10. Ivy – Lord Have Mercy on My Soul
TEN
IVY – LORD HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL
Ivy
My life is crumbling around me. I didn’t get much sleep last night. I peer over at Sammy, who’s still asleep, her breathing a light purr. I get up, go to the living room, and look out the window. The MC truck is still there. My chest warms. He’s been there all night, protecting us.
I go to the kitchen and make him some toast with butter and honey and a coffee. I carry the plate and cup through the entryway and walk onto the driveway. He opens the door wide; I pass him his breakfast. His mohawk’s a little messier than normal, his eyes darker underneath. I frown. I should’ve invited him to sleep in the spare room.
“Thanks,” he says and takes a large bite of his toast. There’s a twitch in his jaw. “Two men drove by your house slowly last night.”
I blink a few times, my heart picking up speed, not wanting to comprehend his words. “There are more of them after me?” I whisper. Is this never going to end?
He briefly nods. “It was low-ranking members that came after you the first time. I’d say the men from last night are looking for them. Twitch at the MC ran their plates. They’re from a loan sharking group running out of Las Vegas. I’d say your ex borrowed money for gambling, and people like that have strict terms of collection.”
I rub my chest. Loan sharks . I sniffle, trying not to cry. I’ve got to be strong for Sammy. “I just still can’t believe he’d risk our safety to get himself out of trouble.” He should know from last time that he cleaned out most of my savings. He got a black eye and my stupid empathy made me feel bad for him, so I bailed him out. Not this time... not ever again. “What’s going to happen to me and Sammy?” My voice is brittle.
With a serious expression, he says, “I’ll keep you two safe.”
I bite my lip, blinking away those damn tears. “What do we do now?”
He finishes swallowing his toast while gazing out of the window, then looks back at me. “You two can stay at the clubhouse. It’s safe there.”
“I don’t want to impose or be a bother.” They’ve already helped out.
“You’re not, but ultimately it’s your choice.” He takes a sip of his coffee. “I’ll stay here and protect you. So, whatever your choice is, you’ll be safe.”
“Sitting and sleeping in your truck day and night?” I ask with raised brows.
He shrugs. “I’ve experienced worse.”
He’d do it too. It’s no longer safe here with dangerous men knowing where I live. I’d never forgive myself if anything happened to Sammy. Being under protection from him and the whole club seems the best decision here. “Can I think about it?”
He nods sharply. “Sure.”
I go inside, sit on the couch, and mindlessly watch the morning show. The most important thing is that Sammy is safe. Everything that I’ve heard and seen about the people at the clubhouse shows they are kind, but I’d be silly not to consider my options. Taking my daughter into a clubhouse seems insane, but I have no family here. I have no one to rely on, and I don’t think I’d want to bring them into this even if I did. The men can protect themselves and me and Sammy. I sigh. I feel crappy bringing trouble into their clubhouse. That also means no childcare. Sammy was enjoying herself, but Sandra’s house is too close to my home. I can’t risk it either.
I head to the bathroom and put on makeup before Sammy wakes up. My mind races with thoughts. I have to consider my feelings for Jett. Being close to him every day. I’d like to get to know him more, even if this isn’t the best circumstances, but I’m worried I’ll spook him. He’s been so selfless and has asked for nothing in return. He hasn’t tried to come onto me or anything. His intentions seem pure.
I have this intense curiosity to try to understand him. As a nurse, maybe I gravitate toward people who are in pain and had trauma and I want to help them. He camouflages his demons with a smile, but I see through it. He seems like he’s curated a version of himself for everyone to ensure no one gets too close. I’m curious about the person behind the mask.
Sammy walks out, rubbing her eyes. “Mom, can I have pancakes again?” she asks, her voice sleepy.
I give her a small smile. “Sorry, sweetie. We’re all out.”
She frowns, and the mom guilt is real! I sit up straight and pat my lap. She walks over and plops down. I hug her tightly. “We’re going on a little trip.”
She turns quickly. “Where are we going?” she asks in a bubbly tone.
“You know the man who was here last night... who got us groceries?”
Her head tilts. “The one with all the pretty drawings on him?”
I smother a smile and nod. “Well, he’s got a big house and asked if we would like to spend a little time there.” How much time... I just don’t know.
She beams. “What do they have there?”
My mouth presses together. No clue. “We’ll make it fun, I promise.”
“Yay!” she squeals.
I gaze into her eyes, proud knowing that I raised such a strong, resilient little person. “I’ll get you some breakfast first. What would you like?”
“Hmm...” Her hand goes to her chin. “Cereal—Cocoa Krispies.”
I get her breakfast, and while she’s eating, I pack our suitcases. My stomach churns. I still can’t believe I’m in this position.
After getting ready, we walk outside. Our suitcases roll along the driveway as we head toward the truck. Sammy has her suitcase in one hand, her unicorn toy in the other. Jett jumps out and takes mine from me and effortlessly puts it in the truck bed. I can’t keep my eyes off his biceps as they bulge with the movement.
He crouches down to Sammy’s level. “Can I take your suitcase too?”
She pauses, studying him. “You can’t put a mark on my bag,” she warns. She’s dead serious too. I try not to laugh but fail miserably.
He puts a cross over his heart. “I’ll keep it safe.”
She watches him for a little while longer, then bops her head at him as if giving him permission.
I press the fob on my keys, and my car beeps. “I’m just getting Sammy’s booster seat.”
“I’ll grab it,” he insists.
Once he places it in the truck, Sammy and I go to the passenger side. I help Sammy up, and she scoots over to the middle. I sit beside her, and we put our seatbelts on. Jett jumps in and then we’re driving. Sammy’s just staring up at him. I gently elbow her. “It’s rude to stare,” I mutter softly.
She throws me a sassy glance, but then she lifts up the sleeve of Jett’s shirt.
Oh gosh! “Sammy!” He hates being touched.
Jett glances at me. “She’s fine.”
I don’t miss the warmth in his voice. He likes kids. Sammy touches his tattoo, mesmerized. He doesn’t flinch.
“She’s so pretty.” Sammy looks at me. “Mommy, look how pretty she is.” The portrait... it’s unreal... so lifelike.
“The tattoo is of my sister,” he replies.
Sammy touches the outline of Madeline’s face that’s etched onto his skin. She whips around to me. “I want a tattoo for Christmas.”
Not happening. “You have to be over eighteen to get one.”
She pouts at me. “But I’m grown up for my age.”
She thinks she is.
“So... who’ll be living at your house while we stay there?” I ask Jett to avoid the whole tattoo conversation debacle. I should have asked this earlier, but my mind is a mess right now.
“The men in the motorcycle club and their partners.”
My shoulders fall an inch. That doesn’t sound too bad. “Are there parties there?”
“Parties?” Sammy beams from beside me.
Oh dear... not the type of party she’s thinking of .
Jett looks at me from the corner of his eye before looking back at the road. “Only for special occasions.”
“Will there be any other people at the clubhouse?” I hate drilling him, but I need to know.
“Three other women live there too.”
I raise a brow. “Why?” I ask a little harsher than I intended. Will I be going to a clubhouse to see Jett with someone else? I mentally curse myself out. It’s not like he’s shown any interest in me.
“They hang around... clean up the clubhouse... help out when needed. They”—he looks at Sammy and pauses—“spend time with some of the single men.”
“With you?” I ask. Jesus, the word vomit just keeps coming out.
His lip twitches. “No.”
Relief lightens my chest. Good!
We reach the dirt road, and I watch out the window until we pull up outside the clubhouse.
“Wow!” Sammy says next to me. Her eyes are bulging as she stares at the clubhouse.
A loud, deep barking startles me.
“Oh, they have a puppy,” Sammy says in a high-pitched voice.
I slowly open the door. “Umm... that is not a puppy.” It’s a rottweiler. It has a massive head. The dog stops barking once it lays eyes on me. It’s tail wags, and its tongue is hanging out of his mouth.
Jett is at the front of the truck, waiting for us to get out. “He’s friendly,” he says, like he read my mind.
“Mom, are you going to get out?” Sammy asks impatiently.
I hesitate, then peer back at Jett. “Is the dog good with children?”
“He’s been fine with the baby.”
Baby? They have kids. That’s great.
“Conan,” he says sternly, and points away from us. “Away... now.”
I breathe a little easier once the dog’s gone. I jump down, then help Sammy down. “Sammy!” I yell and rush to her as she runs after the dog. Children have no fear! And now she’s patting the dog. “You have to listen to me,” I say to her through heavy breaths. My heart’s still beating too fast.
“He’s friendly.” The dog rolls over onto his back, begging for his stomach to be rubbed.
I sigh. “Come on, let’s go inside.” With her hand in mine, we follow Jett into the clubhouse. He has a suitcase in each hand. I start smirking when I look at this man covered in tattoos holding a pink suitcase.
As we move inside, my heart still races. Four men are playing pool. They peer over at me.
The very tall man walks over to Jett, Sammy, and me. “I’m Reaper, the club president.” He has a deep voice and is at least six-four.
I feel very small in comparison. “I’m Ivy.” I peer down. “This is Sammy.”
“Mom,” she says, trying to whisper, but it is anything but. “He’s a giant.”
“Sammy!” I blush.
He chuckles with a warm smile.
“I’m Viper,” the other handsome man says. He’s holding a cue by the tip and raises his chin in greeting.
“Nice to meet you,” I reply.
“I’m Bomber,” the man with the black hair and bushy beard says in a gruff voice. He looks serious. Not as warm as the others.
The last man, with short black hair and a welcoming smile, says, “My name’s Cash.”
Weird names, though I guess Demon is worse. I appreciate them not staring at the bruises on my face.
“Whenever you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask,” adds Reaper.
Ava is by his side. As she studies my face, she wipes tears from the corners of her eyes. “I’ve got your room ready. It has fresh sheets and towels. I know it can be overwhelming here at the clubhouse. I’m always around if you need me.” She looks at Sammy. “I made pancakes just in case you haven’t eaten.”
My lips curve up into a smile. “Thank you.”
“Yes!” Sammy cheers, smiling from ear to ear.
Ava puts her hand out. “How about we go get you a plate?” Ava’s gaze goes to me. “You settle in. She’ll be fine with me.”
Sammy puts her hand in Ava’s and skips beside her, very happy with her second breakfast, and doesn’t even give me a backwards glance.
I look around. There are two men and two women in the living room, one being Twitch. I think the other is the young man who stayed in the van overnight to make sure Sammy was safe. The women are sitting on their laps.
Jett starts walking up the stairs as Elena walks down with a man beside her. His smile grows when he sees me. Elena whacks him and whispers something to him. He shrugs her off and walks over to me.
“Finally,” he says in dramatic fashion, “I get to meet the woman that’s caught Demon’s attention.”
Elena’s head falls back. “I’m so sorry. He has no filter.”
He gives her an odd look then brings his attention back to me. “I’m Axle.”
“I’m Ivy.” I point up the stairs. “Sorry to be rude, I just want to go upstairs to unpack our bags.”
Elena smiles. Axle frowns and says, “We must talk soon.”
I nod and go upstairs. All friendly people at this clubhouse. I go down the hallway to Jett’s bedroom and poke my head inside. He isn’t in there. “Jett?” I call out.
“In here,” he responds. He’s in another bedroom across the hall. “This is a spare room for guests.” The room is bare, with a king-sized bed with a light-blue comforter and a side table. He looks at the bedroom door. “There’s a lock on the door.” Then he points to the cupboard. “You can pack your clothes in there. If you need anything, just let me know or ask Ava.”
“What happened to Ava? She seemed quite emotional downstairs.”
He pauses before he speaks. “She had an abusive ex-husband. You’re going through a similar experience. It probably triggered her.”
My heart sinks, and a heaviness settles over my body. I glance at Jett and back to his room. Even though the bedrooms are close, they seem far away. I frown. “Do you leave your door unlocked?” I feel uncomfortable not being able to talk or be with him when I need to. I know it’s irrational, but I trust him and need him to be accessible.
His head tilts slightly. “I can...” He pauses. “I’ve got a 9mm in the second drawer of my bedside table, if you need it for any reason.”
“Thanks,” I mutter. I hate guns. I’ve seen firsthand in the hospital the horror they can inflict.
“I’ll be downstairs if you need me,” he says, then walks out past me.
My hand itches to touch him, hug him, but all I can say is, “Thank you for everything.”
He stops, nods, then keeps on walking.
After I’ve finished unpacking, I step out of the bedroom, into the hallway. A beautiful blond-haired woman is walking by. She stops when she sees me. She smiles and pulls me into her. “Welcome,” she says, beaming, startling me, then pulls back. “My name’s Sophie. I’m Viper’s ol’ lady.”
“I’m Ivy,” I say for what feels like the hundredth time.
“Oh, I’ve heard all about you .” She winks. Her eyes wander over my face as she inspects it. “I’m sorry to hear about the position your ex has put you in. What a piece of shit!”
I force a smile. “Yes, he is.”
“Milly said you work at the hospital... Don’t stress about your job. My father is their biggest donor, and I’ll mention it to him to make sure your job is available when you’re fit to return to work.”
I pat my chest and blink rapidly, trying not to cry. “Thank you,” I stutter out, grateful that it’s one thing I don’t have to worry about.
“Aww...” she says, then touches my arm. “It’s no problem. I’m glad I can help. A friend of Demon is a friend of mine.” She chuckles. “Not that he has any other friends outside of the MC apart from you.”
Good or bad thing... I’m not quite sure, but it’s obvious he’s not a people person.
She eyes me up and down, but not in a bitchy way. “You’re beautiful...” She looks puzzled. “Out of curiosity, why do you trust Demon? I get the appeal. I’m just surprised you, as a nurse, trusts him... and I wonder why he cares enough about you to protect you.”
My eyes widen. She’s very much straight to the point. “Milly has warned me, and Jett has told me himself, that he’s a bad person, but he’s shown me time and time again that he’s no danger to me and that he’s willing to do anything to protect me and Sammy, and”—I look away—“I’m not too sure why Jett cares. Maybe because I was taking care of his sister.”
She snorts. “Is Jett his name?”
I nod.
“There you go. Viper doesn’t tell me much, but I know Demon as the enforcer protects the club at all costs. It looks like he’s willing to do the same for you, but as long as you’re aware he is violent when he needs to be.” She gives me a look of sympathy. “I want to be honest with you before you end up wanting to go further than friends. The violent part of him will never go away. The club is his life, and if I’ve learned anything, you have to be able to accept the MC men and the club for who they are or it will never work.”
I give her a sharp nod. I knew it, but it makes me second guess myself. Why am I pushing to get involved with someone who is more dangerous than my ex? But he’s not to me. Does that make it any better? I shouldn’t want him. I sigh. Lord have mercy on my soul because I do... I do... a lot.
“Come on, let’s go downstairs. Would you like a few cocktails to ease the nerves?”
I hesitate. “Thanks, but I’d better not.”
I follow Sophie downstairs and go in search of Sammy. She’s at the kitchen counter, leaning back on the stool with her hands on her stomach, sitting next to Jett. I smother a laugh. “Full, are you?”
She slowly bops her head. “I think my tummy’s going to burst.”
Ava and Elena chuckle while they’re putting the dishes away.
“Did you say thank you?” I ask.
“Thank you,” Sammy says.
Ava smiles wide. “It’s no problem at all.”
“Where am I sleeping?” asks Sammy.
“Upstairs in a room with me.”
She groans.
I laugh. “Hey. Don’t you like sleeping with me?” That hurt a bit. She’s growing up too fast.
I don’t miss the little roll of her eyes. “I like having the whooole bed to myself.”
I huff. Unbelievable. “Well, too bad. You’re sleeping with me.”
“Is there any type of food you two don’t eat? Just so I can keep in mind what meals to make?” asks Ava.
I raise my hands. “Oh no, don’t worry about us. We’ll eat it, or I’ll just get us some toast or something easy.”
Ava shakes her head. “Please tell me. I know it’s not easy being scared.” She glances at Sammy and lowers her voice. “I can only imagine how much more difficult that is with a child. So, if there’s anything I can do to better your stay, please let me know.”
* * *
The afternoon goes by quickly. I help the ladies with a late lunch, and we spend the time fussing over Sammy, drawing pictures with her, letting her share stories of our time in Crown Village, and I watch her spend time with the dog, called Conan. I must admit it’s sweet watching the relationship she’s building with the dog already. I didn’t consider how much an animal could benefit her.
Ava comes out toward Elena, Sammy, and me with ham in her one hand and a bottle of liquid in the other. Conan is watching her every move, drooling. Ava looks at Sammy. “Would you like to help us wash Conan?”
Sammy nods enthusiastically, then scrunches her nose. “He does stink.”
Elena laughs. “He does, doesn’t he?” Elena walks toward the hose and turns it on.
Conan jumps, then barks at the water.
“Conan,” Ava says. “Sit.”
He sits, very obedient when it comes to food. He has his eyes on the prize. Elena washes his coat with the water. Ava gives him ham. “Good boy,” she says and pats the top of his head.
Elena squeezes out the yellow liquid over Conan’s coat, and I watch, thoroughly amused, as the three of them scrub him. He sits with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, enjoying the attention. I peer over to see Jett sitting on the back table, watching us. He’s never too far away. He’s always got his eye on us.
The day’s been a blur of faces, but tomorrow I plan to formally introduce myself to the other members of the club and the women who live here, considering Sammy and I are the guests living in their home.
After the sun goes down, Sammy has a bath and gets into her pajamas and ends up falling asleep in bed only minutes after she gets in next to me. Hearing footsteps, I look up to see Jett standing in the door frame watching us.
“Dinner’s ready,” he says quietly.
“I might skip it and have an early night with Sammy. It’s been a big day, but tell Ava I said thank you.”
He gives me a chin lift. “Night.”
Asking him to stay with us is on the tip of my tongue. I glance at the floor but feel silly for even considering asking him to drag his mattress into the room. “You promise to keep your bedroom door unlocked?” I curse myself. “I feel safe when you’re close by,” I add. Not that being in the clubhouse has made me feel unsafe for any reason.
A soft expression lightens his face. “I promise.”