Chapter 12
twelve
. . .
The nice thing about hijinks with Tom was that he had ropes and harnesses, so when we were descending down a cliff because there was a tunnel in at the bottom, it wasn’t free fall.
The bad thing was that he wouldn’t let me take the vodka with me because glass and climbing were a bad combination.
I knew that, I mean, I could barely feel my arm, but it was definitely not great and all thanks to glass and climbing.
So, I had to drink the rest of the vodka really fast before we rappelled down the cliff face.
It was fine. Tom set off a mosquito bomb right next to this vampire guarding the entrance to the sewage tunnel, so he was busy while we slipped past him, and then we were in the dark, walking through sludge, my garbage boots happily waterproof.
We walked in the dark in the silence for a long time, until we finally came to a set of stone steps carved into the wall.
Tom flicked his lighter on for a second, enough to see the high cavern ceiling and the river next to us before it went out and we went up the steps.
He had me hooked up to him on a rope so if I accidentally fell in the river, he’d go with me.
I snickered and he hushed me. I went quiet immediately then felt the tug on my belt, two tugs that meant I should stop walking.
“Here’s the tricky part,” he whispered. “I’ll distract the vampire guard and then after the count of five, you follow me. The White Rabbit’s cell should be through the second door, then down the hall.”
I nodded although he couldn’t see me in the dark.
He unclipped the rope so we were separated and then he went to work on the lock.
I listened to the rustling and then the click.
He threw the door open and the sudden brightness had me blinking before strong hands landed on my shoulders, pinning me absolutely in place.
The person behind me bent his face to my neck, exactly where Lucy had bitten me. I batted him away. “Not a chance. I’ve already been drunk enough.”
He sniffed and then exhaled a breath. “You are definitely drunk enough. Tom, why does this female smell like my wife?” He urged me through the door to follow Tom where he was surrounded by three vampires who had his arms and neck in very firm grasps.
“Lucy ate me when I was showing her the impossible pinatas. Did Wat have a good birthday?” I craned my neck to look at the tall vampire who looked slightly familiar. “Hazen, right? I was at your wedding.”
He blinked his red eyes and then released me, took two very large steps away from me, and gestured at the other vampires who reluctantly released Tom.
“Perhaps you can explain what you’re doing in my dungeon.
Usually people try to stay out of my dungeon, but over the last few months, someone…
” he shot a glare at Tom. “Has been testing my security.”
“You have good security,” Tom said affably.
Hazen shook his head at the slayer. “And if you accidentally got eaten by a vampire, leaving your wife desolate?”
Tom nodded. “That could happen.”
“She’d have to avenge you.”
He shook his head. “She’s too smart for that kind of sentiment.”
“She’d get Lucy to help her.”
“And Honey.”
Hazen wrinkled his nose. “And the demon king’s mate. This is she, correct?”
I snorted. “No. I’m not anybody’s mate, and if I was, it wouldn’t be to some arrogant jerk who can’t even dump me properly. I’m here to see the White Rabbit and question him about angels.”
Hazen’s brows went very low over his eyes. “Are you? Why?”
I frowned at him. Why was I going to ask the White Rabbit about angels?
I shrugged. It didn’t really matter. “I can’t remember, but it went with the rest of the night.
Did you know that Lucy drained almost all of my blood, but while she did, she held my head in her hands and gave me brain damage?
Look at my arm. Do you see these stitches? I’m like Frankenstein.”
“Frankenstein’s monster,” Hazen and Tom said at the same time.
I scowled at them. “Whatever. I said what I meant.”
“She drank a lot of vodka while I gave her stitches,” Tom said, like I needed some explaining.
“Ah.” Hazen nodded soberly. He had sobriety down.
“In that case, why don’t I lead you to the White Rabbit.
He’s possibly the most dangerous creature I know, and has been refusing to tell me anything no matter how much meticulous torture I apply, but by all means, ask him your questions.
He might make you kill yourself if you look him in the eyes. ”
I frowned at him then shrugged. “That would go with the night too. Are you coming with me? You could probably keep me from strangling myself with my harness or something ridiculous.”
“I could, but I can guarantee that he wouldn’t talk to you if I was there.”
“Oh. Well, the point is to talk to him.” I sighed heavily. “All right. Show me the way, if you’d be so kind.”
He gestured to the door at the end of the hall. Okay then. I walked over there while everyone stared at me like I was a rat doing neat tricks. Also edible. Whatever.
“What is she wearing?” one of the vampires whispered to another vampire.
“She must have gotten caught in a sausage grinder,” the vampire responded.
I wrinkled my nose at them and pushed open the door. Whatever. Like I’d admit to putting my elbow through a window, or wearing Dorian’s shirt after I messed up my lady’s tea outfit with demon gore. That was such a long time ago. Maybe that had happened to someone else.
Inside the other door was a long hall and a room at the end, bars across the cell as well as a green film on the other side of the bars like a seran-wrap seal to keep the angel slaughterer in and everyone else out.
I walked down the hall, noticing that the temperature got colder and colder until I was shivering by the time I got close enough to see inside the bars.
The man was perched on a white stool in a crisp white cell beneath a bright white light.
The light was warm, but the floor had frost over it. Weird.
The man raised his head and then we both started at the same time.
“Mr. Heller?”
The pale man with a perpetually surprised expression blinked at me. “Ah. How nice to see you, Candy Queen. I’d like to order two tons of truffles, a truckful of caramels, and a milkshake.”
“I don’t sell milkshakes. I should, though, in the tea shop. It could add a nice dynamic. Ooh, I could do a fifties diner with the Halloween theme. Monsters were so charming back then, you know, monster mash, Igor, Boris…None of these modern demons and vampires with all their angst.”
He nodded soberly. “They really were. Are you drunk?”
I held out my arm. “I broke a window with my elbow, so I had to put vodka in it to clean the wound.”
“And then you drank the rest?”
I shrugged. “It’s been that kind of day. Week. Um, not to be rude, but are you really the White Rabbit who slaughtered all the angels?”
He shook his head, no. “Unfortunately, not.”
“Unfortunately? Oh. Who did slaughter all the angels?”
“Oh, I slaughtered all the angels except for one. You.”
I stared at him, slowly frowning deeper and deeper while I struggled to process through the alcohol. “You slaughtered all the angels except for me… Because I’m an angel?”
He snapped his fingers, making the chain glint that manacled his wrists to the floor. “Exactly right.”
“Oh. Tom’s book really got the illustrations wrong.”
“Did they? Oh, no, you’re a preemie.”
“A preemie.” I scratched my ear. “That makes literally no sense, I don’t care how drunk I am.”
“Sure it makes sense. I cut you out of your mother early. It’s a miracle that you survived so underdeveloped.
I was going to kill you, but you were so cute.
You reminded me of those helpless human babies.
When angels are born full term, they’re already ready to kill you, but you were so absolutely adorable. ”
“You didn’t kill me because I was adorable?”
“That, and there was this sorcerer and sorceress couple who wanted a demon baby to do some kind of ritualistic sacrifice with, who paid me a very good fee for you.”
I stared at him. “You sold me to people who wanted to sacrifice me? So it’s like slaughtering me plus profit. That’s good business sense.”
He snapped his fingers again, tugging against the manacle that held him to the floor. “Exactly so. That’s just logic. If you’d looked like most angels, they never would have taken you, but as you were, it was hard to convince them that you were a demon at all.”
I rubbed my forehead. “Why are you telling me all of this? Aren’t you supposed to be impossible to get information out of?
Maybe you’re lying. That’s probably what it is.
Yes. That makes much more sense than…” I frowned at him while my brain slowly processed.
“You came to my candy shop a lot. You’re one of my best buyers. Why?”
He smiled. “I’m sure you can figure it out.”
“I’m thinking…” I said so slowly while my vodka-fueled brain worked to put the pieces together. “It had something to do with my baby?”
He snapped his fingers again, and that time a little spark of purple came with the snap.
“Exactly so. You see, the Queen wanted me to kill all the angels and take the babies to raise them as part of her army, but none of them survived without their mothers. Unfortunately, they’re very attached.
So what I did when I stole your baby, was keep you alive and bring him the candy you made that had your scent and love baked into it, so he wouldn’t die.
That way I could at least have one demon pet for the Queen instead of the dozens she requested. ”
“But I thought Dorian saved other demon babies. They didn’t all die.”
He sniffed dismissively. “Not the king lines. Nasatch, Incubus, but none of the greater demons. The angels were the only ones who could give birth to the king lines.”