44. Chapter 44
Lizzie follows me out the front door and off the porch, and stops beside me on the walkway as the back passenger door of the car opens. I can see an Uber logo in the back window.
The door is pushed open further and one skinny-jean-clad leg is awkwardly hoisted out. It obviously belongs to a female, seeing as the small foot at the end of the sleek leg is wearing a flat dress shoe. I see a flash of red hair swing around just inside the opening, as the other leg is hoisted over, joining the other. One small hand grasps the top of the door, while this person drags something out of the car. Even from here, I can see her fingers tighten around the top of the door as she appears to half-push, half-drag herself to a standing position.
And my heart stops.
Her other hand passes one metal crutch with a round forearm cuff over to the other, and she awkwardly settles into it before she pulls another one out and gets it in place.
She takes two shaky steps away from the open door, looking very much like Bambi fresh out of the womb, then Lizzie and I hear a low “Shit!” come from the woman’s mouth as she leans against the back side of the car, the rear passenger door still open.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Lizzie look at me. “Uh, you know her?” she asks, pointing at the young woman.
But I can’t speak. I can’t nod. I can’t even blink.
“Hi!” She yells over to us, cheerily. “I’m kinda new at this,” leaning on her crutches she waves her hands downward toward her legs, “this whole walking on crutches thing. Do you think you could come over here for a sec?”
“Knox?” Lizzie presses from beside me.
I swallow as I take in the light red hair hanging over the woman’s shoulder, blowing in the slight breeze, and the deep blue blouse with little shoulder cap sleeves that also flutter around. And the bright, innocent eyes that look kind.
This young lady is nothing like the one that has been haunting my nightmares.
I take a step and again Lizzie asks, “Knox?” I simply extend my hand back toward her, fingers spread wide, and wait a beat until I feel her hand slip into mine. It fits like a glove. The way it always has. The way I hope it always will. Together we cross the front lawn and approach the woman, stopping just a few feet from her.
“Thanks for meeting me, well, I know the saying is ‘meet me halfway’ but, clearly you came the whole way, so, thanks … for that,” she says, then gives a nervous laugh.
I feel Lizzie give my hand a squeeze, and I give her one in return. It’s the only thing I can do to comfort her right now.
“Um, anyway. Sorry, this is awkward. Uh, my name is Ariel.” She lets that sit for a second as she blushes. “Yeah, I know. Ridiculous, right? My mom had a thing for The Little Mermaid and with the red hair she just couldn’t help herself, apparently. The sea legs, though, that’s just coincidence. But my friends call me Ari.”
When neither Lizzie nor I respond, Ari shakes her head and starts again. “Right, sorry. Anyway …” Dipping her head, she bites on her bottom lip, then her eyes rise to meet mine. “You don’t know me, but—”
“I know you,” I blurt out, and I hear Lizzie gasp beside me, so I squeeze her hand again. “I mean, I know who you are.” I look her up and down. “I thought … Well, I don’t know what I thought, exactly, but I certainly didn’t expect this. Don’t get me wrong,” I rub my free hand over the back of my neck, “you look … well.”
“I’m sorry, but could someone please tag me into the conversation?” Lizzie asks. I open my mouth, but Ari cuts me off.
“Let me, please,” she says, and I simply nod. She looks over at Lizzie. “About a year and a half ago something changed my life …” as Ari trails off, I prepare for the blow. I’ve been readying for this in some way or another ever since that night. I’ve been waiting for the universe to make me atone for my actions. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting to face the life I ruined.
I don’t take my eyes off Ari’s. I owe her this much.
Looking straight into me, she says, with no uncertainty, “It saved me.”
My intake of air is audible.
Ari tucks a piece of hair behind her ear and lets out a breath. “You see, I had been running—literally and metaphorically—for a long time. I had been trying to outrun demons, some my own and some that belong to the real world, but to no avail. And that night, I decided I was done running. I was just … I was done. So, as I ran away for the last time, I decided to just run right toward the first thing that would take me away from it all. And that, Knox, was you.”
I feel Lizzie’s hand shake as Ari uses my name. Or maybe it’s my hand shaking.
Ari continues, “And, while I thought the only thing that would take me away from that life was eternal darkness. You know, ‘the permanent sleep,’ or whatever the hell they say in poems … Well, it wasn’t. Long story short, I was reborn.”
I feel a hand on my cheek and bristle, then turn my gaze away from Ari for the first time since she arrived, and face Lizzie as she brushes tears off my face.
Ari clears her throat, and we both look back at her. “Anyway, I got your name from the police report, and I’ve wanted to reach out ever since I started my recovery but, well, I was kinda scared. And then I finally stopped at the address they had on file, and no one answered so I had to do some Googling.” Ari makes wide eyes and starts stammering, reminding me a lot of Lizzie. “Not that I was, like, stalking you! I swear. I just … Damn, this is not how I rehearsed it.” She blows out another breath, shifts on her crutches, then squares her shoulders and looks between me and Lizzie.
“I’m sorry. I wanted to say I’m so, so sorry for jumping in front of your truck. I can only imagine what that did to you, and not knowing that you actually did me a huge favor. I mean,” she gestures toward her legs again, “this is kinda a pain in the ass, but the doctors say I’m coming around. Should be walking on my own in no time.”
We all just stare at each other for a moment. Three sets of eyes bouncing back and forth. The air thick yet light, the sunset darkening the sky yet lighting it up. It’s like I can’t breathe, and as if I’m taking my first breath in so many months.
I feel Lizzie’s hand slip from mine and before I know it, she’s wrapping Ari up in a hug. Ari giggles and pats Lizzie’s back in return. After longer than is probably appropriate for strangers to hug, Lizzie steps back and wipes her face, saying nothing.
Finally finding my voice, I take a step closer to Ari.
Are you in pain? How can I help you? What can I do?All these thoughts run through my mind, but none of them pass through my trembling lips. Instead, I take a shaky breath and ask, “Are you still running?”
Contemplation dances across Ari’s face as she slowly shakes her head from side to side, and a breeze drags a strand of red across her face and neck. “No,” she says.
I swallow hard as more tears fall. “Thank you,” I croak out. “Thank you for finding me. Us.” I turn to Lizzie and smile, then turn back to Ari. “You have no idea what this means to us.”
Ari smiles, and then we hear a throat clear and a “Miss!” comes from inside the car. Ari ducks and looks through the open door at the driver, who is turned around in his seat. “Sorry to interrupt, but you said you needed to be downtown by seven, and if we don’t leave soon you’re going to be late.”
“Shoot!” Ari lets out, with a wave of her hands. “Thanks!” she says to the driver, then turns toward us again. “I have to go. I have a date. Gah!” She wrings her hands in front of her. “This is my first date since the accident, and I’m a little nervous. No, fuck that, I’m a lot nervous. I’m gonna have freaking diarrhea from the way my stomach is flip-flopping.”
Lizzie and I laugh as Ari pulls her phone out from her back pocket and starts swiping it. “I met this guy online and I just, I dunno. I mean he seems OK, but what if he’s a serial killer or something? Or what if he’s really fat and using someone else’s picture. I can’t exactly make a run for it.”
I can’t believe this woman is making a joke at her own expense.
“Girl, I got you!” I hear Lizzie pipe up from beside me, pulling her own phone out. “Let me see a pic.” She steps up to Ari and looks over at her phone, taking a photo of whatever she’s seeing.
“Oh, he’s cute!” Lizzie says.
“Right?!”
“What’s your number?” Lizzie asks, and without hesitation Ari rattles off ten digits.
“OK,” Lizzie says, and I hear a ding. “That’s me. My name is Lizzie, by the way. I’m gonna text you at seven-fifteen. If he’s not a creeper, and he doesn’t take you to a rape house, and you don’t need an out, just tell him you’re so sorry you forgot to silence your phone, shoot me any kind of text—even just one letter—and I’ll know you’re good. If you need rescuing, hit the call button and act like you are actually answering a call, and we’ll make up a reason why you have to bounce.”
“Oooo good plan,” Ari says, nodding. “But I hate to infringe on your evening.”
“Nonsense.” Lizzie bats away the suggestion. “Seven-fifteen sharp. If I don’t hear from you, I call the police and send them this pic. Got it?”
“Got it.”
We all stare at each other for a moment before Ari says, “Well, here I go,” and then takes two shaky steps back toward the open door. She grabs the top of the open door with her right hand and leans her body against the side of the car. With her left hand she hoists one, then the other crutch into the back seat of the car. Then lowers her body into the seat—slowly at first, then she drops the rest of the way into it.
Using her hands, she picks up her left leg and hefts it into the car, then does the same with her right. She reaches out to grab the door handle, then looks up at us. “It was really lovely meeting you two,” she says. “I’m really glad I found you.”
“Ari,” I say, and she holds my stare. “You have no idea how lost I was.”
A brief pause later, I feel Lizzie’s hand on my back and hear her say, “Seven-fifteen sharp!” Ari giggles and pulls the door shut. She gives a wave through the window as the driver pulls away.
Standing there on the front lawn, underneath the setting sun, with Lizzie’s hand on my back, I watch the car disappear down the road. Turning beneath her palm until I face Lizzie, I drag my hands down my face then wipe my nose on the back of my hand like a barbarian.
My mind is a wreck. So is my heart. There are so many thoughts and feelings going through both of them that I can’t get a handle on any of them. I start to suck in gasps of air, my body shaking.
Lizzie steps up closer to me and wraps her arms around me. She squeezes me tightly, and then starts to sway. “It’s OK,” she soothes. “Let’s just dance.”
We sway for a moment until my brain finally settles on one thought. “What were you going to ask me?”
Lizzie stills. “Huh?”
“Inside,” I continue. “Before the car pulled up. You were about to ask me something.” Why this is the one thing I can grasp is beyond me. But for some reason, everything in me is pulled back to the conversation I was having with Lizzie only moments ago. A few moments before my whole world turned on its axis.
Lizzie pulls back, swallows, then looks down the empty road and back to me, her hands now in mine, and she grins. “I was going to ask if you believe in second chances.”
I feel my lower lip tremble, and all I can do is shake my head. “I- I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “Do you?”
Lizzie looks over at the house, then back at me, and she nods. “Fuck yeah,” she says. “After what just happened, I think I believe in second, and third and fourth chances.”
We both laugh, and Lizzie throws a hand up to her mouth, like she can’t believe the sound just escaped her. I tilt my head as I gaze at her.
“Knox,” she says, and I take the one step to close the distance between us, and cup her face in my hands.
“Yeah, baby,” I answer.
“I’m ready to come home,” she says, gripping my wrists.
I smile and take in a breath with a shudder. “Good. Because Kennedy and I have been waiting for you.”