3. Library Disaster
Library Disaster
AZROTH
A zroth raced down the stairs, his thin, lithe body barely more than a blur as he moved.
He followed the scent of burning wood and paper to the library, where all his roommates stood in the center of the remains of the room, soot covering their bodies.
Scorched paper fragments fluttered from the ceiling while every bookshelf sat broken.
The books had been blasted to bits or left in smoldering heaps on the floor.
There were even gooey, dripping bits of Ogos on the walls and ceiling.
In the center of the room, Tog snarled at Ogos, who seemed to be studiously ignoring him. Mullmag, Tuk, and Annod gathered off to the side, eyes wide as they waited for yet another explosion.
“By the Dark Lord’s testicles, what do you think you’re doing?” Azroth roared as he slammed the door shut behind him.
“Ogos started it!” Tog cried out, pointing a fat finger at the gelatinous blob on the floor.
Azroth had no doubt Ogos had started it. The demon loved to stir up shit, and Tog was the easiest target. It took nothing at all to send the demon screaming over the edge.
“And have you forgotten that the human student was visiting today?” Azroth hissed.
“Did we not plan for you to be out of the house today so I could lure him into taking the attic for rent? How are we to go through with our scheme to scare a human to death if you are scaring him away before he can move in?”
Tog continued to glare at Ogos, who appeared utterly indifferent to everything. Only Tuk, Annod, and Mullmag looked repentant, and they’d had nothing to do with the chaos.
“Fine. I’m canceling the game. There’s no point in continuing if you can’t control yourselves for five seconds.” Azroth whirled toward the library door and began to march out. Tuk, Annod, and Mullmag cried out apologies, but what was the point? They weren’t the problem.
“All right.” Ogos sighed, as if he were being tortured on the rack. “I’m sorry, Tog, for saying that you have a brain and dick the size of a hummingbird and that you wouldn’t know what to do with either if they were normal sized.”
Azroth bit the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood and rolled his eyes at the ceiling. Part of him wanted to laugh. The other part wanted to strangle both Ogos and Tog for being so impossible.
“Fine,” Tog replied, the single word coated in his pout.
When Azroth was sure he could maintain a straight face, he turned to the gathered demons. “Enough with the bickering. Wait for the human to leave the house. We can’t give the game away in the first minutes.”
“Is he going to stay, Az? Have you found a good one?” Bath’tuk demanded, his hands folded together in front of him.
“The crows have led the perfect one to our domain.” As he spoke, he released his hold on the human form he’d taken and folded his batlike wings around his shoulders with a shake. “He is very poor and alone in the world. You can taste the desperation on him, and it is divine.”
A cheer went up, and all the demons chattered excitedly for a second.
“I don’t believe he has anywhere else to go. That means that if things become uncomfortable here for him, he still won’t be able to leave.”
“Is he one of those God-fearing, demon-hating types?” Ogos inquired.
Azroth shook his head. “No, he appears to be more of the science type who would deny the existence of angels, demons, and magic.”
“Oh, those are nice, too,” Mullmag murmured, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet.
“Yes, and I don’t want to lose this one before we can even start our game. I still need to get the human to sign a contract?—”
“You already got him to sell his soul?” Annod gasped.
Azroth nearly groaned. He pinched the bridge of his nose. “It’s a rental contract. If I don’t at least offer one, the human will be suspicious.”
“Oh.” All the demons seemed to deflate around the room as he glanced up.
“I believe his intent is to move in immediately. After he gets his things here, we will organize the scaring order and?—”
A soft knock on the library door stopped Azroth mid-sentence, and everyone froze for a heartbeat.
“Mr. Jones?” Luke’s voice seeped under the door, full of concern and trembling with reluctance. “Is everything okay? Do you need some help?”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“One moment, please,” he called out.
In the blink of an eye, Azroth shifted into his human form and waved a hand at the room.
Burning books reformed and hopped onto shelves that mended themselves in midair.
All the bits of Ogos that had been blown about the room leaped to his person, and he also shifted into human form.
The smoke cleared from the library, and everything appeared normal again.
Without being told, all the demons became human.
Even Annod, though he remained at the back of the room, half-hidden behind Mullmag and Tuk.
Azroth sucked in a cleansing breath and made sure his benign mask was in place before pulling open both doors.
“So sorry about that,” Azroth greeted with a broad grin.
“No, it’s my fault. You said to wait, but I got worried. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“No, no. Everything is fine in here. I was just chatting with my fellow roommates.” Azroth motioned for Luke to enter the room, where five pairs of eyes were greedily eating up every inch of the human.
If he could have gotten away with it, he would have tossed books at each of them to tone them the fuck down.
It was almost as if they hadn’t ever seen a human.
“What was that noise earlier?” Luke inquired.
“A cat,” Azroth answered without thinking.
Luke’s head whipped around to him, eyes wide and face suddenly pale. “You have a cat?”
“Us? A cat? No, we don’t have a cat. It was a…”
“One of the neighbor’s cats,” Ogos chimed in. “One of the neighbor’s cats sneaked into the house and knocked some things over.”
“We chased it out,” Mullmag confirmed.
Luke exhaled and his slim shoulders slumped. “Oh, good.” He turned those wide eyes to Azroth. “I’m allergic to cats. Plus, cats are bird killers, so I’ve never really been a fan.”
“Cats suck!” Annod shouted, and Azroth prayed to the Dark Lord for strength.
“This is Luke. He has agreed to be our new tenant. He’s a graduate student at Ravenwood University, where he’s studying to be an ornithologist,” Azroth introduced. “Luke, this is Tog, Ogos, Mullmag, Tuk, and Annod.”
“Oh. Hello. You have…very interesting names. I’ll try very hard to get them right.”
“Don’t worry about that. I’m sure you’ll learn them quickly enough.” Azroth smiled to himself. He’d learn them as he screamed in terror while trying to run from the house. “Why don’t we go to the family room and sign a bit of paper work? Then you can get settled.”
Luke grinned up with such a look of relief and open joy. It almost seemed a shame to ruin all that. Almost .
The human waved to the others and left the room.
Azroth threw a last warning glare at his demon companions, making it clear that they would wish they’d been exorcised to Hell if they dared to cross him again.
He closed the doors and conjured up a generic rental agreement while Luke’s back was turned.
As he walked, he skimmed the document and magically crossed out the sections where Luke handed over his soul and sold the life of his first-born child to the Dark Lord.
While standard stuff in most contracts they created for humans, it was breaking the rules of their game.
The point wasn’t to own his soul or possess any of his children.
No, no. Nothing so serious this time. This was all about scaring the man to death.
If they were to take possession of a human soul suddenly, it was likely to send up some red flags in Hell and cause someone to look into their rogue status.
And not one of them wanted to return to Hell when there was so much fun to be had with the humans.
He sat beside Luke on the sofa and explained the boring bits of the contract before getting the man to sign it.
The second Luke put his pen down, he breathed an enormous sigh of relief. “Thank you so much for this. I was really getting worried that I’d be sleeping on the streets soon.”
“Now you have nothing to worry about but your studies. You’ll always have a home here with us.”
“Thank you so much. I-I forgot to ask! Is there a side door I should use?”
“A side door?” That was an odd request.
“Yes. I thought you might not want to see your tenant coming and going so much through your house. Some homes will have a back door or a side door that takes me straight up to my room.”
“No, you are welcome to use the front door. In fact,” Azroth paused and made a show of shoving his hand into his pocket, where he magicked up a key.
When he pulled his hand free, he held aloft a bright-silver key.
“This is for you. A key to the house. Our home is now your home. You may go wherever you wish in this home. Of course, you may wish to avoid our private rooms.”
Luke held the key tight in his left hand and nodded.
“Don’t worry. I won’t invade anyone’s privacy.
I’m sure you won’t even notice me here. Between my various jobs and classes, I don’t tend to be home a lot.
” He put the key into his pocket and pulled out a checkbook, where he wrote a check for the first month’s rent.
Azroth accepted it with a smile—not that he planned to cash the thing. What use did they have for human money? If they wanted something, they used magic to create it or simply stole it.
The transaction complete, Azroth escorted Luke to the door with the young man giving him the promise to return later that night. He needed to run off to gather up the rest of his possessions and complete his shift at one of his jobs.
Azroth closed the door quietly and watched the poor student practically skip along the sidewalk. Yes, he was riding high now with his new cheap home, but that high was going to come crashing down around him. It was going to be so very fun.
But who should torture poor Luke first? Should he punish Ogos and Tog for nearly ruining their game before it had even begun? Should he take the lead spot since he was the one organizing everything? Or allow one of the others to have a go at him first?