in a vivid dream.
“Quinn, what was that?” Rowan asked.
I cocked my head to the side. “What was what?”
Rowan opened his mouth and closed it before pointing at my mostly eaten sandwich. “You better finish that before I have to work your shift for you.”
“You’re a lifesaver!” I popped up and pretended to leave.
Rowan growled. He wrapped his hand around my waist and pulled me onto his lap.
We both froze as if waiting for the other to leap away.
Instead, I let my weight sink into him, and he let his hand rest on my hip.
“Your favorite spot.” Rowan’s voice dropped. “Now finish your breakfast.”
With coffee in one hand and my sandwich in the other, I listened to Rowan complain about his very controlling, petty suitress, while trying to understand why he put up with it.
“Power, money, and control,” Rowan said as I finished up and moved off his lap. “It’s that simple.”
“Being happy or in love doesn’t enter the equation?” I asked.
Rowan’s face fell. “I mean, I want to be happy. But those three come first.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Well, power to you then, literally, I guess.”
“We’re going to fall behind,” Adam called from the train. “I can’t go without you for too much longer.”
I stood.
“I’ll clean this up.” Rowan scratched the back of his head, flexing one of his beefy arms. “Um, can we do this again?”
My heart fluttered. “You can give me a break from train duty any time.”
Rowan grinned. “I’ll see you for combat later today.”
Adam pulled the cord on the train horn. The loud blast bounced off the rigid cave walls, making me jump. I gave Rowan an awkward wave and trotted off.
After two more days of this grueling schedule, I was done. My body was exhausted. I’d made zero headway on how to use my magic. I’d gone from accepting my situation to waking up in cold sweats as fear crept into my every thought.
My entire existence depended on someone else.
A man who had everything I didn’t. Magic.
Resources. An army of enforcers and connections in a world I was starting to grasp.
Instead of doing anything to help myself, I watched people do their jobs.
I read about a history I was pretty sure I’d somehow skipped, while drifting further and further from my friends.
Not only did I not have time for them, but I didn’t have my TB to keep in touch.
Someone, probably Ezra, gave me this schedule to keep me complacent, and it was working. If all of this was real, I had to start looking out for myself.
The next morning, I attempted to sleep through my train work-study. Pounding at my door woke me after five, but Erick was up and on it.
“I told you to keep the fuck away from my dorm,” Erick said.
“Quinn’s late for her work-study.” Brody practically whined. “She needs her work-study.”
“She doesn’t need shit. If you knock on this door again, I will gut you,” Erick promised.
The door slamming shook the walls.