Chapter 3 #3
He quickly turned his face back to the stream, but I didn't miss the way his freckled cheeks quickly flushed a deep crimson.
"Y-yeah," he stammered, as though he had to work to force the words from his throat.
With my eyes, I saw a boy who was my best friend. His hair had grown out a bit and had a slight wave to it. There was a distance in his eyes and a sadness that wasn't there before. I didn't know what happened to him, but I wished he'd talk to me like he used to.
The stream bubbled, providing some background noise as we both got lost in our thoughts. It was dark out, but the full moon was bright and reflected vividly off the dark blue surface.
"I wish you'd talk to me, Jasper," I said quietly, deciding I was sick of wondering what was going on in his head. I climbed up the boulder and sat beside him.
He pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around them. "I've just been really busy."
"You've been really busy?" I repeated back, disbelief loud in my tone.
"Yes," he snapped, turning to face me. His eyes, which usually betrayed his emotions, were suddenly very deep. Deep like the woods around us, like a lake that you knew you couldn’t swim in.
I didn't bother hiding the pain in my eyes before quickly looking away. I felt his warm body move closer to me, and then he took my hand in his with his usual grip, firm but not tight.
He was right there. Regardless of the secrets I knew he was keeping, our hands were on fire.
I was feeling a mixture of anger and sorrow.
I wanted to hurt him because he'd hurt me.
I wanted to kiss him and hold him and never let go.
I could smell him; the unique scent of blood orange and cedar that was all Jasper.
I could taste his lips and the ache they brought me.
"Rhodes..." he said, a statement and a plea. With anyone else, anybody fucking else, I'd have written them off already. But Jasper—we'd been friends for so long that I hadn't realized the moment I fell in love with him. Maybe I always had been?
Slowly, I inhaled a deep breath and brought my face back to his. The moon reflected off the lake, giving Jasper's eyes a soft glow. The stubble on his face was longer than I'd ever seen it, but the way he smiled made him seem the same.
"You'd tell me if something was going on?"
He nodded and flashed a grin. "Of course I would. I tell you everything."
My hand found his cheek, and I softly traced my fingertips over it. "I've missed you, Jasper."
He hurriedly interlaced his fingers with mine, leaning eagerly into the touch of my hand. "I'm right here. I'm always going to be here."
That flare of suspicion sparked in my gut. On the one hand, I knew he meant it. On the other... I'd been seeing him less and less, and when I did see him, his moods were erratic.
"Can we tell the others? I can't keep it a secret forever, Jasper. They know I'm seeing someone. They think it's one of the servant girls." We both laughed at how very wrong they were.
Jasper's soft lips cut off my laughter. I felt the warmth of his breath as he pulled me closer, our bodies melding into one another with an urgency that couldn't be denied. His hands were everywhere, rough and gentle at the same time, and I reveled in the feel of him against me.
It was like he was trying to convey something to me through this kiss, something deeper than words. And I wanted to know what it was, to understand what was really going on with him.
He pulled away, his forehead resting against mine. "I'm sorry," he whispered.
"For what?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
"For being such a mess lately. For not being there for you like I should be."
I shook my head, cupping his face in my hands. "It's okay. We're here now."
Jasper's handsome face went from radiating pure happiness to grimacing with pain in an instant. He ceased all physical contact with me immediately and hopped to his feet. Confused, I also stood.
"I-I have to go." He jumped down from the boulder without so much as a glance back.
"What the fuck? What do you mean you have to go?" I demanded, storming after him.
"I'll see you tomorrow at breakfast."
"Jasper!" I bellowed. I'd never raised my voice at him before, and I saw the way his wings rippled, whether with anger at my tone, or something else, I didn't know... and I no longer held hope that he'd tell me the truth.
Slowly, he turned to face me. "Please just trust me... and don't tell anyone about us. Not yet."
"Why can't you talk to me?!" My spine rolled as hurt morphed into anger.
He stared at me for a long moment. I could've sworn I saw unshed tears shining in his eyes, but it could've been the reflection of the moonlight. Unfortunately, I didn't get a second look because he sighed deeply, and before I knew what was happening, he vanished from my sight.
"Are you coming?"
I blinked rapidly as my heart raced in my chest. My vision blurred as the moonlit woods faded from sight, and Ashland's face came into view.
I coughed to break the silence. "Yeah, just thought I saw something..."
Ash shifted his gaze around us. "This place does have a knack for showing us things we really don't want to see."
With one last glance over my shoulder, I followed Ashland through the doorway, eager to put the past where it belonged.
Behind me.