3. A Job Application Like Never Before
3
A JOB APPLICATION LIKE NEVER BEFORE
Hubrie burst into Duke’s office with an urgency he rarely displayed. “Hell Master. You need to see this.”
Duke pushed aside his headache and looked up, his body tensing for action. “What is it?”
With a flourish, the butler set a small stack of paper on his desk. “An application to be your personal assistant.”
On the very first page was a photo of a raccoon.
Duke stared. “What?”
Hubrie nodded solemnly. “Indeed.”
“This is a joke. Why are you giving this to me?”
“ Read it. ”
With a mouthful of doubt, Duke slid aside the first page.
Name: Nat the Raccoon
Job title: Personal ASSistant
AKA Dumpster Diver, but I can dive ANYWHERE you want.
Location: Cartfalls, California
Languages: English he was trying so hard not to laugh.
Work experience
’Coon Dad: 10 months and counting
I have a 10-month-old.
Animal experience: I am an animal, and so are my friends.
Here, the raccoon had inserted a picture of himself surrounded by a wolf, a patchy-skinned mink, a rabbit, and a gazelle.
Under the Computer Experience section, there was a photo of the raccoon sitting in front of a laptop, a spreadsheet open on the screen.
There was a picture of the raccoon clutching a phone, too, with the caption, I can make calls.
Duke snorted at the last picture in the application, which was the raccoon lying flat on his back, surrounded by his laptop, phone, and a tiny human hand grasping his paw, although the rest of the baby was out of the picture.
He set down the stack of papers, sliding it back to Hubrie.
“Well?” Hubrie raised his eyebrows.
“Call him in for an interview,” Duke said.
To his credit, Hubrie waited until he was almost out of sight to do a fist pump.