Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
DEMITRI
Mia doesn’t think before cupping my face with her fingers. Long and strong, callused from the hard work she puts in every day. Her thumbs rub my cheeks, almost like she’s making sure I’m real. When her lips touch mine, I know I’ll never be the same. Kissing has always been a no-go. It was too intimate. She told me it was her Pretty Woman rule, and I didn’t know what the fuck she was talking about until I found the movie.
Her lips are soft, plump, and firm under my own. I know I have to let her lead this kiss, and it takes all of my willpower not to take over, to demand more. When her tongue darts out and tastes my lips, my heart stutters, and I’m a little worried about the situation in my pants. I don’t know how long she’s going to allow me to feel her body against mine and her lips doing wicked things, but I’ll take every gloriously agonizing second she allows.
“I want you,” she finally whispers against my lips. “I want…”
“Tell me,” I demand when her voice fades.
Her lips are still on mine, our breath mingling together. “I want you to touch me, but I’m afraid.”
“What are you afraid of?”
“I’m afraid you’ll walk away if I…can’t.”
“Mia, look at me,” I say, pulling back enough that she can. When our eyes lock, I continue. “I’m not going anywhere. There is nothing you can do to make me walk away from you. You run this show. You know how much you can handle, and when it becomes too much, we adjust and figure it out together, okay?”
“Are you sure?”
“Abso-fuckin-lutley, Krasotka . You tell me what to do, and you tell me when to stop.”
“Kiss me again?”
This time I do what I’ve wanted to for four years. I adjust her so she’s straddling my thighs, put her palms on my chest, and cup her face gently. I pull her lips to me, applying pressure, silently begging for her to open up to me. When she does, our tongues intertwine, a seductive dance as old as time, but we are still learning each other. This is our real first. It’s sloppy, hungry, and the best fucking kiss I’ve ever had.
She pulls back, panting, her eyes hooded with a fire in them that could warm me for the rest of my days.
“Help me stand up?” she asks, pushing against my chest.
I do as she asks and I’m rewarded with Mia’s shirt flying through the air behind her. Her bra quickly follows, then her jeans and panties. I have no idea when she took off her shoes, but thank God for small miracles. I roam her body from head to toes, taking in every inch of her. She’s beautiful, even if she disagrees when I tell her. She has scars, and while I want to know, she never has to tell me if she doesn’t want to or can’t. My imagination is quite enough where that is concerned.
“Dem, you have on too many clothes.” She smiles at me.
Not wanting to give her any time to question why she wants this today, I quickly pull off my shirt and fling it in the direction hers went. I undo my jeans and pull them down to my ankles. “If you want the pants all the way off, we have a work boot situation to take care of first.”
She laughs, and the sound is so carefree, she’s like a completely different person. “I think we can work with this. Keeps you restrained a little, right?”
“Mia.” I wait for her to look at me. “If you need to do what we usually do, if you really want to have sex, this is all your call.”
She’s shaking her head before I even finished the words. “I want to know if I can. No, I need to know that I can. I want to give in. I want to feel you while you feel me.”
“I’m here for you. Whatever you need.”
She stands in front of me in all her naked glory, assessing. There’s still heat in her eyes, but now they contain a calculated look, like she’s figuring out mental gymnastics. She finally meets my eyes and nods her head. She steps closer, her knees bumping mine, so close I can smell her arousal.
“I want you to touch me.”
“Where?” I sound like a man starved.
“Here.” She points to the apex of her thighs. She closes her eyes and swallows before opening them back up and looking at me. “I want you to touch my pussy, Demitri.”
My hand lifts from my thighs without thought, seeking out the promise of feeling what heaven must be like. I maintain eye contact with Mia, gauging every expression and breath. My fingers brush along her mound, and her whole body shivers.
“Still with me?” I ask, making sure she meets my eyes again. When she nods, I lift one finger, showing her what I’m going to use. She follows the finger until it disappears between her thighs, and for the first time since this began four agonizingly long years ago, I touch perfection. Soft, silky skin with neatly trimmed pubic hair, slick lips, already wet from her arousal. Running my finger through her slit, dipping just the tip into her body, I pull it out and circle her clit before repeating the motion. Each breach of her opening, she’s wetter, her breathing more erratic, eyes locked on me, trying to remain with me in the moment.
“Demitri,” she breathes, her voice husky. “I can’t, I don’t…”
I pull my finger back and put it in my mouth, tasting her flavor on my tongue.
“Mia, one day, you’re going to let me lick you with my tongue. And I’m going to make sure it feels good for you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Nope.” I shake my head. “That was more than I hoped for. You’re amazing.”
“Your turn.” She gives me a timid smile.
“Whatever you need, Mia. This is about you. Always.”
She crawls over my legs, situating herself on my upper thighs. My hands hang limp at my sides, waiting for her to tell me what she needs.
“Please don’t leave me if I can’t, or if I cry.”
“Your tears are beautiful. Every part of you is, Krasotka . And I want all the parts.”
Her eyes shine at my words, but I mean every one of them.
She sits up on her knees, gripping my cock and lining it up with her opening. This I’m used to. This is the in-control Mia who takes what she can and feeds off my pleasure. As she slides her slick pussy down my shaft until it’s buried in her body to the hilt, I grit my teeth. She always feels so good, but this time is different. This time it’s more .
“Will you touch me?” she whispers.
“Where?”
“Here.” She holds her tits—almost as an offering.
“Can I suck them, Mia? Flick them with my tongue?”
“Yes.”
I slowly raise my head and pull one of her nipples into my mouth, gently laving my tongue over the hardened nub and sucking just enough that she feels it. She gasps but doesn’t stop me. I pop her nipple out and move to the other, giving it the same attention. When I’ve thoroughly had my taste, I pull my head back and look at her. She hasn’t moved, her pussy still gripping my cock.
“More?” I ask.
“No. Not…not right now, anyway. Can you do something else for me?”
“Of course.”
“Will you hold my hips? Help me?”
I place my hands on each side of her body and give a squeeze. “I got you, Mia.”
She starts to move, and I give her the illusion I’m doing something, but really, I’m just enjoying the bliss of being with her again. At some point, I do take over, gripping her hips and grinding her on my cock before helping her bounce up and down.
“This isn’t going to take long,” I warn her.
“Whatever you need.”
I know not to push, I know not to try to force an orgasm on her, not right now. This moment was big enough for both of us, that I have no doubt it could throw her over an edge she’s not ready for. Hell, I don’t know if I could handle her orgasm right now. But one day soon, I have no doubt.
She places her hands on my shoulders, gripping me with the same force I have on her hips, as she starts to move faster, helping me chase my release.
“ Krasotka .” I sigh as the orgasm races down my spine, the force of it so hard I see stars.
When I open my eyes, she’s staring at me, her lips quivering, her eyes filling with tears.
“Come here,” I tell her, rubbing my hands up and down her back. “Let me hold you. You cry with me from now on.”
She falls into my chest, wrapping her arms around my back while I do the same to her. Her sobs break my heart, yet at the same time, I think they might be healing hers.
I don’t know how long we sit there, my dick still half hard inside of her. I know we need to move and get cleaned up, but I don’t have the heart to be logical right now. We will stay right here until she’s ready.
An hour later, we’re both showered, cleaned up, and headed to the bar. I knew she wouldn’t change her mind on that, and I’m firmly in camp ‘pick your battles.’
“Can I ask you something?” I turn my head to look at her before facing the road again.
“Sure. Doesn’t mean I’ll answer but ask away.” She grins.
I don’t know what happened in her living room this afternoon, or if it was the confession in the truck earlier, but something has changed our dynamic. Mia has changed. It’s like something that was weighing her down is no longer there.
“This has been on my mind, but that day I ran into you last year. In the park?”
“You mean where I ran into you?” She laughs. “What about it?”
“You weren’t really there. I have a good idea where your head was at, but why was it such a visceral reaction that day?”
“I just found out that Brett was dead. But I didn’t really believe it,” she confesses. “That day, I didn’t see faces other than his. He was everywhere, haunting me from beyond, I guess.”
“That’s not where my mind went.”
“What did you think?”
“I thought someone had hurt you recently. And I wasn’t there to protect you. I figured it was a combination of memories and something new that triggered it all.”
“I don’t need new triggers to find old ones. I just close my eyes and there they are.”
“You’ve been having nightmares.”
“I always have nightmares. The first night in ten years I didn’t wake up screaming was the night you held me all night.”
“I’m so sorry, Krasotka . I’m sorry this has been what you live with every day. I wish I knew you then, I would have protected you.”
“Silly boy.” She reaches over and pats my leg. “No one could have protected me from myself. Not even you.”
At the stop sign before the bar, I turn to face her. “I would have fought all your demons, Mia. All your dark days.”
“Or I would have destroyed you right along with me. We can’t change the past, and sometimes that means we have nightmares. But I grew stronger because of what happened to me. I grew fierce. Loyal to those I love. I found my passion. Do I have issues? Of course. Don’t we all? But I also know who I am. And what I want.”
“What do you want, Mia?”
“I want to be able to love without fear. To fully give myself to someone without worrying I’ll break again. Without losing myself. To be with you, free from the ties to that past.”
Once I park, I reach over and undo her seatbelt and look at her. “I’m going to pull you across this seat and kiss the fuck out of you, Mia Alexander.”
“Yes, please.”