Chapter Twenty-Three
Xia
The impressive apartment building loomed in the sky like a gilded cage—all sleek marble, boasting opulence that made Xia feel even smaller than she already did.
This was supposed to be her sanctuary, a place where she could lick her wounds in private.
But the walls felt too thin, the air too still, as if the space itself was holding its breath, waiting for the next blow.
Xia buzzed Cheri up with a wry look on her face. She knew what was coming. It had been a week since the last CDS flight... where she had been completely destroyed at the hands of Masters R and Coop.
She hadn’t bothered to dress. What was the point?
The loose bun at the nape of her neck was a mess with strands escaping to cling to her damp neck.
Her sweatpants were gray and stretched out, hanging low on her hips with the waistband rolled down twice.
The oversized T-shirt she wore was the one she stole from Rex.
The fabric was soft with wear, and the scent of him still clung to it like a ghost. She hadn’t washed it. She couldn’t bring herself to do so.
Rex hadn’t been in the room when she woke up a couple of hours after she had passed out from pure exertion that night.
Well, who wouldn’t? Freaking panda bear balls, Rex had fucked her all the way to heaven, via hell and back.
Her thighs trembled, and her pussy still clenched every time she thought about what they had done to her in that cage.
Making use of his absence, she had dressed in this oversized T-shirt and hid in an empty pantry in the kitchen area until they landed, then slipped off the plane hidden between the food trolleys being offloaded. There was no way she could look Rex in the eyes after that scene.
Not because she felt degraded or like the slut he had called her over and over... but because in that moment, finally embracing the woman she wanted to be with him, came to light and offered a realization...
Realization, that what had started as a lighthearted goal to make him her husband and knowing she was falling in love with him had become certainty. She wasn’t falling in love with Rex Oliver. She loved him. There. She said it. She loved him... and her heart was broken.
Because he had made it clear while he thought she was passed out. The words he had murmured as he covered her with a blanket rang through her mind.
“Some things just aren’t meant to be. My life and yours are too far apart, and we can never be, Angel.”
It had cut deep. Knowing that he didn’t deem her good enough. That hurt... so fucking much.
The penthouse was a study in controlled chaos.
Takeout containers littered the coffee table while half-empty wine glasses were left to collect dust. The sheets on the bed were tangled, and the pillows were still indented from where she’d curled into them, staring sightlessly out over the canal.
The only thing she’d bothered to clean was the bathroom—scrubbed until her knuckles bled, as if she could wash away the memory of what had happened in that cage. .. and the heartache along with it.
A sharp knock rattled the door. Xia didn’t move at first. She dragged in a deep, calming breath.
Another knock, harder this time. “Open the damn door, Xia, or I swear to God I’ll break it down.” Cheri could be so dramatic at times.
Xia sighed, dragging herself off the couch. Her legs felt like lead and her body was still aching from the cage scene—from him. From the way he’d touched her, used her, and owned her in every way possible. From the way she had allowed him... and the way she craved it ever since.
She pulled the door open just enough to see Cheri’s scowl. Her dark eyes swept over Xia in concern, followed by a flash of exasperation.
“Well, about fucking time,” she snapped, shouldering past her before Xia could even react. The door slammed shut behind her. “Jesus Christ, you look like hell. Not that I blame you, especially after how that Demon Master slammed your clam the other night... good and proper, I might add.”
Xia didn’t answer. She just shuffled back to the couch, curling into the corner like a wounded animal. Cheri followed, her heels clicking against the hardwood before she kicked them off and plopped down beside her.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” Cheri said, kindly. “And don’t even try to deny it. I’ve been calling, texting, even sent you a fucking meme about bulls in sweaters, and you still didn’t reply.”
Xia picked at a loose thread on the cushion. “I didn’t know what to say.”
Cheri’s expression softened. “You don’t have to say anything. But you do have to tell me why you look like someone ran over your puppy before backing up to do it again.”
Xia let out a hollow laugh. “That’s... oddly specific.”
“Xia. Talk to me, darling.”
She swallowed hard. The words were there, burning in her throat, but she couldn’t force them out.
I love him. He doesn’t want me. I’m not good enough.
How did you say something like that without sounding pathetic? Without admitting that she’d been stupid enough to believe, even for a second, that she could be the woman Rex Oliver would choose?
Cheri’s gaze sharpened. “It’s about the cage, isn’t it?”
Xia flinched.
“Oh, honey.” Cheri’s voice dropped, softer now. “You think I don’t know what that was? What he did to you?”
Xia’s fingers stilled. “You saw.”
“Everyone saw.” Cheri’s jaw tightened. “The way he had you... fuck, Xia. The way you let him. The way you begged for it.” She reached out, gripping Xia’s wrist. “And I don’t mean that as a judgment. I mean it as a question. Because I know you. And I know you wouldn’t have let him do that unless—”
“Unless what?” Xia’s voice cracked. “Unless I’m just as fucked up as he is? Unless I wanted it? Unless I loved it?”
“There is absolutely no shame in what happened in that cage. To the contrary, it was hot as fuck. Besides, you know as well as I do that in our lifestyle, there is no judgment, Xia. Ever.” Cheri watched her without blinking. “And no, not unless you loved it but... unless you love him.”
The words hit like a physical blow. Xia’s breath left her in a rush, her vision blurring. She turned away, staring out the window. The city sprawled below her, indifferent to what was happening inside her.
“It doesn’t matter,” she whispered. “He made that clear.”
“What did he say?”
Xia’s laugh was bitter. “You mean when he thought I was passed out? When he tucked me in like some broken doll and whispered that we were never going to happen? That my life and his were too far apart?” She swallowed the lump in her throat.
“He called me Angel. Whispering my sub name like I was something precious. And then...”
Cheri was quiet for a few moments. “What do you want, Xia?”
She closed her eyes. She could still feel him—the weight of his body, and the way his voice had rumbled against her skin when he’d called her a slut, a whore... his. The way her heart had soared even as he’d broken her.
“I want to stop hurting,” she admitted. “I want to go back to before I met him. Before I knew what it felt like to be his.” She turned back to Cheri.
Her eyes burned. “I can’t do this anymore.
The flights, the games, the wife whispering—watching him with those potentials.
.. all so perfect, yet so completely inappropriate for him. I want none of it. I’m done.”
Cheri studied her, then nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah. Okay.” Cheri reached for her hand, squeezing tight. “But you’re not doing this alone. You hear me? No more hiding. No more pretending you’re fine when you’re not.”
Xia’s phone buzzed on the coffee table—Rex—and this time, Xia didn’t hesitate. The decision had been made. She was done. Snatching it up, she schooled her voice into a light, easy tone.
“Well, well, well,” she drawled, leaning back against the couch with a smirk Cheri couldn’t see. “If it isn’t the man of the hour. To what do I owe the pleasure, Master R?”
Cheri’s eyebrows shot up, but Xia ignored her, twirling a loose strand of hair around her finger like she didn’t have a care in the world.
Rex’s voice was smooth, darker than she remembered. “Xia. I was starting to think you were avoiding me.”
“Avoiding you?” She let out a breathy laugh. “Now, why would I do that? Unless you’re calling to apologize for the spectacular public display you put on last week. Because, lemme tell you, Master R, I still can’t sit right.”
Cheri choked on a laugh, covering her mouth.
Rex’s silence was heavy. “You left before I could speak to you after the flight.”
“Oh, did I?” Xia feigned surprise. “Must’ve been all that exercise wearing me out. You know how it is—when a man fucks you into next year, a girl needs her beauty sleep.”
Another pause. She could practically hear the gears turning in his head. What game is she playing?
Good. Let him wonder.
“Are you alright?” he finally asked in a carefully neutral tone.
Xia let out a dramatic sigh. “Oh, dear Master R. Always so concerned for your subs.” She stretched, arching her back like a cat. “I’m perfect. Just a little sore. But don’t worry—I’ll be ready for round two whenever you are.”
Cheri was staring at her like she’d grown a second head. Xia shot her a wink.
Rex exhaled, the sound crackling through the speaker. “Very well. If that’s all you have to say.”
“Oh, that’s not all I have to say.” Xia’s voice dropped into a purr. “But I do have a question for you.”
“And what’s that?”
“When’s the next flight on CDS? Because I miss playing wife whisperer.” The words hung in the air, as sweet and poisonous as her intentions. “I’ve got a very particular set of skills after all, and since my time is running out before I leave for Hawaii, I’d better find Mrs. Perfect for you.”
Rex’s voice was clipped. “Two weeks. I expect you’ll be available.”
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” She traced a finger along the couch’s armrest as she struggled to keep up the facade. “How many potentials this time?”
“Six.”
Xia’s heart cracked a little further. “Send me the link to their profiles. I’ll make sure you get your money’s worth this time.”
“This time, I expect you to find at least one or two worthy of the golden ticket to my bedroom.”
Xia let out a laugh, bright and brittle. “Oh, you can be sure of that, Mr. Oliver. If you chose the right potentials, all six might get to fuck you.”
Another pause. Then he said on a sigh, “Xia.”
She cut him off before he could say anything else. “Gotta run. There’s someone at the door. See you in two weeks... toodles!” She hung up, tossing the phone onto the couch as if it burned her.
Cheri gaped at her. “What the hell was that?”
Xia’s smile didn’t waver, but her hands were shaking. “That,” she said in a steady voice, “was me making sure he never sees me break.”
Cheri’s expression softened. “Oh, baby.”
Xia stood abruptly, smoothing down her shirt. “I need booze.”
“Xia—”
“No.” She turned, her eyes burning. “I’m not doing this. Not right now.” She grabbed her phone, shoving it into her pocket. “I’m going to make sure he regrets ever letting me go. Then I’m going to walk away.”
Cheri watched her, worry etched into every line of her face. “And if he doesn’t let you?”
Xia’s smile was brittle as she finally lost the battle. The first sob tore uncontrollably out of her. It wasn’t a pretty, silent cry. It came untamed from deep within. Xia’s body jerked as if she’d been struck, and her knuckles turned white as she struggled to control the flood.
“Shh—” Cheri started, but Xia wasn’t listening.
Another sob ripped free. An ache shot through her ribs. Her breath came in short, uneven gasps, each one catching in her throat like barbed wire. She pressed her face into Cheri’s shoulder. Her teeth sank into her own lip hard enough to taste copper, but it didn’t stop the sound. Nothing could.
“It’s... it’s not fair,” Xia choked. Her hands trembled against Cheri’s back as her whole body shook.
“I was so sure... I never felt like this. He unleashed the wildness in me. God... sob... it was amazing. Freaking wild and slutty but... fuck me... I bent for him. I let him—” Her voice cracked, and she swallowed hard.
“And he just... he just took everything, molded and twisted me. It made me feel like... like his. Meanwhile... I was nothing.”
Cheri’s arms tightened around her, one hand cradling the back of Xia’s head, the other rubbing slow, soothing circles between her shoulder blades. “I know, baby,” she murmured in a thick voice. “I know.”
Xia’s breath hitched again as her chest heaved. The tears came faster now. The wetness on her cheeks, the way her nose started to run, and the way her throat burned with every sob were humiliating. She wasn’t the crying type. This wasn’t who she was, and yet, at this moment, this was the real her.
“I hate him,” she gasped, her voice trembling. “I hate him so much it hurts.” She pressed her forehead against Cheri’s collarbone as her body wracked with another shuddering breath.
“No, honey, you don’t.”
“You’re right... I-I miss him. And that’s the worst part. I miss the way he—” Her voice broke into another sob. “I miss the way he looks at me. Like in that moment, I am the only thing that matters.”
Cheri’s fingers tangled in Xia’s hair. “Oh, sweetheart,” she whispered in a rough voice. “You are the only one that matters.”
Xia shook her head, her breath coming in short, sharp bursts. “Not to him.” The words were muffled against Cheri’s skin. “God, I’m so pathetic, crying over something that was never mine. I was fooling myself all along.”
She was now weeping in earnest, great, heaving sobs that shook her entire body, her fingers clutching Cheri like she was the only thing keeping her from falling apart completely.
The sound of it was raw, ugly—the sound of a heart breaking in real time.
Cheri murmured words of comfort that neither of them really believed.
Because some wounds didn’t heal with time.
Some wounds just ached.